Tour Talk

“I understand you’re going to Lexington this time,” Admin says.

“Very excited about that,” says Spence. “I’ve never been to Kentucky before, no idea why. The store – Joseph-Beth Booksellers – is supposed to be great. I’m there Wednesday Sept. 11 at 7 PM.”

“Talking, signing, possibly reading from The Sound and the Furry?”

“And tossing out a few Chet and Bernie stress balls.”

“Are you going to tell the story about when you drowned?”

“Wasn’t planning to.”

“I think you should reconsider – based on a certain scene in The Sound and the Furry.”

“Hmm. Say no more.”


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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 29th, 2013 at 8:35 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

104 Responses to “Tour Talk”

  1. B. Stover
    8:48 am on August 29th, 2013

    A drowning scene in the sixth novel? Gulp.

    Lexington is beautiful and there are lots of horses.

    Good morning all.

  2. B. Stover
    8:48 am on August 29th, 2013

    I really like Melanie’s picture from yesterday of the copper typewriter with extras.

  3. Rose
    8:57 am on August 29th, 2013


    HRH, B, Good morning. I loved that copper typewriter as well. A piece of art.

    Belle Starr: Egads! We cannot have your sparkle supplies being stolen. We must investigate. First, we’ll round up the usual subjects…Pancho, Lefty…sorry, guys, I love youse, and both of you are charming and quite handsome, but let’s not forget you tried to steal my gloves and the Prof’s when we visited. We must look under your two-legged’s bed. That new Pixie haircut means like she’ll be using a lot of sparkles too.

  4. Rose
    9:00 am on August 29th, 2013

    Spence, sounds like you’ll be taking a fun promotional trip. We have some bookstores in Weschester County, you know. I would like to have a Chet and Bernie stress ball tossed at me.

  5. Herd of Hounds
    9:20 am on August 29th, 2013

    Gooood morning, everyone! Stories and stress balls and tour…oh my. What a great day 🙂

    Hope everyone has a terrifically thuming Thursday!

  6. Herd of Hounds
    9:21 am on August 29th, 2013

    GAH! Not thuming, THUMPING.

  7. Melanie
    9:27 am on August 29th, 2013

    I would prefer to catch a stress ball. snicker

    Staff, glad you found your comma.

    I’m also happy that Dawson’s brain has been found. Still looking for mine . . sigh.

    HOH, ask Staff to send you an official Plunderer Chet The Dog id link or picture. Can’t remember how it worked. You’ll need it when you get stree balls thrown at you.

    Everyone else? Good Morning! I’m off down the hills to do errands.

  8. Tupper and Gilly
    10:05 am on August 29th, 2013

    Good morning all. Mama said last night that she was going to sleep until she dam well felt like getting up – like around noon.

    So, she was up at 7:30 as usual. sigh….

    Melanie – how far downhill are you coming?

  9. BooBear
    10:06 am on August 29th, 2013

    SQ, I thought when I saw the title for today’s post that you were going to post that “Oops, you forgot to mention Houston in your itinerary.” Surely, that little swing by wouldn’t be too far out of the way.


  10. dawson
    10:06 am on August 29th, 2013

    Did someone find my brain? I must go read last night’s posts.

  11. Barb & Maggie
    10:20 am on August 29th, 2013

    Good morning. Our computer seems a little better so far this morning, but still not back to normal. May end up calling one of those computer geek guys to fix it.

    Barb’s brother is going to try to make the signing in Durham, but he may be helping his son relocate to Maryland that week.

    Maybe we can talk Spence into going to Houston for Boobear.

