To Fetch A Thief: Chapter One
“I smell trouble,” Bernie said.
Better stop right there. Not that I doubt Bernie. The truth is I believe everything he says. And he has a nice big nose for a human. But what’s that saying? Not much.
It’s a fact that trouble has a smell – human trouble especially, sour and penetrating – but Bernie had never smelled trouble before, or if so he hadn’t mentioned it, and Bernie mentioned all kinds of things to me. We’re partners in the Little Detective Agency, me and Bernie, Bernie’s last name being Little. I’m Chet, pure and simple.
I took a quick sniff, smelled no trouble whatsoever, just as I’d expected, but did smell lots of other stuff, including burgers cooking on a grill. I looked around: no grill in sight, and this wasn’t the time to go searching, although all at once I was a bit hungry, maybe even more than a bit. We were on the job, trailing some woman whose name I’d forgotten. She’d led us out of the Valley to a motel in a flea-bitten desert town. That was what Bernie called it – flea-bitten – but I felt no fleas at all, hadn’t been bothered by them in ages, not since I started on the drops. But the funny thing was, even though I didn’t have fleas, just the thought of them suddenly made me itchy. I started scratching, first behind my ear, soon along my side, then both at once, really digging in with my claws, faster and –
“Chet, for God’s sake.”
I went still, one of my back paws frozen in mid-air. Bernie gave me a close look. “Don’t tell me I forgot
the drops?” I gave him a close look right back. Bernie has these faint lines on his forehead. When he worries, they get deeper, like now. I don’t like it when Bernie worries. I pushed all thoughts about scratching clear out of my mind and sat straight up in the shotgun seat – my very favorite spot – alert and flealess.
We were in the Porsche. There are fancy Porsches out there – we see them on the freeways; we’ve got freeways out the yingyang in the Valley – but ours isn’t one of them. It’s very old, brown with yellow doors, and there’s a bullet hole in the back license plate. How that happened is a story for another time.
There was one palm tree on the street in front of the motel, a small one with dusty leaves, and we were parked behind it. That was part of our stake-out technique, hiding behind trees. Maybe it was our whole technique: I couldn’t think of any other parts at the moment. Beyond the palm tree stood the motel, horseshoe-shaped – just one of the many strange things about horses, that they wore shoes – with parking in between. Two cars in the lot, parked far from each other. One, a red convertible, belonged to the woman we were tailing. The other, a dark sedan, had been there when we arrived.
We gazed at the motel door closest to the red convertible. The woman – short, blond, curvy – had jumped out of the car and gone straight inside. Since then – nothing. That was one of the problems with divorce work: no action. We hated divorce work, me and Bernie – our specialty was missing persons – but with the state of our finances we couldn’t turn down anything. How our finances got this way is a long story, hard to keep straight in my head. Early on, there’d been the Hawaiian pants. Bernie loves Hawaiian shirts – right now he was wearing the one with the trumpet pattern – and he got the idea that people would snap up Hawaiian pants. In the end, they got snapped up by us. We’ve got a closet full of them, plus lots more at our self-storage in Pedroia. Later on came the tin futures. The tin futures looked good after the earthquake in Bolivia, but then the earthquake turned out to be somewhere else, so here we were, back on the divorce beat.
Our client was a sad-eyed little guy named Marvin Winkleman who owned a ticket agency downtown. Don’t ask me what a ticket agency is. What’s important is that he thought his wife was cheating, and coughed up the $500 retainer. Don’t ask me about the cheating part, either. It’s a human thing; we operate differently in my world. “Just find out, one way or another,” Winkleman said. “I’ve got to know.”
Later, driving away, Bernie said, “Why do they always have to know? What’s wrong with ignorance is bliss?” I had no idea.
We sat. Nothing happened. The dusty palm leaves hung motionless. Bernie got fidgety. He opened the glove box, checked behind the visor, patted his pockets. Poor Bernie. He never bought cigarettes anymore, was trying to quit. After a while he gave up, sat back, folded his arms. Bernie has nice strong arms. I kept my eyes on them. Time passed. Then I heard a faint metallic sound and looked out. The motel door opened and out came the blond woman, patting her hair. I glanced at Bernie. Hey! His eyes were closed. I barked, not a loud bark but the soft kind I swallow in my throat. Bernie’s eyelids flew open. He put his hand on me, sat up straight, reached for the camera and took her picture.
The blond woman got in the convertible and checked herself in the mirror. Bernie took another picture. She put on lipstick, gave her mouth a nice stretch. I gave my mouth a nice stretch, too, for no reason. “Looks pretty happy, doesn’t she?” Bernie said. She backed out of her space, drove out of the lot and down the street, away from us. Bernie took pictures of the motel, the blinking sign outside, the palm tree, and me. Then we went back to watching the motel room door. “Maybe there’s no one in there,” Bernie said. “Like she just enjoys a solitary little nap out in the desert now and then, making this a wild goose chase.”
Wild goose chase? I’d heard that one before, wanted to go on a wild goose chase very badly, but there were no geese in sight. Once – was this back when the Hawaiian pants returns started coming in? – I’d heard Bernie say, “our goose is cooked.” But no cooked goose ever appeared. Meanwhile, I was hungry. The smell of burgers on the grill, while not as strong as –
The motel door opened. A man stepped out, a tall man in a white shirt and dark pants, knotting his tie. “Bingo,” said Bernie, I’m not sure why. I knew bingo – a game they played at the Police Athletic League fundraiser, an event I’d been to only once and probably wouldn’t be back to, what with how exciting it turned out to be, and that unfortunate incident with my tail and all those little plastic chips on the chief’s card – but was this a time for games? Bernie aimed the camera at the man, gazed into it, and said, “Oh my God.” He slowly lowered the camera.
