Chetspeak on Sunday
Amy’s voice came through the speakers. “And – the results were negative.”
The blood drained from Bernie’s face. All at once he went from looking great to looking terrible, like this sick old guy who sometimes goes past our house in a wheelchair. “Oh, God,” he said. “Negative?”
“That’s good news, Bernie,” Amy said. “The best. Negative is good.”
“Negative is good?”
“It means no malignancy,” Amy said. “It’s just a benign growth, may shrink and vanish on its own, and easily removable if not.”
The blood came rushing back to Bernie’s face. It turned bright red – I had no doubt about that, no matter what anyone says about me and color – and he smiled a smile so big his eyes practically disappeared. What the hell was going on? “Thank you,” Bernie said. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Amy laughed and said goodbye. Bernie patted my head, kind of hard, actually. “Good boy,” he said. “Way to go.”
Nice, but what had I done?
– from TO FETCH A THIEF.
(No uploading to Friends here, but plenty of it at https://www.facebook.com/ChetTheDog.)
Tags: Chetspeak, To Fetch A Thief
This entry was posted on Sunday, November 23rd, 2014 at 7:36 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
7:44 am on November 23rd, 2014
Whew!
One of the best Chetspeaks in the history of Chetspeak. Much relief felt in the hearts of Chet and Bernie fans everywhere.
8:12 am on November 23rd, 2014
Good morning, Dawson and everyone! We love that Chetspeak, a real heart pounder. Had our eggs in honor of Egg Day. Mom says it wasn’t kosher since she put chicken fat with the eggs. Huh? What do we care, tasted good.
Hey, let’s have a subrosa Sunday (and then share it!) 🙂
8:24 am on November 23rd, 2014
Sorry Fern but it looks lilke a chickie day here. Mom is dabating either Chicken&Suasage Gumbo or Chicken Stroganoff pot pie for dinner. She says she will take any advice she can get.
HRH B, Now, there are 2 words: advise and advice. Any pointers to keep them straight? Ah, English, ya gotta love it!
8:33 am on November 23rd, 2014
Good morning all. Yes that was a heart pounding scene. Chet is never going to get sick and never going to get too old to jump out of the Porsche.
HOH, IMO you should stick to the traditional when making chicken pot pie. Just chicken, gravy and veggies, topped with pie crust or baking powder biscuits. No stroganoff please. That should be served over noodles, and made preferably with beef.
We believe advise is a verb and advice a noun, but don’t have any tricks to help remember.
8:36 am on November 23rd, 2014
HOH: I advise you not to take my advice on the matter at paw.
I had to look up the word subrosa.
Looking forward to Thanksgiving, then the auction and boutique. Staff f gave me a preview of her items. My resolve not to be a consumer is already weakening.
8:44 am on November 23rd, 2014
Oh, Dawson, your advise on Staff’s items is gnawing at our interest in the auction. How long can anyone hold out. Hey, mom beat the DDD best 2 out of 3 in cribbage last night. A rarity!
8:45 am on November 23rd, 2014
Drat! I was sure I’d be first today!

Good Morning all, Ms. Pretty would like to share her boudoir photo and be FOoD today. I think she looks lovely (if a bit blurry).
Happy Egg Day to all.
8:47 am on November 23rd, 2014
HOH–Get a tattoo of Dawson’s example (or just tape it to the fridge. Advise is the verb, advice is the noun.
8:48 am on November 23rd, 2014
…and I should have closed the parentheses after “fridge”…
8:52 am on November 23rd, 2014
I love it when we think faster than we type 🙂
8:56 am on November 23rd, 2014
Miss Pretty, your foto just shows that you can blurr anywhere, anytime. Guess Wolfie Wigglebutt has taught you well.
9:11 am on November 23rd, 2014
Well, Miss Pretty gets to be the FOoD, but Rio in his Rockies hat has appeared in the “Chet’s Friends” on the right, again!
9:25 am on November 23rd, 2014
Grumpy Gus, gloomy grey here. Mid 50’s but UGLY. Hope it is nicer at your house.
9:53 am on November 23rd, 2014
Greetings!
I remember reading that excerpt from TFAT. Although I was very scarit like Bernie, I let out a huge sigh of relief when Amy gave Bernie the good news. I agree with what Dawson said about it.
Yesterday, Grizz and I went to the dentist for our check-up. Both of us got the stamp of approval from our hygienist, and a NEW toothbrush! Yay!
