Chetspeak on Sunday

“Had much experience with mushrooms, Bernie?” he said.

“Nope,” said Bernie.

Whoa. Nope? Had he forgotten that huge and tasty mushroom we’d found in the woods on the Big Bear Case? And didn’t Bernie love to throw little white mushrooms on the barbecue when we grilled burgers? Which I hoped would be happening again real soon. I could just about smell them! In fact, with a little more effort, I actually … yes! I smelled burgers. I’d made myself smell burgers when there were none around – wow! What a life. Had something just been bothering me? Whatever it was: poof!

“Once on shrooms,” Nixon was saying, “ – this was down in Mexico, bad idea as it turned out, but that came later – I was sitting by this campfire and all of a sudden I rose up out of the flames.” Nixon opened his eyes. “Not me, but this vision, you see what I mean.”

“Gotcha,” said Bernie.

“Only I was in black-and-white,” Nixon. “Shimmering. Is that a word?”

“Think so.”

“I was shimmering,” Nixon said. “There was me, this real person, and then me, this unreal person – but cool, you know? – at the same time.” Nixon shrugged and went silent.

“That’s what Bette Davis had?” Bernie said. “Real and unreal at the same time?”

– from A Fistful of Collars

Welcome Oakley.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, December 8th, 2013 at 9:55 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

115 Responses to “Chetspeak on Sunday”

  1. Melanie
    10:01 am on December 8th, 2013

    Are we all real and not real at the same time?

    Except for the Nation Within. They are always real. There are grounded in the Earth with their Spirits in the Sky.

  2. B. Stover
    10:07 am on December 8th, 2013

    Why am I reminded of the Jefferson Airplanes? (“…Poor Alice when she was just small….”)

    Good morning Chet and all.

  3. Melanie
    10:09 am on December 8th, 2013

    Snicker.

  4. bluecat
    10:25 am on December 8th, 2013

    Good one, Bee. A soupcon of the paranormal.

    Good morning all, especially Melanie, who has a wonderful snicker.

    Rio – my information is in contacts at the dish. Macy – thanks for housekeeping.

  5. Herd of Hounds
    10:35 am on December 8th, 2013

    HRH B: Jefferson Airplane…singular (sorry)
    Wow a bizzare Chetspeak and Egg day. Ours were scrambled.
    Had trouble with dishlickers contacts. will send my info via SDD.
    Almost time for Saturnalia Sunday.

  6. BearSpiritDog
    10:37 am on December 8th, 2013

    Chet: You always express the thoughts of the Nation Within perfectly. Sundays with Chet are the Best.

    Melanie: That was Beautiful!

    B: Some Interesting Memories you are having of late.

    BlueCat: Must admit…had to look that one up.

    Hounds: Didn’t the Airplane become the Starship later?
    Brunch! I’m off to have some.

  7. Barb & Maggie
    10:43 am on December 8th, 2013

    Good morning all. Happy Sunday and Happy Egg Day. We had our egg in the form of a breakfast sandwich – egg, cheese bacon on an English muffin. Yum!

    We didn’t quite get the Bette Davis connection to shrooms. Can someone explain?

  8. Herd of Hounds
    10:49 am on December 8th, 2013

    BSD: Yes Airplane to Starship and a great career foe Gracie Slick. P.S. Do you still have our sun. Really missing it. Been a week without it :(

  9. Barb & Maggie
    11:01 am on December 8th, 2013

    I don’t think Bernie meant that Bette Davis did hallucinogentics.

  10. Masquers
    11:06 am on December 8th, 2013

    HOH: Sad to say, we do not have your sun. Maybe later as I believe there are some patches of blue about to appear on yon horizon.
    B&M: One of our last(ing) impressions of Bette Davis is an Academy Awards speech she gave while not in the best condition. The word ramble and slurring of words come to mind.
    Now off to Dish to update our data and admire the Min-pin’s housekeeping skills.

  11. Barb & Maggie
    11:11 am on December 8th, 2013

    There is a picture of Pearl up on top. She has one of those fresh long bones, which are my favorite.

  12. B. Stover
    11:12 am on December 8th, 2013

    I think the Bette Davis reference is to the “shimmering” in black and white–as a film actress she’s real (person) and unreal (film character) at the same time and of course the films are in black and white. (Now I’m reminded of “All About Eve” but I don’t know why.)

    I like Melanie’s snicker also.

