Chetspeak on Sunday
“Besides that,” Bernie said. “Everything okay at your mom’s place?”
“At home, you mean?” Charlie said.
“Yeah,” said Bernie. Sometimes a little twitch happens in his jaw; like now. “At home.”
“Fine.”
“How’s, uh, um, well …”
“Malcolm?”
“Yeah, Malcolm.”
“It’s a Scottish name.”
“Yeah?”
“They throw the caber.”
“Sorry?”
“The Scottish. It’s like a big pole they throw. For sports, Dad. Malcolm told me.”
“Did he throw the thing? Cable, whatever the hell it is?”
“Caber, Dad. Nope. He’s not strong like you. Mom had to open the pickles.”
Bernie grunted, not one of those grunts humans do when they’re changing the oil, or lifting something heavy, or getting hit in the gut; in my job I’ve heard that hit-in-the-gut one plenty of times. No, this was the kind of grunt where whatever’s just been said clears things up. So, if all that – pickles, cabers, other stuff that had zipped right by – cleared things up for Bernie, great. As for me, I felt cleared up already.
– from To Fetch A Thief.
Tags: Chetspeak, To Fetch A Thief
This entry was posted on Sunday, July 7th, 2013 at 8:33 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
8:50 am on July 7th, 2013
Happy Egg Day! We just love hearing from Chet. And we do not like Malcolm.
Another very HOT one here, and we are still working on our “plan”. Been studying the “coop situation” a lot now; Mom is not happy with us.
8:55 am on July 7th, 2013
Gooood morning, everyone! Happy Egg Day and Chetspeak (although today was way more like Charliespeak).
We promise NOT to grouse (isn’t that a boid?) too much about the weather and the mold and the fungus and the lack of sun and the overflowing roads and…oops grousing.
Tenzing, thanks for the update. Sorry about the tooth thing but we (Emma and Darah) understand inhaling food. So,we, the HOH, took a vote and decided that today is…TenZING Zunday. Why? Because he is such a Zinger with great aim. Also, kudos to the “Keeper of the Kennel” because she is a gold medal duck-er. ) More boid references just for Rio.
9:14 am on July 7th, 2013
Hi Chet.
Good morning all.
10:06 am on July 7th, 2013
This here is Claudie. If mom were to give me my own avatar, (which she would if she were more technically gifted), you would see that I am a big ol white cat with orange blotches. Mom says that I have the bluest eyes that she has ever seen. I had my teeth removed to an autoimmune whatchamacallit, and I feel 100% better. I get canned cat food twice a day and life is grand. I just want Tenzing to know that this tooth thing can work out to his benefit in a very positive way. I hope that you are feeling better soon.
10:19 am on July 7th, 2013
Love Chet speak. Also we do not like Malcolm.
Sibes, stay clear of that coop. You do not want your mom mad at you.
Barb saw a little dog yesterday at a farm stand and he looked just exactly like Smokey Joe. Barb asked and they said he was a Yorkie Poo. Probably a min. Poodle, not a toy, because he was about 12-14 lbs. like Joe. That Yorkshire terrier part would be why he has such a thing for the squirrels and chipmunks.
10:20 am on July 7th, 2013
Last night we were on the deck enjoying something that Chet and Bernie cannot get down there in “The Valley.” Fireflies. In this two minute video I clocked about 30 of them. Since we moved East in 1990, we’ve always made it a point to welcome them to our yard.
10:21 am on July 7th, 2013
Here’s that video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8_iOzjBobc
10:36 am on July 7th, 2013
Terry, mom was jumping around the room at your fireflies/lightning bug post. She’s a west coast girl, transplanted to have become a vicarious Tennessean and LOVES those glowy guys so we try to drag then in on our coats 🙂
10:42 am on July 7th, 2013
“Mom had to open the pickles.” I love that line.
Rose: I should’ve posted yesterday. I was having “one of those days” for the last several days. I did not notice until late the mail on the front porch and a package from you. Thank you. I took it as a sign to “Plunder On!”
