Getting Somewhere

Bernie stuck the shell casing in his pocket. “Twenty-two long,” he said, “but that doesn’t rule out a handgun, Chet.” No problem. If Bernie said so then that was that. He glanced around. “Everything’s so clean and tidy. Smell anything, big guy?”

Did I smell anything? Was that the question? Where to start? First, I smelled me, of course: old leather, salt and pepper, mink coats, and just a soupçon of tomato; and to be honest, a healthy dash of something male and funky. And then Bernie, the best-smelling human male I’d ever smelled: apples, bourbon, and also salt and pepper. There were similarities in our smells, just another great thing about Bernie. The best-smelling human female was Suzie. Hey! I hadn’t seen her in ages. I kind of missed her. What was up with Bernie and Suzie? And that whole new Leda thing! Is that in To Fetch A Thief? And then there were lots of chemical smells coming from the walls, and cleaning fluid smells, and wax smells, and flower smells, and air-conditioning smells, and copper smells, and –

“Nothing?” said Bernie. “Then we’d better just start searching the place, top to bottom.”

Fine with me. Searching was a big part of the job at the Little Detective Agency. Once we found a whole bag of gold coins. How come we couldn’t keep them? I was never clear on that.

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77 Responses to “Getting Somewhere”

  1. BARB & MAGGIE
    4:52 am on June 11th, 2010

    Yesterday Bernie said it was a cartridge and today he calls it a shell casing. What's up with that?

  2. Melanie
    5:02 am on June 11th, 2010

    I found this at sff.net . .

    "Bullet" properly refers only to the projectile itself, and should not be used for "cartridge." However, this is quite a common misusage, even among people who should know better. An interesting reversal of a classic fallacy: thing contained for the container.

    A cartridge may also be called a "round", especially in military usage. "He had six cartridges left" or "He had six rounds of ammunition left" are equally correct, and mean exactly the same thing. But it is not correct to say, as did one very popular female mystery author,"It held eight rounds of cartridges."

    "Shell" properly refers to shotgun or artillery ammunition. All the same, it is common to hear "shell" or "shell casing" used to refer to empty cartridge cases, such as might be found at the scene of a shooting. "Brass" is another term sometimes heard, especially in the military or police; a detective at a shooting scene might say he was "looking for brass.""

  3. Melanie
    5:05 am on June 11th, 2010

    Other than that . . . I don't think the "healthy dash of something male and funky" is Bernie. I would like Bernie's smell; apples, bourbon and seasoning.

    So "male and funky" would probably NOT be Albie who smells of old cheese.

    The plot and the smells thicken!

    BTW, Riö and B. Stover, Jude Law? YSAS in one of his many Non acting jobs had to guard against Law groupies trying to get on stage when Jude Law was in a play in NYC.

  4. B. Stover
    5:14 am on June 11th, 2010

    I think "healthy dash of something male and funky" refers to Chet. I knew by today's title that we would be getting nowhere. It would be fascinating, though, to be able to smell (verb not noun) like Chet does.

    Jude Law is lovely.

  5. B. Stover
    5:22 am on June 11th, 2010

    Barb&Maggie: You could never be offputting. (Sorry Mollypop.) I've just had a lot of fun looking up the etymology of "book." It's extremely complex, of course, but what I found fascinating is: The word goes back to an Indo-European root word meaning "beech tree." People used the bark to write on. Also, the Latin word "liber" ("library" is, of course, derived from it) originally meant the inner bark of a tree. People used that to write on.

    I've used "book" as a verb, as in "book a flight." I've also heard my students use it as a verb meaning "leave": "I have to study so let's book." I thought it meant "hitting the books" but I was told that it meant leave or move in a hurry. It would be interesting to work out the derivation of that meaning.

  6. Riö - The Evil
    5:24 am on June 11th, 2010

    Melanie!…Chet was talking about himself when he said, “and to be honest, a healthy dash of something male and funky.”….snort!…. If only you would read all of the words….grunt!

    Conundrum! …Is it a cartridge or a shell casing?… snort!… Or is he purposely trying to confuse us?….grunt!

  7. Wookie of Chevy Chas
    5:52 am on June 11th, 2010

    Good morning everybody. Just a quick note before I book it out of here to see my acupuncturist (sorry, couldn't resist). Thanks to Rio and SiberH for the caution last night about use of personal identification information, that was good advice and one definitely needs to be careful. Having said that, you should be relieved to know that we did find a way to communicate on-line but off-line, if you know what I mean (and hopefully that is not too offputting). Anyway, I would hope that you would know that 00Wookie would never countenance a security breach of any sort. Wookie

  8. BARB & MAGGIE
    5:53 am on June 11th, 2010

    On what channel is Royal Pains, we can't find it. Wanted to check out YSAS.