    And, yes, Jefferson Airplanes became Jefferson Starship. (There was a great episode of Warehouse 13 with the “White Rabbit” song throughout.)

  13. B. Stover
    11:15 am on December 8th, 2013

    And, yes, HOH is correct. I don’t know why I keep making Jefferson Airplane plural….

  14. Herd of Hounds
    11:28 am on December 8th, 2013

    All About Eve…isn’t that Joanne Woodward?

  15. B. Stover
    12:02 pm on December 8th, 2013

    The 1950 film “All About Eve” starred Bette Davis, Anne Baxter (who played Eve) and George Sanders.

  16. Herd of Hounds
    12:08 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Oops, thinking 3 faces of Eve. Our bad.

  17. Barb & Maggie
    12:24 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Lovely snowfall starting here. We are expecting about 2″. Just enough to be pretty and not enough to make driving dangerous.

    Kelly and Chad found a great cut your own Christmas tree place not far from here, just across the WI border. The Newfoundland Club is there on weekends from 11-3:00. After you go out and cut your tree, you load it on a sled and a Newfie pulls it back to your car. Very cool!

  18. Macy the min-pin
    12:53 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Oh, man, I want a Newfie-pulled tree!

  19. Melanie
    12:54 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Isn’t that grand? A Newf delivered tree.

    Still doing a lot of naps here.

    I call this picture . . “Bliss”.

  20. Staff
    1:02 pm on December 8th, 2013

    The Lady Eve with Henry Fonda and Barbara Stanwyck is one of my favorite movies. snicker. Since we are on an Eve theme.

  21. Herd of Hounds
    1:14 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Melanie: one up, one down. What could be better.
    Staff: Right, Eve theme. Adam and…3Faces….All about…Are we on a roll or what?
    Oh, and love the Newf delivered tree! Hmm, wonder if we can train the baby? All I need to do is get her off my toes first.

  22. Herd of Hounds
    1:29 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Macy: cute cat house/xmas tree.

  23. BooBear
    1:30 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Happy Sunday, all! Mom is leaving to do a bit of shopping in a few minutes. I know Rebecca was out of town for the week, but have any of y’all received mailing instructions for the auction items yet? I don’t know who bought the pet blanket, but Masquers and BSD bought the MEOW hook. NanaBarb, let me know if you want it sent to your home address and Mom will get is mailed early this week.

    Mom has a bio story on TV about the making of The Silence of the Lamb and its almost as chilling as the movie.

  24. Herd of Hounds
    1:34 pm on December 8th, 2013

    BSD: Our sun is supposed to return on Wed. Only a week and a half later than it went away :( :) Hope it comes back then. Miss it. Feel like a sci-fi movie.

  25. BearSpiritDog
    2:08 pm on December 8th, 2013

    BooBear: Youse can mail it to us here at Home, Home, Home!

    Hounds: The Sun…maybe we can share?

  26. Herd of Hounds
    2:14 pm on December 8th, 2013

    BSD: Sun plan sounds ok
    Wow. mom said she was taking a nap. Daddy Dawg went to basement and power tools started :( Men, can’t live with them, illegal to kill them. What was so hard to comprehend about, “Im taking a nap”?

  27. Masquers
    2:15 pm on December 8th, 2013

    National update: Weatherkat

  28. Macy the min-pin
    2:18 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Anybody watching the Lions/Philly game? Looks more like little boys playing snowball fight.

  29. Masquers
    2:18 pm on December 8th, 2013
  30. Masquers
    2:20 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Macy: We here will be watching the Seahawks trounce San Francisco.

  31. Herd of Hounds
    2:32 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Grandpa V. played semi-pro ball in IA. Never quite understood the fascination. Oops, am the black sheep of the family anyway!

  32. Herd of Hounds
    2:41 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Masquers: Would you look at those temps? Might could be almost winter.

  33. Kat
    2:49 pm on December 8th, 2013

    WEEEEEEE! My first snow!!!!! We are supposed to get 2-4″ but some very heavy bands hit Philly as those of you, like Macy, saw at the Iggles game. Unfortunately, it is supposed to turn to freezing rain tonight, and Mom must go to work early.
    I am supposed to tell you that Fern was out in the yard with her sisters all day, until it started snowing. Nobody could hurt her because she was in an old doggie crate with the bottom cut off. So they could all hang out together. She is back indoors now, and just laid another egg. That is 6 altogether for us today.
    We put up some decorations. No tree, but we put up our greens on all the windowsills, along with the candles. We also put up lights on the very big tree outside. And our stockings are hung. This is to be a very understated Christmas.

