On Sunday we do beginnings – taking a look at the first paragraph or two of a Peter Abrahams book, including those written under the Spencer Quinn moniker. Because we just saw a Christmas ad (and thought, “Isn’t it a bit early?”) we’re going to do the exact same tasteless thing! So here’s the start of Santa 365, one of the four Chet and Bernie short stories available digitally.

“There’s no Santa Claus,” Charlie said.

“Who told you that?” said Bernie.


“Who’s Esmé?”

“At school.”

“Well,” said Bernie, “everyone has their own opinion.”

“It’s not an opinion, Dad,” said Charlie. “It’s a scientific fact.”


“From a scientist.”

“Any scientist in particular?”

“Groucho Marx.”

“Esmé told you that?”


“Know much about Groucho Marx?”

Charlie shrugged his skinny little shoulders. “He was a scientist and he said there ain’t no Santa Claus.”

“What do Esmé’s parents do?”

“Drive her to school. Pick her up.”

“I meant for a living.”

“Like you’re a private eye?”

“Yeah. Like that.”

“I don’t think they’re private eyes,” Charlie said.

“Why not?”

“They’re rich.”


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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 29th, 2019 at 8:44 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

8 Responses to “Beginnings”

  1. B. Stover
    9:37 am on September 29th, 2019

    I like the explanation of why they are not private eyes.

    Good morning all.

  2. Wose-The Small and Meek
    10:36 am on September 29th, 2019


    HRH,B: I like that explanation too. It always makes me laugh! Santa 365 is my favorite C&B short story!

    Make it a good day!

  3. BooBear
    6:08 pm on September 29th, 2019

    Mom seriously needs to reread the whole Chet and Bernie series. Perhaps she will start with this one!

    Afternoon, friends!

  4. Riõ - The Evil Pug
    9:44 pm on September 29th, 2019

    Good Evening!…snort!….Someone baked artisan bread today and almost over-dosed eating most of one loaf…yeeep!…Granted she says she did not eat “much” today, so all is forgiven calorie-wise….grunt!…I on the other paw had to guffle about in the rain to do my business and got bad looks and a big towel thrown over me when I came back inside….grump!gruffle!Shake!

  5. Justin Savidis
    9:53 pm on September 29th, 2019

    Friend: I hope you saved some bread for me. I will blur right over for some fine dining.

  6. Riõ - The Evil Pug
    10:49 pm on September 29th, 2019

    Giant!…There will always be bread for youse here at my home…snort!snort!

  7. Riõ - The Evil Pug
    10:51 pm on September 29th, 2019

    Slim Jims!…On the other paw will not be readily available….sniff!

  8. Ole Doc
    11:33 pm on September 29th, 2019

    Identity! That last post was not from the Giant, but from me. The Giant does not know how to blur. He never mastered it. It’s okay. He brings other things to the table.

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