I also stopped by to visit my abuelita, my mom, and my pop at St. Raymond’s Cemetery on the way home. That visit was particularly a hard one for me. I think about them every single day…
May all of youse have a Happy Egg day!
Waiting with baity breath to see all the beautiful things at the Snowhook auction.
Go SNOWHOOK!
Awesome: The calendars that went to ND has a little blue bag for you, you, you in it. Make sure someone else isn’t keeping it… :^)
9:54 am on November 23rd, 2014
I love that scene.
Yes, “advise” is the verb and “advice” is the noun. Substitute “assist.” If the sentence calls for “assist” (verb) than “advise” should be used. If the sentence calls for “assistance” (noun) than “advice” should be used.
Good morning all.
9:55 am on November 23rd, 2014
Good morning, family.
Miss Pretty is certainly all that. What a sweetie.
We have new neighbors. We don’t like them. Even though they have a driveway, they park 3 cars on the street, including one in front of our house. Their yard is a disaster area, complete with a tarp nailed over a part of their roof. Their poor dog gets chained to a tree for hours. We have already checked with authorities and there isn’t anything we can do. Wonder what they will do when snow flies and there is no on-street parking allowed
10:02 am on November 23rd, 2014
HRH B, thanks for the information. We knew you would put it all in perspectiive.
10:12 am on November 23rd, 2014
Ms. Pretty is a beauty.
Rio: Yes, I have read all of the Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle) stories and novels. Actually, I may re-read them because I have a three-volume collection that is annotated (edited by Leslie S. Klinger) and I’ve only glanced through it. The Jeremy Brett films with him as Sherlock are the most true to the original for one thing because they are set in Victorian England. They also follow the original story line.
10:20 am on November 23rd, 2014
Also…It seems to be that the Jonny Lee Miller portrayal of Sherlock Holmes in Elementary emphasizes the character’s vulnerability, while Benedict Cumberbatch’s portrayal in Sherlock emphasizes his arrogance. I enjoy both versions.
10:22 am on November 23rd, 2014
T&G, I bet our messy neighbor beats yours. I took a picture of the side of their house that adjoins my yard. Stuff blows over from their junk into my yard, and guess who picks it up? I will try to upload the picture. It actually got worse after that pic was taken, but then they covered part of it up with a tarp. At least they don’t chain their dog!
10:29 am on November 23rd, 2014
Here it is, right side up in my file. Sorry!
Oh, and that car – has had a flat tire and has been sitting there for two years!
10:37 am on November 23rd, 2014
Maybe someone can rotate and enlarge it for moi.
Off to look for Lincoln Logs and some Skylander toy stuff for gifts.
10:42 am on November 23rd, 2014
HOH: You’re welcome. English is the best!
What is “abuelita”?
10:48 am on November 23rd, 2014
B&M&L, Here in the south, many neighbors just stack their trash in the front of the house 🙁 Absolutely lovely. That is the only good thing about neighborhood associations…it keps the redneck trash in back.
10:51 am on November 23rd, 2014
HRH B, “Ito” or “ita” at the end of a noun in Spanish mmans “little” so it would mean “Little grandmother” or granny. That is what mom call herself to the grands since we are a really blended family with Nanas and grandmas and grandmothers. (And she is the one who taught Spaniish 🙂 )
10:52 am on November 23rd, 2014
HRH, B: “Abuelita” is the affectionate term in Spanish for grandmother. “Abuela” is the proper term. My siblings and I always called our grandmother abuelita.
10:55 am on November 23rd, 2014
B,M,&L and Royal Mum: Every time Grizz and I have moved was because of s&%#@y neighbors. Right now in our little section of six apartments, we can finally say that we have very good neighbors. Thank dog!
10:55 am on November 23rd, 2014
Wose, wowser, the techinical and the from the heart. We are good!
11:01 am on November 23rd, 2014
HOH! Pawbumps!
11:10 am on November 23rd, 2014
Thank you Rose and HOH.
12:50 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Today’s Chetspeak is one of the most most memorable in the Chet and Bernie series. I remember Spence saying he got some unhappy emails over it.
Congratulations to our FOD, Ms Pretty. She is cute.
Avoid the crowds and madness this Black Friday weekend. Shop the Snowhook Auction!
1:12 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Snowhook auction? Snowhook boutique? Wowser, thre may be some good shiitake in that. We hope so!