  34. Melanie
    2:53 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Went to the little store down the road looking for some more homeopathic cough suppressant. They put it near the smelly soaps. Which started up my cough, which started up my nose, had to find napkins, finally able to blow my nose.

    Jeeze Louise! Everyone looked at me as if I were contagious. I finally got the word allergies out. Everyone was apologetic. I was so tired after the attack, I just sat in the car.

    I can’t take me anywhere. That was only 4 miles away.

  35. Melanie
    2:55 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Anyhoo, before I started whinging, this is from Golinka.

  36. Melanie
    2:56 pm on December 8th, 2013

    It’s called
    Flat Tire In Alaska.

  37. Herd of Hounds
    2:58 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Melanie; perhaps we should dress you up before we take you out!

  38. Herd of Hounds
    3:00 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Gosh! Flat tire…umm, in Hawaii the girls hold the car u p while the guys change the tire. Looks easier than changing the pooch!

  39. Herd of Hounds
    4:02 pm on December 8th, 2013

    More rain! Gah! Feel like we should grow fungus between toes, under arms and legs, in all body folds…oops TMI.

  40. Riö - The Evil Pug
    4:05 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Shudder!….I am on the map where it say -1….grump!… We were upstairs all morning and afternoon because my friend HAD to finish some projects for my pal Rose…heh!heh!….Rose, good news. She finally finished. But they have not been packaged (another ordeal) or mailed yet…grunt!

    Tree!…Now we are downstairs. I am watching someone put up a little Christmas tree…yippee!….She bought a whole special bunch of little sparkly, yes said sparkly, balls to hang on the tree, but alas they did not come with the little wire hooks to hang them…grump!…So guess what someone is going to have to make?…wheeze!…A bunch of little wire hooks out of her crafty stuff…sniff!…This could take the whole football game before she is finished…wheeze!

  41. Barb & Maggie
    4:07 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Reading another Christmas book that take place in Seattle. The last 3 books we have read took place in Washington state. This is a Debbie Macomber book called Christmas Letters.

  42. Tupper's Mama
    4:27 pm on December 8th, 2013

    The show is winding down and on its last legs. Very little business, lots of tire kickers.
    Looking forward to home and cuddling Corgis and Kats

  43. Melanie
    4:49 pm on December 8th, 2013

    I always KNEW there were Aliens!

  44. Teddy Ruff Rider
    4:50 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Hey guys and gals. There is there incredible white stuff here falling from the sky. My dad says its something called snow. And boy is it fun to play in! Dad even took a photo of me playing in the snow. We’ve had a couple of inches now, although its starting to turn into this ice stuff, which isn’t nearly as neat.

    Oh yes, my dad said he was in awe of HRH B’s reference to Jefferson Airplane, even in the plural rather than the singular.

  45. Wose
    4:54 pm on December 8th, 2013

    RIO! I am glad to hear your friend had a good time at the party last night! And please thank your friend for me. Tell her not to forget the bill, either.

    DIMA: I am so happy to hear you are doing well!!! WoooooooooooHooooooooo,

  46. Kat
    4:56 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy, I am having the very BEST time ever! No flat tireshere. No sir!

  47. Wose
    4:58 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy, That is a great picture of you! We do not have any snow yet, but I love to play in it. You are getting so big!

  48. Wose
    4:59 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Kat, I wish you, Teddy , and me could all play in the snow together!!!!

  49. Riö - The Evil Pug
    5:05 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rose!…Someone here just finished putting the finishing touches on my little tree…snort!…Last to go on were the Gold Star and then two little gold sparkly (cough!) balls and then the very special Rockies ornament you sent me last year….chuffle!snuffle!snort!…It looks great!

  50. Riö - The Evil Pug
    5:06 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy!…O’ Holy Crap!…snort!…You are getting so large….wheeze!….When do you think you will stop growing, hmmmm?…sniff!

  51. Barb & Maggie
    5:10 pm on December 8th, 2013

    I just cam back in from the backyard and I had so much snow on me that Barb had to take a bath towel and give me a rub down.

    We were happy to hear that Fern was able to get out in the yard for some social time today. Maybe Helen will not keep picking on her if she gets re-adjusted to her being out with them.

