A Steven Wright Type Joke
“Familiar with Steven Wright, the comedian?” says Admin.
“Kind of like Rene Magritte only in stand-up comic form?” Spence says.
“If you say so,” Admin says. “Anyway, I thought of a Steven Wright type joke.”
“Shoot.”
“I forgot I was pretending to have Alzheimer’s.”
Welcome Buddy in an AZ asparagus patch, shotgun rider, Toby at the wheel.
Tags: Magritte, stand-up, Steven Wright
This entry was posted on Saturday, November 3rd, 2012 at 8:34 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
8:42 am on November 3rd, 2012
Good morning, all. We are sorry that we didn’t post an update on Shiek last night. Mom and Pop had an appointment, and this being Mom’s first foray off the farm post-Sandy, they decided to go to the Brit pub for dinner afterwards. They were home early, but Mom was so tired that she fell asleep.
Shiek is looking much better since the shots he got yesterday. He managed to eat a little grain and is no longer lying down. We will llet youse know how things go today. Thank you all very much for your concern and good wishes.
Nurse Meash is on the job.
9:17 am on November 3rd, 2012
Steven Wright? No but I’m familiar with Rene Magritte: “This is not a pipe.”
Good morning all
9:23 am on November 3rd, 2012
Good Morning B and Oleys!
So glad to hear Shiek is feeling better!
Everyone have a good day!
9:34 am on November 3rd, 2012
Good one, Chet…Forgot I was pretending to have alzheimers…Heh!
Hurray! Encouraging news about Shiek to start our day!
Good Morning O.Howlers, B, Wose and Everyone.
9:50 am on November 3rd, 2012
Here’s a link to the Magritte painting I mentioned. If you go to artcyclopedia.com and type his name in the search box, you’ll see more of his work. It’s fascinating. I especially like The Human Condition. The only Surrealist I like better is E.M. Escher.
http://www.usc.edu/schools/annenberg/asc/projects/comm544/library/images/336.html
9:54 am on November 3rd, 2012
I’ll tell that joke to my dad. He will like it.
Very glad to hear Shiek is doing better.
The swelling in my eye has gone way down. I kept telling mom this injury was not life threatening.
Dawson, How are you today?
9:55 am on November 3rd, 2012
Admin’s joke is similar to a Magritte painting.
Keats being quoted on the blog! I love it. It’s taken me back to “Endymion.”
10:06 am on November 3rd, 2012
Riö: B just reminded me to tell you how much I loved your Keats quote from last night.
B: Thanks for the link to the Magritte painting. Escher is also a big favorite in this house.
Siber: Very relieved your eye is okay. Thanks for reporting back so quickly.
Hi, Rose!
10:34 am on November 3rd, 2012
Steven!…Wright!…We here love that guy!…heh!heh!…Makes me chorkel just thinking about him. And Admin’s joke explains a lot…chuffle!
10:45 am on November 3rd, 2012
You’re welcome Masquers.
10:46 am on November 3rd, 2012
Here is some very encouraging news for the Nation Within from out Los Angeles way:
http://www.pawnation.com/2012/11/01/la-to-become-largest-city-to-ban-pet-shop-puppy-mill-sales
10:46 am on November 3rd, 2012
Love the Steven Wright type joke. One of our favorites: what uf someone broke into your house, stole all your stuff, then replaced it with things that looked just like your stuff?
Hey everyone. Nice sunny day here in the northeast.
Very glad to hear that both Sheik and Siber are doing better. Hope Dawson follows in that trend.
10:49 am on November 3rd, 2012
I don’t know either of those names…but I do appreciate the funny joke to start the day.
Endymion: Another name I do not know…must look up.
I’ve decided I have the flu. Chills and fever, sore all over, headache, chest congestion, sore throat and cough. The cough, though is the worst of it (and the chills) and that was helped by the cough medicine and having a water bottle near at all times so that I did get a good night’s rest. I will have a good days rest today too. I do have the option of going to “urgent care”.
11:04 am on November 3rd, 2012
Dawson, we were hoping that it was just a little cold and would be better this morning. Darn flu. Sorry to hear that. Rest is good.
Shiek couldn’t wait to get outside and eat grass.
We also like Steven Wright and his oldtimers joke. But we never heard of Magritte. Thanks for that link, Bee.
Bear, great news in LA.
Siber, we are happy your eye is getting back to normal.Today is storm cleanup day at the farm.
And we may have to drive all the way to New Jersey to get help to our cousin.
11:09 am on November 3rd, 2012
Dawson: Airborne would probably not have helped in this case. You could go to a walk-in-clinic, but problem is when one feels so lousy who can call up the energy reserves to go? Hope the man of the house is taking Good care of you!
