Foster: Here/Not Here

Foster sat down in the kitchen.

“Whatever you’ve got, let’s have it,” Bernie said.

“First thing,” Foster said, “I’m not here.”

“Got it,” Bernie said.

He did? I didn’t get that at all. Foster was here, all right. I could see him – and smell him, too, of course. He smelled nervous, also gave off waves of the same after-shave that Crock Mullican used to wear, and maybe still does if after-shave is allowed at Central State. We’ve still got Crock’s AR-15, locked in the safe with the other guns. The safe’s in the office, behind the picture of Niagara Falls, but that’s between me and Bernie. We’ve got lot of waterfall pictures, on account of … I don’t know, we just do.

Where was I?

Link to Bookpage review of Bullet Point:


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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 4th, 2010 at 8:11 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

74 Responses to “Foster: Here/Not Here”

  1. B. Stover
    3:52 am on May 4th, 2010

    Since Foster is "not" there, he is going to spill the beans. (Wonder where we came up with that expression. I'll have to try to find out.) Chet, you're being circuitous as usual, but I love you anyway.

    Now I have to go give a final exam.

  2. B. Stover
    3:57 am on May 4th, 2010

    Rio: "Ruff" as in lace collar? Or the onomatopoeiac word for bark? Feathers on a bird? Or rough? I don't like it.

    I've never watched The Good Wife. Now I suppose I'll have to get the dvd since Alan Cummings is in it.

  3. dawson
    4:27 am on May 4th, 2010

    What? How many guns do you have in that safe and how'd you get Crock's? Wait, no, forget it. Just listen to what Foster is saying.

    Hey! This morning there was a Canadian Goose couple on the front lawn. Just hanging out. Mollypop, I thought of you…the great fuzzbutt and waterfowl chaser (not hunter). We have lots of bunnies too. You could keep busy around this yard.

  4. Melanie
    4:30 am on May 4th, 2010

    "Spill the beans" some think it's from a voting system used in ancient Greece. Votes had to be unanimous, so if there were any black beans (just say no) in with the white (just say yes) the vote was not passed. The Greeks didn't even have to count the beans, they just "spilled" the beans and looked for the black.

    Others think Naw, that ain't right, cause "spill the beans" didn't get used as in Foster's context until the 20th century in USA.

    "Spill" the verb usage for "divulge" or "let out" has been since the 14th century, as "to spill blood."

    Together they first showed up in 1908 and then again 1911. Know one knows why "beans" or if they do they "aren't spilling the beans," but there is also "spill your guts."

    Info from The Phrase Finder.

    Enough!! Shaking head and brain . . .

    Foster, I like him, sort of, I mean he is also a nasty sort of person or at least has interesting job concerns. I hope he and Chet gets along even though Foster and Bernie have Chet a bit confused.

  5. Melanie
    4:32 am on May 4th, 2010

    Whoops, that should be No one, not know one.

  6. dawson
    4:52 am on May 4th, 2010

    Whole lotta 'knowing' going on.

  7. Jasper the Poodle
    5:20 am on May 4th, 2010

    That Bernie and Chet! They got water up the yingyang.

  8. Riö - The Evil
    5:29 am on May 4th, 2010

    Snort!… Chet’s cracking me up this morning!… heh!…Laughing even before my first bowl of coffee!… grunt!… It’s going to be a good day.

    Stover!… It was supposed to be a word for bark…. Doesn’t matter really…snort! …I think The Good Wife is in its second season. That’s when Alan Cummings started showing up…wheeze!… It’s not my favorite show by all means, but not too terrible… snort!

  9. Mollypop
    5:37 am on May 4th, 2010

    Kats' Staff, the iPad starts at $499 and that could buy a lot of dog toys if you ask me. Mom says with the savings on the newspapers, this will be paid for in YEARS.

    This morning Mom found an app that will let her read the same book on her Kindle and on the iPad. Now yer cookin', she said.

  10. Mollypop
    6:20 am on May 4th, 2010

    We're going to walk into town now with the Kindle and drink coffee. Later we will test if the book on the iPad comes up at the place we were reading.

    We go into the delightful little shops, some sell quilts (Kats and Wookie), and best of all, they all allow dogs. Just the children have to be on a leash.

  11. Siberian Husky
    6:39 am on May 4th, 2010

    Chet: Mom understands completely why Bernie has a lot of waterfall pictures. I don't, but she does. She even watches The Deadliest Catch on tv–not because of any interest in crab fishing. She doesn't even like crab. She just loves all the photography of the Bering Sea. Gag, I don't watch that program.

