Donut Heaven: From To Fetch A Thief
Donut Heaven is across the street from Burger Heaven. We met Rick Torres outside, parking beside his cruiser cop-style, driver’s side door to driver’s side door. He handed a bag through the window.
“Bear claws,” Rick said. “Half price after four.”
Bears I’ve seen plenty of on Animal Planet, never in real life – fine with me – and I’d watched what their claws could do, oh, brother, but how these delicious bear claws fit in was a mystery. We got busy with our bear claws, Rick and Bernie sipping coffee at the same time.
“Got anything?” Bernie said.
“Nope,” Rick said. “An elephant disappears and no one saw zilch.”
“Plus the trainer.”
“Yeah, plus the trainer. We checked his bank account. Balance of a few thousand dollars, no recent withdrawals amounting to anything.”
“But he could have stashed something somewhere,” Bernie said.
“Thanks,” Rick said. “That’s a big help.”
“There’s also this,” Bernie said, handing over the ankus, now wrapped in plastic.
Rick turned it in his hand. “Which is?”
“An ankus,” Bernie said.
“Looks nasty.”
“It’s an ancient device from Asia, apparently. For training and managing elephants.”
“They poke them with it?”
“More like goading them,” Bernie said.
“Christ.”
“Yeah. Chet found it in a ditch, not far from that back gate at the fairgrounds.”
I thumped my tail, or at least thought about it. This was the best bear claw I’d ever had, no question.
“Someone dropped it?” Rick said.
“Or it fell off the back of a trailer,” Bernie said. “Hard to imagine Peanut on foot and not even one lousy citizen calling in.”
“I can imagine that easy,” Rick said. He touched where the point of the ankus hook pushed at the plastic. “I thought DeLeath was supposed to be humane.” Rick sipped his coffee for a bit. “I’m gonna have this dusted for prints,” he said.
“See?” Bernie said, talking to who I didn’t know. “That’s the kind of thing that can’t be taught.”
Rick winged his coffee cup lid at Bernie. Bernie laughed. Humans can be impossible to understand but I don’t let it bother me.
Tags: To Fetch A Thief
This entry was posted on Thursday, September 30th, 2010 at 8:57 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
4:18 am on September 30th, 2010
Hey Chet! Could you please ask Spence and Admin when we'll know about the contest for the title of your fourth adventure?
Hope last night's talk and signing went well.
4:22 am on September 30th, 2010
The Librarian remembers an ankus from some ancient Nancy Drew Mystery…ahhh it's coming back to her: The Clue of the Ivory Charm. Or Secret of or Mystery of or something like that.
Hope everyone has a lovely donut-filled type of day. Or should that be a filled-donut type of day? Food for thought.
5:00 am on September 30th, 2010
Macy, you Princess Wannabee, I hate to say this, but your poem about Melanie's lawn was brilliant. (dammit)
5:33 am on September 30th, 2010
Fatty Kitty,
I think I'll eat some food.
How come I don't remember this Nancy Drew? Oh yeah, I was always reading the Black Stallion books instead.
Mr Staff doesn't like filled doughnuts. He always makes a mess. He likes those tiny little cream puffs though.
Alice
5:33 am on September 30th, 2010
Why Sammie, darling, you doubted? I will however concede that you are the #1 princess. But a wannabe, I don't THINK so.
FK, your librarian has quite a memory!
Chet, we are on the same page, I started the day with an apple fritter, almost a bear claw.
Mom is very excited now about meeting Mr. SQ on Sunday. She is at the Big Orange Box right now, she is still loving on her iphone which leaves the laptop for me. Dad printed out the badges yesterday and I must say the picture is STUNNING! Thanks to all who had a hand in getting my pic on the quilt and then onto the badge. We are twirling, twirling!
5:36 am on September 30th, 2010
Macy's mom here: I was showing someone the blog here and was on a page with some pictures. Don't know what I did but the pictures enlarged to such a size that the animals in question wouldn't even fit all on the screen. First I got Alice Johnson's right eye, but the scariest thing was that next I got a fullscreen view of Rio's teeth. In Macy's words, *shiver*. Not that there is anything wrong with your teeth Mr. Pug sir, but anybody's teeth filling up a 19 in screen is a sight!
6:14 am on September 30th, 2010
Lois would be in hog heaven. She loves teeth.
6:28 am on September 30th, 2010
Good one Wolfie. And Macy's mom–first a screen filled with Alice's eye and then with Rio's teeth–LOL.
Rio: I had to look up Gary Cole. Are your sure he was in The Good Wife and, if so, what character did he play? I've seen all of the first season and also the first episode of the second season–which was good. I enjoy the court drama more than her personal drama.
