Financial Advice
Bernie’s up early, sipping coffee, tapping away at the computer. “Economy’s in trouble, big guy. But here’s what to remember – you can play it either way. That’s the beauty of capitalism.”
Oh, no.
“For example, looks like Italy’s going down the tubes. Too bad – I always wanted to go there. But you can’t get emotional about this.” He picks up the phone. “Waldo?” he says.
Waldo – our new financial adviser. Bernie says that story about him in the paper made something or other look worse than it was.
“Waldo? Got a question for you. Is there a futures market in pasta? If so, I want to short pasta. Big time, Waldo. Everything we’ve got.”
I look around for something to gnaw on.
Tags: finances, futures, Italy, shorting pasta
This entry was posted on Friday, August 5th, 2011 at 7:58 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
8:33 am on August 5th, 2011
Oh, Bernie…
Good morning, y’all! Mom doesn’t have to work today so she slept in an hour, so she and Dad were later taking their walk this morning. They both just came back sopping wet. Thank dog for air conditioning!!!
8:47 am on August 5th, 2011
(Sigh)…Bernie, Bernie, Bernie
Hey there, Kirby!
Top of the Morning to All!
Rio: Saw your post about being too old last night…How dare you! I just had to go watch the Yankees sweep the White Sox!!!
I’m not sure if this is going to work!!!
8:48 am on August 5th, 2011
Sorry guys, the original looks much better….
9:33 am on August 5th, 2011
I started laughing as soon as I saw the title. I’m going to look for something to gnaw on also.
Good morning all.
9:39 am on August 5th, 2011
Thank you Rose. I saw that picture online but can’t remember where.
9:40 am on August 5th, 2011
You did an excellent job, Rose!
Morning all! I think Chet needs to gnaw on the phone cord.
9:52 am on August 5th, 2011
Melanie: Won’t work if Bernie has wireless!
10:22 am on August 5th, 2011
T&G: Thanks for the explanation of fishers. I Googled Cape Cod and saw images of “forest.” Nice allusion to Frost.
Kirby: That’s a good point! Let’s see, is Bernie’s phone wireless….
10:27 am on August 5th, 2011
Hi there, B:
I actually think Melanie may have posted it to the blog, but the picture was black and white.
10:43 am on August 5th, 2011
Good morning all. We get to play with the computer this morning since Mama says 1.)the competition items are now in the hands of the judges 2.) the plane tickets, hotel, rental car and parking details are all handled 3.) dinners for Gramp are done and in the freezer 4.) bills and paperwork are handled 5.) there’s no time to properly creat and cure clay before we leave, so she can’t start anything 6.) the house is as clean as its gonna be, and finally 7.) she doesn’t have to go to Crazy Lady Land until late this afternoon.
So instead of being industrious, she is lazing around the house, read the newspaper cover to cover (yikes!) did both Sudoku puzzles (Friday has a bonus one) and in order to support Chet and Bernie, she has dinner planned -PASTA!
Tell ya what – she certainly thinks a lot of herself, just laying around, not doing much…guess we better get up from our nap in the sunny spot of the carpet and go lay down near her to keep on eye on her. Tell ya what – a doggie’s work is never done!
10:43 am on August 5th, 2011
Macy – You’re sending out x-rated emails?
Spammers may have gotten into your email account. You will be sending all kinds of email without knowing it. In most cases the spammers have also changed your password. If that is the case, you need to contact the company (ex. Yahoo, gmail) so they can close the account to kick out the spammers and then open it again for you with a new password.
10:47 am on August 5th, 2011
Pasta sounds more promising than some of Bernie’s investment and gambling ideas.
Chet, you can get TMJ from too much knawing. I speak from experience.
Kirby, loved your bootie poem fron the other night.
Good job, Rose. The photo works for me and it can be enlarged and zoomed in on.
11:00 am on August 5th, 2011
Siber-H: How do you zoom on it? I clicked on the photo and it got larger, but I don’t know what to do to make it zoom. I ended up clicking on the photo, then doing a right click on it, then copied it to a Word document. Then I could enlarge it and read the article. Worked like a charm!