  9. Riö - The Evil
    6:10 am on June 11th, 2010

    Wookie!… I am so glad you found a safe way to get in touch with Melanie!… snort!… Someone here says she can’t wait to see the little puppie quilts….grunt!… So there will have to be photos of puppies with their special Wookie-Tested blankies… wheeze!

  10. Riö - The Evil
    6:31 am on June 11th, 2010

    MapPie!… The show, ‘Royal Pains’, is on USA Thursday nights…snort!…Characters Welcome….heh!

  11. B. Stover
    6:39 am on June 11th, 2010

    Good morning Rio. You seem to be in a good mood. I'm going to watch Sherlock Holmes tonight and I'll try to hear what those last words are.

  12. Melanie
    6:53 am on June 11th, 2010

    You are right, oh mighty Riö! I'd blame it on lack of sleep but I was like this before hand!

  13. Riö - The Evil
    7:00 am on June 11th, 2010

    Stover!… I am in a good mood this morning!….snort!… My friend is home with me and we are going to go outside and play in the garden after she cleans the house …heh!…Busy season is being moved today and so she gets the day off from being so busy…gruff!

    Melanie!… How are the puppies today?….snort!… Are they interesting yet?…sniff!

  14. the Staff
    7:04 am on June 11th, 2010

    Good morning everyone,

    It is Friday and that means I get to have Old Fashioned Cream of Tomato Soup up in town today. We have lunch, go to the library and the quilt store and finish up with shopping!

    Wheeee!

    Such a fun day.

    My hubbie eats the same thing every time.

    He has a California Burger, (no fries) coffee with cream and chocolate pie.

    Every time.

    I don't know why they keep bringing him the menu.

    ~Staff

    (who will sometimes vary her menu but not often)

  15. Sam
    7:05 am on June 11th, 2010

    Rio and Melanie, I'm having a problem putting all the words together. I did read each one of them. So did Chet say he himself smelled of mink coats? It's the colon after "of course:" that's confusing me.

    B., what do you think about this?

  16. Siberian Husky
    7:16 am on June 11th, 2010

    The smell of cleaning fluids and copper? Copper is the smell of blood. Today it is a shell casing instead of a cartridge. We are back to where we were yesterday morning in our thoughts about what is going on.

  17. BARB & MAGGIE
    7:18 am on June 11th, 2010

    Rio, We love USA channel. Monk and Psych were 2 favorites. Ordered Sherlock Holmes today. We watched Fast Food Nation on tv the other night. It was totally GROSS!

  18. Riö - The Evil
    7:28 am on June 11th, 2010

    Wha!?… I don’t know why some of you guys are finding that sentence about Chet smelling himself so confusing….snort!… It makes perfect sense to me. …cough!…Although, I did have to lookup ‘soupçon’… wheeze!

  19. Siberian Husky
    7:31 am on June 11th, 2010

    Wookie, I am so glad you and Melanie found a way to make contact. The new puppy parents will really treasure those quilts, and so will the puppies.

  20. Riö - The Evil
    7:32 am on June 11th, 2010

    Colon:… “Use the colon after a complete sentence to introduce a list of items when introductory words such as namely, for example, or that is do not appear.”… wheeze!… from http://www.grammerbook.com…grunt!

  21. BARB & MAGGIE
    7:43 am on June 11th, 2010

    Soupcon is just a hint of something, and we agree, Chet was describing himself when he said male and funky.

  22. Siberian Husky
    7:45 am on June 11th, 2010

    Sure, dogs can smell themselves. I told you guys yesterday how bad I smelled. I'm working hard on getting that dusty, dirty, desert smell back. I know what I am suppose to smell like (not like a freakin powder puff) and so does Chet.

  23. B. Stover
    7:52 am on June 11th, 2010

    Sam: Rio's explanation about the colon is right on. The semi-colon (;)is used before "and to be honest, a healthy dash of something male and funky" because of the commas used to separate the list in the first part of that compound sentence. (Does my explanation make sense or not?)

    As for the confusion between shell casing and cartridge, of course it's intentional. To be honest, I find all things about guns to be almost as confusing as tin shares.

  24. B. Stover
    7:57 am on June 11th, 2010

    I guess I meant "tin futures" although I don't know if there's a difference. See….so confusing….

