Prof: From Thereby Hangs A Tail

We drove to the college. We had experts for this and that, me and Bernie, Otis DeWayne, for example, for weapons. The professor – he had a long complicated name that I’d never gotten clear but it didn’t matter since Bernie just called him Prof – was our expert for money. Not making money – humans with lots of money have a certain way about them, hard to describe, and Prof didn’t have it – but everything else about money, which was what, exactly? What was important about money except making it? Couldn’t tell you.

The college was close to downtown, but didn’t look like downtown, which was all towers and nobody on the streets. It had old buildings with tile roofs and lots of trees and grass, and humans, most of them young, all over the place, walking, sitting, just lying around or even – hey! – playing Frisbee!

“Wow. See what that dog just did?”

“Chet? Can you give the Frisbee back please?”

“Is that your dog?”

“We’re more of a team.”

“I can’t believe he jumped that high. He should be on TV.”

“Don’t give him ideas. Chet? The Frisbee, please?”

I gave back the Frisbee, except for the tiniest little piece that seemed to have been chewed off. Couldn’t beat our place on Mesquite Road, but if we ever had to live someplace else, me and Bernie, here at the college would be nice. College kids were the greatest.

Prof had a couch in his office. He was lying on it when we came in, his hands folded over his big round stomach. “Hi, guys,” he said. “Just contemplating a little aperçu of Marx’s.”

Prof was brilliant – did I mention that? I caught the “hi guys” part and that was it.

“Which is?” said Bernie.

“’The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.’”

Prof: impossible to understand, but, big surprise, I came so close to getting that.

“Like it?” Prof said.

“Yes,” said Bernie.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if Marx turned out to be right after all?” Prof went on. “About everything, that is? I’m not saying tomorrow or the next day, but later, say two or three hundred years from now.”

“My sense of humor doesn’t stretch that far,” Bernie said.

Prof laughed. “Working on anything interesting?”

“Kidnapping,” Bernie said.

“Ah,” said Prof, “the life of action.” That I got completely. The life of action: what could be better?


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This entry was posted on Saturday, March 13th, 2010 at 9:25 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

52 Responses to “Prof: From Thereby Hangs A Tail”

  1. J V
    4:51 am on March 13th, 2010

    Hey chet I have not heard of iggy in a long time what is he up to?

  2. Chet The Dog
    5:20 am on March 13th, 2010

    I can see him right now, in his window. Bernie says Mr. and Mrs. Parsons – the old couple that lives with Iggy – aren't doing too well. Bernie tried making soup for them yesterday but something went wrong.

  3. Mollypop
    5:36 am on March 13th, 2010

    Chet – You know how we all worry about Iggy. If Mr. and Mrs. Parsons aren't doing well, couldn't Iggy come to stay with you?

  4. Rio - The Evil Pug
    5:59 am on March 13th, 2010

    Iggy!… My friend said she will take Iggy!… snort!… once she figures out how to hide my dead body…. Grunt!

  5. Siberian Husky
    6:24 am on March 13th, 2010

    I think Chet and Bernie should adopt Iggy. Iggy needs are not being met by the probably well-meaning couple that own him. Iggy needs a life not just an existence.

  6. Gus & BooBear
    6:46 am on March 13th, 2010

    But his people would be lost without Iggy!! He is probably the liveliest thing or being in their lives!! Maybe Chet could just have play days (when his detective work would allow it) with his best pal.

  7. Melanie
    7:24 am on March 13th, 2010

    The soup. Did you have something to do with the soup going wrong, Chet?

    Wish I could send some of this rain over to Bernie's aquifer. Pouring here.

    I bet Iggy could be a real help to Chet. Any real small perps that tried to get away by tunneling, Iggy could catch. Or chase out for Chet to get.

    I hope Iggy's people are okay. Maybe Susie could help with that.

  8. Lexi
    7:25 am on March 13th, 2010

    Chet, what's wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Parson? Are they in trouble? When did you last see Iggy? Tailwags to Iggy and to you and licks to Bernie, Mr. and Mrs. Parson!

  9. Siberian Husky
    8:13 am on March 13th, 2010

    Gus and Boobear, you are right. As always, I see things strictly from a canine point of view, but a dog needs more than just love and affection.

  10. Rio - The Evil Pug
    8:36 am on March 13th, 2010

    Grunt!… beer and treats!?…snort!

  11. Siberian Husky
    9:07 am on March 13th, 2010

    exercise, Rio, exercise, socializing with our own kind, experiencing new adventures, and after all of the above–beer and treats!!!

    Time change tonight. Mom will be a walking zombie at the dog park tomorrow, but she'll make it.

