Posts Tagged ‘Chetspeak’
April 23rd, 2017 Posted 7:43 am
We got off the elevator, found ourselves at the back of a court room. I’d been in court rooms before, even been exhibit A for my buddy Judge Jaramillo, down in the Valley, but never one this small. It had only two benches on either side of a narrow aisle, then two long desks, and in front of that and raised up on a dais another desk, at which Judge Stringer was sitting. He wore a black robe and looked real tired. At each of the two desks sat a group of two people, their backs to us. One of those people was Bernie. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit! This was the worst moment of my life.
– from THE DOG WHO KNEW TOO MUCH.
April 16th, 2017 Posted 8:07 am
Iggy escaped? At last! Another breeze sprang up, much stronger than the one that was ruffling Mr. Parsons’s hair, and coming from the other direction, meaning behind me. Kind of strange, the inside of our house on Mesquite Road not usually being a windy place. I sat down to think about it and the wind died down just like that. A puzzling moment, but not important in the grand scheme, whatever that might mean. The important thing was Iggy, on the loose. Iggy’s my best pal: the fun we’ve shared! I can hardly remember. But all that was way back when, before the electric fence dude came around and made a sale to Mr. and Mrs. Parsons. Then came a mixed-up time where they couldn’t get it working right even though Bernie went over and straightened everything out more than once, and after that you never saw Iggy outside anymore, only spotted him at the window in their front hall, peering out. His constant high-pitched yip-yip-yip; his stubby sideways tail wag whenever he saw me, the fastest wag I knew, just a blur; and somehow Iggy could keep drooling at the same time! Did I miss him or what? So this was great news, unless I wasn’t getting something.
– from THE IGGY CHRONICLES, VOL. 1 (one of the 4 C&B e-shorts).
April 9th, 2017 Posted 8:49 am
“Innermost sanctum,” Mitch said. “Ex-CIA types, even a few ex-KGB according to rumor.”
“My knees are shaking.”
I checked Bernie’s knees. He was in his boxers so I could take a good close look. They weren’t moving in the slightest! What was that all about? My gaze wandered to the wound on one of his legs. Poor Bernie! He got that wound in the war and sometimes – only when he was at his very tiredest – it made him limp, but not a lot, hardly even noticeable.
“Chet? What are you – “
All of a sudden Bernie was looking down at me and I was … giving that wound a quick lick? Had he brought up something along these lines before? Quite possibly. But I only wanted to make it better. And the next moment, I saw in his eyes that he knew that, too. He gave me a pat. We were square, on the up and up, cool with each other to the max.
– from THE SOUND AND THE FURRY.
April 2nd, 2017 Posted 8:10 am
“Easy, big guy, easy.”
Uh-oh. Was I jumping up and down? I made my best effort to get that under control, at least eliminating the up part of the jump, if that makes any sense. Meanwhile Bernie was crouched over the strange bird, which was now in pieces, more than two, and not a bird at all, or even a creature of any kind, but a machine, with insides that reminded me a bit of the insides of Bernie’s desktop computer, the day that Charlie figured out how to get the back off. The fun we’d had! And I’d ended up pooping out that one missing piece – a little green plastic square if I remember right – the very next day, so no harm, no foul. But no time for any of that now. Eye on the ball, big guy, which is what Bernie always says, although when it comes to playing fetch all our tennis balls and lacrosse balls are covered in my scent, so nose on the ball gets it done for me.
– from PAW AND ORDER.