11:11 am on August 5th, 2011
Kirby, There is a feature on my computer that lets me zoom in and out…the print on the screen will get much bigger or smaller depending on which way I zoom. I just accidentally found this feature a few weeks ago and it freaked me out till I figured out how to control it.
11:13 am on August 5th, 2011
Bee – in high school we had a wonderful Speech Class teacher who was the godchild of Frost. So we were exposed to a wide variety of his work, along with many other poets.
One time when the assignment was to memorize and present any long poem, Mama chose a lesser known Frost poem, “Pan with Us” because it spoke to her. When she was done, her teacher was in tears. Seems RF had written that poem for her, and about her after she had related a day of play in the fields around his home. Mama remembers that poem to this day. (and she always gets the Frost questions right on Jeopardy…they do seem to have a lot of them)
11:28 am on August 5th, 2011
Siber-H! A techie
Siber-H! A Techie! Good for you!
B: Gnawing here too. Maybe on our last TDA statement. As Rio would say – YEEP! (Friend where were you when we needed you!)
Dawson: T&G’s famous comment: Golinks(s) about covers it – your missing auction items, the financial meltdown, etc.
Rose: You did it!
Good Morning (I guess…..)
11:45 am on August 5th, 2011
Masquers: What is a TDA statement?
11:47 am on August 5th, 2011
Advice!….Sorry Maskers. My friend says she would never ever try and tell anyone to sell or buy stocks and bonds….snort! …If anyone asks, she would say, “I can’t tell you what to do, but here is what I did….”…sniff!….Or some other non-committing type of remark.
Pasta!… Now I am hungry. I love pasta, short or long…..heh!….Bernie is going to lose his shorts messing around in Italian futures…chorkel! …He will probably lose all of Chet’s slim jims too! Better hide them all big guy!…snort!snort!
11:48 am on August 5th, 2011
Stover!…In Maskers case it stands for “The Damage Assessment”….wuffle!sneeze!
11:49 am on August 5th, 2011
There is a Pissarro exhibit at the Clart Art Institute in Williamsburg, Mass. until Oct. 2. He’s one of my favorite Impressionists.
12:11 pm on August 5th, 2011
B. TDA = TDAmeritrade. We all knew what was coming, and as Bernie says, there is the “glass half full” view point to consider here. Although, I might think twice about Pasta.
T&G: I love Robert Frost too! My favorite is “The Road Less Traveled”.
Macy: A couple of weeks ago a spammer got into our accoutant’s email account. They then sent everyone on her list a plea for funds saying they were stranded in London and to please wire $4,000 immediately. She ended up closing it down and opening up a new .com account. One can understand why Rio is not very trusting.
12:19 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio: A couple of weeks ago the offer came up to invest in the Bond market, however there was the minimum investment, which we didn’t have at the time. I am happy to hear your friend followed her intuition – always the best thing to do.
12:32 pm on August 5th, 2011
Bonds!…When interest rates are low, bonds go up…grunt!… All puppies learn this in obedience training…heh!… I picked it up off the street myself…sniff!
Christmas!!… Is right around the corner which means The Big Race is just around the block….wuffle!….Is everyone here thinking what I am thinking???….snorkel!
12:35 pm on August 5th, 2011
Bernie: Don’t order the pasta, Bernie.
SiberH: I laughed at you getting discombobulated by the zoom feature. You’ll be uploading and downloading before long.
T.G: I will look for that poem about Pan by Frost. Nice story. I’m glad you got a little relaxation time this morning.
Rose: They showed that Yankee game on my t.v. last night. I have recorded a show about Jeter and his road to 3000 hits. Someday I’ll get to watch it.
12:50 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio: What are you thinking? I’m thinking I should have my auction items by Christmas. I’m going to the Post Office.