6:40 am on September 30th, 2010
Good morning, all. Barb had a late evening but we have caught up on the posts from last night. Love the lawn poem, Macy.
We are up to page 85 in TFAT. Bee, You are right about the iron comment, but there are so many good ones that it is hard to pick and choose. I think this is the best C & B so far. The comment by Chet about being surprised that the two-legged don't fall over more often was very funny, too. We are trying to go slow!
6:46 am on September 30th, 2010
Teeth! Jasper's mom here. Heading off to the dentist to put a crown on the root canal 2K fiasco. I requested extra bling for Sammie. BBL.
7:27 am on September 30th, 2010
Stover!….Gary Cole is definitely in The Good Wife….snort!… He is the weapons expert that the boss lady is attracted too…sniff!… The only way you can miss Gary Cole is if you have not seen those episodes yet. …grunt!
7:36 am on September 30th, 2010
Jasper's Mom, good luck with the tooth. I had to have 3 teeth pulled, they tell me, but I was napping so who knows. Mom said that 3 of my baby fangs didn't fall out and my big dog fangs grew in right next to them,
7:46 am on September 30th, 2010
Sammie!…My teeth grew in wherever they wanted to…snort!…They don’t come together when I try to chew so usually I just gobble everything down…grunt!
8:04 am on September 30th, 2010
Rio, you should have doggie braces on your teeth.
8:12 am on September 30th, 2010
Okay, I know who Gary Coles is then. He's good. And I love the laugh of the boss lady.
I don't like Leda.
8:17 am on September 30th, 2010
Jasper' mom…Good Luck with the tooth. The cost of that kind of work is a crime.
They really do have doggie braces for us doggies. Mom knew a little dog, like Sam, that wore braces for awhile. Some people made fun of the owner and the dog because they thought it was for cosmetic reasons. The braces weren't for cosmetic reasons…the vet was trying to prevent the little doggy from having more serious tooth problems in a few years.
We are having company for awhile today. BBL
8:19 am on September 30th, 2010
Mom thought Gary Cole was good when he played General George Armstrong Custer in that tv movie, Son of the Morning Star.
9:01 am on September 30th, 2010
MacyMP, mom is super excited about Sunday's meeting with SQ too. But she's nervous that she will just freeze up and not have anything intelligent to say! We just want her to get the book signed to us….how hard will that be to ask for? And she will have a badge on too so hopefully she and your folks will find each other!
9:10 am on September 30th, 2010
Golly!….Two Plunderers get to meet Spencer this weekend….grunt!…Whodda thought that would ever happen?… snort!…You guys better have some good questions to ask prepared ahead of time in case you freeze like popsicles…heh!heh!
9:40 am on September 30th, 2010
G & BB, Tell your mom just to relax and enjoy the moment. It is exciting that you get to meet each other in the real world. We are so spread out over the U.S. and Canada, that that event doesn't seem likely to happen. If your mom is nervous, make a few notes in advance. You will be fine!
And please, someone mention Barb and Maggie, as he is signing our book that day, too. When the gentleman at the book store asked what we wanted written, we said to just let him use his discretion, but if he wants to mention rats or tin futures (gasp!) that would be a hoot. Thanks. B & M
10:08 am on September 30th, 2010
Boy do I hurt!
Back from the doc's where she manipulated my knee and decided to take pictures of it. I have floating bodies in my knee. Well, that was a surprise. One has gotten stuck in the joint. NO WONDER I HURT!
Now I have to go to another doc who will probably take more pictures, and then figure out what to do.
Who would of figured a body could get that small??? snicker.
I did ask if there was any chance of the floating bodies being Alien chips. (I've got to stop watching X-Files) She just looked at me, though I did see a small smile.
Now have an ice pack on my knee and wishing I had a glass of Cahors (or what ever that is) or a martini, something besides orange juice!
10:10 am on September 30th, 2010
Also Zoë finished T-FAT and LOVED IT. Best ever!
Lots more to say, but I'm going to let the aspirin take effect . . .
10:32 am on September 30th, 2010
Melanie – Last year Mom had stuff done to her knee. The docs do a nice cleanup job and Mom wished that she hadn't waited as long as she did to get it fixed.
10:57 am on September 30th, 2010
Melanie, I'd send some Cahors to you if I could.
I'm on chapter twenty.
11:07 am on September 30th, 2010
Mom has been doing her reading on the exercise bicycle. She just made herself stop now on chapter 10.
