Posts Tagged ‘Bark To The Future’

Football

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September 26th, 2022 Posted 7:41 am

Tennis came up yesterday so why not football today?

“Chisholm High, Chet.” Bernie took a deep breath. His eyes got a faraway look. “A kind of madhouse, in retrospect.”

What was that about? We were parked by a playing field that lay alongside a brick building, not tall but big and sort of heavy-looking. Madhouse sounded bad but nothing bad seemed to be going on.  All I saw was a bunch of boys in football uniforms, many of these boys on the large side, standing around a red-faced bald little dude with a whistle hanging from his neck.

“It can’t be,” Bernie said. “Coach Raker? Shouldn’t he be dead?”

All at once I was finding Bernie a bit hard to understand. I made up my mind then and there not to let him out of my sight for the rest of the day. We hopped out of the car – me actually hopping and Bernie not, although he can, as he proved beyond doubt the day a diamondback slithered out from under the driver’s seat and started wrapping itself around the gear shift – and headed across the field.

“Uh, a little space there, big guy?”

I tried to give him a little space.

 

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Cozies? I Don’t Think So.

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September 22nd, 2022 Posted 7:57 am

Jersey shrugged. “Could be anybody.”

“Take your time,” Bernie said.

Jersey’s face twisted into an angry shape. “I hate when people say that.”

“No offense intended,” Bernie began, “I only – “

“I hate that whole mentality, unnerrstan’?”

“I do,” Bernie said.

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Confusion and Beginnings

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September 18th, 2022 Posted 8:06 am

First, to clear up a bit of confusion. Here’s the pub schedule. The paperback of It’s A Wonderful Woof – Oct. 18. Mrs. Plansky’s Revenge – July 25, 2023. Still untitled Chet and Bernie Christmas/holiday novel – sometime in the fall of 2o23. Mrs. Plansky’s Revenge is not a C&B, so some readers were worried that there would be no more C&B. Worry not!

Meanwhile, Bark To The Future is the latest C&B, available now, like this very instant. Here’s how it starts:

“Let’s see what this baby can do,” Bernie said.

And there you have it. Bernie’s brilliance, lighting up the whole oil-stained yard at Nixon’s Championship Autobody. Let’s see what this baby can do. Can you imagine anyone else saying that? I sure can’t. I wouldn’t even try, and who knows Bernie better than me? Sometimes humans talk to themselves, as you may or may not know. Humans have a lot going on in their heads. Too much? I couldn’t tell you. But I wouldn’t trade places. Let’s leave it at that. The point is that when they’re talking to themselves they’re trying to dig down through all the too-muchness and get to what’s at the bottom, digging, as it happens, being one of my very best things. Maybe we’ll get to that later. For now, the takeaway is that Bernie talks to himself in front of me. So I know what’s at the bottom of Bernie, way down deep, case closed. Closing cases is what we do, by the way, me and Bernie. We’re partners in the Little Detective Agency – Little on account of that’s Bernie’s last name. Call me Chet, pure and simple. Our cases usually get closed by me grabbing the perp by the pant leg. Although there were no perps around right now and we weren’t even working a case, my teeth got a funny feeling.

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Eating Crow

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September 15th, 2022 Posted 7:54 am

None of that was important. All I could think about were crows. I’d never seen Bernie eat one and hoped I never would. Chickens, like crows, are birds, unless I’m way off on this, and I’d often seen Bernie eating chicken. But there’s a big difference between chickens and crows, which you must know if you’ve ever gazed into the eyes of a crow. Something’s going on in there, big time. You don’t see that in chicken eyes.

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The Books



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