  12. Chet The Dog
    10:20 am on August 29th, 2013

    Rose – how far is RJ Julia in Madison CT from you? Spence will be there Oct. 3. And Boo Bear – I’m afraid Houston’s not on the schedule this year. Too bad! – Admin

  13. dawson
    10:28 am on August 29th, 2013

    Chatty Cathy, the morning nurse, is here. She started to sit down but saw me on the computer and said, “Oh, you’re working, I’ll go in the other room.” Heh, heh.
    Honestly! I have a list of things she can do while waiting for the 10 minutes between eye drops to pass, but she needs to be reminded to look at it.
    My brain is in cold storage. Good! It is way too hot here. Chatty Cathy is making ice cubes. Hooray!
    We had a little rain last night which cooled things off a bit. Still going to be very hot for Staff’s visit this weekend.
    BooBear: That is too bad about Spence skipping Houston this time around. I hope he can be persuaded to make a quick detour your way but then, it might not be up to him.
    Spence: I want need some stress balls.

  14. Mary
    10:28 am on August 29th, 2013

    Looking forward to seeing you in Lexington

  15. Tupper and Gilly
    10:29 am on August 29th, 2013

    We would like to announce that our tomatoes are now arriving in various delicious shades of red. woo hoooo!

    Mama made a tomato pie last night that everyone loved. She put the recipe into dishlickers.

  16. Beau - The Black Pug
    10:29 am on August 29th, 2013

    Chet!…Someone here tells me I will be out at the farm with that ole Pepper when you are in my state…sniffle!…She says her and Beau will be in Iowa doing dawg knows what when you will be here…sob!sob!sob!…We finally get our chance to see your pointy head in person and, and we are going to miss it!…sob!sob!sob!

  17. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:31 am on August 29th, 2013

    Beau!….Looks like Beau was on the computer…grump!

  18. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:37 am on August 29th, 2013

    Spencer!…And I meant Spencer’s pointy head not Chets…sob!sob!sob!

  19. Tupper and Gilly
    10:49 am on August 29th, 2013

    Rio – oh no! Say it ain’t so, little Pugster.

  20. Rose
    10:51 am on August 29th, 2013

    Admin, Madison, CT is about 70 miles from where I live.

    There is a very nice independent bookstore in Pleasantville, NY, called the Village Bookstore. You could come there, and the Prof and I could take you to dinner.

  21. bluecat
    10:52 am on August 29th, 2013

    There are some circumstances lurking but Mom and Dad hope to be in Lexington on the 11th.

  22. Barb & Maggie
    10:56 am on August 29th, 2013

    Rio, Sob…

    Barb is off to buy some organic blueberries that are on sale. She is going to freeze them. Has anyone used frozen blueberries in baking muffins?

  23. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:58 am on August 29th, 2013


  24. Siber-H
    11:01 am on August 29th, 2013

    sob sob, sob, sniff

  25. Herd of Hounds
    11:05 am on August 29th, 2013

    sob, sob, sob, burrrrp!

  26. BooBear
    11:12 am on August 29th, 2013

    Rio, I think you “screwed the pooch” on this one!! This sounds like the perfect opportunity for your friend to get out of a repeat trip to Iowa!

    SiberH, surely you are going to make the stopt in New Mexico?

    Chet and Admin, can I get a stress ball since you aren’t coming to Houston?? We were already thinking about what Mexican food restaurant to take you to…we have GOOD Mexican food here!

    BooBear (pouting and feeling VERY sorry for herself!)

  27. Siber-H
    11:27 am on August 29th, 2013

    BooBear, Yes, Yes, Yes,
    I will go to meet Spence! The bookstore that he will be at is in one of the nicer areas of Albuquerque. He will be a good distance from the locations where Breaking Bad is filmed, so I don’t want you guys worrying about him. I’m not really in Albuquerque, but this bookstore is an easy drive for me.

    I’m sorry he will not make it to Houston this year.
    I wish Rio could come stay with me while the rest of the gang goes to Iowa. He could help with my projects in the backyard, and meet Spence at the same time.

  28. B. Stover
    11:30 am on August 29th, 2013

    Barb: I’ve used dried blueberries in muffins and they work well.

  29. Meashka
    11:33 am on August 29th, 2013

    Hello from Virginia! This morning, we did our usual outta-control romp about Barkwells. Then Mom said we were going for a ride, so I planted myself at the back of the Sibe-aroo. Well, it has been a very long ride so far…where on earth is today’s hike going to be?