The man glanced around in a quick way that reminded me of lots of perps we’d taken down, and walked to the dark sedan at the other end of the motel parking lot.
“Recognize him, Chet?” said Bernie in a low voice.
I wasn’t sure. Nothing wrong with my eyes – although Bernie says I can’t be trusted when it comes to color, so don’t put any money on the convertible being red – but they’re really more of a back-up to my nose and my ears, and the man was too far away for me to get a whiff, plus he wasn’t saying anything. Still, he moved in a way that was kind of familiar, stiff and long-legged, like one of those birds that can’t fly, their name escaping me at the moment. The man unlocked the sedan. “Those software geeks,” Bernie said. “I should have known from the flip-flops. It’s Malcolm.”
Malcolm? This divorce case dude was someone we knew already? I checked those feet: long skinny feet with long skinny toes. I remembered the smell of those feet, somewhat like a big round piece of cheese Bernie had once left outside for a day or two. Yes, Malcolm for sure. I didn’t like Malcolm, even though I like just about every human I’ve ever met, even some of the perps and gangbangers. Malcolm didn’t like me either; he was one of those humans who got nervous around my kind.
Malcolm climbed into his car and drove away. “What the hell are we going to do?” Bernie said. Huh? Weren’t we going to do what we always did when a divorce case worked out like this, which was deliver the evidence, collect the final check, grab a bite somewhere? “Specifically, what are we going to do about Leda?”
Leda? What did …? But then I began to see, sort of. Bernie was divorced himself. He has a kid, Charlie, who we only get to see some weekends and holidays. Charlie mainly lives in a big house in High Chaparral Estates, one of the nicest developments in the whole Valley, with Bernie’s ex-wife, Leda, and her boyfriend. The boyfriend was Malcolm. What else do you need to know? Maybe just that Bernie misses Charlie a lot – and so do I – but he never misses Leda – and neither do I. And then there’s Suzie Sanchez, a reporter for the Valley Tribune and sort of Bernie’s girlfriend. Suzie smells great – kind of like soap and lemons – and has a full box of treats in her car at all times. She’s a gem.
Bernie felt under the seat, found a mangled cigarette, lit up. He took a deep breath, blew out a big smoke cloud. I love the smell, would smoke if I could. His whole body relaxed; I could feel it. I could also feel him thinking, a nice feeling, like breezes brushing by. I waited, my own mind empty and peaceful.
“We could tell her,” he said after a while. “Or not tell her.”
He smoked some more.
“If we tell her, what happens? Something, for sure. If we don’t tell her, maybe nothing happens. Nothing is often the best policy.” Bernie’s hand reached out in that absent-minded way it does sometimes, and gave me a pat. Bernie’s a great patter, the very best. “Still, it’s a time bomb, ticking away. But do all time bombs go off?” Bombs? Bombs were somehow in the picture? Wasn’t this divorce work? I knew bombs, of course, could sniff them out, something I’d learned in K-9 school. I’d done pretty well in K-9 school, up until the very last day. The only thing left had been the leaping test. And leaping is just about my very best thing. Then came some confusion. Was a cat involved? And blood? I ended up flunking out, but that was how Bernie and I got together, so it all worked out great. But forget all that. The point is I can smell bombs, and there was no bomb smell in the air outside the motel. Detective work could be confusing. You had to be patient. “Got to be patient, big guy.” Bernie said that a lot. It meant just sitting, not always so easy.
Bernie took one last drag, then got out of the car and ground the butt into the dirt. He had a thing about forest fires, although there were no forests around out here in the desert, just this palm tree, a few shrubs, rocks, dirt. Bernie turned to me. “Is ignorance bliss? Hits a little closer to home now, doesn’t it, Chet?”
Didn’t quite get that. Were we going home? Fine with me, but shouldn’t we swing by the client first, pick up the check? Otherwise why bother with divorce work?
Bernie got back in the car, started to turn the key, then went still. “And what’s best for Charlie?” he said.
*
We left the desert, rode up and over the mountain pass where the air is always so fresh – I had my head stuck way out – and back into the Valley. The Valley is huge, goes on forever in all directions. The air got less fresh and started shimmering, the sky turning from blue to hazy orange. Bernie’s hands tightened on the wheel. “Imagine what this looked like when Kit Carson rode through,” he said. Kit Carson comes up from time to time. I couldn’t remember what he’d done, but if it was bad we’d bring him down eventually. Message to Kit Carson: an orange jumpsuit is in your future.
The downtown towers appeared, just the tops of them, the rest lost in the haze. Soon we were down in the haze ourselves. We parked in front of one of the towers and went into a coffee shop on the ground floor. No one there except Marvin Winkleman, sitting at a front table and gazing into his coffee cup, head down. Hey! He was one of those comb-over dudes. Love comb-overs! Humans can be very entertaining, no offense.
Winkleman looked up. “You’ve got news?” Human sweat is a big subject, but for now let’s just say the nervous kind has a special tang that travels a long way, very easy to sniff out, and I was sniffing it out now.
Bernie nodded, and took a seat at the table. I sat on the floor beside him.
“Good news or bad?” said Winkleman.
Bernie put the laptop on the table, turned it so Winkleman could see, and plugged in the camera. “These are in sequence,” he said, “time stamped at the bottom left.”
Winkleman looked at the pictures, his face gray in the laptop’s light. His sad eyes got sadder. “Who is he?” he said.
Bernie was silent for a moment. Then he said, “Does it really matter?”
Winkleman thought. His thoughts weren’t like soft breezes, were more like dark shadows that I didn’t want near me. “Guess not,” he said. “What’s the point?” He put his head in his hands. This happens sometimes, maybe like the human head can get to be too much to support.