  25. Riö - The Evil
    8:00 am on June 11th, 2010

    Grandma!…Change of plans!… snort!… We are going to go eat lunch with grandma now….sneeze!… I wonder what kind of slop they will be serving today???… ugh!

  26. Siberian Husky
    8:00 am on June 11th, 2010

    Rio, it is a good thing that your best friend and my mother live a long distance from Melanie. They would both be at Melanie's front door wanting to see and help with the puppies.

  27. Melanie
    8:19 am on June 11th, 2010

    B Stover, xinay on the intay uturesfay. Don't need them coming up again. Good on ya, Siber-H on the copper smell! Past right by me. Of course, most is right now.

    Yup, someone got ahold of Bess here, and things are coming in the mail. A picture will be posted in the "Distant Future."

    Riö, the pups are not that interesting right now, unless you find peeing, pooping, feeding and squirming of interest. We do.

    Here's a picture of Zoë doing a supplemental feeding. We think we'll have to keep this up for another day or two.

    [img ]http://www.chetthedog.com/wp-content/uploads/1276276756-IMG_0832.JPG[/img]

  28. Melanie
    8:22 am on June 11th, 2010

    Riö, I tried the link to the grammar site. (snicker)

    For some reason they didn't like the …grunt at the end of the link!

  29. Sam
    8:37 am on June 11th, 2010

    Okay B. and Rio, I'm asking Mom to get my eyes checked. I never saw the semicolon. Maybe bigger print on the laptop screen would do the trick.

  30. Siberian Husky
    8:51 am on June 11th, 2010

    Sam, you are going to look so cute in glasses! Just kidding with you…the semicolon is hard to see.

  31. Barb & Maggie
    9:59 am on June 11th, 2010

    Bee, We are with you on the gun thing. We know almost nada about guns, except rifles and shotguns are long, and pistols are short.

  32. Riö - The Evil
    12:05 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Ooooo!…. Our stomachs do not feel very good…ugh!… Lunch tasted okay, but it has left a bad feeling in our guts… groan!… We just got home a little bit ago – we went to visit her mom and dad after that lunch….grunt!

    Sherlock!…Oh, I hope Stover can make out those last 3 words… snort!… That has been driving us crazy…. Wheeze!… In the movie, Watson has a bulldog named Gladstone… grunt!… That whole thing is pretty funny! Poor Gladstone….heh!… Was he in the books? I don’t remember Watson having a dog… cough!

  33. Riö - The Evil
    12:29 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Uh oh!… Its looking all dark and even a little greenish…gulp!… I think we are going to be in for it later… sniff!sniff!… Will this scary weather ever stop??… yeep!… I just heard thunder!… crap!

    Siberh!… Are you smelling more like your doggie self again??…heh!… Melanie, someone is breathing down my neck and asking me to ask you for more puppy pictures…Please!… Do it to get her off my back… grunt!

  34. Siberian Husky
    12:33 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Rio, you can find the script to the Sherlock Holmes movie on the internet.

    I'm going to a barbecue this evening with my folks. I can go because it is outdoors in their fenced backyard. They have a cat, but the cat stays in the house 24/7. I have promised mom that I wouldn't try peeking in the windows to look for the cat.

  35. Siberian Husky
    12:36 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Yes, thank you Rio…I am beginning to smell like my old self. It takes awhile. This was a determined groomer.

  36. Riö - The Evil
    1:02 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Storm!… Its POURING here!…snort!…And there are tornado warnings for our county…Yeep!Growl!… We may be downstairs very soon…crap!

  37. Siberian Husky
    1:02 pm on June 11th, 2010

    drat…Jimenez is pitching tonight and I will miss it. You'll have to clap for me, Rio. Maybe I will get home in time for some of the game.

  38. Siberian Husky
    1:04 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Head for the basement, Rio!!!!

    I have to book on outta here now…be back

  39. B. Stover
    1:44 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Rio: I just watched Sherlock Holmes. Lots of brawling but it was good. Of course, there will be another, this time with Prof. Moriarty. At the end Holmes is speaking to Constable Clark and he says, "Clarky, case reopened."

    SH: Enjoy your barbecue.

  40. Riö - The Evil
    1:50 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Clarky!…case reopened!….snort!…Really, are you sure?? I guess I was getting hung up on the whole Gladstone running out the front door and imagining Holmes remarking about that… grunt!….Cool! There will be another movie! Woooo!…wheeze!…I thought it had a lot of humor in it and I just loved the way Sherlock figured things out… heh!

