Rube Goldberg Rides Again

Bernie’s in a real bad mood about this oil spill, fit to be tied, he says. Don’t worry: no one’s tying up Bernie, not while I’m around, and I’m around, better believe it. Not even Elvis gospel is cheering him up. Giant plumes? Plugs made of golf balls and old tires? Not getting this, myself. Repost from May 2:

“Bernie’s not happy today, something about an oil spill. Not sure what that is, exactly. Once on the freeway – we’ve got freeways out the yingyang in the Valley – we saw a tanker truck flip over and oil got spilled all over the place that day, but I think this is different.

“These BOP’s,” he is saying, “blowout preventers – they sure look like Rube Goldberg devices to me. And now it’s up to robotic subs to make the damn thing work? If they can’t do better than that they shouldn’t be allowed to drill so deep.”

Hard to follow, but Rube Goldberg had to be a perp of some kind. There was Rube Double X, of course, this rapper we once worked bodyguard duty for, but he was no perp, in fact a great guy who liked me and my kind, and to this day I have no idea what happened to that gold-nugget chain of his. No reason anyone would want bury it in a flower bed. Hey! Except maybe to keep it from getting lost. How come I just thought of that now? Life was funny sometimes.”

Elvis just sang Milky White Way, our favorite. Bernie tapped his foot a bit. Love when he does that. Can’t stop myself from pawing at his foot while it’s tapping. So why even try?

Happy Birthday, Dad.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, May 16th, 2010 at 8:53 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

78 Responses to “Rube Goldberg Rides Again”

  1. B. Stover
    4:16 am on May 16th, 2010

    I think everyone is fit to be tied regarding this oil spill, Chet. (Now I'm wondering where we got that expression.) Keep pawing his foot; it will make him feel a bit better.

    Happy Birthday SQ/PA's dad.

  2. Gus & BooBear
    5:05 am on May 16th, 2010

    Absolutely NOTHING beats reading Chet's musings. We love it!

    Hate the oil spill problem. Hope they get it figured out quick.

    happy Birthday to Spence's dad!

  3. Lexi
    7:16 am on May 16th, 2010

    Happy Birthday, Spencer's Daddy!!!! Your gift? We won't spy on your son today.

    And the oil spill? You don't want to mention it to Megan. She had a fit about it, like, 2 days ago or something like that. I'm no good at numbers, really. She was yelling at me-ME!?-about how dumb they are and how kids should rule. DOGS should rule! We wouldn't have spilled the dang oil, for howling out loud!! Mommy says to always clean up my messes that I make, and if I don't, Megan does, and I sit and watch….from a distance…

  4. Riö - The Evil
    7:25 am on May 16th, 2010

    Heh!….heh!… Lexi you are a rascal…ha!…And you got the last word in last night!… Very unusual for you to be up that late… grunt!

    Sniff!… The whole plugging the hole with junk just makes my head spin….grump!… and not in a good way….snarl!… I would truly like to get my crooked teeth around someone’s ankle… growl!

    Oh!… Happy Birthday Mr. Abrahams!… Thank you for bringing such a wonderful writer into this world!.. snort!

  5. Riö - The Evil
    7:35 am on May 16th, 2010

    Eddie!… We are reading “Lights Out”….Wow!…What a story!… gulp!… No one is getting any work done because of this book… snort!… Just when I think I sort of have something figured out …Pow!… something else incredibly unexpected happens and off we go!…My gosh!

  6. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    8:15 am on May 16th, 2010

    I am not a scientist. I am only a dog. But I know (from watching tv, something I love just as much as Enzo did) that this spill is really, really bad. Worse than the time that Baxter and Sam ate my mom's good couch. Worse than the time we snuck into my mom's sewing room and ate a whole pound of See's candy. It was wonderful, especially since mom didn't find out for a long time and we never even had to go to the vet!!! It didn't even make us a little bit sick!

    I know that Obama is in a really bad mood. I wonder if he is listening to gospel Elvis today?

    The point being, why aren't the BP folks getting this thing fixed???? Do they even understand just how bad this is???????

    And do they even care?

  7. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    8:18 am on May 16th, 2010

    To: Spence's, PA's, and Admin's dad: Happy birthday to you and many happy returns of the day! We are forever grateful to you for your gift to us! I am sending you a big puppy kiss!

  8. Sam
    8:23 am on May 16th, 2010

    Hot off the Internet: "BP succeeds on second attempt at inserting a new pipe at oil leak."

    Maybe there's some hope.

