Car Repair Fun
Did Melanie say something about flat tires down in the comments part yesterday? That reminded me of this. I think it’s from Thereby Hangs A Tail.
What was that? A funny little lurch?
“Uh-oh,” said Bernie. “Did you feel a little – ?” Then came a clunk, and another clunk, followed by a whole bunch of them, plus more lurching. The Porsche went all jerky, kind of stumbling to the side of the road like a human who’d had way too many.
We sat there, the engine going pop-pop, pop-pop. The bike grew smaller and smaller and finally vanished. It got very quiet, except for the pop-pop. Bernie’s hand curled into a fist; he had big strong fists and plenty of perps, gangbangers and bad guys had seen what they could do. He raised his fist as though to punch the steering wheel, something I’d seen guys – good and bad ones – do plenty of times; but then Bernie paused, his hand relaxing, and no punch came. That was one of the very best things about Bernie.
Out came the tools, and not long after that the manual, too. Nothing good ever happened when Bernie had his head deep in the engine. The wind fluttered the pages of the open manual, Bernie trying to still them with an oil-stained elbow, a tool in each hand. After a while, I couldn’t bear to watch, and took a little – what was Bernie’s word? – recon, that was it. I took a recon around the area, smelled the scent – froggy, toady, fishy – of a snake, but very faint. I followed the scent, lost it, circled around and picked it up again, and there, in the shadow of a big rock, I found – what? I wasn’t sure; some kind of strange snake, very pale, with no eyes at all, just nasty holes where eyes should have been.
“Chet! What the hell’s going on?”
I realized I was barking my head off and stopped. But then I caught sight of that eyeless head again, and maybe more barking started up. “Chet? What is it?” Bernie’s voice changed, stopped being irritated, not that he ever got irritated with me. “Find something?” He came over, saw the snake and laughed. Then – oh, no – before I could stop him, he reached down and picked it up. Snakes bite! Didn’t Bernie know about those fangs?
But this snake didn’t bite, just dangled in a limp sort of way from Bernie’s hand. “Only a skin, Chet,” he said. “Nothing to be afraid of – the snake got too big and shed it, that’s all.” For some reason I thought that was plenty to be afraid of, and hurried back to the car. I even considered lying underneath it, but then I heard something dripping from the engine.
Tags: Porsche, snakes, Thereby Hangs A Tail
This entry was posted on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 8:42 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
3:58 am on February 12th, 2010
Great idea Melanie – bringing up that car/tire thing!
I'd love to ride in a tow truck if I didn't have that queasy thing going on – have fun Newfs and Chet!
4:38 am on February 12th, 2010
Thanks Jenifer for your nice words, I'd love to come visit you sometime, but ah…..well, the ride might get kinda messy on account of what I just said earlier – hmmmm, I'll start stocking up on that crystallized ginger!
My head is spinning from the R/A/AJ soap opera – "Pugs & Purrs"
or as A & AJ would say "Purrs and Pugs"!
I'm gonna go lie down in the sun!
5:05 am on February 12th, 2010
Grumble!…I have that hair-on-the-back-of-my-neck-sticking-up-feeling right now….Snort!…I just know that A-Kat is sitting in a basement, tied up and gagged as we speak!….Gruff!…That was definitely Not A-Kat’s voice in her last post….GROWL!…. It was Alice Johnson’s voice!
5:08 am on February 12th, 2010
Nothing on cars from me, except I like riding shotgun, just like Chet. Some of you guys were asking about snow. Me and Mom live in northwest Illinois, where ever that it. I know it's not the Valley where Chet and Bernie live. I love to go outside for a little romp in the snow. It's up to my belly in some places. I don't mind the cold though, you might have noticed that I have a beautiful coat. Sometimes I like to give the snow a little bite. It makes my teeth go all cold, and then all of a sudden, it tastes like cool, delicious water, my favorite. Mom says she is glad we don't have as much snow as some of you do, because then we couldn't walk to the barn. I think she is sort of old for a human. Maggie
5:18 am on February 12th, 2010
Wookie!…You didn’t see Alice Johnson lurking around the power line before it came down did you?…snort!… Seems like all my agents are suddenly being targeted…Cosmo is sick and lazy, A-Kat is missing, Melanie has car trouble, you almost get fried…Shudder!… Alice is more evil than I first imagined…groan!…and that’s pretty bad.
