Chet The Dog

Posts Tagged ‘Scents and Sensibility’

Chetspeak on Father’s Day Sunday

“Ms. Peoples is mad at dad.”

Leda’s smile started to disappear. That takes time, what with there being so much of it. “Ms. Peoples the bus driver?”

“She has a cat named Agatha.”

“Why is she mad at da – at your father?”

Charlie’s mouth opened like he was about to say something. Then he glanced at Bernie – who actually wasn’t even watching, his gaze having turned to the window, where Malcolm was just stepping back, out of view – and that little mouth closed right up.

“Charlie?” Leda said.

“Ms. Peoples thinks I’m immature,” Bernie told her.

Leda’s smile was now entirely gone. “What did you do? Forget it – I don’t even want to know.”

“He stirred the kids up!” Charlie said. Blurted: could that be the expression?

“Is that how Ms. Peoples put it?”

Charlie nodded. “She doesn’t like when we get stirred up. She likes when we sit still and think quiet thoughts.”

“Quiet thoughts?” Bernie said. “What the hell are – “

Leda gave Bernie a look I remembered from the old days and he went silent.

– from Scents and Sensibility.

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Chetspeak on Sunday

Sniff sniff sniffing gets your nostrils quivering real fast, a nice feeling, as you might not know, the human sense of smell – even in huge-nosed dudes and gals – always turning out to be shockingly weak, in my experience. Take Bernie, for example, and his lovely big nose, somewhat crooked, although he plans to get it fixed when he’s sure no more dustups are in his future, which I hope is never, on account of how satisfying it is to see that sweet uppercut of his, followed by some perp toppling limp to the floor, all set for me to grab him by the pant leg, meaning case closed, closing cases being what we do at the Little Detective Agency. Little on account of Bernie’s last name being Little. I’m Chet, pure and simple. As for Bernie’s big crooked nose: What’s it for? Just beauty? Is that enough? I tried to think about that, got as far as: Why not? Hey! Beauty was enough! And of course Bernie’s the most beautiful human I’ve ever seen. Hold onto that fact, if nothing else.

– from SCENTS AND SENSIBILITY.

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