  9. Riö - The Evil
    8:29 am on May 16th, 2010

    Carnage!…. Well if the “top hat” and the “junk shot” doesn’t work… growl!… will it keep spewing until the “relief well” is finished?…. grump!… That well is only about half way drilled and they say it could take months to finish it!….For crying out loud!…wheeze!

  10. Tweets that mention Chet The Dog : Rube Goldberg Rides Again -- Topsy.com
    9:29 am on May 16th, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ChetTheDog. ChetTheDog said: Rube Goldberg Rides Again: Bernie’s in a real bad mood about this oil spill, fit to be tied, he says. Don’t worry:… http://bit.ly/cw2wMB […]

  11. Riö - The Evil
    8:32 am on May 16th, 2010

    Sam!…. Thanks for that bit of good news!….snort!…. I was falling into despair and madness there for a few minutes… grunt!… Lets all pray this plugging of the pipe works!… cough!

  12. Siberian Husky
    9:12 am on May 16th, 2010

    It's a beautiful day here. I hope PA and family are enjoying a spring day and celebrating PA's Dad's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  13. Siberian Husky
    9:34 am on May 16th, 2010

    I don't want to post this, but since we are all equally pissed off:

    There is an article in the New York Times that says that scientists have found giant oil plumes in the gulf. This spill could be much worse than what our government and BP are saying. The plumes are in deep ocean water.

    It's a shame that we can't even stop buying BP gas for our cars. We fill up at a station with another brand name and it still might be BP gas. That's the way it worked with Exxon.

  14. Lexi
    10:00 am on May 16th, 2010

    Hey, Chet! When are Bernie's, Spence's, and Admin's birthdays? When is yours? On my birthday, I got tons and tons of treats, until Little Mrs. Know-It-All took them from me and said I'd get fat if I ate them all in one day. What do YOU get for your birthday?

  15. Melanie
    10:12 am on May 16th, 2010

    Happy Birthday Dad! And if you are PA/SQ's Dad so much the better!

    (Are we sure it isn't Chet's Dad??) (Does Chet know his Dad?) Maybe while trying to find Astrid and Ray, Bernie and Chet might find Chet's Dad?

    BP . . . beginning to sound like a swear word. Now they are saying that the pipe in the pipe is working (sort of) and it's sucking up MOST of the oil.

    Considering they have not been telling the truth ALL ALONG, I tend to take this with a ton of salt.

    Now the scientists are saying there is oil in the water column hundreds of feet deep and miles long. It's sucking up the oxygen and the fish and other sea life is dying.

    Wolfie, it is not BP's job to care. They are a corporation. Their job is to make money. If the rest of us have to foot the bill, so much the better.

  16. Riö - The Evil
    10:17 am on May 16th, 2010

    Plumes!… When I hear the word ‘plume’ I think of feathers…. Snort!… What does “plumes of oil” mean?… grunt!

  17. ÄbbietheKitty
    11:04 am on May 16th, 2010

    I am sure a plume of oil means nothing good Rio, my pet. Not like a plume of a lovely blond tail. Now that is a good plume. However if that lovely blond tail got all oily….ish! NO GOOD!

    (((big sigh)))

    Alice Johnson

    [img ]http://www.chetthedog.com/wp-content/uploads/1274040239-alice tail.jpg[/img]

  18. B. Stover
    11:21 am on May 16th, 2010

    It looks like Alice is stalking something.

  19. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    11:23 am on May 16th, 2010

    Alice Johnson – what a beautiful plume of a tail you have!! So lovely! And is that a quilt or a rug? It looks as if the staff might be laying out a quilt? Maybe it's the camera angle, but it looks BIG! At any rate, it is a beauty!

  20. Siberian Husky
    11:25 am on May 16th, 2010

    That's a darn good example of a bottle blonde plume…much prettier than BP oil.

    The expression on Alice's face makes me think she may be going after BP. That would be a good thing.

  21. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    11:27 am on May 16th, 2010

    I think you're right, Melanie. It does sound like a curse word!

    How 'bout:

    BP = Bad People

    BP = B@t*h P@ss (I'm not allowed to say naughty words)

    or Brainius Pitiful?

  22. Mollypop
    11:28 am on May 16th, 2010

    Alice always has that expression. She's in charge and we all have to do her will. That's why I wear the special glasses.

  23. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    11:29 am on May 16th, 2010

    Lexi – You make me laugh!!! How old is your girl Megan? She sounds like a sweetie, just like my boys!

