Posts Tagged ‘Muriel Breit’

Aide-Memoire in a Complicated Case


November 17th, 2009 Posted 8:22 am

From July 16:

“Those two guys?” Bernie said. “No idea. Two actors from some old movie?”

“Not exactly,” said Muriel Breit. She’s our go-to guy when it comes to movies, have I mentioned that already? She ran the film through her machine again, real fast this time. I didn’t like that at all, in fact felt a bit pukey. But no actual puking happened. Muriel pressed a button and the film stopped, right where the two dudes – the bald guy and the one with glasses – were wrestling for the gun and the young woman was falling. She pointed her finger at the screen. Muriel’s finger was interesting – yellow at the tip and smelling strongly, strongly to me, at least, of cigarettes. I felt like shifting sideways a little and giving that finger a quick lick, and was still considering it when Muriel said:

“The bald one is Erich von Stroheim. The one with the glasses is Louis B. Mayer.”


A Distant Memory


July 23rd, 2009 Posted 10:14 am

“Here’s what I think,” said Muriel Breit: “This is footage of a real incident.”

“You mean von Stroheim and Mayer actually got so mad at each other they ended up fighting over a gun?” Bernie said.

Muriel nodded. “And that script girl or whatever she was wandered in at the wrong moment, just as the gun went off, and got killed.” She sucked in some smoke, blew it out. “Any chance you’ve come across some old bones, or a skull, in this investigation?”

“Nope,” said Bernie.

Hey! Wait a minute! Whatever a minute is, exactly, but not long, right?


Meeting in Smoky Places

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July 19th, 2009 Posted 12:14 pm

“Let’s start with Erich von Stroheim,” said Muriel Breit. By that time her office was nice and smoky from the cigarettes she and Bernie were smoking; also a bottle of bourbon had appeared. “He came from Vienna where he claimed to be from the Austrian nobility. In fact, his background was Jewish and middle class.” Jewish? What was that again? Wasn’t quite able to come up with it, but for some reason I found myself thinking of the Berkowitz divorce case, one of our very worst. We hate divorce work, me and Bernie, and we hated the Berkowitz divorce the worst. “He was one of the best directors of the silent era, and was also an actor,” Muriel said. “Ever seen Sunset Boulevard?”

“The pictures got smaller,” Bernie said.

Muriel gazed at him for a moment, then started laughing, don’t ask me why. Laughing turned to hacking. Bernie pounded on her back. “Oh, Bernie,” she said, gasping for breath – always scary when humans did that. “You’re full of surprises.”

“That’s been my downfall,” Bernie said. That made Muriel laugh again. And then more hacking. Enough. I went into another room, which turned out to be the kitchen. And what did I see on the counter?

Plus: What day is it? Elvis Gospel day!


Von Stroheim, Mayer, Murder


July 18th, 2009 Posted 7:56 am

“Know much about the movie Greed?” said Muriel Breit. She’s our go-to guy when it comes to movies, same as Otis DeWayne is our go-to guy when it comes to weapons. I always like visiting Otis, mostly on account of my buddy General Beauregard who lives there, too. We’ve had some fun times chasing rabbits, me and the General. Is that in Dog On It?

“Not as much as I’d like,” Bernie said. Or something like that. I was missing a bit of what was going on, my mind more on rabbits at the moment.

“It’s a famous silent movie,” Muriel said, offering a cigarette to Bernie. Oh, no. He was trying so hard to quit. He reached out, hesitated, then took the cigarette. Muriel struck a match and lit it for him, then lit one for herself. I liked watching all that, no idea why. But Bernie wasn’t going to be happy about this later. We’d probably go for a run in the canyon to make up for it. Love the canyon of course, but it’s not much fun watching Bernie run, on account of his wound.

He sucked in smoke, breathed it out. “Tell me all about it,” he said.

“Okay,” Muriel said. She breathed out smoke, too. Their smoke clouds met in the air.


The Books

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