Deena (From Thereby Hangs A Tail)

We sat in the patio bar at the Dry Gulch Steakhouse and Saloon, Bernie on the end stool, me on the floor. The big summer heat – not just heat but pressure, like a heavy blanket is always weighing down on you – was over, but it was still plenty hot and the cool tiles felt good. Bernie pointed across the street with his chin. “What’s that?”

“What’s what?” said the bartender.

“That hole in the ground.”

“Condos,” the bartender said. “Ten stories? Fifteen maybe?”

Bernie has dark, prominent eyebrows with a language all their own. Sometimes, like now, they grew jagged and his whole face, normally such a nice sight, darkened. “And when the aquifer runs dry, what then?” he said.

“Aquifer?” said the bartender.

“Any idea of the current population of the Valley?” Bernie said.

“The whole valley?” said the bartender. “Gotta be up there.” Bernie gave him a long look, then ordered a double.

A waitress in a cowboy hat came by. “Is that Chet? Haven’t seen you in a while.” She knelt down, gave me a pat. “Still like steak tips?” Why would that ever change? “Hey, easy, boy.”

Bernie had a burger and another bourbon; steak tips and water for me. His face returned to normal. Whew. Bernie worried about the aquifer a lot and sometimes when he got going couldn’t stop. All our water came from the aquifer – I’d heard him say that over and over, although I’d never laid eyes on this aquifer, whatever it was. I didn’t get it at all: there was plenty of water in the Valley – how else to explain all that spraying on the golf courses, morning and evening, and those beautiful little rainbows the sprinklers made? We had water out the yingyang. I got up and pressed my head against Bernie’s leg. He did some light scratching in that space between my eyes, impossible for me to get to. Ah, bliss. I spotted a French fry under the stool next to Bernie’s and snapped it up.

Digital wackiness notice from Admin: site changes happening.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 9:39 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

34 Responses to “Deena (From Thereby Hangs A Tail)”

  1. Rio - The Evil Pug
    6:00 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Testing!… testing…does this blog still work?….snort!…heh.

  2. Rio - The Evil Pug
    6:30 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Puss N’ Boots!… 24!…I knew there had to be more to that blond, Dana? (not Deena)…snort!… than just her frantically trying to cover-up her shady past….wheeze!… plus after 8 years…grunt!… we can always expect a traitor within CTU…snort!… Chloe is my hero.

  3. diane
    7:25 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Digital wackiness?

    Can there be any other kind?


  4. Lexi
    7:26 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Hey, Admin. Can I ask you a question? Well, that was a question, but, what is that VIDEO tab up there?

  5. Jasmine
    7:53 am on March 23rd, 2010

    LOVED the German book trailer!

  6. Melanie
    8:14 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Finally got to the computer. Jeez. Soooo, we're still on steak tips. Chet sometimes has a one track mind.

    I did push the video tab. It says "coming soon."

    WHAT IS coming soon?

  7. Gus and BooBear
    8:15 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Rio…we were just commenting last night that Dana's storyline was getting old and wham, there was that twist! You know Admin could use Chloe's special talents to fix the digital wackiness or help u and agent Wookie hack admin's special website to get TFAT 's release date!

  8. Siberian Husky
    9:19 am on March 23rd, 2010

    I'm like Chet, I have never laid eyes on the acquifer, but mom talks about it just like Bernie does. Chet and I both live over an ever shrinking underground water supply. Years ago, the water engineers thought that the acquifers had an unlimited supply of water. They were wrong. We could save water by closing all pet grooming shops, but Chet likes to go to the groomer. We could let Janie's stay open.

  9. Rio - The Evil Pug
    9:29 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Bernie!…. I’d like to know why Bernie’s family had to sell off their 4 acre ranch… snort!… He probably told Colonel Bob the whole story… grunt!… but Chet missed it…. Snag! … I’d also like to hear the story about how he saved Colonel Bob’s life and hurt his leg….wheeze! …. There’s so much about Bernie we don’t know… yet!