  24. Siberian Husky
    11:31 am on May 16th, 2010

    Whatever am I going to do with you dogs…geez

  25. Siberian Husky
    11:32 am on May 16th, 2010

    My above statement was for Molly's benefit. Molly is smarter than she lets on sometimes.

  26. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    11:33 am on May 16th, 2010

    Well, maybe we can skype a call between Alice and the big wigs at Brainius Pitiful? She can turn her gaze upon them and make them clean up their goshdarn mess! If anyone can do it, it is Miss Alice. Or maybe Rio. They really don't want to mess with Commnader Rio!!

  27. Siberian Husky
    11:42 am on May 16th, 2010

    tee hee…Rio could make them wish that they had never gone into the oil business.

  28. ÄbbietheKitty
    11:53 am on May 16th, 2010

    I can stun them with my powerful gaze and then Rio can chew on them. Everyone is invited

    ~Yes, staff was laying out a quilt. Double sized, and I have to make sure she does it correctly. Sometimes she puts things in the wrong place.

    Heh heh heh

    >^..^<

  29. ÄbbietheKitty
    11:58 am on May 16th, 2010
  30. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    12:04 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Alice – you didn't warn me and now I am under your spell…..

    please release me, oh majestic one

    it was not it who spilt the oil

    i am innocent…..

  31. ÄbbietheKitty
    12:15 pm on May 16th, 2010

    That's what they are all saying, Mr Wigglebutt.

    Hopefully the truth will spill out and you will be set free.

    Hopefully.

    But the pipe of oil is 21 inches wide and the pipe that is sucking up the oil is only 6 inches.

    I am not sure the truth will fit in such a little pipe.

    Alice Johnson

  32. Siberian Husky
    12:34 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Get a grip, Wolfie

  33. Siberian Husky
    12:35 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Where is Rio? We now have two dogs going bonkers.

  34. Riö - The Evil
    12:40 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Alice!…I should have known she would take this opportunity to show off her peroxide tail!… snort!…

    Rock!… Score is tied, top of the eighth, one out!…snort!.. My boys are in position to score!… snort!… Clap Clap Clap-Clap-Clap!…. grunt!

  35. Riö - The Evil
    12:42 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Score!… wheeee!

  36. Riö - The Evil
    12:44 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Alice!… Put your Eyes away!… snort!

  37. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    12:58 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Pant, pant, heh, Thanks Rio! Whew, what a close call that was!

    Alice's eyes should be registered as WOMDs!!

    Hey, Rio, didn't Melanie say something about a Surprise 4 U??

    I'm surprised that you haven't asked for it yet. Unless you received it on the QT?

    Has Wooks been around? Dawson? Cosmo? Where R U!

  38. Riö - The Evil
    12:59 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Whooo!… Rockies won again!… yippee!…

    BP!…. Are we still bashing BP execs? … Cool!… Does anyone know how this smaller pipe plugging up the larger pipe is supposed to work?… snort!… Will it expand somehow inside the larger pipe?… grunt!

    Alice!… If you gazed into those oil guys eyes, the windows to their souls, it would horrify you!… gasp!….I don’t think you want to do that at all…grunt!

  39. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:01 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Assuming that those guys even have souls…..

  40. Riö - The Evil
    1:03 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Wolfie!… You’re right!… Melanie was going to send me another photo of Bess in her Champion pose….cough!… Okay Melanie, what’s the story?…sniff!… You are not reneging on my surprise, are you?… wheeze!

  41. Melanie
    1:04 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Wölfie, it was a picture of Bess, but we've all been very busy and tired around here so the "official" picture of Bess has put back a little.

    Getting ready for pups. Cleaning, rearranging furniture, cleaning, washing, whew. We usually break the washer or the dryer during a litter of pups.

    Hey Riö, Boston is ahead! Hate to say it, I've probably jinxed them.

    Seems to me that BP is more concerned about how to pump that oil up than to cap it shut.

  42. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:05 pm on May 16th, 2010

    I wonder if Bess lifts up one paw like whosis did? Wouldn't that be something?

  43. Siberian Husky
    1:05 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Wolfie, Dawson is traveling (I think). She is probably going North and doesn't want to tell me so I won't feel left behind.

  44. Melanie
    1:05 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Riö, the dreaded post at the same time!

  45. Melanie
    1:06 pm on May 16th, 2010

    A threefer posting!! Awesome!

  46. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:07 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Uh oh – it was a triple post….wonder what that means? (Shiver)

  47. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:10 pm on May 16th, 2010

    I wonder if Chet is allowed to have some birthday cake? I wonder if he wouldn't mind sharing? I adore birthday cake! It tastes much better than burnt chicken!

