Chetspeak on Sunday

“I think my boyfriend is cheating on me.”

We should have walked away at that very moment, me and Bernie, or better yet run, our tails between our legs. Not so easy in Bernie’s case, since, maybe like you, he’s stuck with living a tailless life, poor guy. Imagine that! Actually, I can’t. The good news is that I’ve got enough tail for two, a strong, bushy, pleasing-to-the-eye tail that even has a mind of its own. Sometimes it wags me! Or just about. I’m not so easy to wag, being a hundred-plus pounder, and strong for my size, Bernie says. And not just Bernie: ask some of the perps up at Northern State Correctional, although they may not have time for chitchat, what with being so busy breaking rocks in the hot sun. The point is we’ve taken down lots of perps here at the Little Detective Agency. Bernie’s last name is Little. I’m Chet, pure and simple.

This customer with the cheating boyfriend problem did not look like a perp. What she looked like was the kind of woman who has a certain affect on Bernie. A lock of her golden hair – mostly golden, that is, the roots telling a darker story – drooped down over one eye and she flicked it back into place with a little shake of the head. That got Bernie’s attention, big time. Why? I just didn’t understand.

– from TAIL OF VENGEANCE (the 3rd C&B e-short – many ways to get it; you don’t need a Kindle!).


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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 31st, 2016 at 8:28 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

45 Responses to “Chetspeak on Sunday”

  1. Herd of Hounds
    8:52 am on July 31st, 2016

    Good morning, everyone! “Stuck living a tailless life” 🙂 Love this Chetspeak!
    Happy Egg Day to all.
    A sunny(ish) summer Sunday to all.

  2. B.Stover
    9:12 am on July 31st, 2016

    Good morning Chet and all.

  3. Linda
    9:32 am on July 31st, 2016

    Good morning everyone. Love Chet’s explanations.

  4. dawson
    9:44 am on July 31st, 2016

    Oh, to have a big bushy tail that could wag me, what a life I would have!

    But can it get any better than this?

    I’m looking towards BearSpiritDog’s place:

    Good morning all.

  5. Wose-the small and meek
    9:49 am on July 31st, 2016


    I am laughing at this Chetspeak! I love Chet’s description of the woman’s “mostly golden hair” and “the roots telling a darker story.” And I always laugh at the mental image of perps “breaking rocks in the hot sun.”

    I am also laughing at The Royal Mum’s (aka The Tent Killer) posts from yesterday.

    RIO! I woke up this morning thinking about your friend Pepper. Your post last night about your walk has me wondering if Beau is a ladies man…

    Friend of the Month tomorrow, and Mama Luna and the very sparkly Belle Starr on the August calendar page!

    Good Sunday to all!

  6. Wose-the small and meek
    9:50 am on July 31st, 2016

    Awesome: What a spectacular photo!

  7. Barb, Maggie & Angel Lucy
    10:03 am on July 31st, 2016

    Good Sunday morning greetings to all and Happy ChetSpeak. The kind of woman who has a certain affect on Bernie. Heehee.

    Do we have new names for A & L? The Storyteller and now The Tent Killer?

    My ceramic tile guy blew me off again, third and last time. He didn’t bother to call me to say he would not be arriving tomorrow am. When I called him to confirm, he said his truck broke down. At what point was he going to let me know? Either he doesn’t want to do the job, or he has issues. He didn’t suggest rescheduling, so I told him I would contact him at some point in the future, and thank you very much. NOT!

    Attending a baby shower today. A friend’s son and S.O. are expecting a little girl end of August. Should be a fun afternoon. Adopted son is biracial, girl friend is Hispanic. I am thinking this little girl is going to be super cute!

  8. BearSpiritDog
    11:04 am on July 31st, 2016

    Sunday Chetspeak/Egg Day and here we are…but Bright-eyed and Bushy-tailed…we are NOT.

  9. Barb, Maggie & Angel Lucy
    11:08 am on July 31st, 2016

    Dawson, Is your vacation winding down?

    My gift for the shower has not arrived. Tracking says it will be here tomorrow morning. Great!

  10. Wose-the small and meek
    11:15 am on July 31st, 2016

    BMAL: What a Murphy’s Law kinda day you are having!

  11. Masquers
    11:26 am on July 31st, 2016

    Dawson! Here’s looking at you. Amazing foto looking out from your island to ours.

    BMAL: Gah. Between the no show contractor and late gift delivery, it is not an auspicious start to the week.

    But thanks to Rose, and our very own Plunderer calendars, we no longer have to agonize over FOTM. One less worry!

    Wishing continuing great sales for T&G’s folks so they can pay for that new tent. Heh.