    Barb is making roasted baby back pork ribs with potatoes and sauerkraut. The house smells like onion and garlic, which means it smells good!

  52. B. Stover
    5:12 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy RR: There is only one word for you: adorable.

  53. Barb & Maggie
    5:22 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy is growing up to be an especially beautiful Golden. How much do you weigh now Teddy?

  54. Teddy Ruff Rider
    5:27 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Miss B — you are making me blush (whatever that is).

    Rio/B&M — I think I still have another 25 to 30 pounds to go before I am fully grown. I am probably somewhere between 55 and 60 pounds right now.

  55. Herd of Hounds
    5:31 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy Ruff Stuff: Wowser are you getting to be one handsome dude!

  56. Wose
    5:37 pm on December 8th, 2013

    RIO! It makes me very happy to know that Rockies ornament is on your tree.
    I will be a Rockie fan with you, and Siber-H next season.

  57. Riö - The Evil Pug
    5:39 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy!…snort!…That is almost one Beau(fatty!) before you are a full-grown Agent…heh!

  58. BearSpiritDog
    5:46 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Teddy RR: You are looking Especially Handsome today.

  59. Beau - The Black Pug
    5:48 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Sneeze!…Oh My Tail!…snort!…Our kicker, Prader, he just kicked a record breaking 64 yard perfect field goal…wheeze!sneeze!….twirling!yeeeeping!farting!…still twirling!

  60. Beau - The Black Pug
    6:08 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Score!…Sneeze!…Dose Broncos are finally ahead for da first time in the game…snuffle!…Dem Tennessee guys are serious, dey must have been practicing in a freezer on a mountain all week long…eh!heh!heh!…sneeze!

  61. Wose
    6:12 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Beau, Go Broncos!

  62. Beau - The Black Pug
    6:16 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Sneeze!….Rose, dose Broncos are coming back strong….snuff!…Da have dose Hill Billie guys on da run now…eh!heh!heh!…sneeze!

  63. Herd of Hounds
    6:44 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Thank dog for the internet. Mom spent a lot of time trying to think of the 1970’s cartoon sidekick dog that LOVED cookies. Turns out it was Quick Draw McGraw’s pal Snuffles. The 14 second clil she found did the same moves she was showing Old Fart and Boarder in the Basement.

  64. Masquers
    6:46 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Beau: SF is leading by 2 in the 3rd quarter. Where’s that couch cushion.

  65. Riö - The Evil Pug
    6:53 pm on December 8th, 2013

    HoHo!…It must be comforting to know your insanity is backed up by old cartoons…sniff!

  66. Melanie
    6:57 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Oh, Teddy Pup
    Oh, Teddy Pup
    How lovely are your features.

    Your eyes as sweet as candy drops
    Your ears formed so perfectly.

    Oh, Teddy Pup
    Oh, Teddy Pup
    How lovely is your playful soul.

  67. Riö - The Evil Pug
    6:57 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Maskers!…You can have my couch cushion…heh!heh!…Tennessee is way behind right now…chuffle!…Beau is twirling and farting…sniff!…More farting than twirling actually…wheeze!

  68. Herd of Hounds
    7:00 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio, my insanity is backed up by many things, BUT it is not puggled up :) Ask Snuffles.

  69. Riö - The Evil Pug
    7:01 pm on December 8th, 2013

    OoooOOoooOOoMelanie!…How come you never sing a sweet song about Me!Me!Meeee!…sniff!

  70. Kat
    7:10 pm on December 8th, 2013

    I am done played out. Good night. Snow, Please be here when i wake up.

  71. Masquers
    7:34 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Well…that didn’t end well…I can hear Wolfie howling from here.

  72. Staff
    7:44 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Macy the two kats want the tree/kat house that you posted the picture of earlier.

    We did put up our tiny tree yesterday. Today I brought down all the interesting packages that Dawson left last September. It is starting to look a lot like the Holidays around here.

    Teddy you are looking like one very smooth rider. Nothing rough about you at all!

  73. Riö - The Evil Pug
    7:59 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Packages!…Wow! The awesome Dawson shops one year ahead just so Staff and AbbieTheKat and Alice and Mr.Staff can have presents the next year….Zow!

  74. Tenzing
    8:04 pm on December 8th, 2013

    My Lady hopes to be on the blog later tonight, but for now, Rio please check your SDD.

