Posts Tagged ‘Bernie’

I Vant To Sock Your Blahd


October 29th, 2010 Posted 8:59 am

Count Dracula appeared right in our house! Walking down the hall with his arms raised up high! He was way taller than I’d imagined. Of course I attacked him right away – homeland security is my job. But it was only Bernie – I found out just a bit too late – trying on his Halloween costume. No one told me Halloween was coming. I like all the holidays – Thanksgiving especially – but not Halloween. What gets into people on Halloween? You tell me.


Nice Going, Sadie The Scottie


February 17th, 2010 Posted 8:53 am

Sadie wins Westminster! Way to go, and congratulations to all the competitors, of whom I missed some, maybe a lot, on account of falling asleep. We’ve been pretty busy lately, me and Bernie. But he says that Sadie and her handler Gabriel Rangel like to watch Animal Planet together, and so do we! Although all that watching didn’t prepare me for some of the things that happened in book 3.

Some question came up down in the bottom part about Leda and the Little Detective Agency? Here’s a bit from the beginning of Dog On It:

The door opened and in, with a little stumble, came Bernie Little, founder and part owner (his ex-wife, Leda, walked off with the rest) of the Little Detective Agency. I’d seen him look worse, but not often.


Is This A Democracy?


February 4th, 2010 Posted 8:30 am

Spence and Admin are kind of scrapping today. I don’t mean throwing down. You wouldn’t want to see that – they’re not big guys like me and Bernie, and probably wouldn’t do that well up against, say, Jocko Cochrane. Oops, maybe shouldn’t be mentioning old Jocko. Which maybe brings us to this scrapping between Spence and Admin. It’s all about some biopsy, whatever that is. Spence says lots of readers are worried about the biopsy so why not post some scene from book 3 that clears everything up. Admin says, “Is this suspense or not? In suspense there’s supposed to be suspense, which means no peeking.”

Bernie gets tired of the scrapping and says, “Why not ask the readers? See what they want – post or no post.”

All right, I’m asking.



Noir (From Thereby Hangs A Tail)


January 22nd, 2010 Posted 9:12 am

“Chill, Thurman,” said Crash. “You’re gonna screw up the whole – “

“No one tells me to chill,” Thurman said. And all at once he took a big roundhouse swing at Crash. I wouldn’t have thought Crash capable of moving real fast, but he was. He ducked, just like that, almost quicker than I could see. I’ve only had one encounter with a duck, and it didn’t duck at all, attacked me, in fact, so I don’t get the ducking thing; but that’s another story. Thurman swung. Crash ducked. And Thurman’s huge fist caught Disco square on the chin. He toppled over and lay still.

Thurman moved on Crash. Crash backed away, ending up against the RV, no place to go. “A hundred and seventy-five bucks or you’re next,” he said.

“Don’t have that kind of bread right now,” Crash said. “And this is a real bad time for you to – “

“Then I’m takin’ the dog,” Thurman said. He wheeled around toward me. I growled. I hated the choke chain and never forgot things like that.

“Not an option,” Bernie said.

Thurman faced Bernie. “You stay out of this,” he said. “The dog’s bought and paid for.”

Bernie moved slightly, stepping between me and Thurman. “When did this happen?” he said.

“None of your business. Take my word for it.”

“And where?”

“Don’t hear too good, do you, pal?” said Thurman.

“Anywhere near Red Butte, by any chance?” Bernie said.

“You lookin’ for trouble?” Thurman’s eye twitch got going.

“Trouble’s already here,” Bernie said. “Now the only question is how it gets handled.”

Down on the ground, Disco moaned and began to stir.

“You’ll get handled, you don’t get out of my way,” said Thurman.

Bernie didn’t budge. “And I hear just fine, by the way,” he said. Huh? Bernie really thought that? “Sharp enough to pick up the sound of a loser.”

Thurman’s mouth opened. All that black hairy beard and then a very red tongue in the middle: it had a strange effect on me, made me feel like scrapping. At the same time, I noticed Crash sidling toward the cab of the RV. I sidled over with him. He looked at me and mouthed some word. Mouthed, like with no sound. What was I supposed to make of that? I had enough trouble with ordinary sounded-out words; if you weren’t careful, you could get impatient with humans sometimes. I showed Crash my teeth, didn’t know what else to do. He stopped sidling.

Admin: to see the Little Detective Agency business card, please scroll down to January 16.

Also, to Megan and Lisa Trotter – no mailing addresses have come in yet, re sending out your pop quiz prizes.


The Books

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