“Um,” said Bernie. When he feels uncomfortable he bites his lip; he was doing it now. “Do, uh, you have any kids?”
“We were waiting for the right time.” Or something like that: kind of hard to hear, with Winkleman’s hands covering his face.
“Well,” said Bernie. “Then, uh …”
Winkleman uncovered his face. A tear rolled out of one eye. Waterworks: I was always on the lookout for that. Human tears taste salty. I know from this one time Charlie cried after he fell off his bike, and I licked his face. I had no desire to lick Winkleman’s face. “You’re telling me things could be worse?” he said.
“Maybe a cliché,” Bernie said. “Not very helpful, in retrospect.”
Winkleman wiped away the tear. “Sorry,” he said. “Crazy to take it out on the messenger.” He opened his checkbook. “How much do I owe you?”
Bernie checked his watch. “Today doesn’t count as a full day.” Oh, Bernie. “Let’s call it eight hundred.”
Winkleman handed over the check. “Got any kids yourself?” he said.
“One.”
Winkleman reached into his pocket, produced a big wad of tickets, gave Bernie two. “Here,” he said. New tears welled up in his eyes, trembled at the edge of the lower lids. “Kids like the circus.”
Bernie rose. At that moment I noticed a little something on the floor. I couldn’t think of the name of that little something for the longest time, not until after I’d snapped it up and swallowed it down. Croissant: that was it. Not the sausage and egg kind, which I’d had once behind a Dumpster at the North Valley Mall, but still: delish, and I’d been hungry since the stake-out. Could have downed another croissant, in fact, and maybe even another after that.
“Chet? You coming?”
We headed for the door. Just as we went out, I glanced back and saw Winkleman standing by a trash receptacle. He took the gold ring off his finger and dropped it inside. Bernie had a gold ring that looked just the same. He kept it in a drawer in the office. I came very close to having a big thought, but it didn’t quite come.
*
The phone buzzed just as Bernie started up the car. Bernie had the phone rigged so the voice came through the speakers. “Bernie? Amy here.” I knew Amy. She was the vet. A nice woman, big and round, with soft hands, but I never liked going to the vet. “I’ve got the lab report on that lump.” Bernie leaned forward.
Tags: To Fetch A Thief
This entry was posted on Thursday, September 23rd, 2010 at 9:08 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
4:38 am on September 23rd, 2010
ARRRRGGGGGG!!!
Just a taste and I'm hooked and I have to wait and it isn't fair and I want to read the whole thing in one sitting and I want to dole it out like Staff and I'm WHINING!
Jeez, I never whine and I'm WHINING!
4:44 am on September 23rd, 2010
I'm savoring the anticipation.
4:57 am on September 23rd, 2010
Melanie, Are you still talking pirate?
Loved getting a glimpse into TFAT. Can't wait to actually have it here!
5:13 am on September 23rd, 2010
Good morning Melanie, FK, B&G and all. "'I smell trouble,' Bernie said." That was the first sentence that Spence gave us on the blog when he started TFAT. Five more days everyone.
Melanie: I think you're really funny when you're whining!
Spence: Is there a first sentence yet on the fourth Chet and Bernie mystery?
5:28 am on September 23rd, 2010
Some of us were lucky to have read the book already. But those of us with Kindles, B., Sam's Mom, and my Mom, will have the book waiting for us when we wake up on the morning of the 28th.
Mom wants to wait until the 27th to read this first chapter and then dive into the book the next day.
5:37 am on September 23rd, 2010
Heh!…The best thing is it just gets better and better…. snort!
5:39 am on September 23rd, 2010
Astrid!….I’m starting to think she was a Red Herring….chorkel !
5:47 am on September 23rd, 2010
Wookie!… Please check your scrambled decoder secret mission calibration reactor gizmo….grunt!
5:49 am on September 23rd, 2010
Five more days of listening to Riö brag.
Sigh.
5:56 am on September 23rd, 2010
Melanie!… You think I have been bragging?? ….snort!…Here’s me thinking that I have restrained myself very well so far – but that can change in a blink of a bugged out eye, let me tell you little missy!…grunt!
5:59 am on September 23rd, 2010
Rio is right though. It does get better. The best yet.
6:15 am on September 23rd, 2010
Riö, you better restrain yourself! Goats, goats, goats! Think of the wild goats climbing that dam, you tell anything and even Rocky the undercover squirrel won't be able to save you!
BTW, Rockie's explanation of the bed bug convention was great. We should think of a booth for you. A giant Bed Bug? And have you checked the credit card yet?
6:21 am on September 23rd, 2010
I think Rio has restrained himself quite admirably. I know that I'm going to want to make comments as I read it. Will it be okay if I put SPOILER ALERT before a comment or question?
6:22 am on September 23rd, 2010
Melanie!…Don’t Goat me or I will bleet out the ending and ruin it for all of you!…snicker!
6:53 am on September 23rd, 2010
B.STover: A Civilized person. A person of Note. A person who Cares.
Riö: A werepug!
I hope we can comment while reading. I'm counting on it. Perhaps people could post a spoiler alert PLUS where they are in the novel.
Example: Spoiler Alert, page 25 I really wonder if Riö has joined the circus or not.
Snicker! Love you pug!
6:57 am on September 23rd, 2010
I won't read Chet's post today because I am WAITING ON THE BOOK!
When we last left Chet and Bernie, they were on their way to LA. I'm sure they arrived days ago and have had time to eat hundreds of In and Out Burgers, go surfing, tour Universal Studios, take a guided tour of the Stars homes, visit the tar pits, attend a movie premier or two, make the boat trip to Catalina Island, and go deep sea fishing. I'm sure I left some things out to see and do in LA.
