Rube Goldberg Rides Again
Bernie’s in a real bad mood about this oil spill, fit to be tied, he says. Don’t worry: no one’s tying up Bernie, not while I’m around, and I’m around, better believe it. Not even Elvis gospel is cheering him up. Giant plumes? Plugs made of golf balls and old tires? Not getting this, myself. Repost from May 2:
“Bernie’s not happy today, something about an oil spill. Not sure what that is, exactly. Once on the freeway – we’ve got freeways out the yingyang in the Valley – we saw a tanker truck flip over and oil got spilled all over the place that day, but I think this is different.
“These BOP’s,” he is saying, “blowout preventers – they sure look like Rube Goldberg devices to me. And now it’s up to robotic subs to make the damn thing work? If they can’t do better than that they shouldn’t be allowed to drill so deep.”
Hard to follow, but Rube Goldberg had to be a perp of some kind. There was Rube Double X, of course, this rapper we once worked bodyguard duty for, but he was no perp, in fact a great guy who liked me and my kind, and to this day I have no idea what happened to that gold-nugget chain of his. No reason anyone would want bury it in a flower bed. Hey! Except maybe to keep it from getting lost. How come I just thought of that now? Life was funny sometimes.”
Elvis just sang Milky White Way, our favorite. Bernie tapped his foot a bit. Love when he does that. Can’t stop myself from pawing at his foot while it’s tapping. So why even try?
Happy Birthday, Dad.
Tags: Elvis gospel, golf balls, Milky White Way, Rube Goldberg
This entry was posted on Sunday, May 16th, 2010 at 8:53 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
4:16 am on May 16th, 2010
I think everyone is fit to be tied regarding this oil spill, Chet. (Now I'm wondering where we got that expression.) Keep pawing his foot; it will make him feel a bit better.
Happy Birthday SQ/PA's dad.
5:05 am on May 16th, 2010
Absolutely NOTHING beats reading Chet's musings. We love it!
Hate the oil spill problem. Hope they get it figured out quick.
happy Birthday to Spence's dad!
7:16 am on May 16th, 2010
Happy Birthday, Spencer's Daddy!!!! Your gift? We won't spy on your son today.
And the oil spill? You don't want to mention it to Megan. She had a fit about it, like, 2 days ago or something like that. I'm no good at numbers, really. She was yelling at me-ME!?-about how dumb they are and how kids should rule. DOGS should rule! We wouldn't have spilled the dang oil, for howling out loud!! Mommy says to always clean up my messes that I make, and if I don't, Megan does, and I sit and watch….from a distance…
7:25 am on May 16th, 2010
Heh!….heh!… Lexi you are a rascal…ha!…And you got the last word in last night!… Very unusual for you to be up that late… grunt!
Sniff!… The whole plugging the hole with junk just makes my head spin….grump!… and not in a good way….snarl!… I would truly like to get my crooked teeth around someone’s ankle… growl!
Oh!… Happy Birthday Mr. Abrahams!… Thank you for bringing such a wonderful writer into this world!.. snort!
7:35 am on May 16th, 2010
Eddie!… We are reading “Lights Out”….Wow!…What a story!… gulp!… No one is getting any work done because of this book… snort!… Just when I think I sort of have something figured out …Pow!… something else incredibly unexpected happens and off we go!…My gosh!
8:15 am on May 16th, 2010
I am not a scientist. I am only a dog. But I know (from watching tv, something I love just as much as Enzo did) that this spill is really, really bad. Worse than the time that Baxter and Sam ate my mom's good couch. Worse than the time we snuck into my mom's sewing room and ate a whole pound of See's candy. It was wonderful, especially since mom didn't find out for a long time and we never even had to go to the vet!!! It didn't even make us a little bit sick!
I know that Obama is in a really bad mood. I wonder if he is listening to gospel Elvis today?
The point being, why aren't the BP folks getting this thing fixed???? Do they even understand just how bad this is???????
And do they even care?
8:18 am on May 16th, 2010
To: Spence's, PA's, and Admin's dad: Happy birthday to you and many happy returns of the day! We are forever grateful to you for your gift to us! I am sending you a big puppy kiss!
8:23 am on May 16th, 2010
Hot off the Internet: "BP succeeds on second attempt at inserting a new pipe at oil leak."
