Custody Battle

“Seems like Hugh Hefner, 85, and Crystal Harris, 25, aren’t getting married after all,” Spence says.

“Haven’t been following this,” Admin says.

“She took the Bentley and a nice chunk of ice,” Spence says. “But she also wants Charlie, their spaniel, and so does he.”

“Who are we hoping for?”

“Not sure,” says Spence. “What would the Playboy Philosophy say about this?”

Welcome Cooper and Nikki.


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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 27th, 2011 at 9:09 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

88 Responses to “Custody Battle”

  1. Barb & Maggie
    9:27 am on December 27th, 2011

    Hugh Hefner is a total joke. I am sure Crystal was his soul mate – ha ha ha ha! The dog, however, is cute and deserves a happy home.

    Good morning all!

  2. B.Stover
    9:30 am on December 27th, 2011

    My comments about Hugh Hefner are not printable.

    Good morning Barb and everyone.

  3. Tyb
    9:36 am on December 27th, 2011

    Charlie is not the kind of boy toy Heffner wants. Give him to anybody else who’ll take good care of him.

  4. B.Stover
    9:53 am on December 27th, 2011

    Rio’s friend burst into the room. “Rio, I just got a strange call from Melanie and the Royal’s mum. What on earth is going on here! You are grounded for the rest of your life! Grounded, I say. Grounded!”

    The pretty green bow drifted to the ground as Rio’s tail uncurled slowly. Just then-

    Wookie and Siber H came bounding in the room balancing a ladder between them and dragging a long rope. They didn’t see Rio’s friend but went up to the tree and looked at Rio and Dawson.

    “We’ve come to save you” barked Siber H as Wookie started up the ladder. Suddenly-

  5. BearSpiritDog
    10:25 am on December 27th, 2011

    Good Morning Everyone.
    We agree with B about Hef.

  6. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:09 am on December 27th, 2011

    Hurrumph!…. I know Chet posted a link to a story about one of us guys, but seriously I could give a crap about anything that has to do with Hefner and one of his money grubbing bimbos….grump! spit!

    Tree’d!…What I do want to know is how Dawson and I got out of the Christmas tree the other night…snort! … It’s all very foggy. Although, I do remember hearing SiberH Yarking very loudly and Dawson putting her hands over her ears and wincing….heh!

  7. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:31 am on December 27th, 2011

    Guitar!….Loved Staff’s video of Wookie listening to guitar music….heh!…He really gets into the rhythm of it doesn’t he?…snort!… That must have been one of Dawson’s beers sitting on the table though. Wookie is a wine connoisseur not a beer drinker…sniff!

  8. Basil and Sage
    11:34 am on December 27th, 2011

    Rio – any self respecting KAT could tell you how to get out of a tree – however, we happen to like the fact that your little curly tailed butt is stuck up there.

    Hope Dawson goes down Staff’s ladder and LEAVES YOU UP THERE!

  9. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:34 am on December 27th, 2011

    Mr.Tibbs!… Could you post your email address here for me??….sniff!

  10. Tupper and Gilly
    11:35 am on December 27th, 2011

    Rio – pay no attention to those Wrotten Kats!
    They are both high on catnip mousies!

  11. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:35 am on December 27th, 2011

    Gah!…I posted the same time as the two herbed Kats!…gasp!

  12. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:37 am on December 27th, 2011

    Diploma!…Tupper, did you and Gilly ever get your Counter Surfing Diploma?….sniff!…Mine never did come and it really ticks me off…gruffle!

  13. Macy the Min-pin
    11:43 am on December 27th, 2011

    Mornin’ y’all!

    We here are ready to get back to some sort of normal. Getting up at nine, breakfast at ten. Good grief the day is half over.

    The weather is supposed to get better today, so I may go out and supervise the leaf removal from the yard. Mom is usually only good for one bag at a time, so it may be summer before the yard is clean.

  14. Tupper and Gilly
    11:47 am on December 27th, 2011

    Rio – we are Royalty and therefore have no need for mere paper validation of our knowledge and skills.

    However, we would like to cite a recent accomplishment that should please Professor Trigger –
    Mama and Dad came home to find a torn and spotlessly cleaned out giant bag of Lays Potato Chips on the sofa. Ok – so thats not so amazing. What is amazing is that no one can figure out where they came from. There was a bag on the counter, but that was still there. There was a bag on the top shelf of the pantry, but THAT was still there. The folks are still scratching their heads about where it came from.
    They have a theory that our resident Angel, who plays lots of tricks on them, came and brought the bag of chips for us for Christmas.
    What they don’t know is that they left the car keys in plain site, so we just drove to the store to get what we wanted. (They always buy the ruffly kind of chips, and we like the flats like the ones we got)
    And since the Kats like the flats too, we gave them some so they wouldn’t rat us out.

