Posts Tagged ‘The Dog Who Knew Too Much’

Chetspeak on Sunday

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April 23rd, 2017 Posted 7:43 am

We got off the elevator, found ourselves at the back of a court room. I’d been in court rooms before, even been exhibit A for my buddy Judge Jaramillo, down in the Valley, but never one this small. It had only two benches on either side of a narrow aisle, then two long desks, and in front of that and raised up on a dais another desk, at which Judge Stringer was sitting. He wore a black robe and looked real tired. At each of the two desks sat a group of two people, their backs to us. One of those people was Bernie. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit! This was the worst moment of my life.

– from THE DOG WHO KNEW TOO MUCH.

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Chetspeak on Super Bowl Sunday

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February 5th, 2017 Posted 7:49 am

They were talking about sports? Sports: maybe the best idea humans ever came up with, in my opinion. Back when we were on the football case, I actually got into a real game! Bernie and I were right on the sideline, on account of we had to stay close to the blackmailer – it’s all coming back to me now, love when that happens – who turned out to be the assistant coach, yes, right on the sideline, close up to the action, when a punt happened, one of those punts down deep, whatever that means, but it’s the expression Bernie uses and he really knows football – played in high school, but dropped it when he went to West Point so he could concentrate on baseball – but forget that part, the point being that on the down deep punt the receiver stays away from the ball in the hope that it goes into the end zone, wherever that is, and meanwhile the other team tries to corral the ball, and footballs bounce in a crazy way, and when I see something crazy like that –

– from THE DOG WHO KNEW TOO MUCH.

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Chetspeak on Sunday

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January 22nd, 2017 Posted 8:12 am

“No problem with that last part,” said the sheriff. “But, see, I’m the law, so what comes first is up to me. Hands out.”

Bernie shook his head.

“You resistin’ arrest?” the sheriff said.

The shotgun barrel moved again, the muzzle now pointed at Bernie’s chest. Bernie didn’t move, just sat very still on the bench. Was something real bad just about to happen? I hardly ever got that feeling, but I had it now.

“I do believe he’d dare you to squeeze that goddamn trigger, Mack,” the sheriff said, “so you’ll have to try something different.”

“Different how?” said Mack.

“Think.”

Mack thought, his face scrunching up unpleasantly. Then he swung the shotgun away from Bernie and aimed it straight at me.

“Somethin’ like this?” Mack said.

“Read my mind,” said Sheriff Laidlaw.

Bernie rose and held out his hands.

– from THE DOG WHO KNEW TOO MUCH.

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Chetspeak on Sunday

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January 8th, 2017 Posted 8:44 am

“Snow, big guy.”

Snow? I’d heard of it, of course, seen it lots of times on TV during the divorce, when for some reason Bernie had really gotten into skiing videos. The snow sent coldness up into the air. I sniffed at it. Snow went right up my nose! I sneezed. Bernie laughed. I licked at the snow. It turned into water on my tongue, although not much water. Bernie picked some up and patted it – hey! – patted it into the shape of a ball. Yes! One thing about Bernie: just when you think he’s done with amazing you, he amazes you again. Now, after all this time, I was just finding out he could turn snow into a ball.

– from THE DOG WHO KNEW TOO MUCH.

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