Posts Tagged ‘Dog On It’



November 22nd, 2022 Posted 7:27 am

Thanksgiving comes up from time to time in the Chet and Bernie series. Here, from Dog On It, is what I believe is the first mention.

A guy with big shoulders and a gun on his hip led us across vast green lawns to a huge swimming pool. On a deck chair by the pool lay a fat old man in a tiny bathing suit. His skin was oiled and deeply tanned, just about the color and texture of a turkey Leda had left too long in the oven one Thanksgiving. I tried not to look.





October 29th, 2022 Posted 8:53 am

The very first mention of Halloween in the Chet and Bernie series:

“Don’t you want money?” Make-up was smeared in tracks down Cynthia’s face, black and green, like a scary mask on Halloween, the very worst of all human holidays. For some reason I started to like her.

“We’re still on the five hundred,” said Bernie. “I’ll let you know if I need more.”

Oh, Bernie.


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Posted in Chet The Dog

Cap’n Crunch


March 29th, 2022 Posted 6:57 am

Parrots came up yesterday, bringing to mind Cap’n Crunch, who plays a supporting role in Dog On It:

“He said, ‘Madison rocks.’ She taught him. He can say other things, too.”

Whoa. Cynthia was claiming that he – this beady-eyed inmate – could talk? I didn’t buy it.

“His name’s Cap’n Crunch.”

Cap’n Crunch bobbed his head back and forth, an ugly, lizard-like motion, and made the horrible croaking noise again. It ended in a high-pitched squeak that hurt my ears. One glance at Bernie and I knew he wasn’t hearing that squeak. Bernie missed some things, true, but you had to admire him: he never let his handicaps get him down.

“What else can he say?”

Oh, Bernie, please.

Cynthia approached the cage. “Come on, baby.”

Squawk squawk.

“Hear that?”


“’Light my fire.’ He said, ‘Light my fire’ when I said ‘Come on baby.’”



Honky Tonk Parrot


March 28th, 2022 Posted 7:17 am

Cap’n Crunch, the parrot who says, “Make it a double,” plays a role in Dog On It, the first Chet and Bernie novel. That’s the remote connection to today’s post – with many thanks to my friend Bob.




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