12:51 pm on August 5th, 2011
Hey cool B.Stover! I’ll have to try to get up there. Need to score some free tickets. Love that museum.
funny story: OTAS and I love going to the Clark Art Institute. We’re only 45 minutes away, if that. His first oil painting was a small self portrait. He gave it to me. I gave it back to him framed in molding used by the Clark for their famous paintings. We hoped to sneak it in, but haven’t yet!
Here’s a quick pic of it. Sorry it’s a bit out of focus. The framer loved the idea of it.
12:52 pm on August 5th, 2011
Hi Folks!
The family is heading up to Alta today. The Artic Circle and the Land of the Midnight Sun.
Too much fun! New smells and places to run.
Will check back soon.
Bear
12:55 pm on August 5th, 2011
So the painting itself is around 5 inches square.
Been working on getting my room done for Patsy. The bed is now directly on the floor which lowers it by 10 inches. Patsy loves it. I was also going to move my computer into the smaller room, but Patsy likes me sitting in my computer chair and just reaching around and rubbing her ears. So the computer desk 3 feet by 8 feet is staying. Does make it a bit crowded, but Patsy has spoken or wagged as the case may be.
I now have a sitting room. A small rug, dresser and recliner which leaves Patsy an area to lie down on the wood if she gets hot.
Oh, I didn’t think of the wireless phone, because our cell phone does not work here! Such technology!
12:56 pm on August 5th, 2011
Thinking!…I’m thinking we should have another Snowhook Fund Raising Auction before Christmas and just in time for Dawson to get her Summer Auction items away from the Marauding Goats….heh! ….Maybe have it around the end of October or beginning of November….sniff!…. What do you all think?…chuffle!
1:09 pm on August 5th, 2011
Melanie: I love the painting and the frame.
Rio: I think that’s a fine idea.
1:16 pm on August 5th, 2011
My girl just gave me a — well, I can’t exactly call it a bath, because it wasn’t in a tub. More like a shower because she was squirting me with a hose. I’m with Siber-H. Water just isn’t my thing. But all in all not too bad. Wonderfluffing was not involved!
1:23 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio: A very good idea! I already have an auction item in mind. Making certain TMGs are taking a break from their nefarious activities of course.
Melanie: Patsy seems to be an excellent Supervisor. Heh!
1:26 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio, we like the idea of an Oct auction. Much later we will all be trying to get ready for the holidays. Will have to do some serious thinking on what to donate.
2:00 pm on August 5th, 2011
Hi Dawson: I have the documentary about Jeter taped as well. i’m worried about the Yankees because they now have to play the dreaded Red Sox, and both teams are tied for first place.
Rio: Great idea! I would like to contribute this time, and I know exactly what it is going to be…..
2:12 pm on August 5th, 2011
Melanie, Of course the framer loved the idea. How many frames is that really???? I am thinking 4 or 5. It looks very nice.
awww, I suppose I could do some more auction thingys. Yawn. October/November sounds far enough away. Wait a minute. It is only 2 months. Yikes. I am too lazy for that.
2:13 pm on August 5th, 2011
Zip, Nada, Zilch, Nothing.
2:23 pm on August 5th, 2011
Dawson! Those &^$#@%&*! marauding goats! Perhaps Bernie could make a special bookbag and Chet can hand, er, paw deliver the ARC to you!
2:24 pm on August 5th, 2011
Dawson: You would think that a least a couple of items would have slipped by the Marauders!
2:37 pm on August 5th, 2011
Staff!…Is that a “No”…sniff!…I’m keeping track….
2:38 pm on August 5th, 2011
Staff!…and it will be almost 3 months till said auction…grunt!
2:42 pm on August 5th, 2011
Post Office!
I still have one more chance today. This morning was a check to see if anything came in yesterday. Today’s mail is still being sorted.
BStover: I’ve read up on Prometheus. Next I will get Frankenstein from the library. However, if the Arc and/or Dan’s books ever come in the mail, all bets are off.
Melanie: OTAS’s self portrait belongs on the walls of an Art Institute except that possession is ownership is it not?