  15. B.Stover
    11:52 am on December 27th, 2011

    Here’s a link to an interesting article about the origins of the Reformation, comparing it to the power of today’s social media.

  16. dawson
    12:03 pm on December 27th, 2011

    …the Rockies ornament was shaken from the tree and was falling, as if in slow motion while Siber H., Wookie, Dawson and Rio’s friend watched in horrified disbelief, mouths agape, eyes wide, ears hearing nothing except the roar of impending doom. Then, like a miracle the treasured ornament landed with a plump on Rio’s flat head and stayed there. Rio, who had been oblivious to the near disaster, being lower in the tree than Dawson, let out a pitiful, “ow”. Rio’s friend started laughing hysterically, SiberH yarked and Wookie took the ornament gently from Rio’s head and gave it to Rio’s friend.

  17. Basil and Sage
    12:08 pm on December 27th, 2011

    …it was only then that Siber’s ever alert ears heard a muffled giggle from up higher in the tree. His eyes searched carefully, and he motioned with his nose to Agent Wookie – there was something nefarious going on.
    Agent Wookie took out his Super Secret Spyglass and searched the branches one by one.
    There up in the top of the tree. There is a black Pug, wearing…oh NO! A YANKEES’ SHIRT!

  18. Masquers
    12:25 pm on December 27th, 2011


  19. Riö - The Evil Pug
    12:26 pm on December 27th, 2011


  20. Siber-H
    12:36 pm on December 27th, 2011

    That is a great story! I am cracking up here…love it!

    I have been accused of being a playdog, but I don’t know anything about the Playboy Philosophy I’m sure I don’t want to know.

    Staff, Great Golden video last night.

    T&G Don’t get into the chips that I bring your mum from time to time. I have to transport them a long way and Alice has to fly them in.

  21. Basil and Sage
    12:36 pm on December 27th, 2011

    ….Rio moaned and keeled over in a dead faint. Wookie waved his tail over him, while Siber yarked in his ear.
    Slowly, Rio opened his eyes.
    “Kats,” he murmured.”They are the only ones who can save us now. Someone please call those Brave, Courageous and Gorgeous Kats to save the day!”
    Wookie hastily tapped out an urgent SOS in his SDD.
    Almost immediately, Alice, BlueCat, Abbie, Masquers, Basil and Sage showed up. They swarmed up the tree, and although the wiley black Pug tried to avoid them, they were far too clever.
    They caught the Pug and threw him out of the tree.
    He landed with a bounce – and one of the seams of the Yankees shirt split open.
    A suspiciously long blond tuft of hair showed thru. Siber grabged theedge of the shirt and pulled.
    Out of the deceivingly good disguise, fell none other than NATASHA!
    “You haf caught me”, she said. “All the time I have been harassing Rio vith sitting on Friend’s lap, no von suspected Vorld’s Best Undercover Spy. It took those most intelligent Kats to unmask Natasha. Curses!”

  22. B.Stover
    1:01 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I love it!! Keep it going….

  23. Tyb
    1:04 pm on December 27th, 2011

    You can get me at

  24. Riö - The Evil Pug
    1:08 pm on December 27th, 2011


  25. Tyb
    1:11 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I don’t know what happened to the previous post. The address is

  26. Riö - The Evil Pug
    1:13 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Kats!…I think that last part was just made-up by the Herbs…grunt!…There’s no way I would ask for help from “Gorgeous” Kats…sniff!…The idea of Nattie fitting into a Pug suit is a little far-fetched too…wheeze!

  27. Riö - The Evil Pug
    1:19 pm on December 27th, 2011


  28. Tupper and Gilly
    1:28 pm on December 27th, 2011

    The idea of a harmonica playing, Rockies rooting, secret agent commander ISN’T far fetched????

    Next you’ll be telling us that Wolfie can’t really Blur and Belle Star doesn’t really have a sparkly pink knapsack!

  29. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    1:41 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Natasha preened smugly, and then daintily wiped off a few potato chip crumbs with a black lace hankie.

    Rio sputtered in disbelief, remembering all too clearly the countless times he had licked Beau with affection. “GAH!”, he gagged, and trotted out of the drawing room in search of some fresh air.

    There was a moment of stunned silence, and then with excruciating clearness the occupants of the room heard a whooshing sound, followed by a grunt. And another. And another. In perfect unison, everyone’s heads spun to the left, and then to right. Back and forth, left, right, left, stunned as the cats, armed with tiny tennis rackets and sweat bands, played a vigorous game using the prized Rockies ornament as a most unwilling tennis ball.