Maybe there's some hope.
8:29 am on May 16th, 2010
Carnage!…. Well if the “top hat” and the “junk shot” doesn’t work… growl!… will it keep spewing until the “relief well” is finished?…. grump!… That well is only about half way drilled and they say it could take months to finish it!….For crying out loud!…wheeze!
9:29 am on May 16th, 2010
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ChetTheDog. ChetTheDog said: Rube Goldberg Rides Again: Bernie’s in a real bad mood about this oil spill, fit to be tied, he says. Don’t worry:… http://bit.ly/cw2wMB […]
8:32 am on May 16th, 2010
Sam!…. Thanks for that bit of good news!….snort!…. I was falling into despair and madness there for a few minutes… grunt!… Lets all pray this plugging of the pipe works!… cough!
9:12 am on May 16th, 2010
It's a beautiful day here. I hope PA and family are enjoying a spring day and celebrating PA's Dad's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
9:34 am on May 16th, 2010
I don't want to post this, but since we are all equally pissed off:
There is an article in the New York Times that says that scientists have found giant oil plumes in the gulf. This spill could be much worse than what our government and BP are saying. The plumes are in deep ocean water.
It's a shame that we can't even stop buying BP gas for our cars. We fill up at a station with another brand name and it still might be BP gas. That's the way it worked with Exxon.
10:00 am on May 16th, 2010
Hey, Chet! When are Bernie's, Spence's, and Admin's birthdays? When is yours? On my birthday, I got tons and tons of treats, until Little Mrs. Know-It-All took them from me and said I'd get fat if I ate them all in one day. What do YOU get for your birthday?
10:12 am on May 16th, 2010
Happy Birthday Dad! And if you are PA/SQ's Dad so much the better!
(Are we sure it isn't Chet's Dad??) (Does Chet know his Dad?) Maybe while trying to find Astrid and Ray, Bernie and Chet might find Chet's Dad?
BP . . . beginning to sound like a swear word. Now they are saying that the pipe in the pipe is working (sort of) and it's sucking up MOST of the oil.
Considering they have not been telling the truth ALL ALONG, I tend to take this with a ton of salt.
Now the scientists are saying there is oil in the water column hundreds of feet deep and miles long. It's sucking up the oxygen and the fish and other sea life is dying.
Wolfie, it is not BP's job to care. They are a corporation. Their job is to make money. If the rest of us have to foot the bill, so much the better.
10:17 am on May 16th, 2010
Plumes!… When I hear the word ‘plume’ I think of feathers…. Snort!… What does “plumes of oil” mean?… grunt!
11:04 am on May 16th, 2010
I am sure a plume of oil means nothing good Rio, my pet. Not like a plume of a lovely blond tail. Now that is a good plume. However if that lovely blond tail got all oily….ish! NO GOOD!
(((big sigh)))
Alice Johnson
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1274040239-alice tail.jpg[/img]
11:21 am on May 16th, 2010
It looks like Alice is stalking something.
11:23 am on May 16th, 2010
Alice Johnson – what a beautiful plume of a tail you have!! So lovely! And is that a quilt or a rug? It looks as if the staff might be laying out a quilt? Maybe it's the camera angle, but it looks BIG! At any rate, it is a beauty!
11:25 am on May 16th, 2010
That's a darn good example of a bottle blonde plume…much prettier than BP oil.
The expression on Alice's face makes me think she may be going after BP. That would be a good thing.
11:27 am on May 16th, 2010
I think you're right, Melanie. It does sound like a curse word!
How 'bout:
BP = Bad People
BP = B@t*h P@ss (I'm not allowed to say naughty words)
or Brainius Pitiful?
11:28 am on May 16th, 2010
Alice always has that expression. She's in charge and we all have to do her will. That's why I wear the special glasses.
11:29 am on May 16th, 2010
Lexi – You make me laugh!!! How old is your girl Megan? She sounds like a sweetie, just like my boys!
11:31 am on May 16th, 2010
Whatever am I going to do with you dogs…geez
11:32 am on May 16th, 2010
My above statement was for Molly's benefit. Molly is smarter than she lets on sometimes.
