Chet The Dog

Posts Tagged ‘tin futures’

Chetspeak on Sunday

After a while, I grew aware that the Hawaiian shirt guy had moved next to Bernie and struck up a conversation, at first about Hawaiian shirts, then about something else.

“What I run,” he was saying, “is what you might call a hedge fund for the little guy.”

“Little guy?” said Bernie.

“Not little in terms of intelligence or ability,” the Hawaiian shirt man added quickly. “But for one reason or another, men of distinction who don’t happen to be Wall Street insiders. I’ve had some nice play in commodities lately. You’re familiar with the basics of tin futures?”

Bernie motioned for another drink, overturning the salt and pepper. “Can’t be that complicated,” he said.

“Exactly,” replied the Hawaiian shirt man. And to the bartender when Bernie’s drink came: “I’ll get that.”

– from THEREBY HANGS A TAIL.

Foolproof Financial Advice In These Trying Times (From Thereby Hangs A Tail)

Lieutenant Stine went away. I polished off my steak tips, stretched out on those cool tiles, chilled out. What a life! The final chase through the warehouse ran pleasantly through my mind. And then again. After a while, I grew aware that the Hawaiian shirt guy had moved next to Bernie and struck up a conversation, at first about Hawaiian shirts, then about something else.

“What I run,” he was saying, “is what you might call a hedge fund for the little guy.”

“Little guy?” said Bernie.

“Not little in terms of intelligence or ability,” the Hawaiian shirt man added quickly. “But for one reason or another, men of distinction who don’t happen to be Wall Street insiders. I’ve had some nice play in commodities lately. You’re familiar with the basics of tin futures?”

Bernie motioned for another drink, overturning the salt and pepper. “Can’t be that complicated,” he said.

“Exactly,” replied the Hawaiian shirt man. And to the bartender when Bernie’s drink came: “I’ll get that.” Then came a lot of back and forth about tin, puts, calls, Bolivia and other mysteries. My eyelids got heavy, way too heavy to keep open. I let them close, drifted off. Harmless talk was all it was. As long as the check book didn’t come out of Bernie’s pocket we were in good shape.

Sometime later I awoke, feeling tip-top. I got up, gave myself a good shake, looked around. The bar was empty except for me, the bartender, the man in the Hawaiian shirt, and Bernie. The only completely sober one was me. Then came the bartender, the man in the Hawaiian shirt, and Bernie, dead last. Also, the check book was coming out.

Welcome Murphy, Missy.

Iditarod 2012?

“What are we going to do about this Snowhook thing?” Spence says.

“Something,” says Admin.

“Like what?”

“We’ll have to kick it around.”

Kick it around? Does that mean a ball is coming into play? I open my eyes. No ball in sight, but what do you know? A nice little end piece from a croissant seems to have fallen under the table. I barely have to move. What a life!

“Any idea what tin prices are like these days?” Admin says.

Oh, no.

“The three month’s at $31,600.00.”

“Interesting.”

It is? How?

Welcome Superdog, Shiloh, Maddy, Wiley.

A Close Call

Search Albie’s house from top to bottom: that was what Bernie said, but for some reason we went the other way, starting in the basement. I’d never been in any basement at all like Albie’s: it was more like the floor of a casino, with slot machines, roulette wheels – on my last trip to a casino, this was on the Nuggets Bolliterri case, I hadn’t known there were rules about not putting your front paws on the roulette wheel while it was spinning, so if I ever get to go to a casino again, I guarantee that won’t happen, if guarantee means being pretty sure – card tables, dice, plus a long bar. We went behind the bar, through a door and into a kitchen. Bernie started opening things – cupboards, fridges, drawers.

“Smell anything, big guy?”

Sure I did! Lots of cooking had gone on here, plus there was a mouse on the loose.

Bernie approached a freezer. We used to have one on Mesquite Road, but Leda took it when she left. “I’m getting a funny intuition,” Bernie said. Uh-oh. I wasn’t sure what an intuition was, but when Bernie got them bad things sometimes happened after, such as Hawaiian pants, and – hey! – tin futures! I almost forgot about tin futures! They’d come very close to leaving my mind forever. Whew! That was a close call.

Bernie stepped forward and raised the top of the freezer.