    Have a good one, Blogsters and Lurkers all.

  12. Wose-the small and meek
    11:40 am on July 31st, 2016

    Masquers: Such a pointy head I have! I never thought of the Plunderer calendar as a FOTM calendar!!

  13. Barb, Maggie & Angel Lucy
    11:59 am on July 31st, 2016

    Well, I am looking at the bright side here. Josh told me he will do the ceramic floor for me in late fall for a very reduced price. Yes, Josh knows how to install tile, too! I can throw a few bucks at him and we both will be happy.

    Secondly, the late gift arrival means that instead of trying to wrap a large heavy box, I am going to take a print out of the gift and stick it in their card. Later I will drop the gift off at the parent’s house and they can deliver it to them. Win, Win!

  14. BearSpiritDog
    12:32 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Magpie&AngelLucy: Talk about Positive Thinking! Barb took a Lemony sort of situation and Turned it into Lemonade.

    Hey! What happened to the morning sun? I guess it’s okay for getting some things done, but who wants to work. I want to play!

  15. Staff
    3:02 pm on July 31st, 2016

    A lazy afternoon for the pronghorn antelope.

  16. c.hobbitz
    3:20 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Things are always hopping at the Hobbit Hotel
    I went to feed the new pregnant foster kitty. She was in a bedding box under the bed. I pulled it out and it looked like she had caught a mouse between her paws and was licking it prior to taking a bite. I was going to rescue the mouse and then I put 1+1 together I realized that it was a kitten. I AM A MOM! Only one and it has been hours.
    Here we thought she was in the early stage of pregnancy. I fear that the stress of the rescue, having guests, a military air show featuring the Blu Angeles flying overhead and the fireworks might have pushed her into labor.

  17. Wose-the small and meek
    3:46 pm on July 31st, 2016

    BMAL: Yay!

    CHobbitz: Congratulations! What a lovely photo! And the little kitty…Awwwww!

  18. dawson
    3:53 pm on July 31st, 2016

    CHobbitz: Awe…congratulations to the new moms! What a sweet baby.,
    I would love to see the Blue Angels.

    BMAL: The vacation will not be over until the berry buckets are full.

    Wose and Masquers: The FOM calendar. I like that.

  19. Wose-the small and meek
    4:02 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Dawson: Those berries look goody, good, good!

  20. Zeus
    4:41 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Happy Egg Day, although sneaky Mom has moved our egg day back a day this week. She thinks we wouldn’t notice. Wrong!
    I had a bunch of comments to post as I was reading thru your posts, but now I forget them all. We here are in High Frazzle stage. Tomorrow is Moving Day. Meashka saw the egg go on top of the Sibaroo, and told us that means we are heading south to Ashville. She remembers that from a trip I didn’t get to take. I don’t think she’s right, but I never argue with her. No sirree.

  21. BearSpiritDog
    4:57 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Zeus! Moving Day Tomorrow! Please Keep Us Updated and take Photos!

    C.Hobbit: What a Tiny Litter! But very cute.

    Dawson: Those Berries Look Delish. It reminds us to go check on our Blueberry Crop.

  22. Wose-the small and meek
    5:07 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Zeusikov: Moving day tomorrow…Wow! Grizz and I send the very best wishes to youse all in your new home!

    I am watching the news and saw the terrible flooding that is going on in Maryland. Hoping that Teddy, his mom, and pop are safe and dry.

  23. c.hobbitz
    5:28 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Dawson takes the best photos. I was sick when I got back from my hiking trip in England and Wales so I didn’t do any photos. I may have to dig through the 800 on my phone and see if I have a couple to post.

  24. Herd of Hounds
    5:39 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Howlers, lucky you to get to move to your very own new digs tomorrow. Mom goes into the new “old” house to shower but cannot move in yet.

  25. Herd of Hounds
    5:46 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Has anyone else noticed that the prong horns horns are over their eyes and there is a dark stripe under their eyes and chins so it looks like they’re holding on the horns with ribbon? B. please note that our mom used all the “there/their/they’re” almost correctly!

  26. Diane C.
    5:57 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Happy Sunday Everyone–I just read C. Hobbitz’ hospitality saga–your patience and tolerance are far greater than mine (I guess that also goes for B, M and AL giving the tile guy a third strike).. I do like the name/title Tent Killer.
    Zeusikov–Try to stay calm through the whole thing. This too shall pass.
    thinking of going to see Hunt for the Wilderpeople, but don’t want to overstimulate myself what with Sharknado 4 coming up (yes, sarcasm, but I’ll probably still watch to see if any variations on the Sharknado theme are possible). Wilderpeople is a slightly more serious thing–I’m a big fan of the director…

  27. Barb, Maggie & Angel Lucy
    6:52 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Back from the shower. The couple got a lot of nice gifts and there was an abundance of yummy, healthy food. There was also a cake with gooey frosting, but I passed on that.