  12. AbbietheKitty
    9:08 am on March 13th, 2010

    What a nice memory of THAT. I like it when Chet gets to show off. Maybe I am a shallow cat. Both of the staff are laying around with nasty colds and are no help at all today. Even when I try to take a nice nap on their prone bodies they start to cough and shake me off. ((((SIGH))))

    Abbie the Kitty

  13. AbbietheKitty
    9:14 am on March 13th, 2010

    Wow, I just went back to see what was at the end of previous posts, since I have been a little out of it and I saw Paris and Libbie's pictures at the end of the posts on the 11th. Way too cute. Better check them out Rio. I think they might be relatives of your. (From the cute side of the family, of course)

    And it is true Lonnie,

    "Dogs have owners and cats have staff"

    Abbie and Alice's 'staff'

  14. Rio - The Evil Pug
    9:17 am on March 13th, 2010

    Exercise!…. phooey!…. Way over-rated!…snort!… I get enough exercise just waiting to be fed….grunt!…and then climbing into my bed.

  15. Wookie of Chevy Chas
    10:51 am on March 13th, 2010

    Just checking in. Melanie, we're having lots of rain here too, but I still got a nice walk in the woods this morning with my mom and dad. Chased a few fuzzbuts too (that was especially for Mollypop). In any event, I'm on break today between phases of the secret missions that Rio has sent me on; I still owe him a detailed report of all my findings to date. Fortunately, I still had the mustache, which came in quite handy again by helping me stay totally incognito. I do worry a lot about Iggy too, but I think Gus and BooBear are right. Just need to find a way for him to spend some more time with Chet, so he can get out and smell all the good smells and get some exercise too. Need to get back to writing my report, but I'll try to check in again later. Wookie

    P.S. Do you know what tomorrow is? In addition to start of that daylight savings time thing (which I have trouble understanding because it is always dog time for me), tomorrow is the official start of March Madness! Yeah!

  16. Rio - The Evil Pug
    11:29 am on March 13th, 2010

    Thanks!… A lot Siber-H!…grunt!..wheeze!…puff!… I was just dragged along on a long grueling walk because its about 65 degrees out!… Groan!… everything hurts!… growl!…I whined and cried most of the time, but nobody cared!… snort!… they just kept pulling on that damn leash!….cough!

  17. Mollypop
    11:54 am on March 13th, 2010

    Okay, enough of this darned rain. This is winter carnival and all of the snow is washing away! I'm starting to see some green patches when our ski slopes had 3 – 4 feet of snow on them. What is going on here?

  18. Mollypop
    11:55 am on March 13th, 2010

    You know, I don't mean to be such a whiner like you-know-who, but enough is enough!

  19. Melanie
    12:32 pm on March 13th, 2010

    I understand MOllypop. Though right now, it's sleeting. Yuck.

    Can't wait to find out what happens with Iggy.

  20. Mollypop
    1:03 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Melanie – Sleet would be okay so send it please. We have lots of people here wearing their Mardi Gras beads and costumes while the ski snow is washing away around us! Help.

  21. Debbie LM
    1:10 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Yes, more play dates with Iggy – or maybe a routine where he takes a morning walk with Chet and Bernie most days (when they aren't 'tied up' during a case.)

  22. Rio - The Evil Pug
    1:13 pm on March 13th, 2010

    AbbietheKat!…You can take a nap on me if you want!… snort!… Just don’t suffocate me!…wheeze!

  23. AbbietheKitty
    1:30 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Rio old friend,

    It is awfully nice of you to offer, but I need a lot of space. You might have to be rescued by Wookie if I ever took a nap on you.


    [img ] lap abbie.jpg[/img]

  24. Siberian Husky
    1:32 pm on March 13th, 2010

    I knew you wouldn't like the word "exercise", Rio, any better than you liked the word "frolic". That's ok. I dislike the words "groomer" and "toothbrush" You deserve to kick back now and have some beer and treats.

    Molly, you can complain about the rain–I complained all winter about no snow. I'm not worried about the newfs, they can swim, but you and I don't swim. How could I ever forget the word I hate the most-WATER!

  25. Rio - The Evil Pug
    1:44 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Mama!… holy crap!… Abbie!…You are a Ho-Lotta Kat!…snort!…Whose the lap?… grunt!

    So!… what’s this rumor of Dawson visiting you?? … grunt!… any truth in this story?… snort!

  26. Mollypop
    1:50 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Siber-H – I may be swimming if the rain doesn't stop and the snow keeps melting. Flood alerts are up all over the place. People here want to snow ski not water ski.

