Posts Tagged ‘Chetspeak’

Chetspeak on Sunday


March 19th, 2017 Posted 9:13 am

Bernie reached out again and … oh, no: gave Napoleon a pat? All that did was make Napoleon growl. A pleasant development, and just in time to stop me from pushing in between. And then Napoleon made an up-from-under head twisting motion and I realized he wanted … more.

“Ooomph,” said Bernie. “Easy there, big guy. Sit down for a minute.”

I sat down, if sitting down could include butt not actually in contact with ground. As for how much time a minute was, my impression had always been hardly any at all.

“Chet! We’re working here.”

This was work? The case had something to do with Bernie patting Napoleon? I wasn’t seeing that, not the least little bit. But it was the kind of thing Bernie would know. I sat back down, my butt practically grazing the ground.


RIP: Chuck Berry


Chetspeak on Sunday


March 12th, 2017 Posted 8:59 am

“That left a bad taste in my mouth,” Bernie said. “How about a little spin?”

What was this? Bernie had a bad taste in his mouth? I felt sorry for him. At the same time, I let my tongue roam around my own mouth and what do you know? Up in the roof part, hidden away in one of those hard ridges? Yes! A Cheeto! Not a whole Cheeto, but pretty close. I nudged it loose with the tip of my tongue and made quick work of it. Riding shotgun in the Porsche, Cheetos practically falling from the sky: we were cooking.



Chetspeak on Sunday


March 5th, 2017 Posted 8:17 am


Bernie knocked. Right away I heard Iggy start up on the other side. How I’d missed that amazingly high-pitched yip-yip-yip yip-yip-yip, a yip-yip-yipping Iggy could sustain all night if he wanted, and he often did! But now it was saying Welcome home, buddy! Let’s do something fun! Like dig up old man Heydrich’s lawn, old man Heydrich being our neighbor on the other side. Dig it up so it stayed that way! What a brilliant idea, especially coming from Iggy.

“Chet! What do you think you’re doing?”

Uh-oh. Possibly standing on my back legs, pawing at the door? Maybe more like clawing into it, somewhat deeply? If that was really happening I got it under control and pronto.


(And belated Happy Birthday to Sharon.)


Chetspeak on Sunday


February 26th, 2017 Posted 8:41 am

Everyone looked at Iggy under the table. He happened to be curled up, giving himself a good lick between his hind legs, one of his favorite pastimes.

“The hero of the piece,” Captain Stine said.

Whoa! I sidled over to the table, slid down under, and gave the hero of the piece a nip on the ear. And would you believe it? He nipped me back. So what could I do but renip? At which point, Iggy noticed that the back door was open. He bolted. I bolted after him. We ran around to the side of the house, knocked over the trash can, fought over the pizza remains, and took off into the warm night, ears flat back from a wind of our own making.

– from THE IGGY CHRONICLES, VOL. 1 – the 2nd C&B e-short. 


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