I'm just joking because I am happily entertained by anything Chet posts. I really won't read today's post because there is an off chance I will remember it, and I want the book to be all brand new to me when I start it.
It is possible that Bernie could sell some Hawaiian pants in LA
7:10 am on September 23rd, 2010
It must be killing Rio to be restrained about the book. Ha Ha. It's good for him, that insufferable little Pug.
7:10 am on September 23rd, 2010
We plan to read the book all the way through in one setting, so spoiler alerts will be fine with us. I have the day planned…dog park, my breakfast, go to B&N to buy TFAT, and then come home and read TFAT.
7:19 am on September 23rd, 2010
Oh Boy! Thanks Spence! I'm not sure if I will be restrained enough to read a chapter or two a day with the inmates, or if I'll greedily read the whole thing at once and then read it again with them. Either way, great beginning.
7:36 am on September 23rd, 2010
I like Melanie's idea: Spoiler alert with page number. I know that I won't read the entire novel in one sitting.
SH: LOL — Of course, within the context of the blog story, Chet and Bernie are right where we left them. I used to go scuba diving off of Catalina.
7:40 am on September 23rd, 2010
Arrrggggg is right. Just enough to get your appetite going, then discovering that the dish is empty. I hate when that happens. The pups will eat the kibble right out from under me if I am not careful. No way are we going to read one chapter at a time. We are glutinous.
Did anyone ever hear anything about the signed copies? I e-mailed Spence about them, but never heard back.
In-and-Out is coming to Fort Worth. I don't know the details, just caught a glimpse of the news. Mom had better be planning on loading up the pack and we hope the burgers are as good as we have heard and not that it is a local taste like those White Castle thingys that were more like onion sandwiches.
7:43 am on September 23rd, 2010
Mom notes that Leda and Charlie are quite similar to the mother and son in "The Fan" and the ones in "Last of the Dixie Heroes" which she had not read when she started the Chet and Bernie stories.
7:51 am on September 23rd, 2010
Min Pin!…heh! snort! heh!….Spence did a whole post on the signed copies…grunt!…Don't tell me you only read every other post?….snort!
7:54 am on September 23rd, 2010
B.Stover a scuba diver!!! Wow. Now I don't know if I want to Ingrid when I grow up or B.Stover.
8:01 am on September 23rd, 2010
Melanie: LOL — Scuba diving was lots of fun. I remember swimming above a stingray once, following him, and ending up in a cave. The only problem with scuba diving was that you had to get "there" by boat and I always got seasick. And getting seasick in full scuba gear is not fun. I used to do synchronized swimming also. Both done when I was younger and stronger…almost a lifetime ago.
8:11 am on September 23rd, 2010
Macy: Go to Search Chetthedog.com (under the list of tags above), type "signed copies" in the box, then click on the post of August 18, "Signed Copies of To Fetch a Thief." It gives complete instructions on where and how to get one.
8:16 am on September 23rd, 2010
B.Stover: I am impressed. I think scuba diving would be very cool.
8:17 am on September 23rd, 2010
B.Stover: I took scuba in college but couldn't go on the big trip because I was pregnant (7 months) with OTAS. I did pass the course, though they had to put 60 pounds of weights on me just to get me to sink.
I was told by the older members of my ex's side of the family, that the baby would be born with gills.
I thought that would have been pretty cool. But it didn't happen!
I was a skin diver (snorkle, facemask and flippers) for a long time until we moved out here. The river is not conductive to that hobby.
8:19 am on September 23rd, 2010
Totally cool post, Chet! Thanks for the glimpse.
8:29 am on September 23rd, 2010
Melanie: I was living in California at the time and there, in order to rent scuba gear, you had to be certified. We had a written and a practical test. For the practical we had to stand at the edge of a swimming pool holding all of the gear, including the tanks, then jump in and put everything on underwater. First thing–put in mouth piece and turn on oxygen. Fun. I've been skin diving but found that there was more freedom in scuba. Does your oldest know that he may have been born with gills?
8:46 am on September 23rd, 2010
B.Stover: I have told him about that, he just looked at me. My guys spend a lot of time "looking" at me. They have my sense of humor, though they do deadpan much better. I can't help snickering.
RIÖ: just got your pun from 11:22 am. I seem to be slow today. Sigh
8:57 am on September 23rd, 2010
My mom and dad went scuba diving once off of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia (took what is called a resort course) when they were there several years ago. The just loved it. Of course, there is the story of my dad wandering off from the rest of the group underwater to do exploring on his own, but we'll save that for another time. Wookie
9:12 am on September 23rd, 2010
Wookie: Wandering off while scuba diving is never a good idea.
I've been thinking about werepug. "Wer" is Old English for man, so like the werewolf, werepug would sometimes be man and sometimes be pug, depending on the phase of the moon. Pondering.
9:15 am on September 23rd, 2010
There are three season premieres on tonight: Bones, Fringe and The Mentalist.
9:31 am on September 23rd, 2010
Can't wait for the 28th!!! What a cool beginning to the book. We see Leda causing Bernie lots of problems with Susie when this all comes out!! And now we know how a circus becomes part of the story.
B., my kindle came today. Had it mailed to work so it wouldn't get lost or taken (by accident, of course) from the mailbox. Mom has been a victim of postal theft before. Now we have to learn how to work it so we can order TFAT for the 28th. Then the 3rd, it's off to see SQ and get an autographed real book!
As Chet says, it can't get any better than this!
9:46 am on September 23rd, 2010
Mr. Pug, Mom was on vacation on August 18, riding a train in New Mexico. No computer, don't be such a hard….head.