  75. BearSpiritDog
    8:09 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Tenzing: Please tell your Lady to get some much needed Rest.

    Staff: Dawson may not be celebrating at her house, but she made sure You are.

  76. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:20 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Mr Tenzing!…sniff!…Ok, ok. I’ve checked my SDD…grunt!…Hopefully Rebecca will be able to post later, if not I hope she is sleeping soundly with a large empty glass of water on her bedstand…wheeze!

  77. Melanie
    8:22 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Riö, I need to think . . a great deal . . does it have to be sweet?

    Talking about games. I was sitting in the family room with the Patriots game on figuring I wasn’t really watching it because I was reading.
    Gave up in disgust with two minutes left.
    Talked to OTAS about an hour later . . THE PATRIOTS WON!
    They made two touchdowns in the last two minutes.

    OTAS has asked me to never watch a game again.

    Better today. But I look forward to sleep. If I’m not back?
    TTFN

  78. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:27 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Melanie!….sniff

    Patriots!…Melanie, no matter what your beloved son says, you MUST watch every Patriots game from now on. YOU MUST…snort!

  79. Barb & Maggie
    8:37 pm on December 8th, 2013

    We have been watching many, many Christmas movies. May watch Bonnie and Clyde at 8:00. Anyone else watching it?

  80. Herd of Hounds
    8:37 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio: Nobody must do anything! got it? ok.

  81. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:40 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Nope!…Beau and I are pretty damned sure Melanie must watch all the Patriots games till the play-offs are over…sniff!…And that is that…heh!

  82. Herd of Hounds
    8:40 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Goloinka and storyteller: Hope you get home safely storm will be there soon,

  83. Staff
    8:47 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Bonnie and Clyde is the movie that made me decide to not go to any movie that was violent. That ending was horrible. I am too easily influenced by movies. I felt sick for days. I am a gentle soul…cough cough cough. Anyway there is no way I will watch another version of that icky movie.

    Rio, We sisters are all pretty much the same about Christmas. We find gifts for family and send them when we get them. If we hold a gift until the holidays we usually forget to send/give it. (((BIG SIGH)))
    Occasionally we will find gifts around Christmas time. But if we don’t we do not go out shopping just to have a gift to give. We are too cheaplazy for that I guess.

    Mr.Staff is the other way. He has to have a gift to give. The gift itself does not mean anything but you must have a package to open whether or not you want/need/like it.

    I buy him my gifts and he wraps them. (Or sometimes I wrap them) This year I told him he could buy me lined twill pants from LLBean and give them to me for Christmas. As soon as it got cold I started wearing them. If I know him he will take them out of the dirty clothes bin and wrap them up….

  84. Buddy and Leno
    8:55 pm on December 8th, 2013

    So, hi guys….I got my browser fixed. Well, actually, it wasn’t the browser, it was some other thingy, but finally it’s working the way it’s supposed to, so, yay, I can read everyone’s comments again :)

    Except, I really need to catch up.

    But wanted to let everyone know that I didn’t get run over by a truck, didn’t fall off the train, didn’t get on the wrong train and go somewhere else. We made it home after a huge delay. The 1:35 AM arrival turned into 5:30 AM, and with me being even more unhappy with our local cab company, who told me to call back when I was at the station, when i was just 7 minutes out, and when I called, they said “30 minutes or less”. Why they couldn’t have said that when I was 7 minutes out, I have no idea.

    Anyway, it was a great trip. I met interesting people and got some good audio, including an informal chat over dinner with this Korean government official. Yeah, all about the networking. I got the sound seeing tour of the Seeing Eye, including interviews with the supervisor of the puppy program, the person who sorts out training and stuff, an interview with the training supervisor, another brief one with the person who does admissions, and of course with the President. I actually was honored to hang out a lot with Mr. President, he and his wife put me up (or maybe put up with me) for a night. Leno had a great time with their two Seeing Eye™ dogs, Vegas and Pixie, both GSD’s. And Vegas had a great time stealing some of Leno’s dinner, so it’s a good thing i packed extra. And sheps are supposed to be finicky…I think Vegas might have some lab in him, if not in genetics, perhaps in spirit. Super good times.

