(Very) Early Sneak Peek: To Fetch A Thief (The Opening)

“I smell trouble,” Bernie said.

Better stop right there. Not that I doubt Bernie. The truth is I believe everything he says. And he has a nice big nose for a human. But what’s that saying? Not much.

It’s a fact that trouble has a smell – human trouble especially, sour and penetrating – but Bernie had never smelled trouble before, or if so he hadn’t mentioned it, and Bernie mentioned all kinds of things to me. We’re partners in the Little Detective Agency, me and Bernie, Bernie’s last name being Little. I’m Chet, pure and simple.

I took a quick sniff, smelled no trouble whatsoever, just as I’d expected, but did smell lots of other stuff, including burgers cooking on a grill. I looked around: no grill in sight, and this wasn’t the time to go searching, although all at once I was a bit hungry, maybe even more than a bit. We were on the job, trailing some woman whose name I’d forgotten. She’d led us out of the Valley to a motel in a flea-bitten desert town. That was what Bernie called it – flea-bitten – but I felt no fleas at all, hadn’t been bothered by them in ages, not since I started on the drops. But the funny thing was, even though I didn’t have fleas, just the thought of them suddenly made me itchy. I started scratching, first behind my ear, soon along my side, then both at once, really digging in with my claws, faster and –

“Chet, for God’s sake.”

I went still, one of my back paws frozen in mid-air.



This entry was posted on Sunday, March 28th, 2010 at 8:28 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

38 Responses to “(Very) Early Sneak Peek: To Fetch A Thief (The Opening)”

  1. Melanie
    4:36 am on March 28th, 2010

    Oh, my God . . . what a great way to start the morning . . .


    I've seen our dogs do that, Chet. Scratching like mad and then I'll call their name and their paw just frozen. I bet you look dignified like that, our dogs just look funny.

  2. dawson
    5:02 am on March 28th, 2010

    Chet: Thanks for the sneak peek of TFAT. Although it make me a little impatient to hold the whole book in my hands. Need a proof reader? I have experience and also not much of a memory so I couldn't blab all the contents.

    Birds Again: Reading THAT to the inmates I was amazed. Birds all over the place. Every other word was about a bird. Dogs think about birds alot.

    Ravens: We have them out the ying yang here. Very smart.

    Siberian Husky: I'm with you on this uploading/downloading techno babble. Huh?

  3. B. Stover
    5:29 am on March 28th, 2010

    Chet, when you're scratching both at once, do you use one paw or two? Can't wait for TFAT.

  4. B. Stover
    5:51 am on March 28th, 2010

    I read Kate's post on the March 25 blog. I'd have to suggest that dog shows are not the most important thing in THAT. In fact, to focus on them is to miss the point completely.

  5. Rio - The Evil Pug
    6:08 am on March 28th, 2010

    Woooo!…. High Five every body! ….snort!snort!….The software upgrade is starting to work on Spence!….Hallelujah!

    Oh!… My!… To Fetch A Thief is going to be the best one yet!…snort! … Chalk full of entertainment right from the very opening…grunt!… One thing that bugs me is in the title of this mornings post…wheeze!… The “(Very)”… right at the beginning means we probably have a very long wait ahead of us… sniff!

  6. Lexi
    6:27 am on March 28th, 2010

    OMG! Thank you, Chet! But do you know when the pub. date is going to be? I'm not sure that I can wait any longer!!!!

  7. Lexi
    6:29 am on March 28th, 2010

    Oh, I forgot to mention something. Rio, I need your help. There's this Pit-bully in our neighborhood that attacks dogs. My friend Sasha, she's a member of your tribe, Siber-H, got bit on the face by the Pit-Bully. And now I'm scared out of my wits. What should I do?

  8. Rio - The Evil Pug
    6:47 am on March 28th, 2010

    Lexi!… Do you have a gun? Or a taser, perhaps?…. snort!…. If not, then I suggest trying the Chicken Box Trap, only use raw meat instead of corn….grunt!… If this doesn’t work, then stay inside and lock all the doors! …gasp!… Those Pit-Bully’s are not to be trifled with…grunt!

  9. Melanie
    7:01 am on March 28th, 2010

    Having had show dogs (now the Pack are retired as we are from washing and grooming the day before, getting up at 4:30 am to go to the show, then grooming more then watching the dogs, hearts in mouth, then packing up and bringing them home and collapsing) I found the end of THAT to be wonderful. Chet's joy brings that show to a wonderful close. There have been times that the shows were almost that good, but Chet's ending was FANTASTIC!

    Dogs know how to celebrate JOY.

  10. Melanie
    7:09 am on March 28th, 2010

    Oh yeah, we're watching All Creatures Great and Small and the episode the other night had fleas in it. Like Chet we don't have fleas. The dogs have "bug off" garlic every morning (let me tell you there's nothing like getting a good morning kiss from a Newfoundland that has garlic breath) to keep the fleas away. After watching the episode, the Pack didn't itch and scratch but the humans did!

