Posts Tagged ‘Chetspeak’

Chetspeak on Sunday


September 24th, 2017 Posted 8:31 am

The perp looked around – what nasty little eyes he had! – and saw there was nowhere to go. We were in some kind of warehouse, big and shadowy, with a few grimy high-up windows and tall stacks of machine parts. I couldn’t remember how the warehouse fit in, exactly, or even what the whole case was all about; only knew beyond a doubt, from those nasty eyes and that sour end-of-the-line smell, a bit like those kosher pickles Bernie had with his BLT’s – I’d tried one; once was enough for the kosher pickles, although I always had time for a BLT – that this guy was the perp. I lunged forward and grabbed him by the pantleg. Case closed.



Chetspeak on Sunday


September 10th, 2017 Posted 8:25 am

“Call him off!” the perp screamed. “I give up.”

Bernie came running up from behind. “Good work, Chet,” he said, huffing and puffing. Poor Bernie – he was trying to give up smoking again, but not having much luck.

“Get him off! He’s biting me!”

“Chet wouldn’t bite,” Bernie said. “Not deliberately.”

“Not deliberately? What are you – “

“On the other hand, round about now he usually likes to hear a confession.”



Chetspeak on Sunday


September 3rd, 2017 Posted 9:12 am

I could smell him – or rather the booze on his breath, before he even opened the door – but my sense of smell is pretty good, probably better than yours. The key scratched against the lock, finally found the slot. The door opened and in, with a little stumble, came Bernie Little, founder and part-owner (his ex-wife Leda walked off with the rest) of the Little Detective Agency. I’d seen him look worse, but not often.

He mustered a weak smile. “Hey, Chet.”

I raised my tail and let it thump down on the rug, just so, sending a message.

“I’m a little late, sorry. Need to go out?”

Why would that be? Just because my back teeth were floating? But then I thought, what the hell, the poor guy, and I went over and pressed my head against the side of his leg. He scratched between my ears, really digging his fingers in, the way I like. Bliss. How about a little more, down the back of the neck? I hunched my shoulders a bit, giving him the idea. Ah, nice. Very nice.

– from DOG ON IT (actually the very beginning).

And don’t forget: HARD RAIN is the featured daily deal today at


Tomorrow 5:30-7:30


July 9th, 2017 Posted 9:25 am

Spence will be at Mutts and Martinis in beautiful Osterville Mass. on Cape Cod, signing THE RIGHT SIDE and some Chet and Bernies and sampling martinis.

Osterville Village Library, 43 Wianno Ave, Osterville, MA. 1 (508) 420- 0550.

(Chetspeak returns next Sunday.)


The Books

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