Posts Tagged ‘Chetspeak’

Chetspeak on Sunday

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May 28th, 2017 Posted 9:13 am

“ … puppy I was telling you about?” Mr. Parsons was saying.

“The one you saw in the canyon?” Bernie said.

“Exactly,” said Mr. Parsons. “Spotted the little fella again this afternoon. Even managed to snap a picture of him on my cell phone – first time I got the damn thing to work.”

“Soon you’ll be uploading to the cloud,” Bernie said.

Mr. Parsons gave Bernie a quick look, then nodded. “That’s true,” he said. “And except for how I’ll miss Mrs. Parsons, I’m ready. I’ve had a good life.”

“No, no, no,” Bernie said. “I meant – “

– from A FISTFUL OF COLLARS.

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Chetspeak on Sunday

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May 21st, 2017 Posted 7:57 am

I smelled burned air, the kind of burned air that meant – BOOM! And there it was: thunder. Panting sounds started up right away.

“Easy, big guy,” Bernie said.

The panting? Me? Probably had to be me. Bernie wasn’t

panting the least bit – he hardly ever did, just maybe sometimes when we were hiking in steep country – and no one else was around, except for a few dudes sitting on their front steps, one or two drinking out of paper bags. “It’s only thunder,” he said.

The thunder wasn’t what bothered me. What bothered me was that burned air smell.

“Now you’re barking? What’s with you? Put a lid on it.”

Nothing. Nothing was with me. Lid was what again? I shut myself up, or at least amped down to a low growl. There’s only so much I can do. Hey! But it’s a lot. And just like that I was in a great mood, never better. More burned air, more thunder, more lightning? I hardly even noticed.

– from THE SOUND AND THE FURRY.

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Chetspeak on Sunday

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May 14th, 2017 Posted 8:09 am

“So what I’d like is some proof, one way or the other,” Sherry said. “What will it cost?”

“We’re not cheap,” Bernie said.

“Who’s we?”

“Me and Chet, of course.”

Sherry glanced my way. “The dog?”

“Correct.”

“Did he just eat all that bacon?”

Bernie checked the paper plate Rodrigo had sent out. It lay on the patio floor at Senor Breakfast, and at that moment I happened to be licking it clean. Bernie gave me a look. I gave him a look back, kept licking at the same time. Two things at once? I was on top of my game.

– from TAIL OF VENGEANCE (the 3rd C&B e-short – 99 cents!)

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Chetspeak on Sunday

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May 7th, 2017 Posted 7:54 am

Spike lumbered up, gave me a bump. Just being friends: Spike was getting on now, that twisted warrior face almost completely white. I gave him a friendly bump back. He rose up and tried to … really? What a crazy idea! I shook him off, rose up myself and tried to do the same crazy thing! What a time we were having! He shook me off and then we were racing around the yard – not really racing, since Spike was no speedster – nipping at each other and barking our heads off. Did we roll around some in an oily patch? Maybe, but I couldn’t be sure, because all of a sudden Spike had one of those – what were they called? welding torches? – yes, welding torches in his mouth, and I had to have it, so –

– from A FISTFUL OF COLLARS.

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