  27. B. Stover
    2:02 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Hi everyone. I'm at the airport waiting for the flight back to Michigan. I guess I'm leaving 75 degree weather for 46 to 35 degree weather. But I don't mind.

    Problem: How can Chet who is so busy chasing perps help out Iggy? Perhaps when Chet gets out the gate and into the canyon he could take Iggy with him. They always have fun there. It would be interesting to see both Iggy and Princess helping out Chet in something. Wish we could get more on Col Bob's son's case.

  28. Rio - The Evil Pug
    2:03 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Geeze!…When the Rain turns Purple, then you have something to cry about!… grunt!…And I’m “The Whiner”?…. snort!… I don’t think so.

  29. Rio - The Evil Pug
    2:09 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Stover’s!… coming back!…. heh!… Why does Iggy need help?… snort!… I think he is perfectly happy where he is…. gruff!… Confined in a house with old, dying folks, and an electrified prison yard… [snicker!]… he is perfectly safe and happy!

  30. B. Stover
    2:21 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Rio, would you be happy with an electric fence?

  31. Rio - The Evil Pug
    2:30 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Stover!… You do know the meaning of “Sarcasm”, right?….snort!

  32. B. Stover
    2:36 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Sarcasm is not as witty as satire.

  33. B. Stover
    2:39 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Now why would the Starbucks at the airport close at 7PM?

  34. AbbietheKitty
    2:43 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Rio Sweetie,

    I am a whole lotta Cat, not a ho-lotta cat. I resent the implication! Tee hee.

    Although it is true that I will do just about anything for a proper lap. The lap in question belongs to one of my staff. The male staff. He came in from work and was forced to sit right down on the recliner and give me some lap.

    The female staff just doesn't have the proper length to be a real lap. All her bumps are in the wrong place.

    It is a matter of quality you understand.

    A proper lap is a thing of beauty even when encased in dirty bluejeans.

    Abbie, who prefers a quilt covered lap, but will settle.

  35. Mollypop
    2:54 pm on March 13th, 2010

    B. – Are you getting this deluge of rain? Whine, whine, sob. The weather is moving from southeast to northwest. Coming your way. The satellite shows a lot of it moving into Michigan.

  36. Mollypop
    2:56 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Sort of a correction – in the big picture it looks like a nor'easter. Stupid rain.

  37. B. Stover
    2:56 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Yes it is supposed to rain in Michigan tomorrow and Monday. Apparently they had to cancel flights to New York and area because of wind.

  38. Rio - The Evil Pug
    3:05 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Abbie!… you are starting to terrify me!… gulp!…

  39. Rio - The Evil Pug
    3:11 pm on March 13th, 2010

    No!… The truth is… snort!… I am concerned about Iggy too!… gruff!… I really like that littleguy, especially after he lifted his leg on the floor (or was it the couch)?…. we bonded at that point!…. grunt!

  40. B. Stover
    3:14 pm on March 13th, 2010

    I don't remember when Iggy lifted his leg.

  41. Mollypop
    3:50 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Rio – you should be terrified. If AbbietheKat sits on you, you're a goner. Squash!

  42. Rio - The Evil Pug
    4:07 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Molly!… I’m starting to believe that’s true!… Squash!… You have a Kindle, didn’t Iggy lift his leg while Chet was watching him…snort!… I can’t remember the context, but I certainly have that picture in my memory.

  43. Mollypop
    4:24 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Rio – Mom says I have to get off the computer now and go to bed. I will look it up tomorrow. Maybe B. Stover will find it first.

  44. Jasper the Poodle
    4:46 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Stover, it is never a right time for a Starbucks to close.

    P.S. I am in Grand Rapids. Where 'bouts are you from in the mitten?

  45. Lexi
    5:10 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Hey, Jasper. Where is the Grand Rapids?

  46. Rio - The Evil Pug
    5:32 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Bedtime!… snort!… I’ve been out late way too much this week!… grunt!… It has caught up to me at last!… Goodnight all!… snicker!… Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite!

  47. Lexi
    6:25 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Goodnight, Rio!

  48. dawson
    7:28 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Everybodys Asleep?

    I remember Chet seeing Iggy lifting his leg on a houseplant in the front window. Must be in Thereby Hangs a Tail.

    Just finished reading Dog On It up at hospital. It was just as exciting as reading it the first time. Thanks Chet, Bernie and Spencer Quinn

  49. B. Stover
    8:35 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Iggy lifts his leg on page 15 of THAT.

  50. B. Stover
    8:36 pm on March 13th, 2010

    Jasper: I'm outside of Ann Arbor.

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