    I do watch Ice Road Truckers because all the water in that program is frozen, and, hey, it helped us get to the Arctic Ocean.

  12. Riö - The Evil
    6:45 am on May 4th, 2010

    Wow!… Another great review of Bullet Point!… snort!… And now I know where the name comes from… grunt!

    Molly!… heh!.. good one.

  13. Gus and BooBear
    7:17 am on May 4th, 2010

    We just love how Chet rambles from one story to several others. We actually learn a lot of trivia from him that all somehow becomes important later on.

  14. Melanie
    8:32 am on May 4th, 2010

    Wonderful review! It's supposed to get here today. I'm first in line!!

    The Pack is being weird. 67 degrees outside, sunny and little breeze and they are all inside panting.

    Could they have seen radar of the severe weather line coming out way? Can they feel the pressure change? Or are they just resting up for fun later?

    A mystery for us to ponder. Pondering about a name. Chet's pondering about waterfall pictures and Foster not being there, but is . . .

    Lots of pondering today.

  15. Riö - The Evil
    8:33 am on May 4th, 2010

    Ramblin’ Chet!…. He’s hilarious when he really gets going, like today… heh!… I just hope we don’t miss what Foster is telling Bernie …. sigh.

  16. Tweets that mention Foster: Here/Not Here: Foster sat down in the kitchen. “Whatever you’ve got, let’s have it,” Bernie said. “First t... --
    10:12 am on May 4th, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ChetTheDog. ChetTheDog said: Foster: Here/Not Here: Foster sat down in the kitchen. “Whatever you’ve got, let’s have it,” Bernie said. “First t… […]

  17. Riö - The Evil
    9:28 am on May 4th, 2010

    Alright!… I’ve been waiting and waiting and still no photo of Bess is anywhere to be seen today!… grunt!… What gives Melanie?…. cough!

  18. BStover
    9:49 am on May 4th, 2010

    I'm pondering about Hamlet lending Bullet Point "an undertone of menace." Sounds interesting so I'm going to have to start BP. It will be a good break from reading final exams.

  19. Melanie
    10:05 am on May 4th, 2010

    It came!!!

    Uh, Bess's photo will have to wait.

    Tomorrow, Riö!

  20. Riö - The Evil
    10:10 am on May 4th, 2010

    Wha!??…. No way!… snort!… You can surely take a few minutes and download Bess onto your computer and then post her photo from me… Please?? …. Ahhhh, shucks… grumble!

  21. dawson
    10:47 am on May 4th, 2010


    Mollypop: Sounds like the shops in your area are great. But $499. for an ipad, not so great. well, not for low-tech me anyway.

    Siber H.: Those ice road truckers are up in my area. With the global warming/climate change they are gonna be on the endangered species list.

    Melanie: It's a nice day here also and yet I've spent all afternoon inside…reading Oblivion is my excuse. Just finished. What a great read.

  22. Mollypop
    10:48 am on May 4th, 2010

    B, I'm guessing that you finished Reality Check. We started it this morning and are loving it!

  23. B. Stover
    11:33 am on May 4th, 2010

    Mollypop: Yes, I finished Reality Check and really enjoyed it. I liked all of the characters especially Cody. I'll say no more for now. Let me know when you've finished.

    Melanie: You are a wonderful researcher. Thank you. I also found that "spill" may be derived from Old English spildan–to destroy (spill blood)–or from Latin spolium from Greek sphallein–to cause to fall. I still want to check the OED. Words are fascinating.

    Regarding the ipad at $499: The last time I subscribed to the "paper" New York Times (delivered seven days per week) it cost over $600. I do think that the ipad would pay for itself easily. I'm going to check one out with a computer-whiz friend of mine. (I have noticed that computer people are not impressed by the ipad.)

  24. B. Stover
    11:37 am on May 4th, 2010

    Gus and Boobear: I'm interested in your comment about the trivia Chet reveals and that it becomes important later. Can you give an example? (I know that I sound like an English teacher, but please ignore that aspect of this post.)

  25. B. Stover
    11:41 am on May 4th, 2010

    Bete noir: "Read" used as a noun. (Sorry, but it drives me crazy and I probably shouldn't let any of you know that.)

  26. Mollypop
    12:19 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Oh B, what could you possible mean? We all know a good read when we see one. Tee hee.