Rio: My financial advisor says I am forbidden from bidding but that I am welcome to submit items.
2:56 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio: I can come up with something, too. Don’t know what, yet, but I’ll think on it. 🙂
Dawson: Paws crossed!!!
3:13 pm on August 5th, 2011
BearSpiritDog: Your family is in the Arctic! Be careful of those polar bears.
3:23 pm on August 5th, 2011
Dawson: Actually, Lapland. More Reindeer, than Polar Bears. BTW: Hope your auction items arrive soon! Those M.Goats – damit!
3:25 pm on August 5th, 2011
Dawson: There is no rush regarding Frankenstein.
3:41 pm on August 5th, 2011
Bee: Are you going to post a syllabus? And is “The dog ate my homework” a valid excuse???
3:48 pm on August 5th, 2011
BearSpiritDog: So off where the Sami live? When I looked up Alta, they said it was in Finnmark, which I hadn’t heard of.
B.Stover: Oh good, no rush. I was wondering where I was going to fit that in. Besides, I have to get a dog so I have an excuse for missing homework. Wait! I have Chet. He works.
3:49 pm on August 5th, 2011
Bidding!… Thank Dawg!…snort! …If Dawson can’t bid maybe the rest of us will come away with an item or two….heh!
3:53 pm on August 5th, 2011
Staff: That is one frame!
Kirby T.: You are allowed to use “The other dogs ate my homework” at least until those interlopers leave.
Riö, it’s a yes here. Just have to figure out what to do . . .
Dawson: If possession is ownership, that painting is not leaving. It’s a good thing Riö’s friend does not give financial advice or you’d be buying up the lot again and then have to wait until after December to get it.
I would definitely bid on a frying pan that Dawson has tossed.
4:04 pm on August 5th, 2011
Melanie: Amazing you should bring that up. Tonight is the beginning of “Treaty Days” which go through the weekend. They might have the frying pan throwing contest. I haven’t seen an agenda yet but I will be on hand for the festivities.
Heck, if you’ll bid on it, I’ll go out in the back yard and toss one right now! Wait! That’s cast iron! It’ll cost a fortune to send. Besides, I could throw an aluminum one so much farther.
BearSpiritDog: Okay, Finnmark is a county in Norway. Fascinating. Beautiful scenery. I’ve always been curious about those ice hotels. And the Sami people.
4:15 pm on August 5th, 2011
You’re right Dawson, cast iron would be REALLY expensive.
Found two more pictures taken, not by me, during the performance. Both are of the duel.
First he’s up . . .
4:16 pm on August 5th, 2011
Then he’s down. Action happened between the two pics.
4:31 pm on August 5th, 2011
Great pictures Melanie. And then Laertes says his final lines and soon Hamlet says his–The Rest is Silence.
Kirby: I posted book lists for both classes on my blog. I can copy one of the syllabi that I post on Blackboard (the school’s online system) if you want me to.
NO EXCUSES WILL BE ACCEPTED FOR LATE HOMEWORK; it will be graded down one full grade for each day it is late.
I’m going with two friends to see “Five Hamlets.” I have no idea what it will be like–Hamlet in five voices–but it sounds like fun. Plus, we’re going to have dinner at Zingerman’s!!
4:38 pm on August 5th, 2011
Homework!….Good luck with that Stover….snort!….Remember when I was trying to get them to turn in their “Mission Notes” to me? ….sniff!…Remember all the excuses? And all they had to do was SAY, “Here are my mission notes.”….grunt! …They didn’t even have to write anything for Pete’s Sake!
4:42 pm on August 5th, 2011
I remember Rio. There may be a lot of “Fs” during the fall semester…..
4:57 pm on August 5th, 2011
B Stover…..Gulp!
Rio, I can do some more pot holders and maybe a pillowcase or two. I might even get that wool pillow done! But I am not promising that yet. I still have a learning curve there.