    And Boo Bear, quit your whining…Spence never comes anywhere near poor us us us.

  30. Tupper and Gilly
    11:34 am on August 29th, 2013

    BlueKat – Hooray and good for you!
    Rose – 70 miles? Mama can make that distance in 45 minutes – just don’t tell the troopers that she is out on the road.
    Siber – Hip Hip Hooray! We are really pleased for you and your Mom. We know Spencer is going to be so happy to meet you.
    BooBear – you have our sympathy.
    Rio – we know you feel. Remember when Spencer came to our backyard and we were on vacation at the beach. Arrggghhh….

  31. Staff
    11:49 am on August 29th, 2013

    OOOOo Poor Rio…sniff sniff sniff

    Mr.Staff and I are running errands in the big city today getting ready for me to go and hug Dawson tomorrow. She needs it.

    Then I am going to turn all the AC in that house on HIGH! I do not care what the father says.


  32. dawson
    11:54 am on August 29th, 2013

    Hooray for all those who will get to attend a signing/reading with Spence and boohoo BooBear for those who don’t.
    I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to get a signed and pawprinted copy of The Sound and the Furry sent up to Canada.

  33. dawson
    11:58 am on August 29th, 2013

    Blind or not?
    Dad told me to set the a/c in his bedroom at 80 degrees. I set it at 68. When I got up in the morning it was set at 80. When questioned I pleaded ignorance on how to set the temperature so Dad clued me in. Heh, heh. He has left the room so it is now at 68.

  34. Princess Sam
    12:08 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Spence isn’t coming to the beautiful Niagara Falls? Big mistake – it’s one of the seven wonders of the world.

  35. Barb & Maggie
    12:25 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rose, 70 miles is not a bad trip. You should go! Last year Barb drove 30 minutes to Kelly’s and then 1 1/2 hours to Naperville to see him, so 2 hours each way. You should be able to do the trip in less than that, right?

    Barb stopped at the butcher shop to get me a nice big bone, and they had a sign up that today starts their annual sale on bacon wrapped fillets. Usually $6.00, today and tomorrow $3.50. Did she buy a few? What do you think?

  36. Barb & Maggie
    12:35 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Barb is now half way thru Unleashed and not one mention of Taco Bell yet. Rosenfelt does send Andy off to Maine, and has him visit the town where David and his wife and their 2 dozen Goldens now live. He speaks in glowing terms of Maine and the friendly people who live there.

  37. Rio - The Evil Pug
    12:49 pm on August 29th, 2013


  38. Rio - The Evil Pug
    12:56 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Boobie-Kat!…There is no way in hell someone here can get out of going on the Iowa trip…sniffle!…She has a stake in the out-come, whatever that means…sob!sob!sob!

  39. Herd of Hounds
    1:03 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Poooor Rio sounds like he is having a “thumped on” Thursday 🙂

  40. Herd of Hounds
    1:17 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Dear brain frozen Dawson, please ask Staff to check her SDD.

  41. O'Howlers
    1:32 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rio, This timing totally sucks (can we say that here?)

  42. Barb & Maggie
    1:40 pm on August 29th, 2013

    If you can say screwed the pooch, you should be able to say sucks. BTW, we never could figure out what that first expression means or where it came from.

  43. Herd of Hounds
    1:43 pm on August 29th, 2013

    B&M: Not everything that sucks is bad…look at vacuum cleaners!

  44. Rose
    1:53 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rio! Lo siento.

    Barb, 70 miles isn’t that bad. I’ll have to take a sick day…


  45. Rio - The Evil Pug
    2:30 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Sob! Sob! Sob!

  46. Melanie
    2:39 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Excitement for all! Some good, some eh . .

    T&G, went down the Hills the other way. Finished with all the errands, and I called Zoë.

    Zoë is NOT feeling well. She is under the quilt. She does escape at times. Today she was weed wacking. Jeeze Louise . .