1:34 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Act!…Well, someone here finally got her act together and sent off some more Items for the Boutique and/or Auction extravaganza!…snort!… Remember there is still time to donate – but it is getting late and Luna does not tolerate tardiness very well…grunt!
1:34 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Quickly stopping by to say hey. Hey.
BBL
1:35 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Luna: We can still donate?
1:53 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Miss Pretty certainly lives up to her name!
Re Mr. Cubbins: is he polydactyl? That certainly looks like an extra toe on his paw in the picture yesterday. Reminded Mom of Toes, our polydactyl that crossed the rainbow bridge a couple of years ago. Mr. Cubbins is a cutie.
2:03 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Greetings! I am back from extreme day camp. I still am feeling a little off but I will survive. I have picked up muscle spasms that are making me very uncomfortable, but it is nice to be back among friends.
2:10 pm on November 23rd, 2014
ML, It is great to have you back with us! Hugs
2:17 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Yippeeeeeee! ML is back!!! Oh, how we have missed you. We heard that Macy was off vacationing on the Riviera with Redbone Hound. Is she back too?
BooBear – Cubbins is right-pawed poly. Not the left. And when he is cuddled up, he crosses his paws over each other with the poly foot on top. Too cute for words.
2:23 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Welcome home, ML! You have been missed.
2:26 pm on November 23rd, 2014
That is a great photo of a beautiful dog. It must have not been hard to name her.
CO2 alarm beeping. I moved it outside and it is still beeping. I think it is a low battery but I can’t figure out how to change the battery. To be on the safe side, the window downstairs where it was beeping is cracked open.
Today is a day that I need to look for lost items. I have 5 things I need to find. I kept hoping that they would magically appear as I clean house but so far that would be a big fat NO.
2:31 pm on November 23rd, 2014
ML, you are a character! How dare you sneak home while we are away from the blog! SO glad to have you back home. WE love our ML.
2:54 pm on November 23rd, 2014
ML, We have missed you and we are super glad you are back.
3:15 pm on November 23rd, 2014
ML: It is so good to have you back on this here blog again! Big hugs and love to you!
3:52 pm on November 23rd, 2014
ML: Welcome Home! You Were Missed!!!
C.Hobbit: It has been Our Experience that you Cannot Look for Lost Items. They will Reappear when they’re good and ready. snicker.
3:59 pm on November 23rd, 2014
AND they are always in the last place you look.
4:04 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Hobbit – Around our house, Mama always swears that her mother likes to hide things. After Mama acknowledges the joke, the things magically appear.
4:06 pm on November 23rd, 2014
I would just like to add that “ice” is a noun and so is “advice”. That’s how I remember which is which.
4:08 pm on November 23rd, 2014
The latest Cubbins Report – nose to nose with Sage, Callie and Tupper, no problem. Basil is being standoffish, but not aggressive in any way. Gilly is so hyper that she can’t stop wiggling long enough to let CubKat get used to her. But at one pointm they were about 6 inches from each other with no growling on either side.
Whew
Feeling more and more like this is going to all work out.
4:21 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Trisha in the UK, good advice 🙂 We like it. AND will use it in the future!
4:43 pm on November 23rd, 2014
That is a great association. We will remember that.
HOH, Of course it in the last place you look, because you stop looking after you have found it. Sheeze!
4:49 pm on November 23rd, 2014
B&M&L oh, is that so? Heh, heh, heh.
4:56 pm on November 23rd, 2014
B&M&L What’s for dinner in IL? We are having chickn and sausage gumbo over rice here in TN.
5:06 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Baked chicken breast, butternut squash and corn rigatoni. May throw something green at the plate for contrast. Not quite sure what to do with corn rigatoni. Any suggestions, HOH or anyone?
Gumbo sounds good. Do you put okra in it?
5:20 pm on November 23rd, 2014
HOH you are welcome! It works for “practice” and “practise” too. And also for other similar pairs.
5:36 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Trisha, Here on this side of the pond we use practice for both. Makes it easier on us. LOL
5:57 pm on November 23rd, 2014
I just checked and it is corn rotelli not rigatoni. Still not sure what to do with it. I don’t think I would like pasta sauce on it. It is gluten free, so Amalia or MPM, any ideas?
6:06 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Barb – our favorite standby is to toss the hot pasta with butter, Parmesan cheese and breadcrumbs. Simple and doesn’t overwhelm the pasta
6:11 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Amalia, I think I will go with that idea. I have fresh parm that I can grate on it. Sounds like a wiener.
