Chetspeak on Sunday: Proust, High Finance, Tequila
Prof’s voice sounded through the speakers. “Hi, Bernie. I’ve been meaning to call you.”
“That router company I recommended in March,” Prof said. “Had a nice run-up but now it’s time to cash out and take your profits.”
“Uh,” Bernie said, “I never pulled the trigger on that.”
“No? Next you’ll be telling me you took a flyer on that tequila start-up instead.”
Bernie said nothing. The tequila start-up? Something about making tequila from this special weed that grew on landfills? I kind of remembered a woman from the company coming over to the house and giving Bernie a taste.
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink,” Prof said, which couldn’t be truer in my experience. Horses were prima donnas and making them do just about anything was impossible. “Any point in giving you another tip, Bernie?”
“Not at the moment,” Bernie said. “How’s your math?”
“Adequate for my purposes,” said Prof.
“I’ve got a bunch of equations here – mind taking a look at them?”
“They don’t teach math at West Point?”
“They do,” Bernie said, “but I don’t seem to have retained it.”
“That’s because your life is overbalanced into the physical world. Proust hardly ever left his cork-lined bedroom.”
Sounded pretty suspicious to me. I made what Bernie calls a mental note. Proust: possible perp, an orange jump suit most likely in his future.
from The Sound and the Furry.
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