Posts Tagged ‘the Valley’

Faint Memories


October 7th, 2010 Posted 10:00 am

Colonel Bob’s on speaker. Hey! That reminds me of something. Not just all the fun we had – those pilots sure know how to have fun: is that in Thereby Hangs A Tail? But something else, something about …

“Just wondering how we’re doing, Bernie?” he says.

Bernie rubs his chin. He hasn’t shaved in a day or two, so his hand makes a rasping sound. I like that sound but prefer when Bernie shaves. Never liked beards, and besides we have to look professional in this business. We’re partners in the Little Detective Agency, me and Bernie. I do my best to look professional. Janie’s my groomer, the best groomer in the whole Valley. She has a great business with a great business plan: Janie’s Pet Grooming Service – We Pick Up and Deliver.

“I’m talking about Astrid,” Colonel Bob says.

“Yeah,” says Bernie. “Maybe we should meet.”

“Dry Gulch?” says Colonel Bob. “In an hour?”

“Okay.” Bernie hangs up and turns to me. “Where’s that damn flow chart?”

Flow chart? A faint memory rises in my mind, kind of like that fish I once saw in the canal. We have a canal here in the Valley – have I mentioned that already? And then, just like that fish, the faint memory sinks back down, out of sight. I don’t let it bother me.


Uma Thurman, Tiger Woods, Tin Futures


May 18th, 2010 Posted 8:38 am

“Albie actually picked this development up after it went under,” Foster said. “For a song, of course.”

Hey! Albie Rose was a singer? I’d never have guessed that. Lately Bernie and I have been listening a lot to Buddy and Julie Miller, especially What You Gonna Do Leroy. We knew a Leroy – Leroy LaRue, a real sharp-dressing perp, now wearing an orange jumpsuit. Plus there’s a lot of Hawkshaw Hawkins recently – Lonesome 77203. We’ve had other periods of lots of Hawkshaw Hawkins – they come and go.

“Like to take a little tour of the place?” Foster said.

“What for?” said Bernie.

“I thought you were interested in what was happening to the Valley,” Foster said. “That’s the word on you, anyway.”

“Yeah?” said Bernie. “What else have you heard?”


Thereby Hangs A Tail


January 5th, 2010 Posted 6:27 am

Today is pub date for Thereby Hangs A Tail. Everyone here at, from Chet on down, thanks all our readers. 

Tomorrow: back home in the Valley.


Thin Ice!


December 6th, 2009 Posted 8:52 am

“Here’s something from Black River Falls, Wisconsin,” Bernie says. “I think that’s near LaCrosse.” I’m no wiser. It’s Sunday, Elvis gospel is on XM/Sirius, and I’m waiting for Bernie to make sausages. He spoke of sausages last night and they’ve been on my mind ever since, but he doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to get to the stove. Instead he’s sipping coffee and tapping away at the keyboard.

“Seems like a kid fell through ice into a pond at a development called Lallapalooza Estates.” Lallapalooza Estates? Is Bernie making this up? “He had a dog with him – Sye, an Irish setter – and Sye went in after him. The kid somehow scrambled out, and then the fire department came and rescued Sye.” Whew! “Ice is dangerous, Chet. Remember that.”

Okay. But we don’t have ice here in the Valley. Or ponds. I thump my tail in a way that means: Sausages! Now!

Bernie sips his coffee, taps away at his machine.


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