    Anyhoo, when I told her about the dying of the TV set last night, that was the last straw.

    When I called her today, and said that I had something to tell her, she figured more bad news.

    “Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas and Happy Mother’s Day!” She said, huh?

    I told her I bought her a TV. She argued that I didn’t have the money for that, yadda, yadda, yadda.

    I explained that I really didn’t need a Passport right now. She needed a TV. I’ll just start saving again.

    She is very happy.

  47. B. Stover
    2:46 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Barb: It’s military slang and it replaces the “F” word.

  48. B. Stover
    2:48 pm on August 29th, 2013

    ….And in case it’s not obvious, it means that someone made a big mistake.

  49. BooBear
    2:54 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Good for you, Melanie! Sometimes we just have to go for it to help someone over the hump. Zoe is lucky to have you and you are very lucky to have Zoe.

    Barb, I don’t know where the phrase “STP” came from and I certainly didn’t mean it literally. I meant it in the sense that Rio just messed up big time (not by choice, I know.)

    Hey, Chet! Since Rio can’t make the Denver reading/signing, just cancel and re-route to Houston!! Hope springs eternal. If someone finds out a bookstore that will do orders for signed and pawprinted copies, please post it here. I really want one to me in memory of Gus.

    BooBear (still pouting and whining, but slowly getting over it)

  50. BooBear
    2:56 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Wow, Prof B. I did not know that. Very interesting.

  51. Rio - The Evil Pug
    3:03 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Boobie-Kat!…I am really starting to not like you very much today…grump!

  52. Melanie
    4:36 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Hm, Riö, it might be possible that today you might not like anyone.

    BooBear, maybe Commander Riöwill plan a mission that will get OFA to Houston and delay the reading near a certain pug.

    TV is working. It certainly doesn’t take up the 4 foot square outline that the other one did.

    Guess who is coming up to visit this weekend?

  53. Tupper and Gilly
    4:38 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rio – we think OFA should rearrange his tour so as to be in Denver at a different time.
    Its the least he could do for his biggest, curly tailed, snorting, grumping, burping fan.

  54. Tupper and Gilly
    4:41 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Melanie – WHO????

    Mama went to Salvation Army today to look for books for the beach. Found a few…not much.
    Then she stopped at the recycling center and went into the “Take Books for Free” shed, and hit the motherlode. She could read two books a day for two weeks, and still not get through all the “cozy” mysteries she found.

  55. Barb & Maggie
    4:50 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Thanks Bee. We have heard people say STP, even on CNBC on the market report. Knew it was bad, but that’s all. Never knew it was military slang.

    We are wondering if Rio might be moving east. We lived close to Iowa when we were in the country, but Iowa is a big state.

  56. Barb & Maggie
    5:02 pm on August 29th, 2013

    We like cozy mysteries. Keep us posted on any good finds.

  57. Herd of Hounds
    6:17 pm on August 29th, 2013

    SNAFU another military…Situation Normal, All Fouled* Up.
    Other “cozy” mysteries, Rita Mae and Sneaky Pie Brown mysteries. Barbara Allen Trash to Treasures mysteries and Laurien Berenson Melanie Travis Mysteries. Of course none is in the same league as OFA. Of course there are “The Cat Who”s…………’

  58. Barb & Maggie
    6:43 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Another military phrase – SOS. S**t on a shingle. Barb’s mom used to make it and she loved it. Creamed chipped beef on toast. I think Stouffers still makes it. Delish!

    Tonight a little upscale from SOS – bacon wrapped fillet, fresh green beans and basmati rice (and of course a tomato).

  59. Herd of Hounds
    6:58 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Mom refused to cook so we got Italian leftovers 🙂 Hope the OH are almost back from Paradise to the hum-drum world.

  60. Tupper's Mama
    7:01 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Sometimes you just gotta take a picture.

  61. Wose
    7:11 pm on August 29th, 2013

    And then, there is always FUBAR….

