Posts Tagged ‘Greed’

They Shoot Horses


March 29th, 2012 Posted 7:33 am

“What do we think about horse racing?” Spence says.

“It can be pretty exciting, right?” says Admin.

“But did you read the recent New York Times investigation piece, which unfortunately I can’t seem to link to?”

“I did not.”

“There seems to be widespread exploitation of the horses – and jockeys, too,” Spence says. “Here’s a quote: ‘A computer analysis of data from more than 150,000 races, along with injury reports, drug test results and interviews, shows an industry still mired in a culture of drugs and lax regulation and a fatal breakdown rate that remains far worse than in most of the world.’ The horses are often pumped up with performance-enhancing drugs and also pain-maskers – which seems especially horrible in my opinion. More than 3000 horses a year are put down because of racing injuries, often right there at the track. Some states are worse than others – the Times’ reporting from New Mexico was particularly damning.”

“So,” says Admin, “we’re dealing here with human greed?”

Hat tip: Lily.

Welcome two waiting dudes, Maeve, Moe, guarding dude, Rufus, playful dude, potential date.


The General


October 20th, 2009 Posted 8:05 am

“So,” said Lt. Stine, “what are the charges on this bunch?”

Bernie gazed at them: Kelo, Portia, Trimmer, Freddie Dancer. “That’s a tough one,” he said. “Ever heard of the movie, Greed?”


“It was this old silent movie.”

“Silent movie?” said a very young-looking cop.

“Yeah,” Bernie said. “You know, like Buster Keaton.”

“Who’s he?” said the lieutenant.

“You’ve never seen The General?” Bernie said.

“What’s that?”

“One of the funniest movies ever made,” Bernie said. “And one of the best about the Civil War, besides. It starts with this scene where the Buster Keaton character, returning to his – “

But I missed whatever came next on account of Iggy suddenly popping up and taking off in the direction of something shiny in the distance. I took off, too. Was I about to let him get there first? No way.


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Posted in Chet The Dog

A Nice Breeze


June 26th, 2009 Posted 9:14 am

Ezra Printz? The name was kind of vague in my mind. I was already giving up on trying to remember when Bernie said, “Sometimes it helps to go over the facts. Ezra Printz – Hollywood flack who worked on the Greed shoot, notorious silent film that ended in bitter conflict between the director, Erich von Stroheim, and the producer, Louis B. Mayer – was the great-grandfather of our client, Kelo Printz, a client now missing, in fact, abducted.” Uh-oh. That all went by way too fast. “Remember that ransom call?” I tried and tried. “And what was the ransom demand?” Bernie went on. “A can of film.” He held it up. It sparkled in the sun, a lovely sight. I felt a current of air stirring in the box canyon from somewhere behind me, and not long after realized it was my tail. We were on the job, me and Bernie.


A Short But Very Important Break


May 11th, 2009 Posted 7:37 am

“Here’s the problem,” Bernie said. “Kelo Printz has been kidnapped. The kidnappers want the film in exchange – I’m talking about the lost film from the Greed shoot. We found the can – that was all you, Chet – ” My tail started wagging. I hadn’t been aware of that stack of mail behind me on the desk. As we were cleaning all that up, Bernie paused, a little piece of paper in his hand. “What’s this? The two-for-one coupon from Max’s Memphis Ribs? I’ve been looking all over for it. How about a short break for ribs?”

Max’s Memphis Ribs? The best! First, there’s the meat, and after that you’ve still got the bone! 

“Easy, big guy.”

Oops. The mail was scattered all over the floor again.

Spencer Quinn will be online at Barnes and Noble Center Stage all this week:


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Posted in Chet The Dog

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