11:33 am on May 16th, 2010
Well, maybe we can skype a call between Alice and the big wigs at Brainius Pitiful? She can turn her gaze upon them and make them clean up their goshdarn mess! If anyone can do it, it is Miss Alice. Or maybe Rio. They really don't want to mess with Commnader Rio!!
11:42 am on May 16th, 2010
tee hee…Rio could make them wish that they had never gone into the oil business.
11:53 am on May 16th, 2010
I can stun them with my powerful gaze and then Rio can chew on them. Everyone is invited
~Yes, staff was laying out a quilt. Double sized, and I have to make sure she does it correctly. Sometimes she puts things in the wrong place.
Heh heh heh
>^..^<
11:58 am on May 16th, 2010
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1274043495-alice eyes 2.jpg[/img]
12:04 pm on May 16th, 2010
Alice – you didn't warn me and now I am under your spell…..
please release me, oh majestic one
it was not it who spilt the oil
i am innocent…..
12:15 pm on May 16th, 2010
That's what they are all saying, Mr Wigglebutt.
Hopefully the truth will spill out and you will be set free.
Hopefully.
But the pipe of oil is 21 inches wide and the pipe that is sucking up the oil is only 6 inches.
I am not sure the truth will fit in such a little pipe.
Alice Johnson
12:34 pm on May 16th, 2010
Get a grip, Wolfie
12:35 pm on May 16th, 2010
Where is Rio? We now have two dogs going bonkers.
12:40 pm on May 16th, 2010
Alice!…I should have known she would take this opportunity to show off her peroxide tail!… snort!…
Rock!… Score is tied, top of the eighth, one out!…snort!.. My boys are in position to score!… snort!… Clap Clap Clap-Clap-Clap!…. grunt!
12:42 pm on May 16th, 2010
Score!… wheeee!
12:44 pm on May 16th, 2010
Alice!… Put your Eyes away!… snort!
12:58 pm on May 16th, 2010
Pant, pant, heh, Thanks Rio! Whew, what a close call that was!
Alice's eyes should be registered as WOMDs!!
Hey, Rio, didn't Melanie say something about a Surprise 4 U??
I'm surprised that you haven't asked for it yet. Unless you received it on the QT?
Has Wooks been around? Dawson? Cosmo? Where R U!
12:59 pm on May 16th, 2010
Whooo!… Rockies won again!… yippee!…
BP!…. Are we still bashing BP execs? … Cool!… Does anyone know how this smaller pipe plugging up the larger pipe is supposed to work?… snort!… Will it expand somehow inside the larger pipe?… grunt!
Alice!… If you gazed into those oil guys eyes, the windows to their souls, it would horrify you!… gasp!….I don’t think you want to do that at all…grunt!
1:01 pm on May 16th, 2010
Assuming that those guys even have souls…..
1:03 pm on May 16th, 2010
Wolfie!… You’re right!… Melanie was going to send me another photo of Bess in her Champion pose….cough!… Okay Melanie, what’s the story?…sniff!… You are not reneging on my surprise, are you?… wheeze!
1:04 pm on May 16th, 2010
Wölfie, it was a picture of Bess, but we've all been very busy and tired around here so the "official" picture of Bess has put back a little.
Getting ready for pups. Cleaning, rearranging furniture, cleaning, washing, whew. We usually break the washer or the dryer during a litter of pups.
Hey Riö, Boston is ahead! Hate to say it, I've probably jinxed them.
Seems to me that BP is more concerned about how to pump that oil up than to cap it shut.
1:05 pm on May 16th, 2010
I wonder if Bess lifts up one paw like whosis did? Wouldn't that be something?
1:05 pm on May 16th, 2010
Wolfie, Dawson is traveling (I think). She is probably going North and doesn't want to tell me so I won't feel left behind.
1:05 pm on May 16th, 2010
Riö, the dreaded post at the same time!
1:06 pm on May 16th, 2010
A threefer posting!! Awesome!
1:07 pm on May 16th, 2010
Uh oh – it was a triple post….wonder what that means? (Shiver)
1:10 pm on May 16th, 2010
I wonder if Chet is allowed to have some birthday cake? I wonder if he wouldn't mind sharing? I adore birthday cake! It tastes much better than burnt chicken!
1:11 pm on May 16th, 2010
Melanie – I think that we should help you name the pups! Ha ha, wouldnt' that be fun?
