Posts Tagged ‘To Fetch A Thief’

Chetspeak on Sunday


October 18th, 2015 Posted 7:52 am

Bernie switched on the bedside light, a dim brownish light that left the corners of the room in shadow, even though it was a pretty small room. He tried the overhead light; it didn’t work. I sniffed around. There’d been a man and a woman in here, but not recently, and they’d had a burger or two. Other than that, nothing of note. Then I spotted a strange picture on the wall, a picture of a bull and a dude dressed up in a glittery costume. The dude held a sword and seemed to be about to stab the bull with it. Could that be? I tried to look away but couldn’t, at least not for long. Has that ever happened to you? Meanwhile Bernie was unpacking, pouring water in my bowl, brushing his teeth. Those little teeth humans had – they brushed them every day for some reason. Mine are big but only get brushed when Janie’s Pet Grooming Service – We Pick Up and Deliver comes to visit. So: the smaller the teeth the more you need to brush them? Was that it?



Chetspeak on Sunday


October 11th, 2015 Posted 8:29 am

The heel is down at the foot: I was pretty sure of that, because when Bernie says heel, which he really never has to, I walk along right beside his feet. The head is the head, at the top. So head over heels means what? The head is always over the heels, except in an upside-down situation, for example when a perp by the name of Nuggets Bolliterri tried to escape on us from an upstairs window and ended up dangling head-first in a tangle of tied-together sheets. Leda had just said Malcolm was head over heels. Meaning what? He was tangled in tied-together sheets? I couldn’t take it any further.



Chetspeak On Sunday


September 27th, 2015 Posted 8:37 am

“I’m Autumn,” the young woman said, closing the door.

“That’s a nice name,” Bernie said.

“I found it online,” Autumn said.

“Oh,” said Bernie.

She looked at me. “Is this Chet? Livia asked me if he was with you.”

“Yup,” Bernie said.

“Can I pat him?”

“He hates that.”

“You’re joking right?”

Of course he was. Bernie’s quite the joker at times, not always the right ones. But in this case everything worked out fine. Autumn turned out to be an excellent patter. The young ladies in houses of ill-repute were always excellent patters, although why I wasn’t sure. What the whole business was about, meaning what was actually for sale – for example, Max’s Memphis Ribs sold ribs – remained a mystery to me.



What’s In A Name?


September 23rd, 2015 Posted 8:47 am

Mrs. Publicist: Time for our regular feature which is supposed to appear on the 15th of the month, but now seems to show up any old time.

Spence: The end days must be near.

Mrs. P: What’ll it be this time?

Spence: How about Peanut, the circus elephant in TO FETCH A THIEF?

Mrs. P: Almost certainly the biggest character in the whole series. Bigger than Iko the gator in THE SOUND AND THE FURRY, would you say?

Spence: Definitely, by weight. As for Peanut’s name, it’s kind of a cliche, sort of circus humor. Sometimes I like to start with something that looks like a cliche and then reveal that it’s not.

Mrs. P: Peanut going from a cliche to a very much unique individual?

Spence: Exactly.

Mrs. P: Thanks, Spence. See you whenever for What’s In A Name.



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