  10. Rio - The Evil Pug
    9:35 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Chet!… Have your IT person put in a “Pub Date” tab!… snort!…. That would save us all a lot of effort!… heh.

  11. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:08 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Chet!….Could you have IT put in an “Alice Johnson” tab too?…. wheeze!… Then we could lock her up in there and I could enjoy baseball season without her …. Heh!

  12. Siberian Husky
    10:13 am on March 23rd, 2010

    I'm in agreement with Rio. I'd like to learn more of Bernie's story, and I'd like to hear more about Bernie's ancestor that came west after the civil war. Southern Arizona was the land of the Apaches then. That diary must be full of good stories.

    I would also like to learn more about how Chet got kicked out of K9 school, but being a dog myself, I can pretty well fill in the blanks. The key word is CAT.

    Rio, I can take a guess about why Bernie's family had to sell the ranch–the ususal story all over the West–to make room for development. Some call it progress. I don't think Bernie does.

  13. Rio - The Evil Pug
    10:51 am on March 23rd, 2010

    I don’t think Bernie’s family would have sold the land because they wanted to see their ranch developed.… snort!…You know how Bernie is always falling for the ‘get rich quick’ scams?… grunt!… Well, maybe he takes after one of his many grandfathers …. wheeze!… Maybe someone in the ole family tree lost most of their land in a poker game or to a scallywag….grunt!… I’m just saying, I don’t think they gave up their land on purpose….snort!

  14. dawson
    10:58 am on March 23rd, 2010

    There was something in one of the books about losing the land. Chet thought it had to do with drunkeness on the part of one of the 'great grandfathers' but wasn't sure whether he was getting parts of two different stories mixed up.

  15. Melanie
    11:16 am on March 23rd, 2010

    About the aquifer . . . if we could just get some of our water over there. . .

    I took this picture of the river behind our house today after an inch of rain and a lot of snow melt.

    The Pack doesn't even want to go down to play and THAT is unusual.

    [img ][/img]

  16. Rio - The Evil Pug
    11:36 am on March 23rd, 2010

    Quick!…Call Alice Johnson and get your river sandbagged!… snort!… She is good at doing that you know…. Grunt!

  17. Siberian Husky
    11:48 am on March 23rd, 2010

    I don't think they gave up their land on purpose either Rio.

    Wow, That is a lot of water Melanie–rain on top of snow. I think the photo is scarey, but mom thinks it is interesting. When the trees leaf out, it is going to be sooo green. Green is a novelty where I live, so is a river with water in it. Do the Newfs get to swim in the river when the flow is normal?

  18. B. Stover
    11:52 am on March 23rd, 2010


    I actually think that the reason PA wrote the novel was to see if he could overcome its special narrative dilemma. A detective in a mystery thriller who loses his memory is, I think, very unusual and would be difficult to work around. Also, Rio, I don't think the message is that we are all a few steps from disaster for two reasons: P-N is still alive at the end and seems positive…even getting married, but also, when he's trapped in the mine and Amanda is saving him he thinks, "The time to stop fighting was when you could no longer fight. He could fight." Also at the reception we learn that there is a new love/understanding between Dimitri and N; Amanda is there and so is Wally; Billie wants to make plans and N is set to take dancing lessons; many of the characters who seemed dysfunctional are seen at the end in a happy community/ family situation. At first, I thought P-N dying at the end would be a more powerful and realistic ending, but the more I consider the end, the more satisfied I am that they are being given a second chance even if we don't know how long it will last.

    This has been fun.

  19. Melanie
    12:12 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Obviously we're going to have to get The Tutor and Oblivion . . . then come back and read the posts again.

    Yes, SHusky, the river calms down and the pack LOVES to swim, though the older ladies like to wade. Franklin likes to go down the small rapids (not so small right now) but no one else does.

    I need Chet! My debit card was compromised by some group in Germany. I bet he could sniff them out.

  20. dawson
    1:04 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    From THAT: "His grandfather once owned a big ranch where Mesquite Road and our whole neighborhood was now, but lost everything, possibly because of a drinking problem, although the drinking problem might have come from some other story Bernie had told me, a story about another relative. But not Bernie's father. Bernie never talked about his father, who'd been dead for a long time. Bernie's mother….a piece of work."