Wolfie Jr comes to mind.
1:11 pm on May 16th, 2010
Yes Dawson is traveling. She will soon be out of the USA and into the wild north. (Sorry Siber-H.)
She should be back on sometime this next week.
We sure had a good visit.
~Staff
1:14 pm on May 16th, 2010
I hope that Alice's eyes behaved while Dawson was visiting. (Another shiver, remembering the close call.)
1:15 pm on May 16th, 2010
Melanie, I betcha my small town is smaller that your small town!
1:23 pm on May 16th, 2010
Uh oh!… The dreaded afternoon lightning and thunder ….growl!… No tornado warnings yet… cough!… We got caught in a freaky rainstorm this afternoon….grunt!… Blue sky all around except right over our neighborhood! … snort!… Out on our rigorous walk and we got drenched…cough!
1:25 pm on May 16th, 2010
You guys are cracking me up.
I believe that the pipe is supposed to be pumping "most" of the oil from the leak to a tanker on the surface.
Go to it Alice!
1:35 pm on May 16th, 2010
So Bee, I wonder what happens when that tanker gets full? I bet that they look at each other and say, whoops, what now?
And then all the oil that was supposed to be pumped into boat 2 spills over back into the ocean?
I'm not even sure if ANY of the oil is being sucked into the second boat.
Liars!
I don't trust them any more than I trust Albie or Foster.
Hmmmm….I wonder if either one of them are involved in the Great Oil Spill of 2010?? They are such greasy characters that it wounldn't surprise me.
Hah!
1:36 pm on May 16th, 2010
Talk about canine esp!! I knew it! I knew it! Dawson has gone North once again. She is a very considerate person is why she didn't tell me in advance. I'm glad she had a good visit.
1:38 pm on May 16th, 2010
Oh, and did anybody notice that "somebody" stole my bling?
It had to be Foster. He was visiting Bernie and then snuck down here below and pickpocketed my bling!! I'm telling ya, he is up to no good. You guys might want to keep an eye on your bling just in case he comes back.
I'll talk to Bernie and see if he can't help me find it. Bernie can find anything!!
1:41 pm on May 16th, 2010
uh oh. We haven't heard from Wooks in awhile. You don't suppose that Foster dognapped Wookie while he was grabbing my bling??
Wookie? Where are you buddy?
2:27 pm on May 16th, 2010
Wölfie (some bling for you until you find your own), We live in a village in a town of a county in MA. The town has around 1,000 people in it. Around 40 people per square mile. In our village of the town (it has three villages around 6 miles apart each) we have 97 people. In our portion of the village we have about 20 people and 20 dogs. Did you beat us?
Alice, stalk those BPing dudes and bring 'em down with your stare!
The Newfs will then sit on them.
2:35 pm on May 16th, 2010
You are on Melanie.
I would be proud to hold the perps until the Newfies sit on them.
They can help Rio gnaw.
BTW~Our little town is population 51.
Heh heh heh
Alice Johnson
2:43 pm on May 16th, 2010
Okay Wölfie, Alice has us beat, what about you?
Love your "Heh heh heh" Alice, sends shivers down my spine. The BPer's better watch out.
3:06 pm on May 16th, 2010
Well, gosh, we live about six miles from the nearest town, which has a population of ?. More than 51 and more than 97. You both have me beat. (Sigh) I think we have there are a few hundred. One church, two bars, a post office and a school. (When the boys were in school there, there was only one other student in the school, which was sorta the bad boys school. In 8th grade, they went over to the big school and were one of 14 graduates.)
The next biggest town, where mom and work, is 16 miles away and has about 10,000 peeps.
Thanks for the loaner.
Go Alice!! Those perps stand no chance at all. They should be afraid. They should be very afraid. Let's see….10 newfies weighs…a lot……..
3:12 pm on May 16th, 2010
I wonder if Spence laughs at our blogs as much as we do? I am still chuckling over Rio's command to Alice "Put your Eyes away!"
And I loved Alice's comment about "not being sure the truth will fit into one little pipe" is positively Zen.
Wow.
3:13 pm on May 16th, 2010
Rio is awfully quiet tonight. I wonder if the drenching caused him to catch a cold? Poor Rio.