  30. Melanie
    1:59 pm on December 27th, 2011


    This is great! I have no idea where the morning went. I am now alone in the house (as one can be with The Newf Pack). My Guys and Gal went in to see Dan. My sister and Zoe are doing some errands and then going to the “care” meeting for Dan. The doc says it will now be 2 months. Dan is convinced she’s wrong and will be two weeks.


    Anyhoo . . . We have a magic wand the controls the computer now!. At least we will when the Guys figure it out. Also a picture frame that does videos.

    OTAS and F fixed videos up so they looked like the Harry Potter film’s pictures in “The Daily Prophet”! They are short, aged, no sound and are on a loop. While they’ve been gone I’ve done some more of the dogs and such so Dan will have a really cool frame to see short videos of us!

    Rio, Natasha and part of The Newf Pack dressed in Corgi suits for the wedding, so I think that fitting into a pug suit is not out of the question.

  31. Riö - The Evil Pug
    2:20 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rockies!…Snort!…No way! That part witht the Rockies ornament could never have happened…grunt!

  32. Siber-H
    2:28 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rio, It didn’t happen. I put a stop to it.

    The Borzoi didn’t call the kats intelligent either.

  33. Natasha the Nefarious Borzoi
    2:40 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Vhy vould Kats play tennis vith ball of Rockie?

    Poor little sqvirrel.

  34. Melanie
    2:44 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Nattie, you can never tell about Kats! Just ask OTAS.

    Youse guys remember that first attempt at a coiled vase that the Royal Mum did?

    heh, heh, heh, guess what I got for Christmas??

    Speaking of pottery, Barb’s grand did a BEAUTIFUL job!

  35. Riö - The Evil Pug
    2:47 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rockie!…Speaking of that darned squirrel…sniff!…He is probably still up in that tree…heh!

  36. Rose
    2:48 pm on December 27th, 2011

    But SiberH really could not put a stop to the kats direspectfully using Rio’s prized Rockies ornamnet as a tennis ball. No, SiberH was under the spell of that borzoi, seductively dancing the tango with her. Only a real Yankee fan could rescue the Rockies ornament from any further danger.

  37. Siber-H
    2:56 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Oh, Gah

  38. Riö - The Evil Pug
    2:58 pm on December 27th, 2011


  39. B.Stover
    3:03 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Yikes! Will the Rockies ornament be rescued or not?? Siber H got side-tracked and is tangled in a tango with the borzoi. The cats have a mean doubles game going on and the ornament is being slammed back and forth over the net. What will happen next?

  40. bluecat
    3:22 pm on December 27th, 2011

    The group, tired from the exertions of tree climbing, tennis and a tango, drank green tea and ate scones and debated the merits of social media, each with a copy of the Economist in one hand and a copy of the Borzoi’s latest TOP SECRET document in the other. They were searching for Chapter 22.

    Then the door creaked open…

  41. Wolfie Wigglebutt
    4:18 pm on December 27th, 2011

    All heads turned towards the newcomer, a handsome man wearing a brand new jacket, smartly decorated with drunken snowmen and hot pink flamingos.

    It was Admin.

    ” Would anyone mind telling me why my Christmas has been upended, Dawson is covered with tinsel and pine needles, and Rio is pacing around muttering something about Nattie kisses? And why were all the Kats playing tennis with – what is that anyway – a Rockies baseball ornament? And most importantly, why is everyone gathered here in my drawing room?

  42. B.Stover
    4:34 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Then Spence burst in the drawing room throwing the door open wide. He ignored the gathering. He didn’t even see B stealthily opening a bottle of champagne. “How can one open a bottle of champagne ‘stealthily’?” she asked herself when the cork gave a tremendous “POP” and flew out, bearly missing Admin’s head. Spence still ignored them and yelled, “I think I’ve found Astrid!!”

  43. Snowhook Bella
    5:09 pm on December 27th, 2011

    With Spence’s news, twirling —both figurative and literal began…

  44. Riö - The Evil Pug
    5:30 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Dawson!…So is Dawson still in the tree?…snort!

  45. dawson
    6:05 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I am safe at home eating cheese and crackers and sipping on hot tea so I am not in the tree. Not sure how I got out tho, must’ve fell asleep. Somebody get me out of that tree.
    SiberH: It was several days ago that you were thinking that I lived on the Yukon Quest route. I don’t. Dawson City is 660 miles away and Whitehorse, the closest city to me in the Yukon Quest, is 450 miles away.