I’ll be busy today as s i l is coming over for her revenge. The one thing that has been going right is that I am unbeatable at cards, much to her extreme annoyance. First, I’m off to the Farmer’s Market.
10:45 am on July 7th, 2013
Barb always called them lightening bugs when she was growing up, but whatever you call them, we love them too.
Tenzing, hope you are better today.
Barb just went out to look at the garden and the mosquitos almost carried her off. She has to go buy spray before she can do any lawn mowing. The little blood suckers have hatched after all the rain we have had recently.
Later today she is going to order the book the Wookie’s Dad mentioned, Smokey Mountain Tracks. Good to have some more recommendations for summer reading.
I think David Rosenthal has another Andy Carepenter book coming out this month. Does anyone know for sure?
10:45 am on July 7th, 2013
Happy Egg Day to all, and love that Chet Speak as become a Sunday regular.
RIO! Your hndsomest picture is up top.
HOWlers…….I don’t want to hear that any of you have been caught with a mouthful of chicken feathers.
Oh, my poor boy Tenzing. I am glad you have some medicine now. Don’t worry about your teeth, I am missing a lot of mine too.
Belle and I have been working on a sparkly Bellie dust that she will sprinkle on you to make you fell better in no time when she gets back home today. Your Lady is so good at so many things. But most of all she is the best at loving you and all the Snowhook dogs. Try and rest today.
10:46 am on July 7th, 2013
“Mom had to open the pickles is funny”
We love Chetspeak on Sundays.
Fellow Sibers, Keep Planning. We are suppose to be good at problem solving. That is not the same as obedience.
Terry, Mom misses fireflies. Thanks for the fireflies. I have never seen any, and mom says that is a good thing because I hate bugs.
Good Morning All
10:48 am on July 7th, 2013
Dawson: Whew! I think Rio might have bitten my pant leg if those TMG would have gotten to you package first. Hope you like it. If it needs explaination SDD me.
10:50 am on July 7th, 2013
Terry, we had a lot oflightening bugs here last night also. We all love to sit on the porchand watchthem lighting up the fields in the evening. There looks like thousands of them.
Barb, the chickies are getting bigger. They put themselves to bed now, and they all go up on the perch, although Mom says they stay so close together on that perch, it’s hard to see that there are 7 individuals, and not just 1 big one up there. They have not needed the heat lamp the past 2 nights, because the temperatures have stayed so warm. Mom is threatening to keep us in jail tomorrow, when she has to go back to her work place.
10:54 am on July 7th, 2013
Barb, “Unleashed” (Andy Carpenter) will be released on July 23.
Tenzing, You are on your way to feeling better. I am sure they gave you some meds for the explosions. We know you are getting the best of care. Love from us to you.
BBL
11:15 am on July 7th, 2013
Hi All, Will probably go back into Lurker mode today. Zoë and I are getting over heat exhaustion. Not fun.
Dawson, I understand about being busy.
Tenzing, hope you got the healing Newf Drool.
O’Howlers, behave or at least don’t get caught.
Didn’t sleep very well last night . . adrenalyn rush. Here’s the email I sent to my guys.
I was getting the dogs’s pills ready for the night when I heard a woman’s voice say, “I need some help”.
I went to the front door and there was a runner. There was a bear in our orchard. She wanted to know if I thought it was safe to RUN by him. Umm, no. I told her I would give her a lift to her house. She lives up on Windago Rd. she wanted to continue her run. At this point the bear is making himself comfortable in the orchard. Don’t know what he was eating, but he was enjoying it.
I told her maybe is she walked on the other side of the road, but under no circumstances should she run, she would probably get by him.
That’s when she took me up on a ride just around the corner.
He watched us very carefully and when I started the car, he started for the river.
That’s when I drove her home.
Didn’t see him when I got back so I went towards the west wing driveway, and scared him up that tree right in front of the house.
I went to the other driveway and pulled as close as I could to the house. He came down the tree and started going up the ramp, changed his mind, and headed towards me. I blinked the lights and he went off towards Larry’s yard.