  27. B. Stover
    12:21 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Oh no!!

  28. Riö - The Evil
    12:23 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Hmmm!… Now we know how to drive Stover crazy!… heh!

  29. Riö - The Evil
    12:31 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Heh!…Aren’t words fun?… snort!

  30. B. Stover
    12:34 pm on May 4th, 2010

    If I had a tail it would be drooping.

  31. Melanie
    12:50 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Brain skip here. We'd ordered Reality Check not Bullet Point yet. Jeeze. So I'm reading that and the first chapter has me hooked.

    Sorry about the picture Riö. Shortly after that post, the storms hit! Was that you doing a bit of temper tantrum?

    Several trees down around us, Must have had wind sheer. Luckily all is well here in the Pack. Franklin tried to sit in my lap. He does not like thunder.

  32. Mollypop
    1:01 pm on May 4th, 2010

    B, we didn't know the Times cost that much. Mom reads Sam's copy when we're there. The iPad was to be able to get the local paper which is 75 cents for weekdays and then to be able to finally get the Times every day when we're in ski country. So this is a bonanza.

    Then this app business with the Kindle and iPad is perfect – the best of both worlds. iPad is better for indoor reading and Kindle for outdoors or carrying around. Now interchangeable! Both devices keep track of where we're reading. Woo hoo.

  33. Riö - The Evil
    1:04 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Ohhh Melanie!… Now would be a good time to post that photo of Bess ….snort! … It might even cheer Stover up…. heh!

  34. Siberian Husky
    1:13 pm on May 4th, 2010

    We will just have to keep reminding Melanie about the photo of Bess. She will get tired of listening to us yap.

    Dawson: sniff, of my favorite tv programs is going to be a victim of global warming..what next?

    Melanie: We can feel the pressure change. (Mom just walked by and told me I was making that up) I am not.

  35. B. Stover
    2:05 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Mollypop: I know that amazon now has ipad capability. So, if you order a book on the Kindle, you can get it also on the ipad, no extra charge?

  36. B. Stover
    2:11 pm on May 4th, 2010

    In the OED "spill" takes up eight columns–two and one-half pages. My brain is too tired to digest all of that at the moment.

  37. B. Stover
    2:13 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Melanie: Actually it would cheer me up to have the photo of Bess posted just to make Rio happy.

  38. Mollypop
    2:15 pm on May 4th, 2010

    B, yes, that was this morning's happy discovery. Mom bought Reality Check from Amazon, then opened the iPad and loaded it there from Amazon. She read the book on the iPad for a bit and then we took the Kindle off to town for coffee. When she opened the book on Kindle, it ask if she wanted it to be on the same page as the iPad was.

  39. B. Stover
    2:38 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Mollypop: That is excellent news!

  40. B. Stover
    2:40 pm on May 4th, 2010

    What is the consensus among dogs and cats on this blog (Chet?) regarding ground squirrels? There is such a cute one in my garden.

  41. Melanie
    3:00 pm on May 4th, 2010

    I didn't take one, but I did find a pic of Bess in iPhoto and have attached it.

    So here you go Riö!

    Oh, also ground squirrels . . . are those the same as chipmunks?

    We have chipmunks here. They are too fast for the Pack.

    [img ][/img]

  42. Melanie
    3:01 pm on May 4th, 2010

    She's standing in our river. The drool is from catching treats thrown in the water. Plus, all Newfs drool!

  43. B. Stover
    3:45 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Thanks SH. Border Collie? Interesting, but I don't really know what that means.

    I think that it's probably the lice on the squirrels that carry the plague.

  44. Riö - The Evil
    3:58 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Squirrels!… We had a mad maniac squirrel on the loose last Spring!… geeze!… He was a really big fat brown one who was terrorizing a much smaller one….snort!…We think the little one was a ‘she’ and was hiding under our neighbors lawn mower and the big fat one was screaming at her to come out!… I swear!… grunt!… He (big fat one with a beer can in his hand) was acting very aggressively. So my friend got up and scared him away with a big bad shovel… shudder!… Eventually the little squirrel came out from under the lawn mower and ran away… wheeze!… Partially true story. The beer can is something I dream about these days… sigh.

  45. B. Stover
    4:08 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Poor Rio. One beer a week can't hurt, can it? On the other hand, as I understand it, red wine is good for you.

