Posts Tagged ‘Trimmer’

A Good Team

1 Comment »

August 24th, 2009 Posted 8:58 am

Another light knock on the front door. At the same time, I smelled the burgers cooking on the patio – maybe cooking a bit too much, but I’m not fussy about things like that. Leda – Bernie’s ex-wife – was a fussy eater. Wow! So interesting to watch her pushing food around her plate, hardly eating any. Later in the kitchen I always made sure none of that food went to waste. Once she saw me eating off her plate and threw it in the trash. A perfectly good plate, and I had it just about clean, so what was that about?

Something to think about later. Right now there was another soft knock at the door. Bernie glanced down at Freddie Dancer and Trimmer, cuffed on the floor. His face got the way it does when he’s having an important thought. Love that look, and it always mean things will work out.

“Suzie?” he said. “Mind popping into the dining room for a second?” We have this dining room – have I mentioned it already? – where no one ever goes. “You should be able to see our visitor form the little window over the sideboard.”

Suzie nodded and left the room. Freddie Dancer and Trimmer twisted their heads around to look. Bernie put his finger across his lips – that human signal meaning not a peep. He also put his foot lightly on on Freddie Dancer’s back. I liked the sight of that, and put one of my paws on Trimmer’s back. We were a good team, me and Bernie.


Something Bernie Says We Should Be Remembering

1 Comment »

August 23rd, 2009 Posted 9:01 am



APRIL 22ND, 2009 POSTED 8:07 AM

“Might as well answer the question,” Bernie said.

“I don’t have to answer your questions,” the blond woman said.

Meaning we’d be playing fetch soon? Or not?

“Kelo’s wife or sister,” Bernie said. “I can probably look it up in a matter of minutes.”

The blond woman’s nostrils widened. I love when humans do that! I do it, too, to get more smells in quicker. Why humans do it is a big puzzle, since they can smell just about nothing.

“Ex-wife,  if you must know,” the blond woman said. “I haven’t had my license changed yet.”

“To what?”

“My birth name – Peters. Portia Peters.”

“And the reason you’re looking for him?”

“He’s got something of mine.”


“I’d prefer not to say. You can’t keep me here.”

Bernie nodded. He’s a great nodder, has lots of nods. I wasn’t sure what this one meant.

“What does that nod mean?” said Portia Peters. Hey! She was maybe turning out to be not so bad after all.

Bernie smiled. He has the nicest smile, if I haven’t pointed that out already. “Why don’t you search the house first?” he said. “That’s what you came for, isn’t it?”

“I think I’ll just leave,” Portia said. “I’d like my gun back.”

Bernie laughed. “We’ll ship it to you.”

“Why are all men jerks?” Portia said. She opened the door and left, slamming it behind her.

Bernie looked at me. “Male jerkiness must have some kind of Darwinian upside – that’s all I can think of off the top of my head. All set for a ride in the car?”

My tail started wagging big time. Was I ever.

Plus: Sunday – Elvis Gospel

Posted in Chet The Dog


By The Pant Leg


August 21st, 2009 Posted 9:32 am

Just as Trimmer yanked the broom closet door open, I noticed something I might have missed before, or maybe had forgotten. Funny how forgetting happens, and then all of a sudden you remember! Does that ever happen to you? For example, I’m not supposed to snap up bacon strips sitting on the kitchen counter, but I forget pretty much every time.

But that’s not the point. The point is Trimmer had a gun – now held at his side as he yanked the door open with his other hand. And then? And then the same thing happened that always happens when the broom closet door opens: stuff came flying out. The iron, for example, which hit Trimmer in the head; and the ironing board, which fell forward and knocked the gun from Freddie Dancer’s hand; and lots of other stuff – baseball bats, tennis racquets, skis – and we don’t even ski, me and Bernie, the only snow I’ve ever seen being on TV – and beach balls, lawn chairs, the broken TV – all too much to take in at the moment, what with how we were getting down to business, me and Bernie, with these perps. Was that screaming coming from Trimmer? I wasn’t even hurting him, had him by the pant leg, that was all. He must have been the type who’s deep-down afraid of me and my kind; the type that makes my job easy.


Trimmer Steps Up


August 19th, 2009 Posted 9:06 am

Trimmer, the big bald guy, wrapped his huge hand around the door handle and gave a tremendous pull. The door flew open no problem, like it hadn’t been stuck at all. Doors are a big problem for me, by the way. We’ve worked on this, me and Bernie, and now there’s one kind of door I can actually open. I think that’s in Thereby Hangs A Tail. Admin says to mention that comes out January 5, 2010 – “for all you people who like to celebrate Christmas late,” he says. Admin’s a guy I don’t understand very well.

Where was I?


Tags: ,
Posted in Chet The Dog

The Books

powered by wordpress | site by bakermedia