9:50 am on September 23rd, 2010
Anyone other than Rio, I do not see a search box. Where do I need to go? (quiet pug, I heard that)
9:51 am on September 23rd, 2010
Min Pin!….Soooo the concept of catching up didn’t occur to her when she got back from vacation?….grunt! … Don’t start with the name calling Miss Pin – I’m in a Werepug kind of mood and apt to get feisty…. heh!
9:56 am on September 23rd, 2010
Would someone please explain to the pug that in order to be name calling, you have to be calling someone a name.
Mom finds that reading a week's worth of posts is headache inducing.
9:56 am on September 23rd, 2010
ok, ok, so hard head is a name. I meant "don't be so hard headed".
9:57 am on September 23rd, 2010
{{ head slap!}}… snicker!….oh, my goodness, Min Pin is always a day late and a search box short…. snort!
10:00 am on September 23rd, 2010
*sniff* you hurt my feelings.
Mom is going on a road trip the first weekend in October. Now if she can just talk dad into going all the way to Houston…..
10:24 am on September 23rd, 2010
Our Angie caught me and my "tiny pups" napping.
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1285269866-minpins.jpg[/img]
10:28 am on September 23rd, 2010
Macy: On the right of the screen are the "recent posts" then "tags." Under that is Peter Abramhams.com (in orange) and under that is the search box–Search Chetthedog.com. Type "signed books" (without the quotation marks) in the white search box.
10:29 am on September 23rd, 2010
Macy, scroll up to the top of this page. The search box is there right underneath Peter Abrahams name.
10:31 am on September 23rd, 2010
G&BB: Great!! The Kindle. You can order books right on the Kindle at the Kindle Store. I usually do all my ordering at amazon.com on my computer. Either way, TFAT will be delivered to your Kindle (even if it's turned off) by Whispernet on Sept. 28.
10:32 am on September 23rd, 2010
Got it Bee, thanks. Yes, then Mom discovered that she was going to be down towards Houston the day before PSQA is to appear there. Doubtful if dad will be willing to drive back after a 2 pm signing on a work night. MOM HERE…*sigh*
10:38 am on September 23rd, 2010
G & BB – Charge up the Kindle. While you're waiting, go to Amazon, Your Account, (page down to Digital Content) and click on Manage Your Kindle. Amazon will already have your Kindle registered. Then you go to the book section for TFAT, and click on the Kindle version. It will magically arrive on the 28th. Be sure to have the Wireless turned on.
10:46 am on September 23rd, 2010
Mollypop: Items download on my Kindle even when it's off. When I turn it on and go to Kindle Store there is a message in the bottom left corner saying "Items downloaded." Isn't that what happens on new versions?
10:54 am on September 23rd, 2010
Molly!…Are you still playing that same game on Book Worm??….snort!
10:56 am on September 23rd, 2010
B. – Items will download when the Kindle is off, but not when the wireless is off.
10:59 am on September 23rd, 2010
Rio – Mom is still playing that same game and she got in trouble last night. A fire Z came down and looks like trouble. She has to take a picture of it and get it out here so you can all help. This time it might be curtains. Score is now over 5,800,000 so Mom was hoping to hit 6 million.
11:05 am on September 23rd, 2010
Molly!….Put up a photo. We will help you! Won’t we Stover?? …snort!snort!
11:16 am on September 23rd, 2010
Absolutely! We have to help Mollypop get to six million!
I didn't realize the wireless had to be on. I guess when I turn the wireless on it downloads even though I may have placed the order earlier. I'll check next time to see if it takes a minute before downloading.
11:22 am on September 23rd, 2010
This pic is not very good because of the daylight, but here goes. The fire Z is what we have to get rid of before it hits bottom.
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1285273291-bookworm.jpg[/img]
11:28 am on September 23rd, 2010
Mom did the pic even though we're getting ready for company – and they're staying until Sunday! She was going to get our Special Blog Team's help then, but now is probably better.
11:33 am on September 23rd, 2010
Unless Rio or anyone sees something else, at this point I'd suggest making "flue" using the green L. We'll hope the new letters that appear will then help.
11:37 am on September 23rd, 2010
Mollypop: We can do this on Sunday so that you don't feel rushed.
11:43 am on September 23rd, 2010
Mollypop: Zhou is the name of a Chinese dynasty – can you use capitalized words?
11:44 am on September 23rd, 2010
Last night I suggested flue to Mom, but she was too scared to have the fire Z drop down some more. She said it would be better to go to bed – so we did.
12:44 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Macy: What are you asking regarding the signed copies?
11:49 am on September 23rd, 2010
Dawson's suggestion is brilliant. If Bookworm won't accept the word it will simply reject it but everything on the board will stay the same.
11:49 am on September 23rd, 2010
A zafu is a round cushion – (for use in zen meditation -either a chinese or japanese word).
12:02 pm on September 23rd, 2010
What a stupid game! It won't allow zhou or zafu. Stupid game.
12:04 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Okay. I think we should wait until Sunday. We can all ponder this in the meantime.
12:11 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Zow!…This is a tough one!…grunt!
12:23 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Zee!…Do we have to use the Z?….snort!…Or can we try to find other words and hope for the best?….grunt!
12:29 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Rio: We have to use the Z before it gets to the bottom of the column. Even if we make other words in other columns the Z will keep falling one tile at a time. I think we can only hope for new tiles near the Z that will help make a word with Z.
12:57 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Molly!…I’ve got It!… snort!snort!… Try “HAZAN” … This is an official of a Jewish synagogue!..wheeze!