  62. Wose
    7:12 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Royal Mum, AWWWWW,

  63. Barb & Maggie
    7:20 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Cute pic T & G. They look comfy.

    OK, hate to ask but can you tell us what it means, Wose. F U might be self explanitory but what is the rest?

  64. Herd of Hounds
    7:26 pm on August 29th, 2013

    “Fouled” up beyond all recognition,
    Tupper’s Mama: Double ahh! Too cute.

  65. Herd of Hounds
    7:36 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Sometimes we miss San Diego and “Military Speak” many of our friends did. Then other times…not so much. Life is good here: moles, voles, rabbits, ‘possums and the dreaded rackety-coon. Yeah, life is good!

  66. Wose
    7:39 pm on August 29th, 2013

    HOH, you didn’t need me to tell you that, did ‘ya? It is used in the film “Saving Private Ryan.” But not the cleaned up version. : )

  67. Riö - The Evil Pug
    7:40 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Fate!…My friend finally got home and she says that she is coming to grips with the fact that our paths will not cross with Spencer this year…sniffle!…That there will be another tour next year – hey, he does some in the Spring too, right?…snort!…And then there is always the book that he is writing now that will be coming out next Sept. 2014….wheeze!…So she is trying to think pawsitive and not become so down about crappy-timing…wuffle!

  68. Riö - The Evil Pug
    7:41 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Me!…Not so much…grump!…Sob!sob!Sob! phooey!

  69. Wose
    7:43 pm on August 29th, 2013

    RIO! Lo siento.

    I don’t think I’ll meeting Spence any time too soon either.

  70. BooBear
    7:45 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Hey,Rio. Your friend isn’t taking her mom and Beau there to stay, is she? I don’t think Beau could handle being separated from you and your friend.

  71. Tupper' and Gilly
    7:46 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rio – your friend will be out of town. And she will never know if you leave Pepper’s back yard. So grab your knapsack and head for the highway. You can hitchhike to Denver and go meet Spence yourself.

    Oh wait. No thumbs.


  72. Herd of Hounds
    7:59 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Miz Rose: We are southern ladies and speak accordingly, bless your heart! Mom on the other paw can (and has) make a sailor blush!

  73. Herd of Hounds
    8:07 pm on August 29th, 2013

    All of these military acronyms tonight has made mom wonder if any of the rest of you were tortured with “Ig-pay atin-lay” as children so ya’ll couldn’t understand once ya were able to spell?

  74. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:19 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rose!…If my friend could go, it would be about 70 miles for her to drive from here to see him…sniff!…She would have taken the day off and snooped around her old haunts. He is going to be down where we used to live a long time ago when Cassie the Butt Sniffing Dawg was still with us…wheeze!

  75. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:21 pm on August 29th, 2013

    BooBear!…No, they are going there and then they are coming back a week or so later…sniff!…They would not leave me out at Peppers longer than that….gasp!…I will never be able to survive on just kibble and horse crap longer than a week….gruffle!

  76. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:24 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Tupper!…I have strict instructions not to leave The Farm…sniff!…Pepper will not let me leave. I’ve tried before and failed…grunt!…I think I mentioned that Pepper does have WiFi and I will be able to post on Chet’s blog now and then…sniff!…Beau is supposed to be giving updates too, but he is not a very reliable source when it comes to reporting details or even things in general…grunt!

  77. Herd of Hounds
    8:57 pm on August 29th, 2013

    The Giant and Rio JR?

  78. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:03 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Giant!…I do not see what Sharon is seeing up above…grunt!

  79. Siber-H
    9:08 pm on August 29th, 2013

    I see AJ in the photo and one of the lead dogs. (I think)

    That is a beautiful candle in the picture.

  80. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:14 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Frame!…The frame looks familiar…snort!

  81. Herd of Hounds
    9:17 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Maybe Elim, AJ and JR (with eyebrows). HOH loves foto and tells me some other dog has been near it! Surprise, surprise, surprise!

    Wow, storms all around us tonight, but looks like the Chattanooga Split is working, again.

