PAW AND ORDER: Chapter One, Excerpt Two

“Bernie? You called?” Hey! It was Suzie. Hadn’t heard her voice in way too long, although it usually sounded warmer than this. Suzie had been Bernie’s girlfriend, back when she’d worked for the Valley Tribune, the Valley being where we lived—maybe in Arizona, a detail I’d picked up quite recently—but then she’d gone away to take a job with the Washington Post, a no-brainer Bernie said.

“I, um, ah,” Bernie said. “Sorry.”

“You’re saying you’re sorry?”


“For what?”

“For what didn’t happen,” Bernie said. For what didn’t hap­pen? This was hard to follow. My mind wandered to a morning not long ago when Suzie had arrived suddenly at the houseboat where Bernie and I had stayed while working the Ralph Boutette case and found Vannah on board. Vannah: a story for another time, but I should probably mention that tiny bikini and how the straps kept slipping no matter what she did. My mind wandered on to something else, namely barbecue, and when it came back, Bernie was saying, “. . . crazy to let silly misunderstandings come between us.”

“How about serious misunderstandings?” Suzie said, her voice still pretty cold.

“Them, too,” Bernie said.

There was a pause, and then Suzie laughed. Soon they were both laughing. I like watching humans laugh when they’re on the phone, especially when they laugh their heads off and somehow keep the phone in place the whole time. As for what this conversa­tion was about, you tell me. It went on for some time, and then I put my paw on Bernie’s knee, just reminding him about what we were here for, namely barbecue.

Bernie glanced at me. “I’ve got a feeling Chet’s hungry,” he said.

“That’ll be with a capital H,” Suzie said, losing me completely. But maybe not Bernie. He laughed again. What fun we were all having! I pressed a little harder with my paw.

“So,” Bernie said.

“So,” said Suzie. After that came a long pause. Then she went on. “What’s next?”

“Headed home,” Bernie said.

“Happy trails,” said Suzie.

– from PAW AND ORDER, coming Aug. 5

Welcome new friends Minnie, Jama, Jasper, Token, Mr. Maximilliano. Stay tuned for Friend of the Month announcement later today!


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This entry was posted on Friday, August 1st, 2014 at 7:43 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

63 Responses to “PAW AND ORDER: Chapter One, Excerpt Two”

  1. Barb & Maggie
    8:00 am on August 1st, 2014

    But we know they don’t go home, don’t we? Thus the cover showing D.C. Chet has his priorities – bar-b-q first.

    Little walks are coming up then Barb is off to get wonderfluffed, and then she is attending a program at the fair grounds. Josh is getting some sort of award from the county for his contribution to the community. No details known at this point.

  2. Barb & Maggie
    8:03 am on August 1st, 2014

    BTW, we don’t have enough self control to skip the excerpts from PAO. And Chet is in his usual form – upright, alert and professional. Loving it so far.

  3. Herd of Hounds
    8:19 am on August 1st, 2014

    Good morning, B&M and everyone! Welcome Ozzie as the Dogust Friend of the month. Barb mom is like you, HAS to read the sneak peeks 🙂 “Laughing their heads off”…what an expression (but better than “keep your eyes peeled”).
    Have a friendly Friday.

  4. Meashka
    8:22 am on August 1st, 2014

    I am skipping the excerpts, and most of what youse guys are posting. I am in WAIT mode for August 5th! But I hope I don’t miss any important news from you all.

    Speaking of wait mode, here I am waiting for fun at Pints for Pups!

  5. Barb & Maggie
    8:25 am on August 1st, 2014

    How do you do it Howlers mama? No way could we skip all that fun!

    Did you notice that new friends Jasper and Token must be in the same household? One big clue.

  6. O'Howlers
    8:31 am on August 1st, 2014

    Heh Heh! Good eye, Maggie!

  7. Herd of Hounds
    8:37 am on August 1st, 2014

    Staff, when TM/OFA went on tour last year he has his passport, at least in Atlanta

  8. Wose-the small and meek
    9:19 am on August 1st, 2014


    B&M, I caught that, too. It also seems as if one of those guy’s head is missing.

    Mama Meash, That is a wonderful picture of you, and would look very nice on a particular camera.

    Belle Starr, The Giant may be hot (boy, is he!!), but you are the Sparkly Queen of Adorableness!!! Yes, you are!

  9. Riö -The Evil Pug
    10:04 am on August 1st, 2014

    HoHo!…Are you saying that Spencer had his passport with him on tour?…snort!…Maybe I should take my special stamp that no one has seen yet with me when I go to meet that ole Spencer and The Charming Mr. Abrahams…wheeze!

  10. Herd of Hounds
    10:09 am on August 1st, 2014

    Rio, it can’t hurt!

  11. Herd of Hounds
    10:19 am on August 1st, 2014

    Perhaps we should remind OFA/TM, Spencer Quinn/Peter Abrahams (what a mouthful) to pack his passport for this year’s book tour since he’ll probably see a couple of Plunderers on his travels.