6:12 pm on November 23rd, 2014
We recommend shredded parmesan sinc it has the flavor but better texture. Trisha in the UK. We appreciate anything you can tell us as we are sometimes ididotic.
6:13 pm on November 23rd, 2014
GAH, not sinc…SINCE.
6:51 pm on November 23rd, 2014
B,M&L That’s interesting. Wonder why not “advice” for both too?
Nearly Monday and bedtime this side of the Pond, so goodnight!
7:05 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Royal Mum: Our Favorite is when the thing you are looking for is in that Very Place you are Certain you have looked before. Obviously some quantum jumping going on.
Trisha: Nitey-Nite and Thanks for the Great Memory Tools. Dog knows I, for one, can use all the help I can get..
7:11 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Food!…I’m up for some food but no one around here is cooking…sniff!…My friend went out to lunch and says she is not hungry. She brought her mother home some fish and chips and she says she is not hungry…grump!…What about me? I’m hungry dagnabit!
7:18 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Riö: Well don’t bother asking Bear…his mouth is full. On the other paw I’m sure one of the Plunderers wouldn’t be adverse to you and Beau blurring on by about suppertime…now.
Tupper’s Mama: Of course Cubbins is blending in…how could he not?
7:25 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Trisha, We also don’t use realise.
7:28 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Hope I caught her before bedtime.
Josh just came over and helped give Maggie her bath. I was able to bathe Lucy by myself, but was afraid to try with Maggie. She stood very still for the bathing part, but then started to shake as soon as she got out of the tub. Could have had a big mess if I tried it alone!
7:31 pm on November 23rd, 2014
B&M&L, Glad you had help since the “kiddos” sometimes have different ideas than we do. As Chet says “Oh, what fun we had!”
7:39 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Checking in…been real busy here, trying to makeup for the partying yesterday. The ‘rents rode horses early this morning, then they took those bikes away for a long ride. When they came home,they took us us us for a nice walk. Itis now dinnertime, with lots of leftovers coming out.
ML, it was good to hear from you.
Tupper’s Mom, great news on the blended family front. These things are never easy, andcan’t be rushed.
7:44 pm on November 23rd, 2014
BSD–I agree with a character from one of the Martha Grimes books–when things disappear they are in a parallel universe and, as you note, will reappear when and if they feel like it.
B. Stover et al on the S. Holmes thread–Are any of you old enough to remember a Billy Wilder film from (I think) around 1970 called The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes? The plot was a stand-alone (NOT taken from the canon) and involved a whole constellation of elements dear to my heart: apart from Homes and Watson, Russian ballet, the Loch Ness monster, and Queen Victoria all make on-screen appearances (not the real QV or monster, obviously). It turns up on TV periodically and should be available at public libraries…
BTW–That Cubbins is quite the looker.
7:45 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Howlers, Sounds like you had a fun day.
T & G, Howlers are right, it is going well. I think sometimes dogs adjust better than kats. Dogs are usually more pack oriented than kitties.
7:53 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Tupper’s Mama–I forgot to mention that I currently have “challenging” neighbors–not deliberately difficult, but perhaps self-absorbed (park in front of my house and partially block the driveway, e.g. loud celebrations in Summer that go on into the early a.m. and keep me awake).
I don’t know if it would help you, but the occasional note tucked under the windshield wipers (“Please park in front of your house whenever possible–I expect guests, [or workmen, or whatever] and would like to make the space available for them” “Please pull forward when you park. I’m deathly afraid of accidentally hitting you one morning when I’m in a hurry, in which case you would be responsible for damage to both cars”)
has proven helpful. Worth a try, says I (we have a common bond in dogs, which helps).
7:54 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Diane, I am old enough but I have no memory of that film.
8:17 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Note!…Our note would read, “Get yer lazy ass out here and park in front of yer own dog-damned house!…grunt!”…sniff!…One morning someone pulled up and parked right in front of the drive-way blocking my friend who was in the process of backing out of the drive-way to go to the busy-place…grump!…She stopped the car and jumped out and was ready to YELL at someone, but they saw her rage-walking towards them and took off…heh!heh!snort!
8:21 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Cones!…Did I tell youse guys about the time she lost her composure early in the morning and threw road construction cones which were blocking her way out of the neighborhood all over the damned place? ..heh!heh!….OH! That was quite a morning too!
