Posts Tagged ‘college kids’



December 15th, 2010 Posted 8:32 am

“Here’s something you might enjoy, Chet,” Bernie says. “Tufts University – kind of far from here, now that I think of it, and maybe pretty cold right now – is bringing in therapy dogs to lower the college kids’ stress levels at exam time.”

Stress? Not sure what that is, but college kids? Love ’em! What a life they have! I know because sometimes we visit Valley College downtown to look in on Prof. He’s our money expert – we have experts on everything, part of our business plan – and once he told us about this dude name of Marx, possibly a perp, in which case watch your back, amigo, who said ‘The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people,’ something Bernie brought up at a party the other day but no one listened; but forget all that, and anyway it might be in Thereby Hangs A Tail. The point is if I had to be human, no offense, I’d want to be a college student. Frisbees! Beer! Sleeping in till all hours! Calling home for more money! Hooking up! (Whatever that may be.) College kids are ready for fun 24/7. Me too!


So Close To Steak Tips


November 1st, 2010 Posted 10:01 am

So there we were at the Dry Gulch, me, Bernie and Ray. Colonel Bob was supposed to meet us but where was he? Also Ray was wearing a wire. How come? Those were two problems. There were probably more but I don’t go past two. Once we were at a party down at the college – love college kids! the fun they have! who wouldn’t want to go to college and stay forever? – and this math professor had too much to drink. All of a sudden he started crying. “What if nothing important is quantifiable?” he said. Bernie patted him on the back and called a cab.

But right now he was putting his finger across his lips, human sign language for zip it. Then he reached for a cocktail napkin,wrote something on it and held it so Ray could see. Ray nodded, a little nod. He was real scared. I could smell it. I could also smell steak tips just about done in the kitchen, but this probably wasn’t the time.


Joe College


November 8th, 2009 Posted 9:35 am

Were we having fun – the college kids and me – or what? I had the Frisbee and they were pretending they wanted it back and I was pretending I wasn’t going to give it to them. Do you know that game? It’s one of the best! The college kids – we were downtown, near the college, on some job I couldn’t remember at the moment – would come chasing after me, and I’d romp around a bit and then turn and come up to one of them, real slow, the Frisbee in my mouth, right there for the taking. And then the college kid would reach out and I wouldn’t move a muscle, and the college kid would think that this time he was really going to get it, and then at the last possible instant I’d do that little shake-and-bake move and away I’d go! I can keep this up all day. Humans are great – and college kids are especially great – but they’re really not all that quick. No offense.


Higher Education


October 27th, 2009 Posted 9:09 am

We met the great granddaughter of Addie Kline at an outdoor cafe near downtown, actually in the college area. College kids are great! They’re always hanging out, having fun, playing Frisbee, and they have lots of time for me and my kind. The great granddaughter of Addie Kline was also named Addie, kind of confusing, Addie something or other. She looked young enough to be a college student herself.

“I read Suzie Sanchez’s story in the Tribune,” she said. “There was something about a mystery on the Greed set. My great grandmother’s twin Betty was a script girl on that shoot. She went for a hike and never came back.”

“A hike?” said Bernie.

And maybe he added more, but at that moment a Frisbee came gliding by, so tempting.


The Books

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