Posts Tagged ‘Chet and Bernie e-shorts’

Beginnings: Christmas in July!


July 28th, 2019 Posted 7:45 am

On Sundays we do beginnings. Today: Santa 365, one of the Chet and Bernie e-shorts. It starts like so:

“There’s no Santa Claus,” Charlie said.

“Who told you that?” said Bernie.


“Who’s Esmé?”

“At school.”

“Well,” said Bernie, “everyone has their own opinion.”

“It’s not an opinion, Dad,” said Charlie. “It’s a scientific fact.”


“From a scientist.”

“Any scientist in particular?”

“Groucho Marx.”

“Esmé told you that?”


“Know much about Groucho Marx?”

Charlie shrugged his skinny little shoulders. “He was a scientist and he said there ain’t no Santa Claus.”

“What do Esmé’s parents do?”

“Drive her to school. Pick her up.”

“I meant for a living.”

“Like you’re a private eye?”

“Yeah. Like that.”

“I don’t think they’re private eyes,” Charlie said.

“Why not?”

“They’re rich.”



The Short of It


March 16th, 2019 Posted 7:54 am

In answer to some questions that have come up, there are 4 Chet and Bernie short stories, available from all the usual places. They are:

A CAT WAS INVOLVED – the C&B origin story.


TAIL OF VENGEANCE – The story of the Teitelbaum Divorce, a nightmarish case Chet often refers to.

SANTA 365 – a Christmas mystery.

Anyone with change under a seat cushion can afford these! (Comment from Mrs. Publicist)


C&B Short Story How-To


December 11th, 2017 Posted 7:35 am

There are 4 Chet and Bernie short stories available only in digital form. This leads to lots of pointed communications from people who don’t have e-readers. Don’t despair! Here’s Mrs. Publicist’s advice: “We’ve had questions about how non e-readers can read the stories. The answer is: many ways! If you have an iPhone, Android, or any other smartphone — download the Kindle, Kobo, Nook or Apple iBooks apps and you can buy it through the app. You can also download Adobe Digital Editions (for free!), then download the ePub version of the book (why not from Simon and Schuster?) and read it on your computer. You can even print it from your computer!”


Chetspeak on Sunday


May 14th, 2017 Posted 8:09 am

“So what I’d like is some proof, one way or the other,” Sherry said. “What will it cost?”

“We’re not cheap,” Bernie said.

“Who’s we?”

“Me and Chet, of course.”

Sherry glanced my way. “The dog?”


“Did he just eat all that bacon?”

Bernie checked the paper plate Rodrigo had sent out. It lay on the patio floor at Senor Breakfast, and at that moment I happened to be licking it clean. Bernie gave me a look. I gave him a look back, kept licking at the same time. Two things at once? I was on top of my game.

– from TAIL OF VENGEANCE (the 3rd C&B e-short – 99 cents!)


The Books

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