  48. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:11 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Melanie – I think that we should help you name the pups! Ha ha, wouldnt' that be fun?

    Wolfie Jr comes to mind.

  49. ÄbbietheKitty
    1:11 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Yes Dawson is traveling. She will soon be out of the USA and into the wild north. (Sorry Siber-H.)

    She should be back on sometime this next week.

    We sure had a good visit.

    ~Staff

  50. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:14 pm on May 16th, 2010

    I hope that Alice's eyes behaved while Dawson was visiting. (Another shiver, remembering the close call.)

  51. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:15 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Melanie, I betcha my small town is smaller that your small town!

  52. Riö - The Evil
    1:23 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Uh oh!… The dreaded afternoon lightning and thunder ….growl!… No tornado warnings yet… cough!… We got caught in a freaky rainstorm this afternoon….grunt!… Blue sky all around except right over our neighborhood! … snort!… Out on our rigorous walk and we got drenched…cough!

  53. B. Stover
    1:25 pm on May 16th, 2010

    You guys are cracking me up.

    I believe that the pipe is supposed to be pumping "most" of the oil from the leak to a tanker on the surface.

    Go to it Alice!

  54. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:35 pm on May 16th, 2010

    So Bee, I wonder what happens when that tanker gets full? I bet that they look at each other and say, whoops, what now?

    And then all the oil that was supposed to be pumped into boat 2 spills over back into the ocean?

    I'm not even sure if ANY of the oil is being sucked into the second boat.

    Liars!

    I don't trust them any more than I trust Albie or Foster.

    Hmmmm….I wonder if either one of them are involved in the Great Oil Spill of 2010?? They are such greasy characters that it wounldn't surprise me.

    Hah!

  55. Siberian Husky
    1:36 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Talk about canine esp!! I knew it! I knew it! Dawson has gone North once again. She is a very considerate person is why she didn't tell me in advance. I'm glad she had a good visit.

  56. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:38 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Oh, and did anybody notice that "somebody" stole my bling?

    It had to be Foster. He was visiting Bernie and then snuck down here below and pickpocketed my bling!! I'm telling ya, he is up to no good. You guys might want to keep an eye on your bling just in case he comes back.

    I'll talk to Bernie and see if he can't help me find it. Bernie can find anything!!

  57. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:41 pm on May 16th, 2010

    uh oh. We haven't heard from Wooks in awhile. You don't suppose that Foster dognapped Wookie while he was grabbing my bling??

    Wookie? Where are you buddy?

  58. Melanie
    2:27 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Wölfie (some bling for you until you find your own), We live in a village in a town of a county in MA. The town has around 1,000 people in it. Around 40 people per square mile. In our village of the town (it has three villages around 6 miles apart each) we have 97 people. In our portion of the village we have about 20 people and 20 dogs. Did you beat us?

    Alice, stalk those BPing dudes and bring 'em down with your stare!

    The Newfs will then sit on them.

  59. ÄbbietheKitty
    2:35 pm on May 16th, 2010

    You are on Melanie.

    I would be proud to hold the perps until the Newfies sit on them.

    They can help Rio gnaw.

    BTW~Our little town is population 51.

    Heh heh heh

    Alice Johnson

  60. Melanie
    2:43 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Okay Wölfie, Alice has us beat, what about you?

    Love your "Heh heh heh" Alice, sends shivers down my spine. The BPer's better watch out.

  61. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    3:06 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Well, gosh, we live about six miles from the nearest town, which has a population of ?. More than 51 and more than 97. You both have me beat. (Sigh) I think we have there are a few hundred. One church, two bars, a post office and a school. (When the boys were in school there, there was only one other student in the school, which was sorta the bad boys school. In 8th grade, they went over to the big school and were one of 14 graduates.)

    The next biggest town, where mom and work, is 16 miles away and has about 10,000 peeps.

    Thanks for the loaner.

    Go Alice!! Those perps stand no chance at all. They should be afraid. They should be very afraid. Let's see….10 newfies weighs…a lot……..

  62. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    3:12 pm on May 16th, 2010

    I wonder if Spence laughs at our blogs as much as we do? I am still chuckling over Rio's command to Alice "Put your Eyes away!"

    And I loved Alice's comment about "not being sure the truth will fit into one little pipe" is positively Zen.

    Wow.

  63. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    3:13 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Rio is awfully quiet tonight. I wonder if the drenching caused him to catch a cold? Poor Rio.