7:41 am on February 12th, 2010
So glad to hear from Wookie and find out that all is okay (now at least…we guess fire and no power is not okay, but all well that ends well) And Wookie does have a gorgeous coat!!
How about WoJo? Anyone hear from him lately, He's been kind of quiet since Henry left.
8:01 am on February 12th, 2010
Wojo's granny here.
Wojo's mom (Rebecca) has been under the weather. Wojo would like to convince the big black cat – named Sirius (after Sirius Black in the Harry Potter books) to play. Sirius is not amused!
8:49 am on February 12th, 2010
I’m with you Chet. I hate snakes. I wonder if I can smell snakes too. There have been times, walking in the woods or a field, when I stop dead and the hair on the back of my neck raises up – because I “feel” that there is a snake nearby.
Of course, I could be delusional.
9:00 am on February 12th, 2010
UGH-BLECH-UGH…You were right Rio I WAS poisoned – just got back in from puking my guts out, ate some snow, had some ginger, now I feel better, it was CLOSE! I have some theories that I'd like to share, but I have more work to do on my report, will check back in, meanwhile…
Rebecca – hope you're feelin' better soon!
Diane, thanks for reporting in – I'm not surprised Sirius is wary, especially with all this Alice Johnson stuff, and now I'm worried about AKat, but more about that later. I'm just wondering if Sirius is not amused about his name either, because after all, Sirius Black's patronus is a DOG which is all about the DOG star! Just looking out for my fellow creatures…
Maggie, thanks for looking out for me! Rio's a big marshmallow under all that grump and gruff, you'll get used to him eventually! Tailwags!
9:28 am on February 12th, 2010
Hmmmphf!…Marshmellow!…how come everybody is picking on ME all of a sudden?…Grump!…
9:36 am on February 12th, 2010
Hey boys, I didn't mean to be snarly. All that talk about poison and puke sort of rattled my sensitive brain. And I'm not totally grown up yet, so I get scared sometimes. Cosmo, thanks for the inside scoop on Rio. I'll cut him some slack. Maggie
10:01 am on February 12th, 2010
PFC Wookie checking in. Thanks for all of the expressions of concern. We did have another power failure yesterday, but this one was a bit more dangerous. A 240 volt power line connecting to our house came down. It was smoking and sparking and left scorch marks in the snow. One of the trees caught fire, but it went out real quick. Thankfully, those good folks from PEPCO came (there was one guy in particular who who was a PEPCO supervisor who waited with us for four hours until the repair crew came) and by night we had power again and were save. And while the power was interrupted, fortunately the food supply remained intact — phew! In any event, my mom and dad and grandpa (he gives the best tummies in the world) are all safe and warm and with power restored. More to report later. PFC Wookie
10:05 am on February 12th, 2010
Just thought that the nation within the nation would like to take a moment to say good by to Fred Morrison who died. As you all know he was a pilot and inventor of the Frisbee. The first Frisbee was launched by Mr. Morrison in 1948. Hours of fun for canines and their 2 legged companions.
10:10 am on February 12th, 2010
MagPie!… if you can't stomache the stuff we talk about, then go back to the barn with your chickens…Snort!@*#
GRUNT!…Is Stover missing??…Snort!…where is that walking encyclopedia anyway??
10:20 am on February 12th, 2010
Yea! The Wookster is back. I was worried that something snow related had happened, but sparking wires and trees on fire? Good thing the food supply was okay.
10:37 am on February 12th, 2010
Yay Wooks is back and OK!
And Rio – don’t forget you were sick too, actually the first, hmmmm
Maggie, you do have a beautiful coat! Must be good against the cold like Wookie’s. Mine is really short, so although we hardly have any snow *sigh* it’s still freezing, gonna be 12 tonight – I’m getting out my snuggie and lying in the sun while it lasts.