  46. Siber-H
    6:10 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Eeek Dawson, You are a long ways from the Yukon Quest Trail but at least you are out of the tree.

  47. Macy the Min-pin
    6:32 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I could swear Dawson said that she was going to “town”, Dawson Creek, for some shopping. Must begin to read every word.

    I see no one commented on the picture that I posted on Christmas night of Mom. Surely someone would have commented on how attractive she is, how poised.

  48. Melanie
    6:33 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Hmmm . . . Franklin came in about fifteen minutes ago covered with pine needles . . . He woofed out something about Awesome, tree, blurring and then conked out.

    Finished today with a cool thing from a Walk / Run!

  49. Melanie
    6:35 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Hmmm. Macy, you mean the one where she is poised she is after walking ALL over NO? The picture which shows how attractive she is even after being totally exhausted? I like that one.

    Gracie is puffing her jowls at me and woofing because she wants my non-alcoholic Eggnog drink.

  50. B.Stover
    6:38 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Dawson jumped on Franklin’s back and he blurred her back home. They both missed Spence’s announcement. The gathering in the drawing room crowded around Spence–after twirling in anticipation–to hear the details. Astrid has been missing for so long….

  51. B.Stover
    6:41 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Macy: I love the picture of your mom. The body language is everything.

    Barb: Baye’s work is truly beautiful. I hope she keeps it up.

  52. Siber-H
    6:44 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Macy, I loved that picture of your mom also.

  53. B.Stover
    6:46 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Melanie: I loved being introduced to each Newf!

  54. Macy the Min-pin
    6:50 pm on December 27th, 2011
  55. Rose
    7:00 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Blech! Gah!

    Rio and SiberH, to think you have hurt the feelings of the only real Yankee fan with good taste, and enough love in their heart to rescue the pug’s prized ornament. sniff

  56. Siber-H
    7:10 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rose, My gah was directed more at doing with the tango with the Borzoi than at you. I like Natasha but I DON’T dance. I would trust you to rescue the Rockies ornament.
    (whispering, Rio, Do you think I got us out of this trouble?)

  57. Barb & Maggie
    7:23 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Hey, I just saw my picture over there!

    Bee, Baye wants to take the next class. This last time she did bowls. Royal’s Mum could tell us for sure, but I think bowls would be easier than vases. I think taller is harder. Is that right? She said Amalia is correct, keeper the round shape was the most difficult for her. I would have thought the glaze, but I know nuthin.

  58. Rose
    7:28 pm on December 27th, 2011

    SiberH: Please see B’s post at 3:03…Sniff!

    The real Yankee fan’s heart has been sliced in two. Sob

  59. Melanie
    7:35 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Thanks, B! My favorites are Patsy and Franklin. They look up at the camera and wag their tails! Big ol’ sweethearts!

  60. Siber-H
    7:40 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Aww Rose, you are the last person whose feelings I would want to hurt. I’m sorry, sob, sob
    I can be a closet Yankee fan at times, you know.
    I’m also in trouble with my mom over this.

  61. Mollypop's Mom
    7:46 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I left Sam’s and came home only to find there is no Internet. Rats.

  62. Rose
    8:05 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Siber, your words have tried my tears, especially when you said you can be a closet Yankee fan. I could never be mad at you for long, even though playdog that you are, you steal the hearts of many four-leggeds, and this two-legged. You’ll alway be my sweetie.

  63. Rose
    8:08 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I think it will be harder to turn Rio’s Gah into anything but a snort…..

  64. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:51 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Yankee!…Shmankee!…grunt!… I think I said ‘Blech’ because SiberH said ‘Gah’…heh!…Or was it the other way around?…sniff!

  65. Siber-H
    8:56 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Thank you, Rose. You are a good person.

    It was my, “gah” and Rio’s “blech”

  66. B.Stover
    8:58 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Mollypop’s Mom: How did you post without the internet?

  67. Basil and Sage
    9:09 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Astrid….never met her. Unless she comes with catnip mousies, don’t care much.

    Barb – re Baye’s class, sometimes taller is harder, sometimes not. Depends on the shape and height. A symetrical flat bowl is really a skill; Baye should have no trouble with “raising” the walls on a taller pot.

    And re Hef’s spaniel – we think Charlie should lift his leg on both of those spoiled “look at me, I’m a celebrity” doofuses, and then walk away to a new home where it will all be about HIM!

  68. Barb & Maggie
    9:27 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Thanks B & S, for Baye. And as far as Charlie the Spaniel, couldn’t be said any better.