  82. Riö - The Evil PugP
    9:20 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Prize!…Beau and I may or may not have sneezed on that frame a few times…snuffle!…It sure looks familiar…heh!heh!

  83. Herd of Hounds
    9:20 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rats, no OH, no Melanie, no Staff, no Dawson (recently) and mom tells us it is time for nighty night. So be it. Will catch up in the a.m.

  84. Princess Sam
    9:28 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Help with the picture and whatever else is going on right now.

  85. Melanie
    9:30 pm on August 29th, 2013

    There goes the HOH . . I’m ba-ack!

    Just for a moment. I totally feel like Riö when he is surround by his baseball toys.

    YSAS and LLL are coming up late tomorrow! Woo hoo!

    I am now hitting the hay (wouldn’t it be straw?).
    Malls don’t get along with my feet.

    Caneless for two weeks (or three).

  86. Melanie
    9:31 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Sam! I meant to say a long time ago . . You are one of the wonders of the world.

  87. Riö - The Evil PugP
    9:34 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Oooo Melanie!….It is the best feeling ever, right? Being surrounded by all your baseball toys in all their right places, the best feeling ever!…snort!

  88. Riö - The Evil PugP
    9:35 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Sammie!…No help here. I can’t see the damned thing in candle light…grunt!

  89. Melanie
    9:42 pm on August 29th, 2013

    I know I said I was going to sleep, but then GLAD sent me this. For all the Kats on Chet’s Blog”

  90. Riö - The Evil PugP
    9:48 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Photoz!…grunt!…What is it with photoz tonight? I can’t see Melanie’s either…sniff!

  91. Barb & Maggie
    9:52 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Night all.
    We are not seeing any of the last few pictures. Hope this is not another problem we are encountering.

  92. Princess Sam
    10:12 pm on August 29th, 2013

    I was trying to follow but now I am totally lost. I will go to bed and maybe tomorrow things will be clearer.

  93. Riö - The Evil PugP
    10:21 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rebecca!…I’m sorry to report that Ruff-Biter Teddy has chewed through some wiring on the Bid O’ Matic 30000pos…gasp!…We need you to check your SDD’s as soon as possible…wheeze!…I know you are at the Top O’ The World and internet is iffy…sneeze!…But this is important…yeep!

  94. Staff
    10:25 pm on August 29th, 2013

    HOH I checked my SDD but there was nothing there from you????

  95. dawson
    10:33 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Very cute picture of the Royals.

    There is a Snafu River on the Alaska Highway. Or just off it.
    I love SOS. I did not know FUBAR although I have seen that word in graffiti.

    Congratulations to Melanie for being caneless!

    Princess Sam: You are one of the wonders of the world, that much you should know.

    Head is hitting the pillow here. LizF is waking up. All is right.

  96. SnowBella
    11:05 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Rio: We better stand back. I think it’s going to blow. DUCK FOR COVER!!!

  97. Riö - The Evil PugP
    11:17 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Yeep!…And double Yeep!…gasp!

  98. Riö - The Evil PugP
    11:18 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Teddy!…Have your Paw and Maw check there SDD’s as soon as you can little fellow…wuffle!

  99. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:26 pm on August 29th, 2013

    Tomorrow!…Is another day to fiddle with the explosive Bid O’ Matic 3000pos…grunt!…Too tired tonight and Teddy is probably already asleep on the big bed…heh!heh!…Good night all!

  100. c.hobbit
    1:39 am on August 30th, 2013

    Another road trip back to North Pole. The drugged Sadie did very well. I have a “calming mask” on order and will try that next without drugs.

    Rio: you are handling things much better than I expected. Sobbing but not planning revenge = progress.

  101. c.hobbit
    1:42 am on August 30th, 2013

    Rio: when did you first mention your friend going to Iowa with two pugs? Notice that just today Spence announces his tour dates. Coincidence or conspiracy that youse will be out-of-town?? You tell me. (He might be nervous to meet the evil pug in person; perhaps you should start being nicer and not refer to 1) his shortness and 2) his pointy head)

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