4:58 pm on August 5th, 2011
One question here. Shorting pasta? Is that like cooking it al dente, or what? Just wondering here in Chevy Chase. Wookie
5:04 pm on August 5th, 2011
Al Dente!….snort!Heh!Heh!snort!….Good one Agent Wookie. Now get back to work….grunt!
Staff!…. Please submit another Wall Quilt. To heck with the damned pot-holders….wheeze!
5:05 pm on August 5th, 2011
How many on this blog suspect that Rio is doing this to get a second chance at a picture of her favorite actor????
5:07 pm on August 5th, 2011
Or, perhaps another chance at a 3 dog wall hanging?
the clues are piling up….
5:12 pm on August 5th, 2011
Altruistic!….My motives are guilt free….snort! …It’s all for Snowhook. Cross my Pug Heart and Hope to Die…sniff!… But if I do end up with a signed autograph of Clarkson and a Doggie Wall Hanging by Staff, all the better….chorkel! snort!
5:19 pm on August 5th, 2011
ADMIN!….Gasp! …. I just thought of something…snort!… A signed copy of the first edition of the Robbie Forester novel would really be a big hit at the Christmas Auction!!…wooooo!…What say you Admin? Are you in like Spencer was last time to raise money for The Big Race??? …whistle!
5:20 pm on August 5th, 2011
Blog! B, I’ve been meaning to ask you – what happened to your blog link? It hasn’t shown up lately. Or, is it just my computer? (I still get Melanie’s link though)
Staff: I loved the 3 dog wall hanging!
5:50 pm on August 5th, 2011
Quilt!…Who won that wall hanging quilt anyways?….snort! …I know it went for a lot of money, that’s for sure….sniff!
6:26 pm on August 5th, 2011
Love your comment B! Can’t wait to hear about “Five Hamlets”.
Well, after a wonderful time right after the bed was put in the other room, Patsy keeps going into where it was, sitting down and looking at me.
HA! I’m not moving it again!
B. Stover: Zoë and I are going to audit your classes. Which books are first? That way we can get a head start. I just told Zoë about it and she’s all excited!
7:03 pm on August 5th, 2011
I won the wall quilt! It is a homework eating quilt.
Aaaargh!
I checked the mail again and nothing. Closed now for the weekend.
I’m off to Treaty Days. No frying pans will be involved this time.
7:07 pm on August 5th, 2011
B! You will soon have quite a few of us in your virtual class. I have Frankenstein listed first. Is that correct?
7:07 pm on August 5th, 2011
Oh come on Dawson, you need to throw something! How about firewood? Or fish? Or that bear you saw the other day?
YSAS rode his yard sale special bike today over to the Parking Lot. Instead of taking 45 minutes of walking, it was less than 10 minutes. He couldn’t believe it.
Got to find something to watch. Netflix streaming here I come.
7:24 pm on August 5th, 2011
Dawson: Are TMG now wearing Canadian Postal uniforms?
7:55 pm on August 5th, 2011
HEY DAWSON, C.HARRIS, BELLA AND POINTS NORTH!
Northern Lights coming your way! Wish I could see them . . .
8:12 pm on August 5th, 2011
Well, time for me to go to bed. Still reading Maisie Dobb series.
Up to 1930 now.
I just entered Pottermore’s early registration. Cool.
8:35 pm on August 5th, 2011
Dawson-
Buuuu – erp!
That needlework kit was rough!
But delicious!
Signed,
The Marauding Goats
8:36 pm on August 5th, 2011
Maskers!… Look! It’s the Royal Canadian Marauding Goats in their official uniforms….heh!chorkel!
8:37 pm on August 5th, 2011
OMG!…They got the Needlework down their greedy gullets!…whewWee! snort!
8:43 pm on August 5th, 2011
Melanie, what is your sky link? Do you use spaceweather.com?
8:50 pm on August 5th, 2011
Staff!…When did you mail your sister that Wall Quilt?…snort!…Good golly. If they eat that I will really be upset…sniff!…Maybe they will choke on the buttons that are the Eyes…heh!
