Last Minute Father’s Day Gift?

How about Heart of Barkness, the most recent Chet and Bernie novel? Here’s Bernie with his son Charlie:

Also it was okay for men to cry. I’d heard if right from Bernie’s lips, one day when Charlie started crying because of some bully in school.

“It’s okay to cry, Charlie,” he’d said. “But first try not to.”

“Huh?” Charlie had said.

“Never mind,” Bernie had told him. “Make your hands into fists and stand like this. Are you right-handed or left-handed?”


“Just kidding. I’m going to teach you the simple right cross. It starts in your legs – “


“Actually the balls of your feet. And finishes smack on some ass – some jerk’s nose. No one likes getting hit on the nose. They try to avoid situations where it might happen again.” He’d held up the palm of his hand. “Here’s some jerk’s nose.” And Charlie’d thrown a punch. Smack. “Nice. Now punch like you’re punching something a little behind the nose, so you have to punch through to get there.”


“That should do it.”

And Bernie had been right about that, except for an angry call from the bully’s mom a few days later.


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This entry was posted on Saturday, June 20th, 2020 at 8:38 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “Last Minute Father’s Day Gift?”

  1. Wose-The Small and Meek
    10:06 am on June 20th, 2020


    I love the relationship between Bernie and Charlie. The last line makes me laugh!

    Create a good day!

  2. Wookie's and Teddy's Paw
    10:08 am on June 20th, 2020

    Back to Hobbit from last night. I still have the Little Detective Agency card, the recipe book and passport. I also have have a Chet & Bernie Mystery Series Frisbee among my treasured possessions (although I don’t remember exactly how I got it). And most importantly, the ARC for To Fetch a Thief, which Wookie of Chevy Chase won in the first on-line quiz on the blog (remember Niagara Falls, slowly I turn, inch by inch . . . .)

  3. B. Stover
    10:37 am on June 20th, 2020

    I’m laughing at the last line also.

    Good morning all.

  4. BooBear
    4:09 pm on June 20th, 2020

    Rio and Teddy’s Paw, mom also has all those items including the frisbee. She also has all of Wose’s calendars and Snowhook items. At one of the auctions, Mom bought a cat necklace that Amalia had made. It hangs from her rear view mirror as a safe travel talisman.

  5. Thieves!
    5:50 pm on June 20th, 2020

    The Giant says the same thing as Bernie. He says to hit a foot past where you’re aiming, make it count. We wonder if Bernie and the Giant went to the same etiquette school.

    Beau: cough…regarding your statement from last night…we don’t recall exaggerating at this time. We can recall the Wookie and Luna haven’t made it back from negotiating our plea with Mother. We should go check on them so we will miss bible study today…and maybe tomorrow…and the day after that.

  6. Hobbit
    6:23 pm on June 20th, 2020

    w & T’s Paw: I didn’t know there was a frisbee. Maybe it was from a bookstore event? And now I do recall Wookie winning a contest and receiving an ARC. I think I have a couple of patches also. Of course, I have all of Wose’s calendars and the auction items I bought.

    Speaking of winning…A few days ago I won on FB a “rare printed (and autographed) copy of the first Chet and Bernie e-short story, A Cat Was Involved.” It is supposedly making its way to me in the mail even as I type. It will be among my most treasured possessions. I will handle it with gloved hands and I already have a shadow box that I might be able to put it in. Woo Hoo. This is better than winning a lottery.

    When Sadie and Lady would cross the line from playing to fighting, Sadie would always go for the ankles. Sadie adds that bared teeth and growling might also work to get a bully to back off. Just saying.

  7. Wose-The Small and Meek
    7:45 pm on June 20th, 2020

    It means a lot to me that the Plunder On! calendars are considered keepers to youse!

  8. Riõ - The Evil Pug
    11:13 pm on June 20th, 2020

    Rose!…I have all of your beautiful calendars snuggled away in a safe place…snort!…I also have the Frisbee!…yeeeep!heh!heh!….The Dishlickers cookbook is a precious item. My friend loves it more than I do because she actually uses it…chorkel!

  9. Staff
    12:00 am on June 21st, 2020

    Yes! I used my Dishlickers cookbook this week to make Maggie’s fish chowder. That was the only place I could quickly find the recipe!
    I have a business card too. Parked somewhere in one of the books. And an ARC. I got it because I played the transplant card at the perfect time. I feel sort of guilty about that. Guilty but very proud to own it. LOL

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