Posts Tagged ‘finances’

Puts And Calls And Us


April 26th, 2011 Posted 8:19 am

Bernie’s still sleeping. Late night at the Dry Gulch Steakhouse and Saloon, pretty much our go-to place for kicking back. Can’t miss it with that huge wooden cowboy out front. And the sight of that wooden cowboy all of a sudden, meaning I knew where I was! What a moment. But that’s in The Dog Who Knew Too Much. Last night was more normal. A dude in a checked jacket was talking about the economy, whatever that is. Turns out the price of copper – one of the easiest smells there is, some humans can even pick it up – is a real good indicator of what’s going to happen with the economy. And guess what. There’s such a thing as copper futures. Then came a bit of a surprise: the checked-jacket dude knew how to hook us up with some copper futures. Did Bernie reach for the check book? Yes. Lots of times he ends up patting his pockets and realizing he left the check book at home.

But not last night.

Welcome Lady, Bandit, Spanna, Molly.

Friend of the Month coming soon!




February 8th, 2011 Posted 8:11 am

I like to watch Bernie shave. All that lather on his face: that used to get me going but now I’ve got it under control, pretty much. Sometimes when Bernie’s shaving he gets this look in his eye and says things that are not so easy to understand. Like today:

“Know something, Chet? If I ever start that microbrewing company, I’ll call the beer Nagila. That way the jingle’s already done, just waiting for the product.” Huh? Not the microbrewing idea again? Then he starts singing, “Have a Nagila, have a Nagila.”

I don’t get it, but didn’t he look into the start-up costs and say it was too risky? Our finances!


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Posted in Chet The Dog



May 5th, 2010 Posted 9:00 am

“So,” said Bernie, “to what do we owe the pleasure of this non-visit?” We’re partners, me and Bernie, but sometimes he loses me completely. But Foster didn’t look lost at all.

“You’re a funny guy,” he said. “Any money in this job of yours?”

“We get by,” Bernie said. Meaning what, exactly? Our finances were a mess! That earthquake that turned out to be in the wrong place, Hawaiian pants – anyone out there want to buy a pair, by the way? – and other slip-ups I couldn’t remember at the moment meant our cash flow was bad. Cash flow! Just once I’d like to see that, like a green river. Where was that green river of flowing cash? Why weren’t we out there searching for it 24/7, whatever that happened to mean? Numbers: a very big subject, maybe for another time, but why isn’t two enough?

” … the point being,” Foster was saying, “that at the time I thought her name really was Ethel.”

Bernie gave Foster a long look. I wondered what was going on.

Saturday at 11, PA on a mystery panel at the Danvers Literary Festival:



February 16th, 2010 Posted 8:21 am

Rich? Did someone down at the bottom say something about us being rich? Our finances are a mess! First there were the Hawaiian pants. Bernie doesn’t understand why they didn’t sell like hotcakes, whatever those might be. Instead we’ve got them out the yingyang in our self-storage. And don’t forget that Leda owns half the business. Leda’s Bernie’s ex, for anybody who hasn’t read Dog On It or Thereby Hangs A Tail. As for the tin futures – how that worked out is in book three. Also we meet some unhappy people in this job, and Bernie doesn’t always charge them full price. Bernie, I think every time, full price! Please!

Last night we watched Westminster. The nation within the nation on parade, Bernie said. Anyone else catch the show?

But I’ve got a nagging feeling this post was supposed to be about something else. Maybe if I just stay here it will come to me.

It didn’t.


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