Posts Tagged ‘horses’

They Shoot Horses

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March 29th, 2012 Posted 7:33 am

“What do we think about horse racing?” Spence says.

“It can be pretty exciting, right?” says Admin.

“But did you read the recent New York Times investigation piece, which unfortunately I can’t seem to link to?”

“I did not.”

“There seems to be widespread exploitation of the horses – and jockeys, too,” Spence says. “Here’s a quote: ‘A computer analysis of data from more than 150,000 races, along with injury reports, drug test results and interviews, shows an industry still mired in a culture of drugs and lax regulation and a fatal breakdown rate that remains far worse than in most of the world.’ The horses are often pumped up with performance-enhancing drugs and also pain-maskers – which seems especially horrible in my opinion. More than 3000 horses a year are put down because of racing injuries, often right there at the track. Some states are worse than others – the Times’ reporting from New Mexico was particularly damning.”

“So,” says Admin, “we’re dealing here with human greed?”

Hat tip: Lily.

Welcome two waiting dudes, Maeve, Moe, guarding dude, Rufus, playful dude, potential date.

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No Post Today

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December 23rd, 2010 Posted 7:32 am

We seem to be on an island in a warm, sunny place. Did that happen last Christmas? There’s a tiny little airport. We have to go back and forth picking people up. I ride shotgun. Roosters? Out the yingyang, and they crow all night. As for real crows, haven’t seen any yet. Also, lots of horses. There’s one right on the road!

“Chet? You’re leaning a little too far out there, buddy.”

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Stakes and Steaks, Kind of Confusing

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June 6th, 2009 Posted 8:19 am

“One other thing,” Bernie said, “since the subject of horses has come up.”

“Bernie,” said Lt. Stine. “The knife, please.”

Yes, the knife, and also what about the gold bar? Did that come after the knife? It was starting to get fuzzy.

“I’d like to hear the one more thing,” Suzie said.

“Yeah?” said Bernie, looking pleasantly surprised. “Well, it’s just that today’s the Belmont Stakes, my favorite of the Triple Crowns.” 

“Oh,” said Suzie.

“Want to know why?” Bernie said.

“Not particularly,” said Lt. Stine.

“Because it’s the longest – a mile and a half. And today’s kind of special because Calvin Borel has a chance to win the Triple Crown while riding different horses.”

“Oh,” said Suzie.

“There used to be a lot of big-time Cajun jockeys like Calvin Borel, but now they’re mostly from Latin America. Want to know why?”

“Does it matter what I want?” said Lt. Stine.

“It’s because all jockeys riding in the USA have to be 16 now. Kids still ride on bush tracks in Central America so they grow up with an advantage. Tell you what? How about we all head over to the Dry Gulch and watch on the big screen?”

“Think I’ll pass,” Lt. Stine said.

“That sounds nice,” said Suzie.

I myself was already at the door. Ever tried the steak tips at the Dry Gulch Steakhouse and Saloon? Just once and you’ll never forget.

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Horse Sense, Whatever That Means

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June 5th, 2009 Posted 7:24 am

“Before we go on,” Bernie said, “a little controversy has broken out down below.”

“Down below?” said Lt. Stine. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Horses,” Bernie said. “The usual story is that horses went extinct in North America around 13,000 BC, which just happens to be when the first humans came over the Bering land bridge. See where I’m headed with this?”

“Nope,” said Lt. Stine. I was with him. I remembered a perp named Bering who we’d put away some time ago, but he’d been in a backroom poker game when we nabbed him, not on a bridge. I yawned, a nice big one.

“But now it turns out there’s a countervailing view,” Bernie said.

Lt. Stine blinked a few times. That always tells me that the human brain is getting overloaded – yes, it can happen. “Bernie?” he said. “Can we get back to the knife?”

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