8:52 pm on August 5th, 2011
Hello Rio, my little spugnik
8:52 pm on August 5th, 2011
Great!…The Rockies game just started and they are already 2 runs behind…grump!
8:54 pm on August 5th, 2011
Hello!…Natasha, you Russian spy you…snort!….What mischievous things have you been up to lately my dear?…snorkel!
8:55 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio, I think it was a week ago last Monday. That would make it the 25th of July. But it does take things a while to go through customs I think.
8:58 pm on August 5th, 2011
Customs!…Right, especially when the customs officers have been knocked out, drug into the janitors closet and gagged….snort!… Only to be replaced by Official Marauding Goats….grunt!
9:00 pm on August 5th, 2011
Ve understand through spy channels bad goats did not get von very special package.
But ve are vorried….Did you REALLY think Natasha vas MALE?
Vith THIS beauty, sense of style and vonderful hat???
9:12 pm on August 5th, 2011
Nattie!…Are you talking to me?….heh! …It made sense at the time seeing as a certain misleading document had been inserted in with the original secret documents envelope….sniff!…Now how in the world did that happen, hmmmmm?…grunt!… I’ve come to a conclusion about the whole affair and am certain I have the answer…snorkel!…No, you are not
Mailuh Male, that I am certain of now…heh!9:14 pm on August 5th, 2011
OH NO!… Our Pitcher was just hit in the face with the ball hit right off the bat!!!…groan! sob!sob!sob!…Oh no….he is out flat or cold as the case may be….sob!
9:14 pm on August 5th, 2011
I’m sure Dawson will get all her fabulous winnings eventually. But what I worry about is the ARC. What fun is it to have an Advanced Reader Copy of a book if it isn’t advanced???
9:17 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio:YEEP!yeep!YEEP!!!SDD!!!
9:22 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio – heh heh – and ve are just as certain you have NO idea!
9:24 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio, This has been a difficult baseball season. I hope our pitcher is going to be okay. At least he wasn’t out for very long.
9:28 pm on August 5th, 2011
Heh… I wonder if all those Yeeps are Rebecca saying no way is she having another auction so soon….
9:35 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rebecca!…Heh!snort!Heh!…Let the festivities begin!
Walk!…Well, she is putting my halter on me and we are going to go for a long uphill walk I’m told…grumble! ….I may not survive this one….sniff!sob!sob!
9:39 pm on August 5th, 2011
Rio: It’s been nice knowing you!!!
10:23 pm on August 5th, 2011
Test…
10:26 pm on August 5th, 2011
For some reason the website space was empty so my name on the blog was no longer blue.
Five Hamlets was not very good but Zingerman’s was! I’ll describe it tomorrow.
Good night all.
10:37 pm on August 5th, 2011
Hi everyone. Checking in before we head off to bed. Once Mama gopt home, she has been flying around the house getting ready to leave her father here in charge. Yikes!
Early morning at Crazy Lady land – how we wish Mama would win the lottery and not have to go work for her anymore.
Then she could just do clay and give us tummies all day long. Sounds like a plan to us!
10:53 pm on August 5th, 2011
Wheeze!….We made it home…snort!cough! …Actually, we’ve been home for about 15 minutes, but I’ve been fighting with the computer…grump!…Got it working again, for a while…sniff! ….Rockies finally scored!…Wooooo!
12:24 am on August 6th, 2011
Pitcher!…Our pitcher is in the hospital with injuries, but we don’t know exactly how bad…sniffle!… Those line drives right up the middle are always so scary. This was the worst though. It hit that poor guy at over 100 miles an hour very solid in the head. He didn’t have time to get his glove up….snuffle!
Yawn!…It seems everybody has gone to bed already…sniff!… Well, we can’t go upstairs because it smells like cow-poop outside and the windows are open – so far the smell hasn’t reached us down here in the basement….snort!…How long can we last…..?
6:47 am on August 6th, 2011
Wonder if cows in the pasture think “oh no-human smell! We know they are organic, but that SMELL!”.
Then again, maybe they just think that about Pugs….
giggle