11:18 am on September 30th, 2010
Gus and Boo Bear, are you guys both Kats? I mean, it's ok, just can't quite tell from the pic. It shows a certain amount of sophistication that Kats enjoy Chet, too.
Mom will be looking for your mom. My mom will be wearing an orange and brown top. She went shopping today special for Sunday, how silly is that? Are she and G & BB mom the first bloggers that are not related to meet? Oops there she goes again, twirling, twirling!
Melanie for that kind of pain that old doc should have a least given you something stronger than aspirin. Her knees are a mess too, and that *(&^&^%%( doctor said they might not hurt as much if she lost weight! Can you imagine? How rude. I think mom is just right, but everyone around here is kind of fluffy so I don't have much to compare to.
11:19 am on September 30th, 2010
Reading!….I’m going to go read too!…snort!…Or maybe just sleep!…yawn!
11:43 am on September 30th, 2010
Really Macy I don't understand your question to Gus and BooBear at all. Are you implying that Kats don't understand Chet?
Harumphhhh!
And of course Kats are sophisticated. (Something dogs can only achieve when they wear bow ties.) Kats do it all the time!
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1285879386-small alice.jpg[/img]
11:49 am on September 30th, 2010
Oh no! A picture of Alice with THE EYES. I must not look. Not look …….
12:04 pm on September 30th, 2010
OMG! It's here. 🙂
12:05 pm on September 30th, 2010
Alice!… Is someone getting on your nerves my dear?…snort!
12:11 pm on September 30th, 2010
Goodie!…BluKat finally got the Book!…wooooo! …Is it autographed BluKat?…snort!
12:17 pm on September 30th, 2010
I'm so glad Bluecat. And a picture of Alice who is so beautiful. Macy is making me laugh. I hope all going on Sunday have an excellent time.
Rio: What are you reading?
12:20 pm on September 30th, 2010
Stover!…The Blog of course….snort!
12:27 pm on September 30th, 2010
Alice, You do have hypnotic eyes. I can't stop staring at you!
12:28 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio, What about Rodger?. Did you figure out yet if he was crazy or just too smart for his own good?
12:43 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rodger!… Right now Whitey is making up his own game plan for the “heist”…heh!…I can’t wait to see how this is going to turn out!…snort!
12:57 pm on September 30th, 2010
Mollypop, I broke away from her spell and will be more careful from now on!
1:07 pm on September 30th, 2010
Whew!!
1:27 pm on September 30th, 2010
At least it is not one giant eye! That was really dangerous.
Alice J, are you trying to tell me that putting a bow tie on Rio makes him sophisticated?
1:33 pm on September 30th, 2010
Postcard from mom's va-ca.
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1285885967-vacation (Rick) 106.JPG[/img]
1:34 pm on September 30th, 2010
Siber H, name that road.
2:11 pm on September 30th, 2010
hee hee, Macy, I don't know what road it is but it looks like a fun road. Mom and I love dirt roads . It is northern NM. Do you remember what that marker is in the foreground? That picture makes me wish I was there instead of here.
2:12 pm on September 30th, 2010
Macy, I think Alice was referring to Wookie in a bow tie, not Rio.
2:27 pm on September 30th, 2010
That is a very fetching photograph, Alice. Now, if a couple of dogs on this blog will just remember that they are proud members of the nation within a nation. (Molly and Maggie) girls, sigh
Gus&BooBear, Your mom is going to be just fine on Sunday and she will have a good time. That is so neat, that two plunderes will be at the same book signing. We are looking forward to your reports, which I am sure Rio will let you tell in your own way and your own time.
2:31 pm on September 30th, 2010
Mr. Husky,
Are you talking about our Rio?
2:37 pm on September 30th, 2010
Melanie: Mom says her elbow has no floating bodies — not even aliens — but she wishes her elbow would just float away. Less painful that way! Right now she's just waiting for 23 more minutes — but who's counting? — until she can take another pain pill. Hope your knees feels better soon!!!
2:51 pm on September 30th, 2010
Alice, I was trying to say that one and only one of us on this blog looks sophisisticated in a bow tie…that would be Wookie.
2:55 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio looks adorable in his Rockies cap. Sorry Rio, adorable is mom's word.
3:19 pm on September 30th, 2010
Hells Bells!… I say “HI” to my friend when she finally comes home, eat supper and take a stroll and you guys are out there talking trash about me the whole time I am gone….grunt!…Apparently I am not the “Looker” that Wookie is in his bow tie, but a little respect is all I ask….choke!… Even my friend SiberH is barking crap about me while I am away… grump! …Adorable my Ass!…growl!