    Good luck with the move tomorrow, Howlers. What a change you have in your future. Are the hens going down now or later?

  28. dawson
    7:37 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Howler’s: Safe travels to your new home.

  29. c.hobbitz
    8:01 pm on July 31st, 2016

    I wonder if I can get away with naming the kitten wtf.
    Mama cat ravenous but I’ve stressed her out checking on her. She is restless and changing positions. Might be laboring but I was advised to leave her alone for 3 hours. Kitten weighs 3.4 oz.

  30. Barb, Maggie & Angel Lucy
    8:22 pm on July 31st, 2016

    One kitten would be pretty unusual. Baby looks full size and healthy. I bet there will be more, and I don’t think WTF is going to fly. LOL

  31. Herd of Hounds
    8:23 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Wowser! Howlers moving, Hobbit has a kitten, T&G’s Mama has a new name, Barb has lots of adventures and we have BIG BOOMERS! Life is good!

  32. Herd of Hounds
    8:28 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Barb, T-Kat, our feral cat, had 1 kitty her first (and only) litter. But she is an unusual Kat!

  33. Staff
    8:44 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Wow! Hobbit has a kitten. I am green with envy. Henry will have to be kitten enough for me. He weighs over 11 pounds now but he still wants to creep around my neck like he did when he was 1.2 pounds.

  34. Herd of Hounds
    9:25 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Staff, Henry has turned out to be quite the kitty! Much more gentlemanly than when he was younger.

  35. dawson
    9:30 pm on July 31st, 2016

    All day I’ve been practicing flicking a lock of golden/grey hair back into place with a little shake of my head. Heh, heh.

  36. Staff
    9:46 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Here is my first ever selfie. This is what I wear to bed most nights….LOL

  37. Herd of Hounds
    9:47 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Dawson, the DDD says you’re a hoot!

  38. Herd of Hounds
    10:01 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Staff, he chuckled when I showed him your selfie.

  39. Tupper's Mama, the Tent Killer
    10:08 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Woo hoo – we are home – and we have decided that we are going to start every show with killing a tent! It may be our new good luck thing!

    Hobbit – congrats on the new baby! Any sign of any more on the way?

    Dawson – how beautiful!

    Howlers – happy trails!!!!!

  40. Mr Staff
    10:34 pm on July 31st, 2016

    When I read this I could picture Ms Staff-

    Breathing in, I wash the dishes,
    Aware of their usefulness in holding
    Nourishing meals that have sustained my family for many years.
    I wonder why it is always, always me doing the dishes
    By myself,
    And whether, interconnected as all human beings are,
    This may be the one exception.
    Breathing out, I release my feelings into the universe, ever hopeful that someone, somewhere,
    Will sense my need,
    And offer to help.
    I open my heart to the possibility of this miracle.

    from the current New Yorker

  41. Riö – The Evil Pug
    10:50 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Mr FireSlippers!…Are you not “helpful” in this area?…snort!…My friend was gone most of the day. Up to the mountains trying to enjoy herself…sneeze!…Next time it will be a different location…heh!heh!…But the mountains are still great apparently!

  42. Riö – The Evil Pug
    11:10 pm on July 31st, 2016

    Staff!…Wot the hell are you actually wearing?….grunt!…Part of a black bear?…sniff!

  43. Staff
    12:16 am on August 1st, 2016

    Rio, That is Henry. He likes
    to sleep on my head. Sometimes I wake up way too hot!

    I prefer not to do the dishes. Sometimes I do a few. Not often.
    Poor Mr.Staff. He has a hard life. Thank dog he has a TV for the times when he is not doing the dishes.


  44. Staff
    12:19 am on August 1st, 2016

    Mr.Fireslippers really liked that poem. He made me read it and laughed at me. hmmmm
    I can take anything as long as it doesn’t involve doing the dishes very often. Or at all.

  45. c.hobbitz
    12:44 am on August 1st, 2016

    Staff: LOL to Fireslippers.
    Still just one kitten. She was restless, shifting positions, squatting for quite a while so I thought maybe another was coming. But a cat rescue person stopped into check on things and she weighed the kitten. I think it stressed mama out. She was growling. So I left her alone for a long time. Now she is lying down and nursing and she purrs when I pet her.
    Went out for Mexican food and had a margarita. Busy day

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