1:05 pm on September 23rd, 2010
If "hazan" isn't accepted, I'd do "final"–the f in the third column from left, the i and n under the z. That will get more new tiles around the z. Could we be lucky enough to then get an n and c nearby for "zinc"?
1:05 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Rio: Good one!
Macy MinPin: That's a cute picture of you and your pups all curled up in a row.
1:10 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Word!…It is in the dictionary, I bet it will take it!…snort!snort!…I can't wait for Molly to try it…sniff!…But she has company and might not get back to us in awhile…drat!
1:25 pm on September 23rd, 2010
We haven't been by the computer much today, but are trying to catch up on the posts. We did hear Rockie's update on the Summit in Chicago. Hope you didn't pay him too much, Rio.
Wookie, we are reading The Fallen Man and enjoying it. Did you read that one?
1:29 pm on September 23rd, 2010
MagPie!… What gets me is there were Bed Bugs in their hotel room!….snort!…How ironic is that? And then they were dumb enough to get into a poker game with those clever bugs and lose all their money….grumble!
1:31 pm on September 23rd, 2010
It looks as if they may be shipping TFAT early. I placed an order with Amazon last night and it is already enroute.
Smile.
1:35 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Stupid game. No go on HAZEN.
B. – What do you think about using the scramble option?
1:50 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Using scramble is what I'd do.
2:02 pm on September 23rd, 2010
What! Hazan is in my Webster's.
2:05 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Mollypop: you could start in the right hand upper corner and make the word saw – then the e will hopefully drop down so that you can make the word zaffre which is a color.
2:05 pm on September 23rd, 2010
MPop and B, thanks for the user friendly instructions for the Kindle. Mom will start it charging when she gets home. She's trying to decide if TFAT should be her first Kindle book in honor of the plunderers or if she should buy another book first to make sure she has it set up right.
2:06 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Maybe. It is in the dictionary but that doesn't seem to matter.
2:08 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Hazan is in the dictionary but it's probably in italics because it's a foreign word.
2:12 pm on September 23rd, 2010
I think Dawson's suggestion of zaffre will work.
2:28 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Mom is busy so I brought up Webster's Dictionary. It says hazan is a word but zaffre isn't.
2:35 pm on September 23rd, 2010
My Webster's has zaffer/zaffre. It says,"yellow copper, brass – a mixture of impure oxides of cobalt, used in making smalt and as a blue pigment in ceramic glazes, glassmaking, etc.
2:40 pm on September 23rd, 2010
I'm using Webster's New World College Dictionary Third Edition, Copyright 1996.
2:47 pm on September 23rd, 2010
What happens if you scramble, could the fiery Z maybe end up on the bottom row? Yikes!
3:03 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Hazan is in the Random House dictionary but it's in italics because it's Hebrew and hasn't been absorbed into everyday English. Zaffre is also there and refers to a sapphire.
Scramble will change the entire board. The red Z will still be there and will fall at least one tile down and there will be other red tiles. I usually find that scramble works because the new tiles allow for a word to be made with the problem tile. The gamble is that there will be too many new red tiles.
3:13 pm on September 23rd, 2010
So I say try s-a-w, then the z tile will drop down one space, try the zaffre word. If it isn't a word, no harm no foul. We will think of another word then, or scramble.
Easy for me to say, because I don't have a 6 million point score on the line!
3:14 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Jeez, I tried playing Bookworm again and got 54,000. I'm not trying anymore.
This came in my email!!!!
Amazon.com items (Sold by Amazon.com, LLC) :
1 To Fetch a Thief: A Chet a…
Shipped via USPS
3:17 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Hey everybody! Mom says her library got TFAT today, but it's still embargoed for next Tuesday, so it's just waiting on the shelf in the back room until then. But Mom has already signed people up for the book, so it'll go out as soon as it's entered in the computer!
3:18 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Macy: I hate to tell you this, but those pups are as big or bigger than you! Very cute though.
Went to the acupuncturist today. I need more bioflavonoids. Snicker. . You guys that are drinking the red wine are doing life right! Jonathan and I just looked at each other and laughed. So I'm drinking purple grape juice (yuck) and taking buffered C with bioflavonoids also drinking Buckwheat tea. Sounds just grand. (Gagging here)
The things we do for health . . .
3:18 pm on September 23rd, 2010
MOLLY!….Not HAZEN!…. HAZAN!….crap!
3:22 pm on September 23rd, 2010
OH!… I panicked there!…snort!…I guess you guys have tried it that way too and it didn't work…sniff!
3:45 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Mollypop: Here's another solution. Work another part of the board and let the Z drop to third tile from the bottom. My game lets me use "zin." I just used it.
3:52 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Hmmm!…. Once again she over there is watching Last Chance Highway…snort!…I’m beginning to think she is addicted to it now. All those other Guys make me jealous….crap!…Soon the baseball team will be on and we are both very worried about our guys on the field tonight…sob!…What if they lose again???? …sob!
3:54 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Yes, Melanie, my girls are both longer and taller than me. I am very glad that they started out as tiny little things.
Dad is always ordering things from Amazon.com because he has free shipping, which in his mind means he must buy more things. Maybe he will order TFAT for us.
4:15 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Melanie: I've been playing for (what seems like) hours and I'm up to 40,000. I quit, too. My eyes are bugging out.
4:16 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Macy, my mom thinks the same way about Amazon…Free Shipping!!
Rio, you are going to have me sobbing about the Rockies and their difficulties in Phoenix. There has to be a reason why the Rockies don't do well there…poison vapors that the Snakes are immune to, or something. Ok, I'm grasping at straws here, but it is strange.
4:16 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Macy, that is a great picture of you and your family. All cuddled up sleeping – so cute.
4:17 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Dawson: I'm glad that I am not the only one . .
