Posts Tagged ‘Charlie’

Sneak Peek


October 17th, 2015 Posted 8:38 am

“There’s no Santa Claus,” Charlie said.

“Who told you that?” said Bernie.


“Who’s Esmé?”

“At school.”

“Well,” said Bernie, “everyone has their own opinion.”

“It’s not an opinion, Dad,” said Charlie. “It’s a scientific fact.”


“From a scientist.”

“Any scientist in particular?”

“Groucho Marx.”

“Esmé told you that?”


“Know much about Groucho Marx?”

Charlie shrugged his skinny little shoulders. “He was a scientist and he said there ain’t no Santa Claus.”

“What do Esmé’s parents do?”

“Drive her to school. Pick her up.”

“I meant for a living.”

“Like you’re a private eye?”

“Yeah. Like that.”

“I don’t think they’re private eyes,” Charlie said.

“Why not?”

“They’re rich.”

– the beginning of SANTA 365, the new Chet and Bernie e-short story, coming Nov. 24. Pre-orderable now! Why? Capitalism!



First Sentence of SANTA 365


September 24th, 2015 Posted 8:55 am

“There is no Santa Claus,” Charlie said.


(the new Chet and Bernie e-short, on sale Nov. 24, available for pre-order now)


What’s In A Name?


February 15th, 2014 Posted 9:02 am

Ms. Publicist: Fifteenth of the month and therefore time for What’s In A Name, where Spencer Quinn and I discuss a character name from the Chet and Bernie mysteries. What’s it going to be this month, Spence?

Spencer Quinn: How about Charlie, Bernie’s son, missed by him dreadfully after the divorce. I think the name says something about Bernie and his ex-wife Leda, and the state of their marriage at the beginning.

Ms. P: Which was good?

SQ: I think so. These are revolutionary – or at least rapidly evolutionary – times when it comes to naming kids. The fact that they gave their son such a traditional, unexciting, but at the same time esthetically quite pleasing name, at least to my way of thinking, says something. And this notion – that Bernie and Leda had something good at one time, has, in truth, just occurred to me! I may do something with it.

Ms. P: Such as? Uh, Spence? Where are you going?

Coming Aug. 5:

9781476703398_Paw & Order


Chetspeak on Sunday


December 15th, 2013 Posted 8:37 am

The camera moved in closer on Charlie, lying still, and Lars started to raise his hand, like he was about to make that chopping motion and say cut, when all of a sudden Charlie’s hands moved, wrapping themselves around the cowboy hat and holding it to his chest. Thad’s eyes misted over. And then Charlie opened his own eyes. For an instant they seemed to see Thad, and then they didn’t. Charlie’s eyes went totally blank and lifeless – I knew that look from my job, had seen it too often – and … and stayed that way!

“Charlie!” Bernie shouted, and ran onto the set. Me right with him, of course. We’re a lot alike, as I may have mentioned before.

– Climax of the movie-shooting scene from A Fistful of Collars. Lars is the director, Thad the star, and Charlie is Bernie’s 6-year-old son and (to everyone’s surprise) a suddenly budding actor.

Welcome Louise, the rescued Greyhound.


The Books

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