Posts Tagged ‘fake ID’

Coming March 26!

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February 5th, 2019 Posted 8:33 am

Middle-grade, but available to adults with fake ID. (For fake ID please send $1000 in small bills.)

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Publishing Schedule (1)

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January 22nd, 2019 Posted 8:23 am

RUFF VS. FLUFF, first in the new Queenie and Arthur series (middle-grade but preorderable for adults with fake ID) comes out March 26. Here’s how it starts:

I have the most beautiful voice. I use it to say just one thing: Me-ow! Have you ever heard anything so lovely? And it starts with “me”! How great is that? I love starting with me. In fact, I have no time for anything that doesn’t start with me and keep on going with me right until it ends, with me. Me – or actually ME – is how I think of myself, but you can call me Queenie, like all the other humans. Call me Queenie – but don’t expect me to come, or perform some stupid trick, or pay the slightest attention to you. You have my permission to look at me all you want. I don’t blame you. I’m a thing of beauty.

Probably this is a good moment to describe myself. Where to even start? With my tail? Kind of cool, starting at the end. And I’m cool, no doubt about that. Mom always says, “That Queenie is one cool cat.” Not my mom, who I really don’t remember, but the kids’s mom, who has another name I can’t be bothered to come up with at the moment, and anyway she’s just Mom around these parts.

These parts are what humans call snow country, although we didn’t have any snow yet and it was getting close to Christmas. I knew it was close to Christmas because Elrod hauled a big tree into the Big Room and after a lot of grunting and fumbling around plus muttered words that won’t be repeated here, got it set up in front of the fireplace. I myself was watching this performance from one of my favorite spots, namely on the top shelf of the book case in the corner. Books can be quite comfortable. Were you aware of that already? What do humans actually know? I’m afraid the true answer might disappoint.

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Ruff Vs. Fluff: The First Paragraph

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November 26th, 2018 Posted 8:16 am

(Coming in March; middle-grade but available to adults with fake ID; fake ID happily supplied here – just send $1000 in small unmarked bills. Have a nice day!)

Chapter One: Queenie

I have the most beautiful voice. I use it to say just one thing: Me-ow! Have you ever heard anything so lovely? And it starts with “me”! How great is that? I love starting with me. In fact, I have no time for anything that doesn’t start with me and keep on going with me right until it ends, with me. Me – or actually ME – is how I think of myself, but you can call me Queenie, like all the other humans. Call me Queenie – but don’t expect me to come, or perform some stupid trick, or pay the slightest attention to you. You have my permission to look at me all you want. I don’t blame you. I’m a thing of beauty.

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No Post Today

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November 13th, 2018 Posted 8:44 am

Deadline looming! But how about tomorrow we post the first sentence – or maybe 2! – of RUFF VS. FLUFF, #1 in the new Queenie and Arthur middle grade series, coming in March. (Available for adults with fake ID. If you need fake ID please send SASE $1000 in small bills to me at your convenience.)

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The Books



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