    Guess what Barb has! Pink Eye! How many old, old ladies get that? Something she picked up from the kiddies over the weekend she thinks. She is thrilled and has benedryl and eye meds. Hope doggies can’t get it!

  69. Belle Starr
    9:28 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rose: Will it make you feel better if I blur over and let you run my belly?

  70. Belle Starr
    9:28 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rose: Will it make you feel better if I blur over and let you run my belly?

  71. Snow hook Bella
    9:29 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Ha! Belle Starr’s first Double Dawson!

  72. Melanie
    9:39 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Hey folks, don’t forget to look at the River Bear video I posted. It’s over on the first page.
    Totally Zonked! TTFN

  73. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:48 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Bear!….A River Bear video? …snort!… Somehow I missed that! I think, no I know its because Beau is all gassed up tonight. My eyes are watering so bad I can’t see clearly and there is a purple haze in the room….sniff!ugh!gasp!… What did he eat that I didn’t? He gobbled down some Greenie maybe that’s what it is….gurgle!…My friend is trying to work on her little projects. Good luck with that…heh!

  74. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:56 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Newfs!….Thats a great video Melanie!…snort!snort!…I still can’t tell them apart except maybe for Franklin…heh!

  75. Snow hook Bella
    10:12 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Melanie: Rose on the run! Thanks for sharing video; somehow I missed it, too.

  76. BearSpiritDog
    10:12 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Amazing romp with the River Bears!
    Strange adventures up a tree.
    Meanwhile not a bark from me
    Nose is buried in the ARC – Bear

  77. Siber-H
    10:14 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Thanks for the reminder that there is a new Newf video. Good idea, Melanie, putting the names to the faces.

  78. Staff
    10:49 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Dear Basil and Sage,
    Astrid was a ‘blog only’ story that Spence was posting before he wrote book four. He couldn’t continue with it because his mind was too confused with the two C&B stories in it at the same time, so we had to let Astrid go. We were told that he would come back to her, but we have seen no action on that part.

    Personally I think Spence has forgotten the story line and/or couldn’t figure out the ending and it is gone forever. Some of us will never forget. Snicker….

  79. Staff
    10:54 pm on December 27th, 2011

    I almost had a disaster this afternoon with some baking. I was making my wonderful pumpkin ginger nut bread and after I put it in the 2 loaf pans I thought it looked a little skimpy. I have been reducing the sugar in it each time I make it and it crossed my mind that the sugar was not reduced that much.
    But I put it in the oven anyway and then went to clean up the counter….THE CAN OF PUMPKIN WAS SITTING ON THE COUNTER UNOPENED!!!
    I got the pans out of the oven fast and poured them into a clean bowl, added the pumpkin and stirred them up again. When I refilled the pans they looked much more like I was used to seeing. I wondered if they would come out OK and they did! Whew. I had to wait an hour to find out though.

    Crisis averted…Thank dog.

  80. dawson
    10:56 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Hey Staff: Are you looking forward to starting work next week? Do you think the kitties will mind? Or will they be too busy sleeping to notice?

  81. dawson
    10:58 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Oh hey!
    Good catch.

  82. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:06 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Document!….snort!… There is a document comprised of all the posts that contained any of the story-line slash clues regarding the Astrid case….grunt!…I am not going to volunteer to send it to Spencer, Bernie or Chet….gulp!

  83. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:17 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Goodnight!…And on that note, goodnight!….snort!

  84. Snowhook Bella
    11:21 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Staff: A few moments ago, your avatar was BearSpiritDog, but now it is back to normal.

  85. Staff
    11:46 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Rebecca, Bear and I are really close. 😀

  86. Gus & BooBear
    11:49 pm on December 27th, 2011

    Melanie, loved the Newf video. Always like watching the pack at play. Could you list the newfs by size (largest to smallest or visa versa?) Mom is wondering if Franklin is the biggest or Mac?

    Wolfie, toffee was fantastic again. Mom shared one batch with the Christmas company but hoarded the other for herself. She finally let Dad have one large piece with almonds tonight. He was very impressed and we think a little miffed that he didn’t get more.

  87. Masquers
    12:49 am on December 28th, 2011

    Wind is howling…another storm blowing through.
    A quick hi & bye. Will be back on the morrow.
    Gulp. I hope………

  88. Wookie of Chevy Chase
    8:15 pm on December 30th, 2011

    Hi everyone. Wookie checking in here. Sorry, I didn’t want to alarm anyone. It’s been a quiet week here in Chevy Chase. Dad has been off so we are kind of taking it easy, although mom has kept him busy with some early spring cleaning (me, I supervise and then lay low so mom doesn’t decide that I need spring cleaning too). Wookie

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