Stakes and Steaks, Kind of Confusing

“One other thing,” Bernie said, “since the subject of horses has come up.”

“Bernie,” said Lt. Stine. “The knife, please.”

Yes, the knife, and also what about the gold bar? Did that come after the knife? It was starting to get fuzzy.

“I’d like to hear the one more thing,” Suzie said.

“Yeah?” said Bernie, looking pleasantly surprised. “Well, it’s just that today’s the Belmont Stakes, my favorite of the Triple Crowns.” 

“Oh,” said Suzie.

“Want to know why?” Bernie said.

“Not particularly,” said Lt. Stine.

“Because it’s the longest – a mile and a half. And today’s kind of special because Calvin Borel has a chance to win the Triple Crown while riding different horses.”

“Oh,” said Suzie.

“There used to be a lot of big-time Cajun jockeys like Calvin Borel, but now they’re mostly from Latin America. Want to know why?”

“Does it matter what I want?” said Lt. Stine.

“It’s because all jockeys riding in the USA have to be 16 now. Kids still ride on bush tracks in Central America so they grow up with an advantage. Tell you what? How about we all head over to the Dry Gulch and watch on the big screen?”

“Think I’ll pass,” Lt. Stine said.

“That sounds nice,” said Suzie.

I myself was already at the door. Ever tried the steak tips at the Dry Gulch Steakhouse and Saloon? Just once and you’ll never forget.


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This entry was posted on Saturday, June 6th, 2009 at 8:19 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “Stakes and Steaks, Kind of Confusing”

  1. B. Stover
    3:58 am on June 6th, 2009

    I know you think horses are prima donnas, Chet, but they are beautiful to watch when they're running (or pacing or trotting if they're Standard Breds). Enjoy the race and the steak.

  2. Diane Brodson
    3:13 am on June 7th, 2009

    When I think of horse racing, I think of Barbaro.

  3. SarahKate
    5:30 am on June 8th, 2009

    Diane – "Barbaro's Laws of Veterinary Practice":

    The Barbaro Effect, Part One: You'd better have that size of budget if your horse gets sick or injured. If you don't have it, and you can't find it, "it's because you don't love your horse enough."

    The Barbaro Effect, Part Deux: No matter how much money you throw at it, the horse is going to die anyway.

    These seem to be the guiding principles of equine veterinary medicine practice today and were developed to separate from owners and breeders (esp. racing owners/breeders) all purses and place them in the loving custody of equine veterinarians.

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