We watched each other as I shut the hatch to the basement, and then slammed the barn door, and put up the barricades.
Zoe is going to wonder what the hell was going on when she goes to feed the dogs in the morning.
11:22 am on July 7th, 2013
It must be a firefly summer. When Mama took us out for our last run of the evening, the back yard looked like it was strung with flashing Christmas lights.
Funny how the flashes synchronize – there will be lots of random, little sparkly flashes, and then Voom! All the flashed do one huge bright light at the same time.
Mama thinks that the flashes are a kind of firefly song, inaudible to us, but a melody in the night. And the big flash is the chorus.
Mama is a hopeless romantic.
11:52 am on July 7th, 2013
Melanie, we kept waiting for you to say it wasn’t a bear, but one of the newf pack!
11:56 am on July 7th, 2013
Happy Day, everyone!
Spending a quiet day at home as my friends ended up forgetting I was coming, so they went without me. No biggie, as I need to finish up a few projects. 🙂
Melanie: That is super scary! I’ve never personally seen a bear, but I’ve seen lots of bear scat. I’ve seen a few Mountain Lions and a metric ton of crazy deer, but no bears.
12:00 pm on July 7th, 2013
T&G. Music, huh. Tell Mama it is s*e*x at work. Maybe the bugs are hearing ‘bells’.
We had lightning bugs when we lived in southern Indiana. That was in the early 60’s. I don’t remember them in Minnesota. Once (and only once) I saw lighting bug(s) here in North Dakota. I don’t know if the wind blew it/them up from a more common place or if the pesticides that the farmers spray on the fields kills them off. (I suspect the latter)
I really liked seeing the video Terry posted.
http://www.firefly.org/how-you-can-help.html
Melanie, Wow, you had an exciting day yesterday. Get some rest now.
Tenzing. Teeth are important. Alice has teeth issues because she was abandoned at about 6-8 weeks and came to us at 6 months. Her permanent teeth didn’t develop well because of starvation. She is still just a little thing. However her attitude is large.
12:02 pm on July 7th, 2013
Claudie, Welcome to the blog. I like having my own avatar but sometimes it confuses Staff. I don’t always remember to log off. At least that is what she says. I have no idea what she means because I have no logs in the house and she doesn’t let me outside to find one. Sheesh!
12:08 pm on July 7th, 2013
Fireflies blink their light organs to attract mates. We have a lot of them around here also.
It’s raining again and I, like Zoe, have become a mold person. And I’m allergic to mold. Sigh.
12:11 pm on July 7th, 2013
A bear! We think we’ll stay hidden today. Seriously, Melanie, that is scary.
12:12 pm on July 7th, 2013
Lots of gooood firefly info.
Melanie: Tanks for the bear facts. Daddy dawg and mom were talking about that yesterday. Seen lots of critters here and in CA, but never bears, thank dog.
12:14 pm on July 7th, 2013
Tenzing, buddy and I both had to have teeth removed. All of his removed, as were most of mine. That never stopped us from eating well: both soft (canned) and hard foods.
We here are all hoping the meds help you feel better real soon.
12:36 pm on July 7th, 2013
Tenzing: Mom used to do something special to my sisters’ food…something with the yummy juice off the chicken she would boil all day, then she’d put in the dry stuff, then put it in the big machine that made noise, then she’d put it in the bowl. Mom would say it was the worst thing she’s ever seen, but my sister loved it and ate it even when almost all of her teeth were gone.
12:50 pm on July 7th, 2013
Holy schnieke, Batman! What is that big yellow thing that is in the sky? There are shadows ???? Are we living in a sci-fi??? Wuz up??? Ain’t it grand??? (and my spell check is about to blow u p! ! !)
1:06 pm on July 7th, 2013
Tenzing – you needn’t worry. Your two-legged will do absolutely everything in her power to make sure you have a happy, healthy and well fed life.
We told Mama what you all said about the fireflies. She said she knew that in the left side of her brain, but she prefers to see beautiful things with the right side. And on that side, fireflies are singing. So there!
