Chet The Dog

Posts Tagged ‘flow chart’

Calvin Today, Hobbes Tomorrow

“You know the way you can be studying a flow chart,” Spence says, “and then all of a sudden you get this irresistible desire to find out all about the history of flow charts?”

“Yeah, I know that one,” says Admin. “That’s how work doesn’t get done. It’s the opposite of what made this country great.”

“The Calvinist side of you! How refreshing.”

“All right, all right. What did you find out?”

“Flow charts,” says Spence, “or something called flow process charts, were first introduced by Frank Gilbreth in 1921. He was one of  the time motion guys, probably also responsible for all the repetitive stress injuries that came after.”

“My elbow?” says Admin.

“Your elbow,” says Spence, “is due to your insistence on still using that stupid kick serve. It doesn’t fool anybody anyway. Gilbreth was also the father in the original real life Cheaper By The Dozen family.”

“You mean the flow chart guy ended up being played by Steve Martin?”

“Kind of fits, in my opinion.”

No Post Today

Why not? Because Spence is busy studying flow charts. But does that mean we can’t have a tiny little taste from The Dog Who Knew Too Much? Kind of early, but …

“I’m offering you a job,” Georgie said. He looked over at me. “You and Chet, of course.”

“You mean you want to subcontract a case out to us?” Bernie said.

“Nope,” said Georgie. “I’m talking about a real permanent-type job, assistant VP Operations, Malhouf International Investigations, eighty-five K to start, plus benefits and two weeks paid vacation.”

Bernie shook his head, a very quick side-to-side. Charlie – that’s Bernie’s kid, who we don’t see nearly enough since the divorce – has the exact same headshake. All of a sudden Bernie looked younger.

Georgie sat back in his chair. His eyes, dark to begin with, darkened some more. “Not even going to think about it?” he said.

“I appreciate the offer,” Bernie said. “But it wouldn’t be a good fit.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Georgie said.

“See?” said Bernie, and he laughed.

Bernie has a great laugh, so much fun to listen to the way it comes from deep down, but Georgie didn’t seem to be enjoying it. “Always considered you a serious individual, Bern,” he said. “Must be some reason you’re not taking me seriously.”

Bernie shrugged.

Georgie leaned forward. “I do my research. That means I know what you’ve been making. Or not making, to put it more accurately. Christ, I know about the tin futures. And even the goddamn pants. What else? You’re late on your kid’s tuition and you’re upside down on your house.”

Upside down on our house? I gave up on understanding Georgie.

Faint Memories

Colonel Bob’s on speaker. Hey! That reminds me of something. Not just all the fun we had – those pilots sure know how to have fun: is that in Thereby Hangs A Tail? But something else, something about …

“Just wondering how we’re doing, Bernie?” he says.

Bernie rubs his chin. He hasn’t shaved in a day or two, so his hand makes a rasping sound. I like that sound but prefer when Bernie shaves. Never liked beards, and besides we have to look professional in this business. We’re partners in the Little Detective Agency, me and Bernie. I do my best to look professional. Janie’s my groomer, the best groomer in the whole Valley. She has a great business with a great business plan: Janie’s Pet Grooming Service – We Pick Up and Deliver.

“I’m talking about Astrid,” Colonel Bob says.

“Yeah,” says Bernie. “Maybe we should meet.”

“Dry Gulch?” says Colonel Bob. “In an hour?”

“Okay.” Bernie hangs up and turns to me. “Where’s that damn flow chart?”

Flow chart? A faint memory rises in my mind, kind of like that fish I once saw in the canal. We have a canal here in the Valley – have I mentioned that already? And then, just like that fish, the faint memory sinks back down, out of sight. I don’t let it bother me.

No Post Today

“Apparently,” says Admin, “Spence got a haircut on the way to the airport. Wonder how he did that?”

No idea. I want to get back to the Astrid case. The details are not too clear in my mind.

“Guess I’ll study this flow chart for a while,” Admin says. 

Hey! I get the crazy idea that maybe Admin and I have something in common. It fades quickly. I go back to feeling tip-top.