Uh Oh, I’m feeling dizzy again……..
11:03 am on February 12th, 2010
Rio you are funny. I don't recall a last name for Colonel Bob in THAT, but another Col. Bob with a last name of "Case" would not be a satisfactory solution to the problem. (I like the marshmellow description.)
Diane: Cosmo said that the proposed screenwriter is the same person who wrote the screenplay for Hotel for Dogs, which I did not see. I hope Rebecca starts feeling better soon. I like the name Sirius for a cat even though it does refer to the Dog Star. (Sirius Black is one of my favorite characters in the HP series.)
I have to say that I like the looks of Alice Johnson–very intelligent and alert.
11:10 am on February 12th, 2010
Cosmo!…take it easy pal…grunt!…I think you’ve been poisoned!…Snort!…you will either Die a slow painful death…groan!… or recover if you can puke up enough kibble!…we are all rooting for you!
11:12 am on February 12th, 2010
Hmmmm, B. be careful, criminal masterminds are quite intelligent!
I'm worried about all these happenings…now Rebecca is sick too!
Now that I'm recovered, I'll share my theory – I'm worried that Although AKate said Alice J. is behind bars, there's a good chance she has help from the outside, probably far reaching to all our states. In other words AGENTS
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1266008987-DSCF0044.JPG[/img]
11:15 am on February 12th, 2010
ARRGGHHH – a key got pushed before I was ready – anyway, that's me with my dear sweet girl-next-door-neighbor Sweetie. I'd hate to think she's a double agent in cahoots with Alice J. I don't see any other explanation how her havoc wreaking could be so widepread. Now I don't know who to trust!
Watchout Abbie!
11:18 am on February 12th, 2010
RR – glad you're better and thanks for your hard work! Thanks for the low-down on Sirius, I like him already!
11:27 am on February 12th, 2010
Stover!…This is what Alice Johnson is going to look like after we capture her and strip her stripes off!…SNORT!… she will be useless to everyone after that!…Grunt!
Squirt!…opps!…I coughed and sneezed at the same time. Stover!…I agree that if changing Colonel Bobs name is the only thing pencil head can come up with…Snort!…then the third book may be a bit lacking…Grump!
[file ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1266010047-mad_cat.docx[/file]
11:38 am on February 12th, 2010
Crummy Software!…Snort!
CHET!…need tech support to remove the link please? HELP!SNORTSNORT!!
12:01 pm on February 12th, 2010
Hey Chet, I'm Maggie's Dad, last summer I had to protect my human Mom from a couple snakes, she freaks when she sees them. They were only bullsnakes, but they like to fake out eveyone by
shaking their tails against the weeds to make noise. Nice to meet you and I'm pretty proud of my little girl. Whiskey River and Mom
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1266012074-whiskey_good_profile.jpg[/img]
12:30 pm on February 12th, 2010
Wookie, glad you are ok. Be careful outside.
Cosmo, Thank you again, you are always so nice. Maybe you could wear a sweater or coat when you go outside. Can’t loan you mine, cause it’s permanently attached.
Rio, Try to be nice to Cosmo. He is very sweet.
12:38 pm on February 12th, 2010
MagPie!…what did I do?…Snort!
12:56 pm on February 12th, 2010
Alice Johnson can easily evade anyone who coughs and sneezes at the same time.
1:41 pm on February 12th, 2010
Wojo went out to play with my older son and his friend in the back yard, and when he came in it sounded for all the world like he was wearing high heeled shoes, the way the frozen ice in his paws was clicking on the wood floor. He had to chew at my hands a little when I took a kitchen towel to his feet, just to make sure I was doing it right and didn't take anything that was supposed to be there. Now he and I are in the office together. I'm working online and he's working on his bone.
1:42 pm on February 12th, 2010
Oh– Cosmo and Sweetie, you are so cute together!