Hmmmphf!…I’ve been way too nice way too long… grunt!
3:23 pm on September 30th, 2010
Stover!… We just remembered a scene from Rubicon that we also thought was funny!…snort!…It was when Miles was laying flat out on the conference room table with all the files surrounding him…heh!…We here love the character of Miles! …sniff!…Is it just me or is the guy with the tie (cannot remember his name!) becoming enamored with the dark haired analyst who is condemned to filing right now??… crap!.. I can’t remember her name either.
3:24 pm on September 30th, 2010
Oh, Oh. Rio is coniping. We might be in for a LONG night!
3:26 pm on September 30th, 2010
Wookie is an agent, Rio. You are the commander. I think of you more in camo than a bow tie.
3:37 pm on September 30th, 2010
SiberH!…Think all you want pal!….snort!….Do you remember what “SOL” means? …snuff!
3:52 pm on September 30th, 2010
We had better ask Stover that question, Rio.
3:55 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio: Miles is very good. Tanya is the one you are thinking of. I'm wondering what's up with her–she's so nervy which I guess is one of the reasons she drinks and takes drugs. But why was she nervy to begin with? I don't know about the tie guy. His wife is certainly not a happy person. Remember, she was on one time. The new season of Lie to Me starts Monday.
3:58 pm on September 30th, 2010
SH didn't mean anything negative about you Rio. And I remember SOL.
3:59 pm on September 30th, 2010
Kirby!… We know pain here, boy do we!…snort!…Her toe is still bothering her and she is just about Up To Here with it…damn!…My toenails feel weird from yesterdays fiasco – although I can type better…hey! …Life is so hard sometimes…sigh!
4:01 pm on September 30th, 2010
Siber-H:Camo with a hat. Definitely a hat.
Macy: Tell your mom I read her post of the giant eyes and teeth to Zoë. It was too bad about the wine she was tasting, though the Pack enjoyed licking it up.
MollyPop: Not sure what they are going to do about the knee. I think they should shoot the floating bodies with ultra sonic waves and see if they fall apart. But somehow I don't think they're going to do that. Tell your mom thanks.
I do have other pills of which I'm going to take one now. I know I missed commenting on some comments, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.
Oh, We all loved the lawn poem. Right now instead of lawn we have great pools of water.
4:30 pm on September 30th, 2010
Knees!….Good (drug induced) Night Melanie!….snuffle!…Hope you feel better in the morning…gruff! …Did I miss the Lawn Poem, I don’t even remember it at all…grunt!…Or if I did read it it didn’t have any effect on me for some reason…snort!
5:47 pm on September 30th, 2010
MagPie! Be careful! Don’t look at Alice’s eyes. She mesmerizes until you do her bidding.
4:49 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rockies….Good grief! These guys are getting beat up too tonight…snort!…What the Hell! Score is 5 –1 Sainte Louie – Louie…sniff!… Reminds us of an old Judy Garland movie…heh! …This is for the Birds, but we will continue to watch till the very end or almost…sigh!
Friday!…My friend says she is not going to be that busy tomorrow and so maybe other things can get done….sniff!…Whatever that means to me, I have no idea….grunt!
4:52 pm on September 30th, 2010
I'm watching the game. I figure if I watch all of them till the end of the season, the Rockies will win one.
5:00 pm on September 30th, 2010
Disapointing!…After so many amazing comebacks and awesome plays over the season, these last games are really heart-breaking….sniff!…We want to see them go out on a win or two at least…grunt!…Thanks for being here with me SiberH!…You trash talker you!
5:07 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio, Melanie fought the lawn and the lawn won. Remember?
Good night, friends. Feel better, Melanie and Kirby's mom.
5:08 pm on September 30th, 2010
MagPie…No!
5:11 pm on September 30th, 2010
Wow. Reading it. Do Chet and Bernie seem more familiar because it's the third book, or because we know them better through the blog?
Pondering…wonderful book…don't want it to end…
5:15 pm on September 30th, 2010
Lawn!…Wasn’t it Wolfie who had the lawn problems what with the 12 pot bellied pigs rooting around and digging it all up???…snort!….Is Melanie’s lawn a problem too?…grunt!…Or is it because of the flooding that’s happening on the East Coast?…wheeze!…We here are drying up to smithereens. I bet there will be more fires very soon…dammit!
5:17 pm on September 30th, 2010
I felt the same way about reading that book, Bluecat. It is like reading a book with your close friends in it.
5:17 pm on September 30th, 2010
BluKat!….Enjoy every word! You are in for treat after treat!…sigh!…It’s the Best Ever – so far!…heh!