    Admin., Mrs. and anyone else close by OFA, please remind him to pack it.

  12. Riö -The Evil Pug
    10:21 am on August 1st, 2014

    Memory!…I’m pretty sure he will forget it…sniff!

  13. Riö -The Evil Pug
    10:22 am on August 1st, 2014

    Paw!…I can always stamp his big ole paw instead…heh!heh!

  14. B.Stover
    10:30 am on August 1st, 2014

    I like the way Chet keeps Bernie on track.

    Good morning all.

  15. Herd of Hounds
    10:30 am on August 1st, 2014

    And give him a slurpy kiss 🙂

    to go along with his stamp (see the 2 passports in the foto?)

  16. Tupper's Mama
    10:46 am on August 1st, 2014

    Good morning all.
    Bee – you guessed it. It was Suzie (who is not your favorite) on the phone.

  17. Riö -The Evil Pug
    10:47 am on August 1st, 2014

    Snort!…Okay then, I will have my stamp and my passport…heh!heh!

  18. Riö -The Evil Pug
    10:54 am on August 1st, 2014

    Fotoz!…My friend says what she really needs is someone who can operate a camera…sniff!…As I cannot and will not be her personal photographer when she gets up to the little table with all her bags and bags of books…bah!

  19. B.Stover
    11:08 am on August 1st, 2014

    Staff: I’ve responded to your email.

    Charlie: I’m looking forward to reading Paw with you.

  20. BearSpiritDog
    11:20 am on August 1st, 2014

    Stopping by to say Bye for Now.
    It is truly a Friendly (Skies) Friday here 🙂

  21. Wose-the small and meek
    11:22 am on August 1st, 2014

    RIO! Maybe one of the store employees will be nice enough to take a picture of youse. I am both jealous and excited for youse!

  22. Wose-the small and meek
    11:24 am on August 1st, 2014

    AND maybe it could be on the Plunderer’s calendar. heh!

  23. Riö -The Evil Pug
    11:25 am on August 1st, 2014

    Tracking!…Bear just reminded me I am on tracking duty all by myself today…grump!…Maskers is going on vacation with Nana starting today!…yeeep!

  24. Masquers
    11:25 am on August 1st, 2014

    Someone here is frantically attending to last minute trip details.
    Hope to talk to all youse soon (if wifi we can trust).
    Over and out ^..^

  25. Wose-the small and meek
    11:26 am on August 1st, 2014

    Bear, I will miss you all! Have a safe flight, a nice vacay, and take good care of Nana.

    Hey, is Rio tracking your flight?

  26. Riö -The Evil Pug
    11:27 am on August 1st, 2014

    Rose!…Doubtful. Very doubtful…snuff!

  27. Siber-H
    12:39 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Meashka, Love the photo of you but it looks like you have already had a few.

    Did any of you receive a email from Amazon wanting you to take a survey about your online book buying habits? I think it is legit, but I emailed Amazon asking them if it is.

  28. Riö -The Evil Pug
    12:46 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Amazon!…I just placed an order for a book written by The Charming Mr. Abrahams I somehow over-looked…snort!snort!…I thought I had read everything he has written, but NO!…Yippeeee!WOOOOO!…It will be in my paws next week!…gasp!

  29. Siber-H
    12:49 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Rio? What is the book? gasp
    Maybe I also overlooked it.

  30. Riö -The Evil Pug
    12:54 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Book!…It is titled, “Pressure Drop”….snort!…He wrote it in 1989 before I was ever born!…wheeze!

  31. Riö -The Evil Pug
    12:58 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Story!…As far as I can make out it is about Divers and Kidnappers…wheeze!…I can’t wait!!!

  32. Riö -The Evil Pug
    1:10 pm on August 1st, 2014


  33. Siber-H
    1:13 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Yark! I haven’t read it either. I am off to Amazon.

  34. Riö -The Evil Pug
    1:19 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Treat!…Finding a book written by the Charming Mr. Abrahams that I have not read is like finding a Christmas present I forgot to open…snorkel!

  35. bluecat
    1:28 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Hi, Rio & Siber-H.

    Mom’s been SCUBA diving. While Mom was reading Pressure Drop, she couldn’t breathe.

    Have fun, kids. Don’t forget to breathe.

    Love the excerpts. I was going to wait till I had the rest of the book, but then I didn’t.

    Happy Friday and safe weekend to Everybody.

  36. Siber-H
    1:45 pm on August 1st, 2014

    ummm I wonder just how much of Pressure Drop takes place in the water. I’ll order the book for mom and she can tell me the non-scary parts.

    Hi Bluekat!

  37. Riö -The Evil Pug
    1:49 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Non-Scary!….heh!…Those parts will be few and far between I betcha!…snort!

  38. Thieves!
    2:39 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Is the following announcement worthy? We think it is.

