Chet The Dog

Posts Tagged ‘Colonel Bob’

The Fun Party

Ray read what Bernie had written on the cocktail napkin. Then, kind of mumbly, he said, “I want you to come with me.”

Bernie glanced at Ray’s chest where the wire was concealed behind his shirt. “Didn’t quite hear you,” he said. “Can you speak up a bit?” Bernie had a look on his face like he was having fun. Was this a time for that? Not that I’m against fun. I’m for it, big-time. Once we had an election for mayor of the Valley, and a dude we knew ran on the Fun Party ticket. He got Bernie’s vote, and maybe one or two more.

Ray spoke louder. “I want you to come with me.”

“Yeah?” said Bernie. “Where?”

“My dad wants to see you.”

“I figured that,” said Bernie. “But where?”

Ray glanced around the bar. We were at Dry Gulch, in case I forgot to point that out. He looked scared. “Maybe better if I just guide you to the place.”

“Better for who?” said Bernie.

So Close To Steak Tips

So there we were at the Dry Gulch, me, Bernie and Ray. Colonel Bob was supposed to meet us but where was he? Also Ray was wearing a wire. How come? Those were two problems. There were probably more but I don’t go past two. Once we were at a party down at the college – love college kids! the fun they have! who wouldn’t want to go to college and stay forever? – and this math professor had too much to drink. All of a sudden he started crying. “What if nothing important is quantifiable?” he said. Bernie patted him on the back and called a cab.

But right now he was putting his finger across his lips, human sign language for zip it. Then he reached for a cocktail napkin,wrote something on it and held it so Ray could see. Ray nodded, a little nod. He was real scared. I could smell it. I could also smell steak tips just about done in the kitchen, but this probably wasn’t the time.

Dry Gulch (More)

Ray came over to where we were sitting. Human fear has a smell and I was smelling it big time.

“What are you doing here, Ray?” Bernie said.

“My … dad sent me.”

“Colonel Bob?”

Ray nodded.

“I thought you weren’t on speaking terms,” Bernie said.

Ray shrugged. That’s a human thing I always watch for. It can mean a few things, usually not good.

“When’s he coming here?” Bernie said.

“That’s the thing – he got … tied up temporarily. He’d like it if you came to him.”

Bernie gave Ray a long look. “Where’s that?” he said.

“I can show you.”

Bernie nodded. Then he did something surprising: He reached out and unbuttoned the top buttons of Ray’s shirt. I’d seen wires before: that’s basic in this business. Ray was wearing one.

Dry Gulch (More)

I was just finishing the steak tips – best I’d ever had, at least since the last time – when Bernie glanced over at the archway that led from the main part of the restaurant to the patio. Humans get this look of surprise sometimes, their eyebrows going up and all of a sudden looking younger than they are, and Bernie had that look now. A guy was coming toward us, but not Colonel Bob, who was the guy we were expecting, unless I’d gotten it wrong. And that can happen. Take in that warehouse down in Mexico, when I’d expected Peanut to pull up in front of that metal roll-up door and come to a stop. Was I wrong about that or what? That’s in To Fetch A Thief unless I’m wrong about that, too.

But forget all that. The point is the guy coming toward us was not Colonel Bob, although he looked kind of like a younger version. Hey! It was Ray.

Happy Birthday, Rosie! And many many more.