  41. Riö - The Evil
    1:54 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Stover!…Thank you so much!… snort! … We both can rest easily now… heh!… Tonight we are watching the game, but she has “Inglorious Bastards” loaded into the DVD player. …grunt!…So if the game is not going well, we have a back-up plan…wheeze!…But, our star pitcher is up tonight so plan ‘B’ should not be an option.

  42. B. Stover
    2:07 pm on June 11th, 2010

    There was a Holmes/Watson movie titled Without a Clue (Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley) and Watson was actually the smart one. I don't remember if it is in the books or not, but in that movie Watson said several times to Holmes, "The case isn't closed until I say it's closed."

    Rio: Have fun watching the game.

  43. Barb & Maggie
    2:16 pm on June 11th, 2010

    We were just watching the evening news, and they said there was a parade in downtown Chicago for the Black Hawks. They were expecting around 350,000 people, but instead there were over 2 million. It was so hot that 200 people suffered heat strokes and were taken by ambulances to local hospitals. That Patrick Kane is sure a cute little piece of eye candy (according to someone here). Also the team awarded him this massive belt with a gold buckle that he gets to keep for the summer. Must be a MVP kind of thing. Wasn't it Mollypop's mom that likes Kane?

  44. Riö - The Evil
    2:43 pm on June 11th, 2010

    MagPie!… My friend tells me that she has seen The Cup up close!… snort!… She was front row at the parade in 1996 when the Avalanche won it!…gruff!…The parade went right by her office building downtown that year….heh!…It was very, very Exciting I hear!…wheeze!

  45. Riö - The Evil
    2:45 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Stover!…We did see that movie with Michael Caine and Ben Kensley, its been a long while back though… heh!… May have to rent it again!…hmmm!

  46. Melanie
    3:09 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Just finished watching Royal Pains on line. YSAS was not on this week. Hopefully, next week.

    Went back up and checked the post again. T-FAT is going to be interesting when it comes to Bernie's love life. Chet hasn't smelled Susie in a long time? And what whole Leda thing?

    I'm not fond of Leda, I think she should let Charlie have more time with Chet the Jet and Bernie (wonder how that rip is?).

  47. B. Stover
    3:16 pm on June 11th, 2010

    In the March 19 post, Chet mentioned "the whole new Leda situation." Pondering…

  48. Mollypop
    3:22 pm on June 11th, 2010

    MagPie! I love Pat Kane and so does cousin Sam. He is our local boy who becomes a star!

    He'll be coming home soon and Buffalo will go nuts!

  49. Riö - The Evil
    3:41 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Leda!… We don’t really know her, do we?… snort!… It takes two to cause a divorce usually, so Bernie might be partly to blame….grunt!… As much as we adore and love him, he may not be all that fun to live with, unless you are a dog!…gruff!…I sure wish I could live with him, but his life may be too active for me… groan!

  50. Riö - The Evil
    3:43 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Melanie!… ‘Royal Pains’. We just watched the first episode and we still don’t believe it… grunt!… Fonzie, really??? … snort!

  51. Melanie
    3:54 pm on June 11th, 2010

    I agree with "snort!" Riö.

    Good night all, Keep safe Riö.

  52. Riö - The Evil
    3:55 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Hey!…Where’s Lil Lexi today?…snort!… I told grandma that Lexi sent licks and tailwags to her… snuff!… And now I have a message from my grandma for her… snort!

  53. B. Stover
    4:04 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Fonzie as in Happy Days?

  54. Riö - The Evil
    4:08 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Fonzie!…The actor, not the character….snort!

  55. Barb & Maggie
    4:16 pm on June 11th, 2010

    We will watch Royal Pains next week to see if we get a look at YSAS.

    Leda is not our favorite either, but we really like Suzie. I don't think Leda likes our kind very much. Remember, Chet had to sleep out in the hallway when she was around? And Suzie always carries the best treats in her car. She gets my vote.

  56. Barb & Maggie
    4:26 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Rio, It's Friday night. Why aren't you going out for hot wings and beer? And what is the name of the really good treats that Suzie has in her car?

  57. Riö - The Evil
    4:31 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Susie!… Yes, it will be very interesting to see how Leda plays her cards in the next novel….snort!… Chet keeps bringing her up, so she must be a big part of the story….grunt!… For little Charlie’s sake, one can’t help hoping his parents will get back together, but we do remember an interview with Spencer saying something to the effect that Susie and Bernie were meant for each other….wheeze!…So I can’t help thinking ole pointy headed Spence has future plans for Susie and Bernie, even though Leda will cause some friction for them… heh!