    Zoë just said she's going to take all the collars off the dogs, wash them and then put them on different dogs to see how long it would take Dan and I to notice.

    Winter has been long here.

  11. Rio - The Evil Pug
    7:10 am on March 28th, 2010

    Melanie!… In your professional opinion…snort!… do you think Audrey is part Newfoundland?…grunt!… If not, what type of dog is she anyway? …wheeze!

  12. Melanie
    7:31 am on March 28th, 2010

    She certainly looks like there is some Newf in her ancestry, but there are other dogs like the Flat Coated Retriever, or maybe a Lab (those Labs get around) and larger retriever mix.

    Maybe Chet or Wookie could find out if Audrey has webbed feet or maybe some black spots on her tongue?

    What she is is beautiful.

    Oh, and that should be Dan and ME, not I. Just saying before B.Stover notices!

  13. B. Stover
    8:08 am on March 28th, 2010

    Dogs celebrating joy…..excellent Melanie! It seems to me that THAT demonstrates the importance of acts of kindness and that, in fact, we cannot and will not survive without them.

    Season 1 of Merlin is on Syfy all day long…and into the night.

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  15. Gus & BooBear
    8:18 am on March 28th, 2010

    Loved the opening of the new book! Would love to read the whole book SOON! How far away is October anyway?

    We seem to remember Spence mentioning at some point that Audrey has some Swiss Mountain Dog in her. She does look Newf-like in the picture though. Wookie would know best, although we had best not ask the details on how he found out.

  16. AbbietheKitty
    8:24 am on March 28th, 2010


    Please check my post late last night.


  17. AbbietheKitty
    8:26 am on March 28th, 2010

    Well Rio, I have to hand it to you. After teasing us for a week Spence has finally caved. You did good! Spence is a MASTER teaser.

    Alice Johnson

  18. Siberian Husky
    8:34 am on March 28th, 2010

    Thanks, Dawson, for the support on the techo babble. I'll bet the winning dog team in the Iditarod can't upload or download either. I'll get to my photo issues later.

    Lexi: I like Rio's suggestions for dealing with the pit bull. I don't like the thought of you or Sasha getting bit, or worse. If you have a good animal control, report the pitt bull. You can get their attention by saying that next it is going to be a little child that gets bit. If all else fails, like a gun or animal control, stay away from the dog. We could call Cesar Millan. He likes pit bulls.

  19. Siberian Husky
    8:57 am on March 28th, 2010

    Abbie: Thank you very much for your offer of help. I think you might end up throwing things if you tried to help me and mom by email. It would be our failure, not yours. We don't even really understand that part of the instruction manual that came with the camera. Mom was being really brave, for her, just buying a ditigal camera. We'll see if she can get somone here to do it. Thanks again, and I hope you saw my post the other day where I said I would hire you for my attorney if my defense came to that.

    I'm going to try something else for now: Mr. Rio, go to the website of Siberian Husky Rescue of New Mexico. On the home page in the upper right hand corner is a husky–That dog looks just like me. Mom thought it was me when they re-designed their website and she saw that dog.

  20. Melanie
    9:02 am on March 28th, 2010

    S. Husky, if that dog looks like you, you are a handsome fellow!

    The Pack wants to know if you use eyeliner.

  21. Siberian Husky
    9:13 am on March 28th, 2010

    Sorry Chet for taking up so much space on my technical issues. Rio started all of this. lol

    I think the beginning of the new book is fantastic! I love it when Chet and Bernie go out in the desert, but there is always danger out there for them. My tummy starts getting tight whenever they leave the city limits. I can't wait for the new book. Sigh, it is going to be a long wait, I'm afraid.

    Audrey is beautiful! I think I'm in love! Sooo much water, though. Don't get upset, Wookie. You would be more her type (the water thing again) and you are much closer.

  22. Siberian Husky
    9:26 am on March 28th, 2010

    Thanks, Melanie, for the compliment. A lot of huskies do look like they use eyeliner. Oh gosh, I'm a guy, so I don't.

  23. AbbietheKitty
    9:51 am on March 28th, 2010


    OK, I wasn't sure if I could really help you with the camera anyway. Each one has it's own rules. I was willing to try though. I went to your New Mexico Siberian Husky Rescue site and looked at your picture. You sure are pretty. I hope you can get us a picture soon!

    And you keep on with the twinkies and you will not need to worry about lawyers! tee hee


    Did you notice that there is a Husky named Rio looking for a good home? He has one blue eye and one brown eye.


  24. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:14 am on March 28th, 2010

    Snort!…. I think Siber-H looks like Gene Simmons from Kiss!….heh!

  25. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:18 am on March 28th, 2010

    Siber-H!… Tell us your real name please?…snort!…It would be funny if it was Gene…heh!

  26. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:20 am on March 28th, 2010

    Wha!?…. Alice Johnson gave me a compliment?…. snort!…What’s up with that?…mmmm!