4:06 pm on February 12th, 2010
Sirius is just about the most dog-like cat I’ve ever seen, so the name pretty much fits him. And he’s not averse to dogs– so long as they know their place in the family and don’t push it trying to get all playful and stuff.
Jeanne at Placing Paws Rescue received a very kind donation in the mail today, and it will help their fundraising efforts quite a bit. Me and my pulled muscles were tramping all over town early this afternoon with three squabbling kids in tow, delivering advertisements for an upcoming adoption event to various locations. Now I’m home and all I want to do is crash. Poor Wojo– he wanted to come in the car, but I decided the four of us were more than enough for one cantankerous van trip. Erg.
4:21 pm on February 12th, 2010
Stover!…I can do alot of things at the same time…snort!…whats your point?…Alice is Extremely Intelligent and Alert…grunt!… and possibley Dangerous.
Cosmo!…One look at Sweetie and I don't think you have anything to fear! …just be on alert!…grumble!
4:32 pm on February 12th, 2010
A better photo of Alice after she's been stripped of her stripes…in the near future…Gruff!
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1266028329-mad_Kat.jpg[/img]
5:37 pm on February 12th, 2010
Ohhhhh Rioooooo…..sugar pie…..honey bunch…my snorting little love pug…..
You know the staff would not allow me to hurt Abbie in any way. She is just fine. No basements or poisoning or any of that stuff. My you have a wonderful imagination.
However you are right. I have temporarily nudged Abbie off the laptop and taken over the posts.
I don't know HOW you figured it out.
We must resonate on the same frequency my little flat faced fancy.
Get well soon and we will get together to 'play some cards'
heh heh heh
Alice Johnson
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1266032230-small sexy alice.jpg[/img]
5:52 pm on February 12th, 2010
Hey, Rio? Feeling alright? I'M NOT!
I just figured everybody is sick and missing…. including Megan! She hasn't come bath- oooh look, there she is! Catchya later guys! Feel better and….get…….found…..
6:02 pm on February 12th, 2010
Oh yeah and tomorrow, I'll be officialy changing my name thing from Megan to Lexi. If I can remember. How much is eleven? Megan keeps saying that's how many more days untill my birthday. What a nutjob! Eleven? I blame school, like Megan, what do they teach her there?!
6:06 pm on February 12th, 2010
Oh Alice…Grrrr!…your true voice and feelings came out a few days ago…Grunt!…you let everything show and now you are trying desperately to make up for that Faux Paw (kind of like Spence)…Snort!..We will meet, or we will never meet…life is so uncertain…Faaart!!…
Snort!…I just want to know that A-Kat is 'truly' okay and you have not harmed her in anyway!…Growl!..if you HAVE hurt her, I hope you have given your soul to the God of All Creatures Great and Small – cuz your Ass is mine!
6:18 pm on February 12th, 2010
Lexi!…how old are you my dear??…snort…does your mother allow you to be on PG-Rated sited like this???…grrrr!… I hope she is looking out for your welfare…grunt!…there is Good and Evil at war here…Gasp!…and things could get rough little missey…snort! so be sure to ask your mom to read everything first before you sit down…your pal Rio. Gruff!
6:30 pm on February 12th, 2010
My goodness Rio! I am quite surprised. Alice Johnson just rushed out of here muttering to herself. At least she let me onto the computer for a bit. She seems upset about something. I know I will be staying out of her way for a while. I keep thinking about a cat scorned. If I were you Rio I would watch my back.
Good luck and I hope all the sickies out there start feeling better right away.
Stay warm fellows.
Your pal Abbie
[img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1266035339-abbie surprise.jpg[/img]
6:52 pm on February 12th, 2010
A-Kat!… WoW!..So glad to know you are okay and Alice was actually telling the truth about not hurting you…Snort!…Wookie was ready to go for her throat…he tracked her down and was right within reach…Snort!..I called him off at the very last second…grrr!… it was hard for him to not end it all right there… Snuff!… I totally understood his blood lust. He has settled down now, and is on his way home…whew!..we all had …a very close call today….
I just wish we could all get along….SNORT!….it is THE OLYMPICS for gosh sakes!….