  64. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    3:17 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Well,actually, the town has three schools. The regular elemenary school, which has about 60 students, the bad boys elementary school, and the bad boys and girls high school, which has about six students. My boys went to all of them, at one time or another.

  65. Riö - The Evil
    3:36 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Busy!… Everyone was outside cleaning up and I was helping….heh!…from a distance… sniff!… I learned that from lil Lexi. We put more branches on the curb for pickup… grunt!… Then we came in and I watched someone make dinner hoping for a accidental dropping….Snort!…Then someone found a new Breaking Bad episode to watch so we are clued like wide eyed monkeys to the screen… Wow! Wow! and more Wow!… wheeze!

  66. Riö - The Evil
    3:38 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Stover!…'clued' = 'glued'… heh!

  67. B. Stover
    3:58 pm on May 16th, 2010

    I interpreted it that way. I'm watching Foyle's War or will be in three minutes.

  68. Riö - The Evil
    4:15 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Stover!..Thanks for the Foyles heads up!… Let me know if that loveley Alan Cummings introduces it again???…hmmm?

  69. Lexi
    5:05 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Wolfie! Megan is 12!

    Abbie! WHO ARE YOU STALKING NOW?! Ha, just kidding Abbie. Oh, Rio. Megan is like a wide-eyed monkey to the screen if they are showing Twilight or something. Hey, do vampires REALLY exist? What about werewolves? I'm afraid now…

  70. B. Stover
    5:28 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Rio: Alan Cummings introduced Masterpiece Mysteries.

  71. B. Stover
    5:30 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Rio: Alan Cummings introduced Foyle's War.

  72. Jasper the Poodle
    5:33 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Yes, they all exist. Be Safe.

  73. Riö - The Evil
    5:47 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Twilight!… Well, the only twilight zone I know about is that time of day when I am left all alone out here… heh!… The whole juvenile delinquent vampire love story holds no interest for me… grunt! …Someone’s making a lot of money off of it though…. snort!… Everyone needs a gimmick these days to get their writing out there in the main stream!…wheeze!

    Lexi!… You are awfully chatty lately! …snort!… I enjoy talking to you so very much because you bring an interesting perspective to things…heh!…My friend says vampires only really existed when she was very very young and Barnabas Collins was alive… snort!… She can hardly remember any details, but he is ‘Vampire’ when she thinks of vampire… grunt!.. Whatever that means!

  74. Riö - The Evil
    5:52 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Stover!… Thank you!… snort!…We will stay up to see him and his amazing Scottish Accent…heh!.. oh my! Is my friend Giddy?? maybe?… No one else stays up for Master Piece Theather Mystery!…grunt!

  75. Riö - The Evil
    6:18 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Stover!… Theather = Theater… snort!…My friend thinks Alan Cumming (no "s") is too cute to even be alive…heh!…She is going to contact her Scottish acquaintances and see if they know him.. Its a small country and her theater gang over there knows everyone! ..heh.. "Dream on", I say… heh!… and what about me??

  76. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    7:22 pm on May 16th, 2010

    Lexi – I didn't know the boys when they were 12, but mom says they were wonderful. So sweet and innocent (hey, just like me!) before they went down the wrong road.

    Mom felt bad about the burnt chicken from last night so she made me and Teddy some yummy chicken with eggs and carrots and broccoli. She tried to sneak some kibble in there but even Teddy is too smart for that!

  77. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    7:30 pm on May 16th, 2010

    I am hoping we'll get a little more story tomorrow! Hey, does anyone want to hedge bets that Astrid is still alive??

    I am certain that she is (regretably) dead, that Albie had her killed, that Foster knows, that Ray (once he realized that Bob is a Good Guy) has asked his dad for help, and that Bernie is helping Bob. Bernie isn't charging a fee, which upsets Chet, because of the messy finance thing, but Bernie is a good and loyal friend.

    And that, my dears, is my final answer. (At least for tonight.)

    Spence – feel free to jump in anytime!

    It's a little lonely out here in the "dead Astrid camp".

  78. Riö - The Evil Pug
    12:27 am on May 17th, 2010

    Well!…Goodnight all…. I fell asleep during the Foyles Mystery tonight!… snort!… Hopefully it will be on DVD one day soon! … May the week ahead be a fun and enjoyable time. Life is so uncertain, things can change in a heartbeat ….snort!… so take care all…grunt!…Watch carefully over your life, do not make that ‘one mistake’ that may change everything… sniff!

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