  46. Riö - The Evil
    4:17 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Sigh… If only I could acquire a taste for it… grunt!… It would just stain my fur and I would look like a Pug Clown… groan.

  47. dawson
    4:29 pm on May 4th, 2010


    B.Stover: I did not mean to drive you crazy. My mother was an English teacher. When I first moved up to the North I was driven crazy by grammatical and spelling mistakes. After 18 years my grammar is baaaad. I admit it. But I'm grateful to be literate because a high percentage of our population is not. The man I hired to do some sheetrock work had a 3rd grade education and could not read. I don't know how you can get by in life without knowing how to read but he seems to do just fine. And the Newfoundlanders, I couldn't even understand them at first. There is a lot of them in the town and they have their own dialect, which is wonderful once you can understand it, but definitely not grammatically correct.

    Siber H: It'll take a long time for the ice roads to go extinct. They just are available for shorter periods and as long as it's economically viable they will be used. Your show is safe.

  48. dawson
    4:59 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Rio: If you google ice roads they can explain better than I can. Ice Road Truckers is a tv show presumably about the truckers who drive these ice roads.

  49. B. Stover
    4:59 pm on May 4th, 2010

    I'd love to hear the Newfoundlander's dialect. It's sad to think that there are people who can't read.

  50. Siberian Husky
    5:13 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Stover, Border Collies are always thought of as the smartest dog breed. You poodles are at the top of the list also.

    It's the fleas on the rodents that carry the plague-just like it was the fleas on the rats that brought the Black Death during the Middle Ages.

  51. Riö - The Evil
    5:16 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Hmmm!.. I want to hear SiberH’s version of Ice Road Truckers…snort!… Baseball is on and there is no time to Google-Gobble right now…. grunt!

  52. Riö - The Evil
    5:18 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Beer Here!… Beer Here!… Beer Here!… Yea!… heh!… With enough whining and crying one can get anything!… gulp!

  53. Siberian Husky
    5:20 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Oh, if only there were a North Pole Channel. It's on the History Channel, Rio. I'm the only one I know that likes the show, Ice Road Truckers. Mom thinks it is rather dumb, but the scenery is beautiful.

  54. Riö - The Evil
    5:23 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Hmmphf!… That’s not a good explanation of Ice Road Truckers!… gulp gulp!

  55. dawson
    5:24 pm on May 4th, 2010

    B.Stover: Just Google Newfoundlander dialect and you'll come up with some examples of their speech.

    Estimates of functionally non-literates in B.C. run as high as 45 percent! Immigrants and aboriginals have the some of the highest rates but just small rural populations also have high rates. One thing you see where I live is young people dropping out of school to go make big bucks working in the bush for oil and gas companies.

  56. Riö - The Evil
    5:35 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Cassie!…The Butt Sniffing dog was part Border Collie!… snort!… She was a very smart girl dog… grunt!… I really miss her experience and knowledge about all things human… wheeze!… and Sheep! … heh!… God knows what she would have been up to if she would have been a full blooded Border Collie!….heh!

  57. Siberian Husky
    5:35 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Rio, Ice Road Truckers is on of those reality shows where they follow different 18- wheeler truck drivers as they drive the Dalton highway from Fairbanks to the Arctic ocean. They can only drive that route when it is froze over in winter. They haul equipment for all the oil and gas exploration that they are doing on Alaska's North Slope. I just watch it for the scenery and adventure–great photography of the tundra. I have to block out even thinking about what they are doing and want to do to the environment of Alaska's North Slope.

  58. dawson
    5:40 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Ice Roads are built to bring supplies that would otherwise have to be air freighted to remote areas (like for oil and gas companies). They are typically built across waterways or muskeg where traditional roads would be too expensive to build. You can't drive on them like pavement and of course there is always the chance that you may fall through, especially when the weather starts to warm up. If you go to fast you can create waves beneath the ice and that can be dangerous. If your heater stops working you could get severe frostbite. Or if you have mechanical problems or go in the ditch it can get a little bit hairy. So it takes a certain kind of person to do this work. These are the ice road truckers.

  59. dawson
    5:43 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Good Night Wagging Tails

  60. Siberian Husky
    5:47 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Very good Dawson. Together, I think we have given Rio a complete report. I didn't go into the ice roads that go to the diamond mines in northern Canada. I have an emotional problem with the way the are ripping up the tundra to mine diamons.