All we know is that if the Wrotten Kats have firefly sushi, their whiskers glow in the dark. THAT will spook you the first time you see it.
1:39 pm on July 7th, 2013
T&G: Your mom’s description of fireflies was lovely. (Staff’s was humorous.)
2:42 pm on July 7th, 2013
Mr.Tenzing!…I am so happy to know you will be fine once again…snort!…As for Rebecca, I’m not sure she will recover from those explosive episodes any time soon…snuffle!
Beau!…No one mentioned what they thought of Beau’s big day on the patio…heh!heh!
2:49 pm on July 7th, 2013
Staff!…My friend thinks the bird family are just common Sparrows…sniff!…Here is a photo of the Papa. He is a grumpy bird. Always chittering at me and Beau…grunt!
2:51 pm on July 7th, 2013
SiberH!…Here is a foto of one of my chili peppers that grew straight up instead of pointing down…heh!heh!
3:05 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio, That is a healthy looking chili pepper no matter what direction it is growing.
3:14 pm on July 7th, 2013
Mom thinks it is a sparrow of sorts, but she feels birds come in: little brown birds, birds that kill, water birds and others!
3:28 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio, Yup. House Sparrow. It is a LBB if you listen to Sharon HOH.
Here are my baby birds. SIX barn swallow babies. The parents are very busy right now.
3:36 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio, we enjoyed watching Beau’s video. He must be a little more active on kat watch than he is on bird watch. Tell your friend that Mom LOVES her birdhouse! Very cool and hobbit looking.
Staff, what cute baby birds. We used to have baby purple martins every year at the old house, but not here. But we have deer and hummingbirds here so it’s a trade off.
4:09 pm on July 7th, 2013
Kat!…Watch!…snort!…If you ever saw Beau on Kat-Watch you would not believe it is the same guy on that patio…heh!heh!…One day my friend says she will try and be ready to capture a Kat-Watch episode…snort!
4:09 pm on July 7th, 2013
We here had a less eventful night than the recent past. Both my Lady and I are grateful for this. My Lady said the dog crying on the other side of the door was probably getting his temperature taken. I wonder if she is just saying that to make me feel better.
Rio: My Lady keeps scrubbing the floor and repeating the wash cycle for soft goods that were in the line of fire. I think everything is clean, but she keeps saying, “Just one more once over, bud.” She’s said that three times since we arrived home from the vet yesterday.
More to Rio: Did you glue Beau to the patio?
My Lady saw lightening bugs for the first time when she was back east a few weeks ago. It flew around her boss’ head. Her first thought was that his halo must be on the fritz.
4:14 pm on July 7th, 2013
Melanie: We here are of the mind that your bear last night was Patsy come by to visit.
Dawson: If you’re having one of ‘those days’ again today, there is plenty of room under the Quilt. Luna brought by snacks and extra clothes in case you want to play cards.
4:22 pm on July 7th, 2013
Wose: Do you think Grizz noticed the sparkles I put on his glasses while he was sleeping last night?
4:35 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio: It took a lot of whistling for Beau to raise his head at the 1-minute mark and that only lasted 15 seconds. However, my dog Sadie was very interested in the whistling herself. I am sure Beau was meditating on either the mysteries of the universe or his next meal.
I have had an ear ache for 2 days and now can’t hear out of my left ear. I will have to go to google and figure out what to do. But first I have to mow my lawn.
4:35 pm on July 7th, 2013
Staff, Last year we had a barn swallow family on our back walll of the house by the patio. We had only 4 babies, and the parents had to work non stop to feed them. They were also extremely messy, as comp[ared to the very tidy robin family that had a nest in the top of of big wreath hanging on the wall in back. The barn swallow babies returned to the nest for about a weeek after initially fledging.
Siber, Thanks, we will look for Unleashed after the 23rd.
4:42 pm on July 7th, 2013
A flyby hi
5:07 pm on July 7th, 2013
Fly!…Was that a Kat that just flew by??…snort!
