Posts Tagged ‘fake ID’

Ruff Vs. Fluff: The First Paragraph

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November 26th, 2018 Posted 8:16 am

(Coming in March; middle-grade but available to adults with fake ID; fake ID happily supplied here – just send $1000 in small unmarked bills. Have a nice day!)

Chapter One: Queenie

I have the most beautiful voice. I use it to say just one thing: Me-ow! Have you ever heard anything so lovely? And it starts with “me”! How great is that? I love starting with me. In fact, I have no time for anything that doesn’t start with me and keep on going with me right until it ends, with me. Me – or actually ME – is how I think of myself, but you can call me Queenie, like all the other humans. Call me Queenie – but don’t expect me to come, or perform some stupid trick, or pay the slightest attention to you. You have my permission to look at me all you want. I don’t blame you. I’m a thing of beauty.

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No Post Today

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November 13th, 2018 Posted 8:44 am

Deadline looming! But how about tomorrow we post the first sentence – or maybe 2! – of RUFF VS. FLUFF, #1 in the new Queenie and Arthur middle grade series, coming in March. (Available for adults with fake ID. If you need fake ID please send SASE $1000 in small bills to me at your convenience.)

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What’s In A Name?

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July 19th, 2018 Posted 9:48 am

Mrs. Publicist: Whoa! Past the time in the month where Peter Abrahams (aka Spencer Quinn) and I discuss a character name from one of his novels. How about Queenie, who handles half the narration of RUFF VS. FLUFF, first in the new Queenie and Arthur middle-grade series?

Pete: First, may I say adults with fake ID can also read the series, coming in March 2019? For fake ID, please contact the appropriate bot. As for Queenie’s name: Every morning she sips up some fresh cream from a white, gold-bordered China saucer (served by Bertha, the cook at the struggling Blackberry Hill Inn in Vermont). What else to call her but Queenie? The name was the very first thing that came to me when I began dreaming up the series.

Mrs. P: Is it true that one day there’s a bit of a problem with the cream?

Pete: Shh! That’s in book 2. We’re not there yet.

Mrs. P: Thanks, Pete! See you next month for another edition of What’s In A Name. Maybe a character from THE RIGHT SIDE? Goody, perhaps?

Pete: Perhaps!

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BOW WOW: Sneak Peek

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May 2nd, 2017 Posted 8:32 am

(Coming in 28 days. This is from page one. BOW WOW is 3rd in the Bowser and Birdie middle-school series. Adults can read them, but fake ID required.)

The humans in our family all turned to me: Birdie, Mama, Grammy. “What the heck is that blasted barking about?” Grammy said.

Someone was barking? I listened my hardest, heard no barking. This was a strange day already and it had hardly even started.

“Maybe he’s upset that you’re leaving, Mama,” Birdie said.

Mama bent down, gave me a pat. “Is that it, Bowser? Upset that I’m leaving?”

“Bull puckey,” said Grammy. “How would he even know you’re leaving?”

Whoa! Mistakes were going by so fast I could hardly keep up.

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