5:18 pm on September 30th, 2010
SiberH!…We posted at the same time!…grunt!
5:42 pm on September 30th, 2010
Melanie, we are sorry that you are hurting, and Kirby's mom, and Rio's friend. I hope everyone feels better tomorrow. Rio, is your friend using ice on the toe?
Good Night Friends!
5:54 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio, Tell your friend to keep her foot elevated when possible. It takes 6-8 weeks to heal if she did serious damage to her toe.
Now, about Melanie's lawn. Yesterday she posted that part of it was dry and baked hard. She went out with a pitch fork and tried to make holes in it, about 1 1/2" deep . She was hoping that the next rain would soak in more. Did you read that or did you just read every other word, as someone accuses Melanie of doing? Then Macy did a poem about it. End of story, and good night again!
6:10 pm on September 30th, 2010
MagPie!,,, Somehow I definitely missed all that pitch fork stuff going on in Melanie’s yard!…golly!…I guess I was more intrigued by the Pot Bellied Pig story going on in Wolfie’s yard…heh!…Sometimes I get caught up in waiting for my friend to arrive home late after the busy season place ! ….snort…Things get a bit crazy then and I am left to fend for myself and I don’t do so well that late in the day….wheeze!…But once she gets home I do feel better…heh!
6:17 pm on September 30th, 2010
Wow…Wot a disturbing day…snort!…Good Night all and Please do not let the Bed Bugs Bite….sniff!…Rockie and his Hillbilly friends are quite available again…sigh! …Their extended break extended longer than I what I was first informed of….grump!…All back logged jobs will be taken care of As Soon As Possible!….grumble!
6:20 pm on September 30th, 2010
SiberH..The road is the highway to Los Alamos. The marker is to a president I think. I thought you did live in that area.
Melanie and Zoe..glad you enjoyed the story and poem.
6:22 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio, We understand about being left alone, and definitely cut you some slack on missing that story. Good Pug dreams to you. Now we are definitely going to bed.
6:27 pm on September 30th, 2010
MagPie!…Goodnight!…Love you guys!..and trash-mouth SiberH too…heh!heh!
6:48 pm on September 30th, 2010
Maggie is busily chasing the rats,
Others here are sporting fine hats.
Some are drinking Cahors by the vats,
While others are simply being "The Kats"..
6:51 pm on September 30th, 2010
Okay good night. The Librarian has had two extremely busy weeks when she is gone alllll day until late at night. Tonight was the last of those nights because the fundraiser is over. We just wanted to say that Alice looks like she was getting unwrapped. Her eyes make us laugh. And now I shall write a good night poem with apologies to Margaret Wise Brown:
Goodnight Husky,
Goodnight Pug,
Goodnight baseball-toy-filled rug.
Goodnight Newfs,
Goodnight Kats,
Goodnight all you chicken-coop Rats.
Goodnight AJ on wrapping paper
Goodnight to Chet in a brand new caper.
6:52 pm on September 30th, 2010
Ha! Macy and I were being poetical at the same time!
6:54 pm on September 30th, 2010
One last thought: could the above be defined as Doggerel?
7:01 pm on September 30th, 2010
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1285905701-gimme 4.jpg[/img]
Gimme four!
7:03 pm on September 30th, 2010
FK, you crack us up. Our next group venture will be a book of our "poetry"!
7:44 pm on September 30th, 2010
Rio,
The twins lost tonight something like 12 to 2. Or 13 to 1. (I stopped watching.) The Blue Jays hit 6 home runs and one was a grand slam.
We are ready for the playoffs I think.
7:54 am on October 2nd, 2010
Hey Chet,
Isn't it funny how our human counter parts can use the same darn words to mean like well everthing? I mean "bear" claws those are good to eat but don't be bringing me any "bears" with fur and big claws. And what about being "bear" naked okay it is spelled bare but said the same way. Last I checked bears wore fur and weren't naked. There is my all time favorite "bear that in mind". What in the world is a bear doing in the mind? I once heard my human's significant other declare "bear left"while riding in the car. I looked left there was NO bear there at all. Not sure what he was talking about. When my human is unusually animated she will say "bear with me" Cash…. I do a double take no bears with her any where. Humans need to learn from us dogs. The simpler the better. We have the happy bark, the mean bark, and the hey I am over here bark. We have the leave me alone growl and the snarl which is like a growl but only meaner. Then there is the yip and that usually means we were startled or hurt. See simple. Humans what can we do Chet they are just too complicated?
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1286038431-cash.jpg[/img]