5:08 pm on July 7th, 2013
Glue!…No need for glue. When Beau is tired he doesn’t really move….sniff!…Too bad he didn’t roll-over on his back and stick his paws straight up in the air…heh!heh!
6:04 pm on July 7th, 2013
Beau with all fours in the air is something I’d like to see.
6:20 pm on July 7th, 2013
Beau!…On his back letting it all hang out is not something you should wish to see…grunt!
6:22 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rain!….We were out on the patio waiting for rain, but it didn’t come, so we came downstairs and now it is raining!….Woooooo!…Rain!…Yippeeee!
6:28 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio: at the risk of urinating you off, stop picking on Beau
6:30 pm on July 7th, 2013
Wha!?…sniff!…I’m not picking on Beau, I am just stating the facts ma’am…grunt!
6:41 pm on July 7th, 2013
GAH!…The Snakes are killing us big time….sob!sob!sob!…Injuries and strike-outs have been the name-of-our-games…sob!sob!sob!
6:45 pm on July 7th, 2013
Seriously!….I am almost ready to lose all hope….groan!…Another year…sob!sob!sob!…Arizona outscored the Rockies 22 ta 2 during the series…sniff!…We needed to win this series really badly…grump!whine!grumble!
6:58 pm on July 7th, 2013
I had the lovely Princess Sam with me since Friday. We stayed inside last night for the Gretchen Wilson concert at the bandstand right outside my condo. It was so loud I could feel the vibrations in my bones. That was followed by fireworks and Sam knew how scared I was so she protected me.
I took her home this afternoon so I could hear the Creedence Clearwater concert unprotected tonight. I’ll just have to rough it.
7:00 pm on July 7th, 2013
Oh,poor Rio! We can almost believe he cares who wins and who loses!
7:03 pm on July 7th, 2013
Creeddence…one of mom’s favorites.
sob, sob, sob, The Rockies had big problems in Arizona.
Rio, We cannot lose all hope. The Rockies are still playing better than last year even though it doesn’t seem like it.
7:08 pm on July 7th, 2013
HOH, Rio wants his Rockies to win with every fiber of his evil being. You betcha!
7:09 pm on July 7th, 2013
Oooo – we wish we could be there for Creedence.
Down on the corner
Out in the street
Willie and the pump boys are playin
Bring a nickle
Tap your feet.
Sam – you big, brave Princess, you.
tee hee
7:17 pm on July 7th, 2013
We are all indoors because we are getting a Big Storm and you-know-who is scared. (mom).
What did we miss about Beau and the patio? Did we miss a picture?
7:31 pm on July 7th, 2013
Not to worry…Willie and the poor boys are playing, bring a nickle, can’t be beat!
7:57 pm on July 7th, 2013
Hey Sam, Here is my video….Alice to the stars!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7k36RvIaUA
7:57 pm on July 7th, 2013
Belle Starr: Grizz did say he had stars in his eyes.
8:06 pm on July 7th, 2013
Poor Sammie.
8:11 pm on July 7th, 2013
Howlers!…You missed Beau’s exciting adventure on the patio watching birds with my friend…snort!…Last night.
Alice!…Snort!…I don’t believe one word of it…chorkel!
8:13 pm on July 7th, 2013
Sammie!…You nailed it…sniff!…But, but I am losing my thread of hope…wuffle!…The thing that keeps me going all season…guffle!sob!
8:21 pm on July 7th, 2013
Watching boids? Wowser! Adventures, stars, threads…snort, gurgle, hope.
8:23 pm on July 7th, 2013
MPM: You’re a brave womam.
8:25 pm on July 7th, 2013
Alice, you are a better dog than I am!
8:33 pm on July 7th, 2013
Wose: Stars in his eyes? Mission accomplished. Now, if we could just make him stop being lergic to you. Everytime my Four-legged and I visit it is sneeze this and sniffle that. He must really love you.
9:00 pm on July 7th, 2013
Twirls!…My friend has twirls in her eyes…sniff!….She says she has cut, twirled and glued so many little pieces of colored paper this weekend, without the help of CHobbit by the way, that she can hardly see straight…grunt! …This is good news. Maybe we will not have to go on a long walk later…heh!heh!
