Posts Tagged ‘football’

Football (More)


February 4th, 2022 Posted 7:55 am

Mrs. Publicist: What do you think of the new name for the Washington Football Team?

Pete: Commanders? Isn’t it a bit on the bland side? Why didn’t they push it a little farther and go with Commandos?

Mrs. Publicist: Too aggressive?

Pete: Maybe you’re onto something. Football could go the other way, sandbagging the opposition with names like … like Sloths.

Mrs. Publicist: Sloths?

Pete: “Sloths, second and eight on their own twenty … the play clock is winding down.”


Football (More)


January 29th, 2022 Posted 8:18 am

Another big football weekend. Here’s a little more football from Heart of Barkness:

We walked onto the field, mostly dirt with tufts of grass here and there. Coach Flowers had moved out from between the two rows of players, now stood to the side. We stopped nearby. Coach Flowers put the whistle in his mouth, sort of nudging the stogie to one side, and talked around them.

“On the whistle, potato heads. Not before, not after. All set?”

He blew the whistle, a sound I hate, but at least I’d known it was coming. The two rows charged each other, thumping together with lots of grunts and shouts, none of the shouts actual words, more like the kind of noise you hear on Animal Planet. The kids finished knocking each other around, picked themselves up, dusted themselves off.

“What the heck?” said Coach Flowers. Or something like that – he wasn’t easy to understand with the whistle and stogie in his mouth. “Call that hitting? Don’t look like hitting to me. Looked like hugging your sister.”

One of the kids said, “I’m a sister, coach.”

Coach Flowers turned to her. “Did I ask for your opinion, Taneeka?”

“Not yet, coach.”

“Take a lap.”




January 22nd, 2022 Posted 8:09 am

This is a big football weekend. Football comes up in my work from time to time, going all the way back to Hard  Rain, and it’s central to the plot of Reality Check (my YA novel that won an Edgar award). But there’s some in the Chet and Bernie series as well. This is from Heart of Barkness and I’ll post another snippet, a bit longer, next Saturday:

We kept running. And what a nice sight – Bernie was running as fast as I’d ever seen him. Which isn’t at all fast, not even for a human, probably on account of his leg wound in the war, but it made me so happy to see him back to running not fast. As for me and my running, let’s put it this way: I was delighted that the dart player turned out to be one of those humans who could really motor, especially after his flip flops flew off. Why hadn’t he gone into football or track instead of robbery? I wondered about that as I loped along behind him, trying not to catch up too soon and spoil the fun.


Ready For Some Football?


January 14th, 2022 Posted 8:18 am

Lots of football coming up this weekend, including a Saturday night game in Buffalo where the temp will be around zero. Will there be bare-chested dudes in the stands? Count on it!

Football comes up now and then in the Chet and Bernie series. This is from Heart of Barkness:

“What are we going to do if Charlie wants to play football?” Bernie said.

Buy him a football: that was my only idea. I was thinking about the big problem with football – namely the unwieldiness of the ball, which you need to deflate a bit to get it properly in your mouth – when we pulled into one of the playing field complexes we have in the Valley, not the fancy kind with the unreal grass and shady trees, but the other kind with mostly no grass and no trees. Out on the fields, kids – some little, some not quite as little – were practicing football. Practicing means the coaches are out on the field yelling things. In games, the coaches yell from the sidelines.

“Any chance you’d prefer to stay in the car?” Bernie said. “Maybe grab a few zzzs?”

What was that? Something about the car? I was already some distance away and had missed most of it.


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