Chet The Dog

Posts Tagged ‘smells’

Oscars

“What does it mean that the only two movies we actually saw,” says Spence, “The King’s Speech and The Fighter, were the big winners last night?”

“It means,” says Admin, “that we’re hip and cool.”

I open my eyes. Admin and Spence are hip and cool? Is that what I just heard? We got involved with some hipsters once, a case that all came down to a pork pie hat and whose was it. Hats, of course, smell just like whoever wears them but more so, meaning IDing the perp – happened to be a traveling graffiti artist name of Wanksy – wasn’t much of a challenge. But the point is Admin and Spence wouldn’t make you think of Wanksy in any way. Funny thing right now is how pleased with themselves Admin and Spence are looking.

RIP: Duke Snider

Welcome Dolly, Jake, Duke

Ellipsis Raises Its Ugly Head

We entered our place at Mesquite Road, me, Bernie, and Ray.

“Looks like there’s no one here,” Bernie said, sounding surprised.

I was surprised that he was surprised, on account of fresh human scent being all over the place. Actually not human scent, but the scent some humans – men in this case – spray on themselves in order to … I’m not sure what. But forget all that, or at least some of it. The point was I’d smelled that spray-on scent on two men, meaning one or both of them were here. The two men were Ratko and Foster. But wasn’t Ratko out of the parade? So that meant …

A Friendly Encounter

Some humans don’t have happy faces. Lt. Stine was one of them. Others do have happy faces. Take Bernie, for example, most of the time. Or at least some of the time. Charlie has a real happy face. So does Suzie. If humans had tails, hers would be … But forget all that. What was happening now, inside the stripped-down house in Cactus Heights, was Lt. Stine turning his unhappy face on Bernie and saying, “I hate when this happens.”

“Murder?” said Bernie.

“Not so much that. What I hate is being kept in the dark.”

“I hate that, too,” Bernie said.

“The difference,” said Lt. Stine, “is that I’m the law and you aren’t.”

That was the only difference between Bernie and Lt. Stine, whatever it was they were talking about? Whoa! There were big differences between them, starting with their smells, Bernie’s being the best human smell ever, and Lt. Stine’s being just so-so, a little too much like potatoes, if you want my opinion. And then there was the happy face thing, and how about their voices? The next thing I knew I’d sidled over to Lt. Stine and was giving his leg a kind of nudge.

“Chet?” Bernie said.

“It’s all right,” said Lt. Stine, giving me a pat. “I’ve got no issue with Chet.”

My tail started wagging. Had to like Lt. Stine, unhappy face, potato smell and all.

Getting Started

We moved through the abandoned house in Cactus Heights, side by side, which is how Bernie and I do these things even though deep down I prefer to be first. There was nothing inside except bare walls and bare floors with big holes here and there. “That’s where thieves took the wiring and the copper pipes,” Bernie said. “Like we’re living in some third world … ” His voice trailed off. Were we looking for wiring and copper thieves? We’d had a copper case once before, involving a mine and some gunplay, the rest of it pretty dim in my mind.

But meanwhile I was just following the smell. It led through a big room, down a hall, into a small room and to a closet. Bernie sniffed the air. I love when he does that! “You smell anything, Chet?” That Bernie! Who wouldn’t love him? I stood by the closet door. Open it up, Bernie, let’s get started.