8:23 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Diane: We have Not seen the film, but did some research and see it was Directed by Billy Wilder. There have been complaints that original footage was Lost in Transition to DVD.
Barb: Magpie and Lucy will back me up on this…Shaking is What We Do When Wet.
8:25 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Rio: Heh, heh…Your Friend Rage-Walking…Must have been a Sight to See!
8:26 pm on November 23rd, 2014
There is something to be said for both arguments 🙂
8:27 pm on November 23rd, 2014
60-Minutes!….Why oh why do we watch this show?…grump!…It makes us want to throw up our paws and give-up all hope for all living things…gah!
8:30 pm on November 23rd, 2014
More than once mom’s shirttail has been grabbed as she is going over a counter to straighten out a snot nosed clerk. Mom may be right, but not always tactful.
8:33 pm on November 23rd, 2014
We have s love/hate relationship with 60 minutes. Want to know but also want to grab a pant leg…case closed!
8:38 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Of what do you speak? The bridge dilemma, Chernobyl, the lost WWII airmen?
8:44 pm on November 23rd, 2014
BTW, the baked chicken with the rotelli was excellent. The corn rotelli was very good. Just bought it because it was in the clearance section, but it was a winner. Used butter and parm. and topped with the baked chicken breast which was dipped in butter and rolled in breadcrumbs.
8:48 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Barb, we will let you cook for us almost any time. You are so creative 🙂
9:03 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Barb!…Yes!
9:24 pm on November 23rd, 2014
We remember several Wilder films. Does that mean we are dating ourselves?
9:28 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Thank you, but I think the reigning chef of the blog is Amalia. I will be her understudy.
9:34 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Wonder if I can find that portal to the alternate universe.
Just for a couple of days…..
9:36 pm on November 23rd, 2014
I’m not going to drive over any bridges anymore.
9:39 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Bridges!…I’m more worrit about the leaking radiation from Russia…gah!…We here have very few bridges to drive over – but I will worry about all you Easterners…snuffle!
9:52 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Parenthood!…Barb, did you see my appearance on Parenthood in the dawg-park episode? I believe it is episode 5 we are watching right now..heh!heh!…snort!…I made a few extra bucks for Christmas doing that gig. Easy-peezy!..chuffle!
10:01 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Rio, I am sorry, but somehow I missed that! Do you know when it aired originally?
10:11 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Cameo!…No big deal Barb. No need to go back and watch the show…heh!heh!…Quick appearance and I was outta there with cash in my coat of many colors…snorkel!
10:21 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Maddening!…So those of youse who watch “Parenthood”, where do you stand on the whole Joel side of things?…grunt!
10:32 pm on November 23rd, 2014
OK, Rio, mixed feelings about Joel. He did mess up big time, but I think they should get back together. He is sorry, and I guess everyone is entitled to one major F***up/do over in their life.
Think about it, if there was one MAJOR thing you could do over, would you do it? And what would it be?
10:44 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Rio, what is your opinion on the Joel issue?
10:48 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Joel!…He was totally unreasonable for a whole season, which I guess equates to a year in TV Series time…snort!…I myself have never messed up in a Major fashion that I regret…sniff!…My friend however wishes she would have kissed the love of her life in the photography darkroom way back when instead of being shy…grunt!
10:50 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Opinion!…My opinion is Joel needs to go. Bye-bye Joel…sniff!…Anyone who willy nilly breaks up a family like that is not deserving of said family…grunt!..Good Bye Joel.
11:00 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Rio, You are right. He was unreasonable. However, people have made much bigger mistakes, so he should get over it and move on. I think they will reconcile before the series ends.
Now, good night.
11:16 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Reconcile!…Barb, well you have seen many more episodes than I have…heh!…You probably know they will reconcile because of that. I like the NEW guy right now…snort!..Because Julia has been through Hell forever and a day because of Joel’s weirdness for the past year…sniff!
11:28 pm on November 23rd, 2014
Hamilton!…I’m so frigging sick of that guys ugly face…grump!
12:35 am on November 24th, 2014
Gah. Do youse see up top where Spence is telling everyone to submit their month end photos over on F/b? Seems to me “someone” has given up on the upload dilemma on this here blog.
7:50 am on November 24th, 2014
Can someone please fill us in on what bridge incident was being referred to earlier?
6:30 am on January 6th, 2015
Rather impressive tattoo