  27. Sam
    11:05 am on March 28th, 2010

    Mr. Rio – Don't worry if your family gets a pug puppy. I'm only 1-1/2 years old and Mollypop didn't like me at first. She called me 'Kid' and said I was Obnoxious. She didn't even want to play with me or share any dog toys.

    But now we're the best of friends; we've been playing all weekend.

  28. Rio - The Evil Pug
    11:36 am on March 28th, 2010

    Sam huh?….well Sam, I don’t like playing with puppies….grump!….I have ways of stopping this puppy train, don’t worry…snort!… The more the puppy is talked about, the worse I behave…grunt!…. They are already having second thoughts about the whole thing!… wheeze!

  29. Wookie of Chevy Chas
    11:58 am on March 28th, 2010

    Lexi — SiberH and I will protect you if necessary. Just let us know. I am actually a fairly laid back and gentle sort of guy, but when my friends or my mom are threatened (or when the mailman attacks the house by putting that dreaded mail through the mail slot in the door), I can be incredibly ferocious! Grrrr!

    Rio, high fives back at you. We did it!!!!!!! And don't worry about the puglet; it will be just fine. When I first came to my forever home, the golden retriever next door took me under his wing, and showed me everything I needed to know (including how to lift my leg when you know what). He's crossed the rainbow bridge now, but they got a new puppy, and I am trying to do the same for him (although he is a bit of a handful in his exuberant youth).

    As to Aubrey — I'm pretty sure she is part golden retriever and part something else. I think that's what Spence said on the talk radio show he was on a few weeks back, when things got confused and the interviewer first thought he was Chet (imagine that), but my memory — like Chet's — can get a little fuzzy at times. I know the dog he had before Audrey was a golden retriever though. Wookie

  30. Siberian Husky
    12:10 pm on March 28th, 2010

    Rio, If you don't behave, I'm going to get you a little sister or brother–just kidding. My real name is, Caleb. I had that name when mom adopted me and she didn't change it, but I rather like the name you gave me, Siber-H

    Abbie: Mom has met Rio (the husky) but I haven't. He is nothing like our Rio. This guy came to us shy, but he is slowly coming out of it. He is a real sweet guy and smaller than me. He got the name, Rio, cause he was found by the Rio Grande.

    I am still laughing about the Gene Simmons thing. If I look like anyone, I think I look like John Wayne.

  31. Rio - The Evil Pug
    12:39 pm on March 28th, 2010

    Caleb!… I really like that name, but not for you!….snort!… You are Siber-H pure and simple…grunt!… I was named after Rio De Janeiro … wheeze!… I don’t think that’s where they bought me though….

  32. Rio - The Evil Pug
    2:52 pm on March 28th, 2010

    Oh!… I am laughing so hard!…. snort!… and I never laugh!… You guys have to check out the Video Tab!… like right now!… before it changes…grunt!… First! to see this you have to run the “Snowey Day” video, then all these other video links appear beneath it!… gruff!…they change each day it seems..

    Bizkit!… the Sleep Walking Dog is hilarious!… Just watch all 5 or 6 of them!…wheeze!… I was laughing so hard I couldn’t stand it!… What a guy!… snort!

  33. Rio - The Evil Pug
    2:58 pm on March 28th, 2010

    Snowy Day!… I recognize the two guys in this video as the first ones who posted their photo on Friends of Chet!…snort!… so I bet Mike Baker of BakerMedia is the one who designed this web page for Spencer and gang…wheeze!… Anyway, every time I have run his video, the other video links below appear and change … Awesomeness! …grunt!… Hope it stays fresh!… but nonetheless, Bizkit is hilarious!….gruff!

  34. B. Stover
    3:26 pm on March 28th, 2010

    I like the pictures of the Dobermans.

  35. Sam
    3:37 pm on March 28th, 2010

    Mr. Rio – I bet if you made a video it would be put out there.

  36. Rio - The Evil Pug
    6:16 pm on March 28th, 2010

    After two days, in the desert sun,

    My skin began to turn red.

    After three days, in the desert fun,

    I was looking at a river bed.

    And the story it told, of a river that flowed,

    Made me sad to think it was dead.


    After nine days, I let the horse run free,

    Cause the desert had turned to sea.

    There were plants and birds, and rocks and things,

    There was sand and hills and rings.

    The ocean is a desert, with its life underground,

    And a perfect disguise above.

    Under the cities lies, a heart made of ground,

    But the humans will give no love.

    You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name,

    It felt good to be out of the rain.

    In the desert you can remember your name,

    'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain.

  37. Barbi Barker
    7:29 am on April 18th, 2010

    Just PreOrdered "To Fetch a Thief" from Amazon (to be released in October 2010). Looking forward to another cool cover! The Chet & Bernie Mysteries are the BEST! Thanx Chet, Bernie & Spence.

  38. Barbi Barker
    7:35 am on April 18th, 2010

    PreOrdered "To Fetch a Thief" book #3 in the Chet & Bernie Mystery Series. Chet, Bernie, Spence – you guys rock!

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