    Melanie: That is a nice little river you got there.

  21. B. Stover
    1:42 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Melanie: It's a beautiful picture, but probably a scary situation…especially if the Newfs don't want to go there.

  22. AbbietheKitty
    2:41 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Wow Melanie, Lotta water running there. I think the sandbags would get floated away.

    Yahhh Rio, Twins over Rockies!!!heh heh heh

    Abbie is the one who really likes baseball. That is because the staff will lay out the recliner and give her a nice lap area. Alice prefers the staff on the couch.

    [img ] bed.jpg.jpg[/img]

  23. Melanie
    3:02 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    What a wonderful picture of Alice. Must be tired after all that sandbagging.

    I don't think it was a 4 acre ranch, I believe it was a 4 square mile ranch.

    Tad bigger.

  24. Rio - The Evil Pug
    3:09 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Oh!… well four inches are big to me!… snort!… and we are getting another 10 – 12 inch snow storm!…. groan…. Snowing and blowing all night long….Sob!….why can’t I live in Hawaii???

  25. Rio - The Evil Pug
    3:14 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Zippy!…Thanks for looking that passage up from book 2….snort!… I was going to and then I remembered our book is STILL loaned out!…. grump!… I swear that lady and her Red Setter read as slow as molasses….wheeze!

  26. Siberian Husky
    4:02 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Good work Dawson!

    Rio, you and I need to change places, I think. The newfs are right where they should be, next to water, but you and I are geographicaly challenged. You are getting more snow! sigh, sniff, sob…no snow here

  27. Rio - The Evil Pug
    4:19 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Weird!… I’m still sitting here wondering why anyone would post a photo of their loved one on this blog…. Snort!… but Alice just doesn’t give a damn apparently… grunt!…if I put up a shot of my friends, they would skin me alive just like those poor squirrels in Trapper Country….grunt!

    Anyway!….no desert for me pal!… snort!… too hot!…too dry!… too much sand!…too many drug dealers… grunt!

  28. Barb & Maggie
    4:58 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Right-o,it was 4 square miles, not 4 acres. Boy, it was hard to dodge all the SPOILER ALERTS on Oblivion today. We just started it this afternoon. Mom said it sucks you in on the first page, so will probably be be a quick read…hard to put down, she says.

  29. Rio - The Evil Pug
    5:11 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Idol!.. on tonight!… snort!… We are not as involved as last year, the talent is good, very good…grunt!… I guess the whole Ellen thing has put us off….maybe!… She’s a brilliant comedian (gosh in her early, early routines she had me rollin’ on the floor, way before her show) .. wheeze!….but an expert music analyst…Not!… I miss that wacky Paula… snort!…At least Paula is a singer and knows the business!… damn!… I hope the show doesn’t tank after this year.

    Magpie!… Have a good journey!…snort!… My advice is to read every word slowly and deliberately….grunt!… or you will miss something very important….

  30. AbbietheKitty
    5:11 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Heh heh heh

    Alice doesn't tell him.

    Zippy better not either.

  31. Rio - The Evil Pug
    5:23 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Something’s Afoot… snicker!

  32. Rio - The Evil Pug
    6:25 pm on March 23rd, 2010

    Update!… I am still going thru all 15 reports… snort!… A final report will be issued as soon as possible… grunt!… This was a unique mission with many un-trained agents on the team…wheeze!

    Crao!…With all this snow coming down…. Damn!.. I may be out of touch tomorrow…Who knows!…grunt!…our lights were flickering earlier… gasp!… All I care about is my Food!… aiiiigh.

  33. Gus & BooBear
    2:09 am on March 24th, 2010

    We checked the blog early this a.m. to catch last night posts and how cool is the slide show of the friends of Chet! Although we did notice it said "post pics of your DOG" Hey, there are a few cats there too!! We bet Wookie is a little unsettled seeing his Audry flash by every so often!

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