  61. Riö - The Evil
    5:53 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Wow!… Brave men, but doing the work of the devil… snort!… I get it now… thanks…. Sorry, I am just so upset about the Gulf Coast tragedy… grunt!.. I have been to Alaska and I have seen it’s beauty…wheeze!… That is a place I never want to see messed up… “The Last Frontier”… sigh.

  62. Siberian Husky
    6:02 pm on May 4th, 2010

    May there always be a "Last Frontier"

    Goodnight Friends


  63. Riö - The Evil
    6:15 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Good night SiberH! … Thanks for the education about Ice freakin’ Road Truckers…mmmm.

  64. Riö - The Evil
    6:44 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Oh! .. And thanks also to, D a w so n, for info about the ice freakin’ sell-out truckers…snort! … As Jesse would say (from Breaking Bad), “Beeeeiiiitches.!”…and “Unacceptable”, from Walter. …heh!… Just wise truth from low-life drug dealers who I hold in higher regard than the Ice Road Truckers at this moment….

    Really?… snort!… You guys watch this show?

  65. Riö - The Evil
    6:47 pm on May 4th, 2010

    hmmphf!…Back to baseball where things are orderly and exciting…sniff!…beer (maybe?).. crap!

  66. Riö - The Evil
    7:05 pm on May 4th, 2010

    AbbieTheKat!… Does your team do funny commercials???… oh!oh!… The Rockies have the best funny little skits they do, like commercials, but way better …Snort….I love them so much!…heh!… Our guys are good actors too!…mmmm!…and funny!

  67. B. Stover
    8:11 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Bess is wonderful! She would cheer up anyone.

    I think that chipmunks and ground squirrels are from the same…what…family? I thought chipmunks were “fatter.” This ground squirrel is slim, with round “stripes” and very very fast.

  68. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:25 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Oooo… My Bess!… She is wet and wooly! … snort!…Is she looking for Zebras in this photo?

    Hey!… Today is “Teacher Appreciation Day!”… and also “Star Wars Day!”… snort!… Image that?… Stover I just want to say how much I appreciate you, and I know you like Science Fiction, so Star Wars Day sort of fits right in…. gruff!… Did you get any special gifts from your students today?… mmmm?

  69. Melanie
    8:26 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Thanks B Stover. I ended up looking them up. (snicker) The chipmunk is of the Genus: Tamias and member of the Tribe Marmotini. The same tribe of the ground squirrels.

    Looking at the different pics, we definitely have chipmunks and not ground squirrels. Though, an interesting aside, in this area we have black squirrels. They are really gray squirrels that have different pigment in their fur. But in areas around here, the black squirrel has become the dominate gene.

    Also have you noticed the more you type squirrel the more it looks like you’ve spelled it wrong?

    On that thought I think I better head towards bed. I have a great book (Reality Check) to read.

  70. Siberian Husky
    8:28 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Rio is gonna love it!! Bess looks very, well, Newfie. CUTE! Thanks Melanie.

    Ground Squirrels are for chasing. One of the critters has a nice home underneath a concrete slab in my yard. I dug a very deep hole right at the entrance so it would fall in it and be trapped. My plan didn’t work. I’m going to have to think of something else.

    In NM ground squirrels can carry the plague, but not in the area I live in, not yet anyway.

  71. Siberian Husky
    8:38 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Happy Teacher Appreciation Day to Stover! I think of her as our honorary Border Collie (that’s a compliment)

  72. B. Stover
    8:39 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Melanie: Have fun reading. I’m just starting Bullet Point. I really like squirrels, chipmunks, ground squirrels. They are so independent and confident, as though they can take on anything and win.

    Rio: I had never heard of Teacher Appreciation Day. Interesting. My students are so involved in finals at the moment that they can think of nothing else. It sounds sentimental (and I never think of myself as being sentimental), but I suppose that I consider my students themselves as special gifts. They are so young and alive and they have so much potential. They are really a lot of fun to be around.

  73. Riö - The Evil
    7:53 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Well!.. I just can’t stay up till these West Coast baseball games are done!…snort!…. going to bed now….grunt!…. May the best team win!

    I think, there are so many things on my mind and heart tonight that I could not even say enough to the Lord of All Creation, in writing. It will be personally for me tonight … as maybe it should be for all of you.

  74. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:44 pm on May 4th, 2010

    Okay!…. What is “Ice Road Truckers”?… snort!… I have been waiting for clues but it seems everyone but me knows who or what they are… grunt! … I don’t watch the North Pole Channel….wheeze!

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