3:17 pm on May 16th, 2010
Well,actually, the town has three schools. The regular elemenary school, which has about 60 students, the bad boys elementary school, and the bad boys and girls high school, which has about six students. My boys went to all of them, at one time or another.
3:36 pm on May 16th, 2010
Busy!… Everyone was outside cleaning up and I was helping….heh!…from a distance… sniff!… I learned that from lil Lexi. We put more branches on the curb for pickup… grunt!… Then we came in and I watched someone make dinner hoping for a accidental dropping….Snort!…Then someone found a new Breaking Bad episode to watch so we are clued like wide eyed monkeys to the screen… Wow! Wow! and more Wow!… wheeze!
3:38 pm on May 16th, 2010
Stover!…'clued' = 'glued'… heh!
3:58 pm on May 16th, 2010
I interpreted it that way. I'm watching Foyle's War or will be in three minutes.
4:15 pm on May 16th, 2010
Stover!..Thanks for the Foyles heads up!… Let me know if that loveley Alan Cummings introduces it again???…hmmm?
5:05 pm on May 16th, 2010
Wolfie! Megan is 12!
Abbie! WHO ARE YOU STALKING NOW?! Ha, just kidding Abbie. Oh, Rio. Megan is like a wide-eyed monkey to the screen if they are showing Twilight or something. Hey, do vampires REALLY exist? What about werewolves? I'm afraid now…
5:28 pm on May 16th, 2010
Rio: Alan Cummings introduced Masterpiece Mysteries.
5:30 pm on May 16th, 2010
Rio: Alan Cummings introduced Foyle's War.
5:33 pm on May 16th, 2010
Yes, they all exist. Be Safe.
5:47 pm on May 16th, 2010
Twilight!… Well, the only twilight zone I know about is that time of day when I am left all alone out here… heh!… The whole juvenile delinquent vampire love story holds no interest for me… grunt! …Someone’s making a lot of money off of it though…. snort!… Everyone needs a gimmick these days to get their writing out there in the main stream!…wheeze!
Lexi!… You are awfully chatty lately! …snort!… I enjoy talking to you so very much because you bring an interesting perspective to things…heh!…My friend says vampires only really existed when she was very very young and Barnabas Collins was alive… snort!… She can hardly remember any details, but he is ‘Vampire’ when she thinks of vampire… grunt!.. Whatever that means!
5:52 pm on May 16th, 2010
Stover!… Thank you!… snort!…We will stay up to see him and his amazing Scottish Accent…heh!.. oh my! Is my friend Giddy?? maybe?… No one else stays up for Master Piece Theather Mystery!…grunt!
6:18 pm on May 16th, 2010
Stover!… Theather = Theater… snort!…My friend thinks Alan Cumming (no "s") is too cute to even be alive…heh!…She is going to contact her Scottish acquaintances and see if they know him.. Its a small country and her theater gang over there knows everyone! ..heh.. "Dream on", I say… heh!… and what about me??
7:22 pm on May 16th, 2010
Lexi – I didn't know the boys when they were 12, but mom says they were wonderful. So sweet and innocent (hey, just like me!) before they went down the wrong road.
Mom felt bad about the burnt chicken from last night so she made me and Teddy some yummy chicken with eggs and carrots and broccoli. She tried to sneak some kibble in there but even Teddy is too smart for that!
7:30 pm on May 16th, 2010
I am hoping we'll get a little more story tomorrow! Hey, does anyone want to hedge bets that Astrid is still alive??
I am certain that she is (regretably) dead, that Albie had her killed, that Foster knows, that Ray (once he realized that Bob is a Good Guy) has asked his dad for help, and that Bernie is helping Bob. Bernie isn't charging a fee, which upsets Chet, because of the messy finance thing, but Bernie is a good and loyal friend.
And that, my dears, is my final answer. (At least for tonight.)
Spence – feel free to jump in anytime!
It's a little lonely out here in the "dead Astrid camp".
12:27 am on May 17th, 2010
Well!…Goodnight all…. I fell asleep during the Foyles Mystery tonight!… snort!… Hopefully it will be on DVD one day soon! … May the week ahead be a fun and enjoyable time. Life is so uncertain, things can change in a heartbeat ….snort!… so take care all…grunt!…Watch carefully over your life, do not make that ‘one mistake’ that may change everything… sniff!