4:40 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Wookie! SiberH!….We are stealing ourselves tonight against another loss… snuffle!…Every game counts Big Time…grunt!
4:41 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Perhaps!…"Steeling" would have been a better word!…grump!
4:41 pm on September 23rd, 2010
I am in the same boat as Dawson and Melanie. But once I start it is really hard to leave off. I play online though and can't save the game for later. I am too cheap to buy it for myself.
4:59 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Clap! clap! clap-clap-clap! Go Rockies!
5:04 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Thanks Dawson…maybe Dawson can make a difference for the Rockies.
5:05 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Amazon delivered here in the land of no jobs today as well, DOI and TFAT hardcovers are mine, baby! all mine! No more library copies for me. Yep, yep, yep. It doesn't get any better than this.
5:07 pm on September 23rd, 2010
What! Jasper you got your TFAT already?
5:12 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Wow!….Jasper has the Best Book Ever in his paws!…Holy Cow!…snort!snort!… How did that happen????…..Wooooo!
5:13 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Dawson!…Thanks for your support!…grunt!…It seems we need all we can get for some reason in the Arizona Snake Pit!…growl!
5:23 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Rio and SiberH.: All part of my plan to see Detroit and Colorado play in the World Series. Come on, Rockies! Clapity-clapity-clap!
5:27 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Alert, alert, alert…..Dad just told mom that he wants to go to the Houston signing. MOM IS GOING TO MEET PSQA!!!!! She needs a badge and one for dad too. I'm twirling, I'm twirling, even though I don't get to go, I am super excited for mom. She is willing to wait until Oct. 3 to get hers, because she is getting it signed, AND paw printed. eeeeeeeeeeeeee, can you tell we are excited?
5:30 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Dawson!….Heh!snort!Heh!… Whatever it takes! Hey! The Rockies just scored!…wooooo!…Tonights the night!to break the curse of losing!…heh!
5:33 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Way to go Macy!
5:33 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Macy, you must put your picture up on the blog so I can steal it for your badges.
5:35 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Min Pin!….WOOOOOW!…WOOOOW!… I am seriously excited for you! …snort!…WOOOOW!….Oh, my heart!…snort!… How amazing that you are really going!…Hey! Maybe you can meet with Puss N’ Boots’ people while you are there!…ZOWIE! ….Staff will need to make you an ID Card!…wheeze!…Oh she is already on top of it!…Yeaaaaa!
5:38 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Macy MinPin: Oooh. Your mom and dad are sooo lucky. I'm really happy for them.
5:39 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Good going, Macy! I didn't get to go either, but Mom enjoyed meeting PA/SQ, so I was happy in absentia!
5:43 pm on September 23rd, 2010
AbbietheKitty..I will have a picture up tomorrow. Mom wants to take a new one out in the yard.
I am afraid mom will not get to sleep tonight, and she has to be at The Big Orange Box at 6 am.
Down mom, down. Staaay. Sleep, no I said sleep not skip.
Oh well she is going to try to go to sleep.
Macy out.
5:50 pm on September 23rd, 2010
OK Macy,
I will get them made either tomorrow evening or Saturday.
I am trying to think what to add to it so people know you have a block on the quilt too.
Any ideas anyone?
right now they look like this. But I could add a line about the quilt.
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1285296623-4925624970_344c201613_z.JPG[/img]
5:50 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Fun!…We will have at least two certified Plunderers at the next scheduled book signing event!…snort!…Is this awesome or what!…heh!… One day maybe in the far distant future someone here will be that lucky….doubtful!
Crap!…Arizona is up one run one us now during all that excitement over Min Pin!…derrrrr!
5:52 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Great news, Macy!!! I'm happy for your folks! I hope your mom can get some sleep tonight.
And, Jasper got TFAT early!!
Can we hope, Rio, that all this good news means the Rockies will win tonight.
5:53 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Dawson needs to do some more clapping.
I am off to bed soon.
See you all tomorrow
5:56 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Only certified Plunderes get the badge…How cool is that!
5:59 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Staff!… After Plunder On (which I love!), maybe something simple like “Quilt Member – September 2010”….snuff??… “T-FAT Quilt Member – Sept. 2010”…. Or perhaps, “I know Rio”…heh!…Just kidding (that would get you thrown Out!) …snort! heh!…. Maybe just “Quilt Member”….grunt!
6:03 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Clap! Clap! Clap-clap-clap! Need a double play here.
6:04 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Right now Mom's listening to The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie during her commute. Has anyone read it? Mom's only a little way into the book, but she says the main character, Flavia de Luce, reminds her a lot of Ingrid. She's 11 and very smart and spunky. Flavia has a bike she has named Gladys, which makes Mom smile because that was Mom's grandmother's name!
6:06 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Kirby: I like the title. Haven't heard of it.
Crap! No more clapping when the snakes are batting. I'm holding my breath.
6:09 pm on September 23rd, 2010
CRAP!…WE HATE SNAKES!…grrrrrr!
6:14 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Gruff!….Thank Gawd there is not a team called "THE GOATS"….snort!…We hate Goats too!…dammit!…sob!sob!…Now I am saying powerful Pug Prayers and trying to concole my friend….sniffle….They can do this, they can come back from the slump they are in at the worst time of their lives …groan!…It is only the top of the 5th anyways…sob!
6:14 pm on September 23rd, 2010
CRAP…I go outside to pee and when I come back the Snakes have scored another run. I may have to go outside again…to barf.
6:17 pm on September 23rd, 2010
I'm afraid my Angels have tanked this season, so right now I've pinned my hoped on my Hawkeyes, although my special collar didn't do the trick last weekend. We haven't started conference play yet, though, so we still have high hopes there. One more non-conference game Saturday — Ball State — then we hit the Big Ten lineup.