    The only couple small downsides were that I couldn’t get a tour of Madame Tussaud’s and also no tour of Rippley’s Believe It Or Not…no extra staff, and it was a self-guided tour. That wouldn’t have been very good for me. But we did go to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. And we got lost in Times Square. Or is it Time (singular) square? Heck if I know. Whichever it was, we got lost there. But we got to where we were going, and weren’t even late. Oh, and I didn’t walk back to my hotel Wednesday evening, partly because we walked all day pretty much, but mostly because we didn’t really want to get lost in the crowds around 42nd/43rd/Broadway again, especially not at night. So we took a cab, and got stuck in the traffic jams and detours caused by the Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center.

    And again, let me just say that New Yorkers are fantastic. Wellapart from the “that way” people. I ran into several folks who helped me get from one train to the next, from train station to hotel the first night, and generally unlost. Oh, and also maybe saved me from getting run over by a truck, except I think Leno would have done that had the person not grabbed me first (scaring the !@#$%^!!!!! out of me in the process). Speaking of, Leno was a real trooper. Going from little ol’ Erie, PA and being dropped into the mayhem of the big city was probably quite the culture shock for him, since he hadn’t done that stuff since his training days at least three years and some ago.

    Anyway, yep, still alive and kicking. Didn’t check in because of the problem I just got worked out :) Else I would have. See y’all tomorrow!

  85. TMG
    8:58 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Oh stinky pug oh stinky pug
    In stench you are the winner.
    Oh stinky pug oh stinky pug
    No matter what your dinner.
    You break the wind
    Without a care.
    Your essence overwhelms the air.
    Oh stinky pug oh stinky pug
    No freshener can withstand it.

    heh-heh

  86. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:09 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Staff!…oh. oh. oh. My friend is in such a dilemma this year….grunt!….It seems like you may or may not understand her predicament….sniff!…For as long as she can remember, she has always bought very thoughtful, and abundant gifts for everyone. Yet, each year she comes away with gifts that are very odd, or gift cards. Gift Cards are the bain of Christmas giving in her mind. How much thought does it take to pick up a gift card at the grocery store and say, “my Christmas shopping is done”…..grump!

    Mother!….Yesterday, for many years in a row now, her mother handed her a check for 50.00 and told her to go buy your own gift. This pretty much was the tip of the top of it for my friend. She threw the check back at her mother and told her to stick it up her @ss, in so many words….heh!heh!….She said if you can’t be “bothered” to think about a gift you would like to buy me, then buy me nothing at all. (bitch!)…grump!…the “bitch” part was me…heh!heh!….Anyway, here is what my friend is going to give her mother for Christmas this year instead of thoughtful, beautifully wrapped gifts. She is going to give her a simple Christmas Card with five 10.00 bills innit…heh!…How fun is that MAW? How fun is that? …gruffle!….Needless to say, there has not been much conversation in this house since the “check up your @ss” conversation …hehe!heh!

  87. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:13 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Hmmphf!…I’m still waiting for my song from Melanie…grump!…The TMG can you-know-what…gruffle!

  88. Staff
    9:24 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio…heh

    Refresh, then post. snicker

    I think I do understand about the 50.00 check. My Dad gives me a check for 100.00. I give him a pass on the buying thing. He would just have me buy it. The blind thing makes it difficult to shop.

    I spend it on Sewing machines during the year. HEH.

    Except last year (and I think it will happen again this year) he forgot. Christmas is on his mind, but not birthdays. Oh well.

  89. dawson
    9:29 pm on December 8th, 2013

    TMG: Snort!

    TeddyRuffRider: Melanie’s song to you says it all. You are gorgeous!

  90. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:30 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Staff!…The big difference is your Paw is blind, and cannot get around that easily, or at all…sniff!…Her mother is perfectly able to think about and go buy stuff (including a whole freakin’ house in Iowa) for all the other members of this family. Yet for the one who is here doing and doing and doing, she draws a blank over gift giving. …grump!…We are all packing our little knap sacks and bags to leave for good right now…grunt!…But it is too damned cold out to move anywhere. So, we will bide our time…..sniff!

  91. Buddy and Leno
    9:39 pm on December 8th, 2013

    The four words that are the bane of the blind shopper’s existence:

    We ain’t got that.

    Online shopping is the best thing ever for us. It means not having to either A) find some long-suffering friend to go shopping with us, or B) Find some random store employee who may or may not be helpful, may or may not know where things are, may or may not speak English, and on and on it goes.

