Posts Tagged ‘Hawaiian shirts’

Question From Ivy


August 29th, 2009 Posted 9:06 am

Ivy? You wanted to know about the Hawaiian pants? Maybe that’s in Dog On It, or possibly Thereby Hangs A Tail. Bernie loves Hawaiian shirts – his favorite is the one with the martini glasses – and one day he suddenly snapped his fingers – I love that sound! So clear and sharp, like a tiny branch snapping off, really one of my favorite human sounds, maybe up there with Elmore James’s slide guitar on It Hurts Me Too, which Bernie’s been playing in the car over and over lately.

But this is about Hawaiian pants, right? One day Bernie snapped his fingers and said, “Chet, I’ve got an idea that’s going to make us rich. You know how people love Hawaiian shirts? How about Hawaiian pants?” We have thousands of them now – not sure what thousands are, but a big number, like out the yingyang – in a warehouse somewhere, and also Bernie gave some to a shelter but none of the guys would wear them, not even the ones with the martini glasses. Bernie himself wore a pair to a party, just once. Our finances have never been the same.


No Iggy

1 Comment »

February 19th, 2009 Posted 8:28 am

What a case we had yesterday! It was supposed to be divorce work, which we hate, me and Bernie, but have to do on account of our finances – a mess, and just like the finances of the whole country, Bernie says, which goes right by me – but it ended up with me grabbing a perp by the pantleg. That’s how we know the case is closed. Perp by the pantleg and it’s curtains. Speaking of curtains, you can find all kinds of interesting stuff behind them. Once – and this was kind of amazing – I came across a great big T-bone. That sure surprised the mayor! Can’t remember what we were doing in the mayor’s office, exactly. It ended up with him being cuffed and taken away and we got a big check. All gone, of course. Bernie decided to invest in this company that was going to make Hawaiian pants just like Hawaiian shirts. Bernie loves Hawaiian shirts, but Hawaiian pants didn’t take off, no idea why.

Oops. This was supposed to be about how come Iggy and I don’t pal around together anymore.



Comments Off on Aloha

January 25th, 2009 Posted 2:07 pm

Bernie says a guy called Alfred Shaheen died. Maybe we’ll get to death some other time – like when we do the post for the Marley and Me movie. Was that supposed to be today? But the point is that Alfred Shaheen was a pioneer, whatever that means, of making Hawaiian shirts, and Bernie loves Hawaiian shirts. He’s got a bunch. Take away one, which got a little chewed up. Bernie doesn’t wear them every day, only on special occasions. Like when we clear a case, for example, which happened recently in this scary ghost town, name escaping me at the moment. Bernie says that Alfred Shaheen wanted his shirts to show what a melting pot Hawaii is. No clue what he’s talking about, but that one shirt with the red palm trees tasted not bad.


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