In the meantime, I'll root for the Rockies!!!
6:20 pm on September 23rd, 2010
How about just an icon for the quilt – like a pic of the Plunder ON square or something?
6:21 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Thanks, Kirby, The Rockies need all the help they can get.
I assure your team of one win…just tell them to come to NM and play the Lobos.
6:25 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Kirby!…Bless your heart guy!…sob!…We need all the support we can get right now!…dammit!… 3 – 2 Snakes…grump!
Fatty!…That is a good idea, I wonder if the Badge Technology can handle .jpegs…heh! …Have to leave that to your big Sis!…grunt!
6:25 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Siber-H: These days, I'm not sure we could even pull that off!
6:26 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Trust me, Kirby, you could.
6:27 pm on September 23rd, 2010
SiberH!…Now I have to Pee big time and she won't bugdge till the inning is over!…yeep!
6:29 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Well, Rio, I know how to teach her a lesson about making you hold your pee.
6:35 pm on September 23rd, 2010
I think Rio knows that already. I seem to recall a story…unless I'm getting you mixed up with some other doggie, Rio.
6:37 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Plant!…I could use the backside of that corner Plant….heh…Well, that’s only in emergencies and if I keep whining she will get the idea very soon, I hope…groan!
6:39 pm on September 23rd, 2010
I always find when I leave the ball game something exciting happens. If she took you outside maybe Gillespie would hit a home run.
6:40 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Wait! We don't want Gillespie to hit a home run. Strike out!
6:42 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Two strikes, two balls, two outs …ugh!…A hit and a Run!….Crap,,,It is 5 – 2 Snakes…WE are going outside now to pee and cool off (maybe)….GROWL!
6:47 pm on September 23rd, 2010
We are going to sleep now. Please, please, please, when I wake up in the morning and look at the sports section, let it be good news.
Good Night Friends! If you have a bed bug problem, don't call Rockie and his hillbilly gang because they have gone missing.
6:48 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Grump!…We came in an now the Rockies are behind 7 – 2….YELP!…Gasp!
6:53 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Rio and Siber-H: Your Rockies have been through some major rallies, so don't give up hope yet — just put on your rally caps!!!
6:55 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Egad. I think I am bad luck. I will start rooting for the Snakes and that will be the end of them. Better yet, go to bed. Good luck, Rio, Patron Pug of the Rockies.
6:57 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Grump!….Even Giambi is struck out by the Snakes…snuffle…This is bad. We need one of those amazing rallies where they come from behind….snort!…Like NOW or even the ninth inning would be very welcome!…sneeze!
7:00 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Kirby!…Our Rally Caps are on!…heh!
7:06 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Sheesh! I go to watch the Mentalist and the Snakes have been scoring like crazy. Rockies have got to put their come-from-behind hats on, big time. Come on, Rockies, you can do it!
7:15 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Well, they got out of the 6th relatively unscathed. Now let's go Rockies — get them bats movin'!!!
7:19 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Breath Normally! Breath!….It is only top of the 7th inning…Gasp! …. It is good you guys did not know us during the 2007 World Series…chorkel!….You can ask Spencer about that little episode in baseball history. I think he actually remembers those games…grunt!
Score!…Snakes 8 – 2 …gag! … Top of the 7th. (hope reigns true!)…sigh!
7:31 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Oooooohh! Bases loaded — go team!
7:32 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Grand Slam!!!
7:32 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Wow!!! Rio, you still there???
7:40 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Gonzales hit the grand slam making it 8 to 6 for the Slimy Snakes. Rockies can do this!
7:44 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Don't know how much longer I can last — it's nearly quarter to one my time. My eyes are closing, BOTH ears are drooping, and my tail started dragging an hour ago! I'd like to see this game through to the end, but I may not make it!!!
7:46 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Four steps forward, one step back. C'mon guys!!!
7:49 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Kirby T.: I'll stick it out for the team because I can sleep in tomorrow. I'm hoping the Rockies are inspired by that grand slam. It's 9 – 6 now with that snakes solo homer. Two more at bats for the Rockies.
7:52 pm on September 23rd, 2010
one,two,three – Ouch.
7:53 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Dawson: Well, if you're going to stick it out, I think I may call it a night. Mom has to work tomorrow, so she'll be up early and I know she'll wake me up! Has Rio given up the ghost?
G'night!
7:54 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Good night Kirby.
8:13 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Crapola! Another solo home run for the snakes. Now the Rockies need 4 to tie, 5 to win – Last inning now. Snakes 10 Rockies 6.
8:17 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Yikes!
Bases are loaded and guess who's up? Gonzalez!!! Go Rockies!!!
8:20 pm on September 23rd, 2010
He singles! Scores Two! Then Steals second! One Out! Snakes 10 Rockies 6. Go Rockies!!
8:24 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Tulowitski sacrifices to score one. Snakes 10 Rockies 9. Two Out.
Come On Rockies!!!
8:34 pm on September 23rd, 2010
Oh Phooey. Struck Out. Game Over. The Rockies sure gave it a good try. (Sob.Sob.) They always make it worth watching.
Oh, my post at 1:20 was supposed to be Snakes 10 Rockies 8. This was a real heartbreaker, Rio, but you can be proud of your team. Especially Gonzalez.
12:06 am on September 24th, 2010
Let’s hope it works!!!
4:17 am on September 24th, 2010
Bad baseball night here too. This is not the time to go all flaky guys. Magic number <code> still </code> at 4 and we are playing the blasted A's, our arch nemesis.
1:04 am on November 1st, 2011
light and sound machine, brain machine,meditation…
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