    Christmas gifts are all right, but here’s the thing. I hate waiting to give gifts during the holidays. So if I find something that Melanie might like, she ends up getting it before often as not. I’m sort of on the “Why do we have to wait for some specific day” school of thought. Well, that and I worry that some thing may not be right. Or something. So she’s already got her iPad Air, and video magnifier, and case for said iPad Air, and, Bubba Gump hoodie, and now I have no idea what to stick under the tree for Christmas. Well, the good deal we got on bamboo sheets is coming. Who would have thought that bamboo sheets and towels could be so awesome anyway?

  92. Riö - The Evil Pug
    9:49 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Story!…I left out another part of the story that might explain my friends “Bah-Hum-Bed-Bug” attitude this season…sniff!…Her Sis-in-law, the one who NEVER cooks a holiday meal, and then proceeds to take home almost all of the left-overs of the meal my friend buys and prepares each year, sent her a long list of what “they want” this year….grump!spit!….Someone has had it up to HERE! with these people. …gruffle!grump!

  93. Buddy and Leno
    9:56 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Wow Rio, people are pretty amazing, aren’t they? And have lots of nerve. I hope your friend tells them where they can go! Just, wow.

  94. Barb & Maggie
    10:00 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Buddy and Leno, Glad you made it home safely. What a wonderful trip. Your are our heroes!

    Rio, Tell her to give her maw a sack of coal. Maybe she should stop doing for people who don’t appreciate it, at least for the next year.

    Bloody or not, we are going to watch Bonnie and Clyde. Don’t think Barb watched the last one. She may regret it later!

    Night all.

  95. Riö - The Evil Pug
    10:04 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Barb!…Well, it is a dilemma you cannot understand because you have a normal family…grunt!

  96. Macy the min-pin
    10:14 pm on December 8th, 2013

    If anyone here had $50 to spend they would think they were in heaven. All a matter of perspective I guess.

  97. Riö - The Evil Pug
    10:21 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Macy!…Seriously! Thank you very much…sniff!…It is far too much to expect 50 buck or even more from each person….grunt!…I myself, think the funniest and funner(?) gifts cost way less. Like, take for instance the Lotto Bean …heh!heh!…I ordered some of those from a catalog. Once they are full grown a lottery number is “supposed” to show up on a leaf!..Now isn’t that a fun, cheap gift?…heh!heh!…Maybe most do not share my sense of fun “giving”, but there you have it….sniffle!

  98. Riö - The Evil Pug
    10:23 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Sniff!…I am pretty sure Macy will never talk to me again about gift giving…grunt!…But I still love the Lotto Bean!…heh!heh!

  99. Tupper and Gilly
    10:27 pm on December 8th, 2013

    MAMA’s HOME! They are both home safe and sound from the show. Mama says she drove like a bat out of you know where because there was a winter storm warning out and they said the roads would get bad very quickly. So that was how Mama drove – very quickly. The storm held off, and the roads were dry.
    The Storyteller slept most of the way, and when they got home, he looked at the clock in the van, and gave Mama a look.
    Anyway, they came in the house and cuddled us and then went back out to unload the van – and lo and behold, the driveway was covered with the snow that had started just minutes before.
    Heh heh heh

    Buddy and Leno – great trip, great reporting and welcome home.

    Rio – tell your friend that we all love her, sand appreciate her. We think she should give her mother something that your friend would like – like a paper cutter to do her twirling paper, or a pretty sweater in your friend’s size.
    As for the SIL that grabs all the leftovers, give her a set of cheap plastic containers, with a note that she might as well bring these along the next time she comes for a big family dinner.

    tee hee – we are just rotten, aren’t we?

  100. Riö - The Evil Pug
    10:32 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Heh!…Actually, that gift idea about the cheap plastic containers is a really good idea, cuz she not only takes our food, she takes our containers too…grump! (((bitch))…it is my new word lately…sniffle.

  101. Riö - The Evil Pug
    10:33 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Golinka!…I am glad you got everyone home safe and sound before the snow fell…wheeze!…A job well done!..snort!

  102. Tupper's Mama
    10:37 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio – The Storyteller said he didn’t know his honkin’ big van could go that fast.
    heh heh heh

    As Rebecca says, Mama drove it like she stole it. It really is a wonder that her picture isn’t posted in every police station on the highway.

  103. Staff
    10:48 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio, I enjoyed the story about your SIL who gave you a list. Who the hail gives an adult sibling a list? I have never encountered that before.

