Posts Tagged ‘Fritzie Bortz’

What’s In A Name?

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June 15th, 2016 Posted 8:21 am

Mrs. Publicist: Fifteenth of the month, and therefore time for What’s In A Name, where Spence discusses a character name from the Chet and Bernie series. How about we do Fritzie Bortz, the motorcycle cop who has a recurring role?

Spencer Quinn: Sure! Fritzie is one of those characters I love to write. He has an unsure grip on reality, as though the signal comes and goes. Also he’s not very good on a bike.

Mrs. P: I notice there are Z’s in both his first and last names.

SQ: Exactly! Love those Z’s! Only three syllables, but it’s like a tiny sound poem – or some quick lick a drummer might play.

Mrs. P: How did you think it up?

SQ: It just popped into my head. Names often come to me like that, even when I’m not writing anything.

Mrs. P: How about right this second?

SQ: Irwin Kirby.

Mrs. P: Thanks, Spence! See you next month for more of What’s In A Name!

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Chetspeak On Sunday

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March 22nd, 2015 Posted 7:56 am

And then we were off, out of our neighborhood, up onto the freeway, into the passing lane. Vroom! I sank against the back rest.

“This baby can fly!” Bernie said.

Or something like that, his voice drowned out by a siren. Then a motorcycle came whizzing up beside us, blue lights flashing, and we pulled over. But no problem: it was Fritzie Bortz, an old pal. He got off the bike, not without some trouble – Fritzie was a terrible motorcycle driver with lots of crashes on his record – and came up to Bernie’s side.

“Hey!” he said. “Bernie!”

“Hi, Fritzie.”

“And Chet – lookin’ good, Chet.”

So nice to see Fritzie. My tail started wagging.

“How’re things?” Fritzie said.

“No complaints,” said Bernie.

“New wheels?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Cool. Love those martini glasses – wouldn’t have bothered pulling you over otherwise. I was actually on my way home – haven’t had a day off since last Tuesday.”

“No one’s ever said you’re not a hard worker.”

“Thanks, Bernie. I do what I can.” Then he took out his ticket book, flipped a page, reached behind his ear for a pen.

“Fritzie? What are you doing?”

“Writing you up,” Fritzie said. “Might even make my quota on this – I had you at one-oh-three.”

– from A Fistful Of Collars

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Our Pal Fritzie Bortz: From A Fistful Of Collars

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September 28th, 2012 Posted 10:47 am

“This baby can fly!” Bernie said.

Or something like that, his voice drowned out by a siren. Then a motorcycle came whizzing up beside us, blue lights flashing, and we pulled over. But no problem: it was Fritzie Bortz, an old pal. He got off the bike, not without some trouble—Fritzie was a terrible motorcycle driver with lots of crashes on his record—and came up to Bernie’s side.

“Hey!” he said. “Bernie!”

“Hi, Fritzie.”

“And Chet—lookin’ good, Chet.”

So nice to see Fritzie. My tail started wagging.

“How’re things?” Fritzie said.

“No complaints,” said Bernie.

“New wheels?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Cool. Love those martini glasses—wouldn’t have bothered pulling you over otherwise. I was actually on my way home—haven’t had a day off since last Tuesday.”

“No one’s ever said you’re not a hard worker.”

“Thanks, Bernie. I do what I can.” Then he took out his ticket book, flipped a page, reached behind his ear for a pen.

“Fritzie? What are you doing?”

“Writing you up,” Fritzie said. “Might even make my quota on this—I had you at one-oh-three.”

Welcome Lily.

And belated happy birthday to C. Hobbit.

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