Posts Tagged ‘frisbees’

Prof: From Thereby Hangs A Tail

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March 13th, 2010 Posted 9:25 am

We drove to the college. We had experts for this and that, me and Bernie, Otis DeWayne, for example, for weapons. The professor – he had a long complicated name that I’d never gotten clear but it didn’t matter since Bernie just called him Prof – was our expert for money. Not making money – humans with lots of money have a certain way about them, hard to describe, and Prof didn’t have it – but everything else about money, which was what, exactly? What was important about money except making it? Couldn’t tell you.

The college was close to downtown, but didn’t look like downtown, which was all towers and nobody on the streets. It had old buildings with tile roofs and lots of trees and grass, and humans, most of them young, all over the place, walking, sitting, just lying around or even – hey! – playing Frisbee!

“Wow. See what that dog just did?”

“Chet? Can you give the Frisbee back please?”

“Is that your dog?”

“We’re more of a team.”

“I can’t believe he jumped that high. He should be on TV.”

“Don’t give him ideas. Chet? The Frisbee, please?”

I gave back the Frisbee, except for the tiniest little piece that seemed to have been chewed off. Couldn’t beat our place on Mesquite Road, but if we ever had to live someplace else, me and Bernie, here at the college would be nice. College kids were the greatest.

Prof had a couch in his office. He was lying on it when we came in, his hands folded over his big round stomach. “Hi, guys,” he said. “Just contemplating a little aperçu of Marx’s.”

Prof was brilliant – did I mention that? I caught the “hi guys” part and that was it.

“Which is?” said Bernie.

“’The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.’”

Prof: impossible to understand, but, big surprise, I came so close to getting that.

“Like it?” Prof said.

“Yes,” said Bernie.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if Marx turned out to be right after all?” Prof went on. “About everything, that is? I’m not saying tomorrow or the next day, but later, say two or three hundred years from now.”

“My sense of humor doesn’t stretch that far,” Bernie said.

Prof laughed. “Working on anything interesting?”

“Kidnapping,” Bernie said.

“Ah,” said Prof, “the life of action.” That I got completely. The life of action: what could be better?

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RIP Fred Morrison

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February 13th, 2010 Posted 8:50 am

“Hey,” Bernie says, looking up from the paper, “Fred Morrison died. He’s the guy who invented the Frisbee.”

That got my attention. Frisbees are amazing. I love how they just go and go! I go and go right after them – and Bernie, on account of his great arm, can zing them a long long way. Once he zinged one a long long way and I was chasing it down – just zooming! – when another Frisbee came into the picture going a different way, and somehow that was the one I ended up snagging. The guy who’d thrown it – he was showing off for his girlfriend – turned out to be Boodles Calhoun, a perp wanted in three states, so we got to keep that Frisbee too. We’ve still got it!

Anyway, Frisbees are great! Thanks, Fred.

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Joe College

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November 8th, 2009 Posted 9:35 am

Were we having fun – the college kids and me – or what? I had the Frisbee and they were pretending they wanted it back and I was pretending I wasn’t going to give it to them. Do you know that game? It’s one of the best! The college kids – we were downtown, near the college, on some job I couldn’t remember at the moment – would come chasing after me, and I’d romp around a bit and then turn and come up to one of them, real slow, the Frisbee in my mouth, right there for the taking. And then the college kid would reach out and I wouldn’t move a muscle, and the college kid would think that this time he was really going to get it, and then at the last possible instant I’d do that little shake-and-bake move and away I’d go! I can keep this up all day. Humans are great – and college kids are especially great – but they’re really not all that quick. No offense.

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On a Mission

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November 7th, 2009 Posted 8:30 am

We were playing fetch, me and Bernie, when the DNA results came in, at least I think that’s what happened. Bernie threw a tennis ball way down Mesquite Road and I took off after it. I heard Iggy – back inside now at his window – going yip-yip-yip. The ball was still bouncing when I snared it and then wheeled around and raced back, dropping it at Bernie’s feet. But he was distracted, as humans often are, talking on the cellphone.

Soon we hopped in the car and headed for Addie’s place. She had an apartment downtown, near the college. I love the college kids, have I mentioned that already? They’ve always got time for fun. I snatched a Frisbee right out of midair as I got out of the car. Hadn’t had quite enough fetch, that was the problem.

“Hey, mister, do you think you could get your dog to, uh …”

“Chet?”

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The Books



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