Chet The Dog

Posts Tagged ‘Kelo’

What Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong

“Tell you what,” said Kelo Printz, client turned perp, “you can keep the painting.” He laid one of the film cans on the hall table. “It’s probably worth something, plus it’s kind of creepy.” Worth something. Did that make him a client again? I wasn’t sure. He opened the door and backed out, film can under one arm, gun pointed at Bernie. Backing out, so he didn’t see Iggy, standing right outside the door, wagging his stubby tail.

A Job Well Done?

“I’m feeling a little used,” Bernie said, handing both film cans over to Kelo Printz.

“Sorry about that,” Kelo said, “but take comfort in the knowledge of a job well done.”

Whoa. Did that mean we weren’t getting paid? Our finances were a mess. Wasn’t Kelo the client? He was acting like a perp.

“Why is your dog growling like that?” Kelo said.

“Because he’s about to take a chunk out of your leg, you jerk,” said Portia.

Not a bad idea! Portia was growing on me.

Tempermental Birds

“Why is Kelo a moron?” Bernie said.

Portia gave him a long look. “I want a deal.”

“Okay,” Bernie said. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“For someone who wants a deal, you’re not very helpful,” Bernie said. “Tell me this – what was the goal, getting the film or getting the painting?”

“Why would we want the painting?” said Portia. I remembered that painting, tunnels and trains, kind of scary.

“It’s probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

Down on the floor, Freddie Dancer groaned. The human groan is an interesting sound. When perps groan I always know we’re getting somewhere. Bernie peeled the duct tape off Freddie’s mouth. Or maybe it was already off, or hadn’t been on in the first place. All I remembered was something about ducks, which turn out to be a tempermental type of bird.

“Speak, Freddie,” Bernie said.

And by the way, I’m loving having all these friends.

Facts Breezing By

Yes, how did Bernie know all that? When was Metro PD coming to take all these perps away? It was crowded in our front hall, and the air was getting a little stuffy. I like nice fresh air. Also, I’d smelled all the smells available, and there were plenty rising off Trimmer alone.

In fact, Bernie seemed to be talking to Trimmer at that moment. “The whole history must have been one of those family legends, a legend your sister here let you in on – was that before or after her divorce from Kelo?”

“After,” said Trimmer.

“Zip it,” said Portia.

“Why?” said Bernie. “After just proves your marriage had something going for it at least.”

“Kelo’s a moron,” Portia said.

“How so?” said Bernie.

Or something like that. This was getting hard to follow.

Note from Admin: Great pics coming in to Friends of Chet!