9:10 pm on July 7th, 2013
We know, Beau , Rio. Wowser! you’
re not doing anything. Wow
9:11 pm on July 7th, 2013
Alice: Wow! What can I say, you are a star!
Rio: I always feel better after a walk so here’s hoping that your friend gets a nice long one. heh, heh
9:15 pm on July 7th, 2013
CHobbit!….And I thought you were my friend…grunt!
9:16 pm on July 7th, 2013
No walks here. Skeeters are horrific out there.
A little tv and then beddy bye. Night all.
9:21 pm on July 7th, 2013
Skeeters!….We get patted down with skeeter-beware stuff before those damned walks …grunt!…Just to make matters worse we both smell like bug spray all night long…grumble!itch!sneeze!…She won’t take us while the sun is still high cuz Beau doesn’t do well in the sun…sniff!…He just stands there looking around like an idiot if its too hot out…heh!
9:30 pm on July 7th, 2013
Wow Alice. You glam up well.
We just watched Copperhead. Did any of tou see that movie?
9:41 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio: I got 18 bites on one forearm and 9 on the other. And that was wearing 3/4 sleeve knit top and bug dope. This is one of the reasons why I urge people to visit Alaska in the winter and not the summer.
9:46 pm on July 7th, 2013
CHobbit!…Bug Dope…snort!…Never heard it put that way…heh!…Just let us all know when you sell your house and move to Anchorage, then we can talk about the BIG PARTY!…WOOOOOO!
Walk!…15 minutes and counting till our damned walk…grump!…Someone quit working on projects and decided her eyes are clearing up now…sniff!
10:03 pm on July 7th, 2013
I don’t want to scare anyone off from coming to Alaska in the summer. If I am around (or Rebecca), we will act as mosquito bait and everyone else will be FINE.
10:08 pm on July 7th, 2013
I tell people if you can make it through June and July in Alaska, you can make it through anything. The mosquitoes become tolerable in August. I agree with CHH, it is best to visit in the winter.
10:10 pm on July 7th, 2013
Earlier this week it was the kaboom, pop, pop of fireworks. Tonight, the thunder is rolling. Can’t a guy get a break around here?
10:52 pm on July 7th, 2013
Mr.Tenzing!…Will this weekend of hell never end for you?…wuffle!…The weekend went to fast for us here, but for you it must be unending…geeze!grunt! …Take care pal, and get in that shower stall right away…sniff!
11:03 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio: Luckily, I don’t have to share the shower with Luna tonight. She’s sought refuge in the corner of the living room.
11:22 pm on July 7th, 2013
Masterpiece!…We here, meaning my friend and I, hate the fact that Masterpiece Theater comes on so late…sniff!…We cannot stay up till 10:30 on a Sunday night to watch “Endeavor”…grunt!…This is about Inspector Morse when he was a young chappie…wuffle!…Nooo, we have to go to bed so someone can got to the busy-place that she despises…hissss!spit!…Now I sound like a Kat…grunt!
11:37 pm on July 7th, 2013
Rio: Maybe if your friend tries the note again, it will have better results this time.
My Lady is waiting for the Giant to call tonight. Me? I’m keeping her safe from the thunder. I’m also hogging the couch.
12:11 am on July 8th, 2013
Staff had to go outside to see why the birds were making such a fuss. There was a foreign kat out there. He was thinking about the Robin fledgling I am sure. Or the Bluebird babies. The Barn Swallow parents were having a fit!
She clapped her hands at him/her and he sauntered off.
I disapprove of foreign kats.
Staff says at least it wasn’t bears!
1:53 am on July 8th, 2013
8:15 am on July 8th, 2013
Melanie – what the heck were you doing up at that undogly hour?
(Besides posting pictures of kitty conspiracies)
Going grocery shopping before the heat becomes too unbearable. It is so tropical here I expect to see Tarzan swinging through the trees any minute.