  58. Riö - The Evil
    4:48 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Wow!…We are having the Second down-pour of the day!… Golly!… This rarely happens…sniff!sniff!… Lightning and thunder are back too…yeep!

    MagPie!… Are you referring to ‘Rover and Company’? Owned by a Simon Berg, they make organic top of the line dog treats!…yum!

  59. Riö - The Evil
    4:54 pm on June 11th, 2010

    MagPie!… Sorry! You had one other question about hot-wings and beer. The answer is “Lexi”….snort!

  60. Barb & Maggie
    5:13 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Yes, Rover and Company, that was what we were trying to remember. Thank you. And did you tell Lexi no beer for the rest of the year? 6 more months? Are you crazy?

  61. Riö - The Evil
    5:20 pm on June 11th, 2010

    MagPie!… Lexi was pretty adamant about the whole thing… snort!… I can give up beer for that long, just don’t take away any of my food!…heh!… Plus, she promised not to eat any junk food for the next 6 months! …grunt!

  62. Barb & Maggie
    5:48 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Barb is making a commitment this summer to healthier eating. More fish, chicken (heh), grass fed beef, fresh veggies, maybe a little weight loss. But can't quite give up the red wine, and maybe a little shot of bourbon from time to time, in honor of Bernie.

  63. Riö - The Evil
    5:57 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Barb!… Good for you on the healthy eating plan! That shot or two of bourbon …wow!… We sure wished we lived by you guys and Siberh and his mom… grunt!… My friend thinks we could be really good neighbors together…heh!

  64. Mollypop
    6:02 pm on June 11th, 2010

    MagPie! That's my Mom exactly! She eats just like you said and has no intention of giving up her red wine. She feels there are health benefits to red wine. She also adds scotch to the mix instead of bourbon, but they're not that much different.

    There is a microbrewery here that makes blueberry beer. Wow, since Mom is not a beer drinker. Everyone goes crazy over it.

  65. Riö - The Evil
    6:06 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Rain!…Well, the game was called hours ago because of all the rain, but now the game is on again IN THE RAIN!…snort!… It is bottom of the 1st and still raining….grump!…. This is very interesting, and I am wondering how long it will last….groan!

  66. Riö - The Evil
    6:09 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Blueberry Beer!…yuck!…snort!

  67. the Staff
    6:26 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Rio, Next Thursday we have to watch your star pitcher in the new baseball field in Minneapolis. I am looking forward to that. It should be interesting watching him pitch against the Twins.

    Foreshadowing of the World Series???

    Staff

  68. Riö - The Evil
    6:39 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Series!?… Unless my boys pick it up a big notch, it will be more like a “Dark Shadowing” event… sigh…They are in a slump they have to get through it soon! …grunt!…The talent is there, but something is wrong….groan!

  69. Barb & Maggie
    6:39 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Actually, the blueberry beer sounds sort of interesting. We are not normally beer drinkers, but we tried a beer recently with a hint(soupcon) of lemon, and it was really quite refreshing. Good night all, have to book off to bed.

  70. Riö - The Evil
    7:00 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Book-off!…MagPie!…heh!…Where the heck is Siberh?… Is he still at that BBQ?…snort!… I sure hope he smokes out that Kat while he is there!…snicker!… Sounds like that Kat is one who needs to be outside in the real world for a change…grunt!…(Wouldn’t it be funny if ‘that Kat’ was a relative of Alice Johnson??)… whoa! Stop right there!…ahhh!

  71. Riö - The Evil
    7:42 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Ridiculous! …. How can they continue this game in the rain!???…grump! ,,,OH WAIT!..Rockies are ahead now!…heh!….But it is Pouring down on all those guys…gasp!… What the hell??? …Game goes on…sheesh!…There is standing water around the bases for goodness sakes…(Rocks are ahead though)…heh!

  72. Alice Johnson
    7:53 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Are you in a rain delay now Rio?

  73. Riö - The Evil
    7:54 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Grump!… I think they are actually endangering the players welfare now…snort! …Too much sliding and craziness … damn! … Another Rain Delay should be called!… sniff!…

    Good night all! Where ever you were today!….heh!

  74. AbbietheKitty
    7:55 pm on June 11th, 2010

    Goodnight Rio,

    Sleep well.

    AbbietheKitty

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