    Last night when our Lady and the Giant were speaking on the phone, our Lady said, “Give Harris a love from me.” Who is the Harris and is she moving in on our attention? We wondered.

    Our lady may not be big on having a lot of rules—she gets that from us—but she has one rule she holds dear: when it comes to bring home a dog that may or may not need a second chance, don’t let the Giant ask questions you don’t want to answer. Apparently, the Giant learned this lesson but replaced Giant with Pixie. Our Lady didn’t ask many questions other than how old is she? Does she know I love her all ready? She’s a girl, right?

    Our lady, the Chief Naming Officer of the kennel chose the pups name sight unseen. This dear girl will be named Harris after our own Hobbit as a thank you for her support and friendship. Thank you CHobbit. Now, we have a Harris of our very own.

    Devil dog lessons begin as soon as possible.

  39. Charlie
    3:17 pm on August 1st, 2014

    B: Can you supply the cahors and water? I’m not allowed to blur with open or unopened containers. I will supply the oversized, floppy ears.

  40. B.Stover
    3:22 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Charlie: I have an unopened bottle of Cahors and a bowl of water waiting, alongside with the easy chair.

    Welcome Harris.

  41. Riö -The Evil Pug
    3:28 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Harris!…Oh! CHobbit is going to be tickled pink right down to her furry little toes…snort!

  42. Herd of Hounds
    3:30 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Harris, what a wonderful name.

  43. C.hobbiti
    3:43 pm on August 1st, 2014

    . Can’t wait to meet my namesake

  44. Tupper's Mama
    4:00 pm on August 1st, 2014

    We welcome the indomitable Harris to the Snowhook Family. Looking forward to pictures.

    And we know how scary some of Mr Quinn’s scary scenes are. Wonder if Mr Abraham’s writing is that nail-biting.

  45. C.hobbiti
    4:08 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Sniff. What an honor.

  46. Riö -The Evil Pug
    4:18 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Boarding!…Nana and Maskers are boarding their aeroplane…yeeep!…Take-off in about 45 – 50 minutes…grunt!

  47. Siber-H
    4:43 pm on August 1st, 2014

    We want to see a picture of Harris whenever anyone has the time to take it.

    Are we going to get to see Nana’s plane on the green map?

  48. Riö -The Evil Pug
    4:55 pm on August 1st, 2014

    SiberH!…Only if it takes off!…snorkel!

  49. Riö -The Evil Pug
    4:56 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Taxiing!….Nana and Maskers are taxiing down the run-way…wheeze!

  50. Wose-the small and meek
    5:05 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Harris! Yay, a puppy for our very own Hobbit.

    We must have pictures immediately !

  51. Herd of Hounds
    5:13 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Harris is a character’s name and WE are sure Harris is a character, 🙂

  52. Herd of Hounds
    5:41 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Lucy Lou and Darah Thea, the black Canadians were just up top…tip top 🙂

  53. Riö -The Evil Pug
    5:44 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Airborne!…Nana and Maskers are safely in the friendly skies…snort!snort!

  54. Herd of Hounds
    5:53 pm on August 1st, 2014

    WE wish we could go along on the trip to So Cal. Been a long time…10 years as of today 🙁

  55. Riö -The Evil Pug
    7:03 pm on August 1st, 2014

    California!…Nana and Maskers are jetting over CA right now – they are almost to their destination!…snort!

  56. Riö -The Evil Pug
    7:04 pm on August 1st, 2014

    ETA!…30 minutes till they start landing procedures…chuffle!

  57. Siber-H
    7:08 pm on August 1st, 2014

    That was a short trip as the plane flies.
    Thank you, Rio

  58. Riö -The Evil Pug
    7:22 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Close!…They are very close now!! Ten minutes and counting!…Woooo!

  59. Riö -The Evil Pug
    7:36 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Landed!….Our good friends have landed safe and soundly….whew!

  60. Barb & Maggie
    7:37 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Well, I attended the McHenry County Fair program and Josh was given his award. It was quite an honor! The Illinois Bureau of Tourism came out and gave a talk about tourism and then they said that every year they honor an individual who has contributed a lot to promote local business and tourism for the area. That person was Josh. He had no idea that he was getting the award, so it was really cool. He was speechless, which doesn’t happen often.

  61. Thieves!
    7:57 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Congrats to Josh!

  62. Herd of Hounds
    8:58 pm on August 1st, 2014

    B&M, what an honor! You should be so proud of him 🙂
    Glad that Nana is safe in So Cal. What a fun weekend we will have.

  63. Diane C.
    9:13 pm on August 1st, 2014

    Hello Everyone–I’m still trying to catch up, blown away by the “Ballgame” picture and glad to hear that Nana and Co. have arrived safely.
    Edgar, Conan and Ms. Pretty all newly wonderfluffed (I love that term) and A/C is working. I cross my fingers and hold my breath as things are going OK for now.
    Aincerely hope the same holds true for all of you. (T and G’s Mama–how’s the mystery wound coming?)

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