Posts Tagged ‘stretching’

Packin’ Iron

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June 30th, 2010 Posted 9:17 am

Admin’s upset about something, not sure what. “No surprise that the New York Times is against the Supreme Court’s Second Amendment decision this week. But how can they say it ‘disregarded the plain words of the Second Amendment’?”

“Do we really have to do this?” says Spence.

“Let’s take a look at that amendment.”

“Good grief.”

“Which says: ‘A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.’ What’s the first thing any copyeditor would do?”

“Start getting rid of commas.”

“Exactly. But evidently the founders didn’t have a good copyeditor. If they had, it would look like this:

‘A well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.’ The meaning is plain, all right, but exactly the opposite of what the Times wants. ‘A well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State’ is a subordinate clause expressing cause. In other words, because a well regulated Militia is necessary yada yada. The main clause says ‘the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.’ It doesn’t say the militias have the right to keep and bear. It’s the people. You can’t have the tail of a subordinate clause wagging the dog of the main clause.”

I opened my eyes. Tails wagging dogs? Admin hasn’t been himself lately. Poor guy. Maybe working too hard. I gave myelf a nice big stretch, the kind where my paws quiver at the end. Ah! Does it get any better than this?

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Doga?

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April 10th, 2009 Posted 7:47 am

Before anyone could move, there was another knock on the door. The blond woman backed up behind Bernie, lowering the tiny gun to her side. “Answer it,” she said. “Nothing crazy.”

I already knew who it was, from the smell. Bernie opened the door and there was Leda. Has she been on the blog yet? Leda’s Bernie’s ex-wife. Now she lives with Malcolm, who has long skinny feet and long skinny toes, and with Charlie, too, of course. Charlie’s Bernie’s kid. We miss him a lot. 

Leda has sharp eyes. They fastened on the blond woman. “I see you’re occupied,” she said to Bernie.

“It’s not what you think,” Bernie said.

Leda shrugged. “It’s your life,” she said. “I’m here to borrow Chet.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I need a dog for doga.”

“Doga?”

“Yoga for dogs. It’s the latest. We’re trying it in yoga class this morning. They’ve got these stretches for dogs.”

“You’re going to teach Chet how to stretch?” Bernie said.

Leda’s eyes narrowed. “Attitude and sarcasm – you’ll never change.”

This was getting complicated, but teach me how to stretch? I didn’t get that. I’m a great stretcher. For example, there’s the one with my butt way up in the air and my front legs out in front of me, head up. That’s a good one. I did it on the spot. It felt great!

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