    My mother-in-law was one of those passive aggressive types. I had never encountered her kind before. My family says what they think or they don’t talk about it. I remember talking to her daughter about my confusion about what her actions. One of her hints was to bring my own containers for leftovers. My MIL would have conniption fits about the leftovers every year. She ‘wanted’ to give us leftovers but never had the ‘right’ containers. It was maddening.

    I never did really understand if she really didn’t want to give them to us or was just unable to make a decision. The containers were perfect. She was speechless. heh heh heh heh heh.

    I think it would work for you that way also. And another hint. Just ignore the fricking list. Totally. Nope not doing that.

  104. Staff
    10:53 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Amalia I was worrying about you driving home in the storm. I was thinking it had arrived already. Glad you flew home. Nice to have you safe and sound.

    Earlier someone posted that they hadn’t received the address of the person who won their auction offering. I haven’t either but it could be that the winner’s check has not arrived yet. I know I only paid mine yesterday so it wouldn’t have gotten to my person yet. (Melanie)

    Nighty noodle y’all. This is going to be a busy week here on the old homestead. Better rest up.

  105. Riö - The Evil Pug
    10:55 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Staff!…You would have to be here to believe it…heh!…My friends SIL takes what she wants, no questions asked. It would be a BIG ole BLOW-OUT if someone (got drunk enough) to stop her…heh!heh!…Actually I am hoping for that drunken day to come…snort!..YeeeHawww! The fur would fly!…gruffle!…But to keep the Peace, my friend just watches her – and fumes. …sniff!

  106. Tupper's Mama
    11:02 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio – your friend should not fume. To fume is bad. Much better to have fun with it. It will be better for her karma too.

  107. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:07 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Fun!…You say?…snort!…Get this. The SIL food smuggler has not prepared a holiday meal in over 15 plus years…grunt!…Suddenly out of the clear blue todau she has invited us to come to Christmas dinner this year…wheeze!… My friend will be taking all kinds of plastic dishes along and scooping up all kinds of inedible food just for the FUN of it…heh!heh!…Ironic.

  108. Tupper's Mama
    11:12 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio – don’t be surprised if the Food Smuggler serves your friend oodles and boodles of familiar looking leftovers.
    tee hee

    Oh well, Mama says we have to go to bed now – g’night everyone.

    G’night Rio’s Friend – we love you

  109. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:14 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Tupper!….snort!…heh!

  110. Staff
    11:21 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Rio’s friend and Amalia, Just think if both your strange families got together for a holiday meal. Goodness!

    I agree with Tupper. If you can laugh at them it will be much better for you.

    And please have your friend tell us what happens at this amazing holiday meal!

  111. Staff
    11:22 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Pearl up top on one side and Masquers (Halloween cat) and Bear on the other.

  112. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:24 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Staff!…Go to your warm soft bed…sniff!

  113. Riö - The Evil Pug
    11:28 pm on December 8th, 2013

    Bed!….Speaking (yeeeep!) of bed, we now have the idea in our heads to head upstairs to our warm soft beds…heh!heh!…Beau is already up there stinking up the whole room…gasp!…What is wrong with that guy anyways…grump!gasp!

  114. Macy the min-pin
    11:36 pm on December 8th, 2013

    We each buy one $20 gift and play the gift trading game. We don’t have any little ones, and last year was the best in a long time. Of course, it snowed too, so that really made things nice.

  115. c.hobbit
    12:32 am on December 9th, 2013

    Gifts {{{sigh}}} I buy during the course of the year so that I don’t have to fight the holiday crowds. However, I cannot find my bin of gifts that I packed and moved to Anchorage. I’ve run out of ideas of places to look so I am warning my friends that my gifts very, very, very late. Earlier this fall I went to the Iditarod store and bought lots of stuff to put in my Christmas cards to the Plunderers. Can’t find that shopping bag either. Sometimes it is hard being me.

    Rio: your friend needs to make less food so there won’t be any leftovers (or hide the good stuff for your friend and her mom to have the next day).

    My sister announced a couple of years ago that she will not buy gifts for anyone but the grandchildren as she finds it so stressful. I was a bid sad to hear it since she is my only family but I usually treat myself to a nice gift anyway so it is ok. Actually some of the neatest gifts I’ve received are those we have put a dollar limit on–makes for creativity and/or watching sales and coupons!

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