I don’t know who Endymion is either. B?
Silly HerbKats!
11:17 am on November 3rd, 2012
Our flu clinics start this week but it is a little late for me. Now I don’t have to get a shot, right?
Airborne: I stay away from Airborne after I read a Scientific American article and saw that they were fined 23 million or so for deceptive marketing. Echinachea is what I use if I think of it at the time.
11:20 am on November 3rd, 2012
Endymion is an epic poem by
KatsKeats that Rio quoted a bit of last night.11:32 am on November 3rd, 2012
We love Steven Wright around here.
“Somebody stole everything in my apartment and replaced them with exact replicas.”
“I just invented the cordless electric cord.”
Too many others to mention.
My original Wrightism is “I can’t decide whether to procrastinate or not.”
11:38 am on November 3rd, 2012
Terry: That last one sounds strangely familiar.
11:47 am on November 3rd, 2012
Cutest video ever (ioo):
http://explore.org/#!/videos/player/panda-weekly-highlights-rise-and-fall
11:55 am on November 3rd, 2012
Howlers: Great video! Their world will never be that new again. Glad to hear Shiek is feeling better.
I had a client offer me a job in front of one of my bosses a couple of days ago. My boss was not amused. It was nice to feel appreciated by my boss and the thief.
12:05 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Spence gives an answer of thu it takes so long between books on facebookie. It mentions the alphabet, hedge hogs or something like that, and corks.
12:06 pm on November 3rd, 2012
“Endymion” is a long poem by Keats. It’s divided into four “books” and each book is about 1,000 lines. It’s based on the Greek myth of Emdymion, a young shepherd who was loved by the moon goddess. Keats dedicated the poem to Thomas Chatterton, a poet who died in 1770 at the age of 17, possibly a suicide. The Romantic Poets idealized him as the neglected artist.
12:07 pm on November 3rd, 2012
SnowBella: You have the best boss ever. Could this new guy top that?
OleyHowlers: If you go to NJ, bring gas.
12:15 pm on November 3rd, 2012
B: Thanks for the explanation. The Blog is very educational.
O.Howlers: My, how big those Pandas are! And different colorings too. Nice to see they have a roomy place to live and play.
The other videos in the link are also quite interesting.
SnowBella: At least your boss was reminded you are a very valuable employee.
Going to check out Chet on facebookie.
12:17 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Dawson: One word—no. I have three bosses and each are my favorite. People are lucky to have one good boss and I had three at the same time.
12:42 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Will catch up in awhile, but for now . . YSAS . .
Back at work today and Michael Emerson walked in. Matt calls me out say that he got me killed a couple Thursday’s back. Next thing I know we chatting it up about how I got killed in the show. Then talked about how the show will get back on schedule after the all this madness.
wow
12:48 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Back to bed for me. I just finished reading One Man’s Mountains by Tom Patey, a winter mountain climber with an excellent sense of humor and The Black Cat by Martha Grimes. Now I’ve started Germinal by Emile Zola, which is fairly depressing so I’ve got an Alexander McCall Smith book to balance it out.
12:52 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Melanie: I love Michael Emerson…sounds like he’s pretty nice, too.
Aaargh! I deleted YSAS! Last night I was going through the recordings on the tv and saw this old Person of Interest. I pressed delete before I remembered I was saving it forever because YSAS was in it.
1:04 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Who is Michael Emerson?
1:24 pm on November 3rd, 2012
B: I know, I know! Michael Emerson is an actor on Person of Interest. He also starred on Lost.
1:25 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Calling the Ivory Tower – Ivory Tower, come in please.
(Bee – Michael Emerson is an actor in Person of Interest. He is the bespeckled geek who invented “the machine”. He was also in Lost)
1:34 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Dawson: Don’t be swayed by the bogus (IMHO) lawsuit filed against Airborne a while back. As Mom’s Gramps is fond of saying: The proof is in the pudding.
Melanie: Does this mean YSAS will star in more episodes of POI?
1:36 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Dawson, What you are describing is what has been going around here in Ilinois. Sometimes goes to strep throat too. Barb has been around 2 kids and 3 grands with it, but is still healthy so far. Last night she did something she almost never does – took amoxicilian that we had in the medicine chest. Maybe that will help. Considering the flu shot this year, what with all these sickies around here.
1:50 pm on November 3rd, 2012
B&M: I don’t think I told you how beautiful your black cabinets look. Please post pictures when it is complete.
1:57 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Bear, if Google is to be trusted (and if you can’t trust Google, what can you trust), that there is a Terry original, dating back to 2005.
Gas hysteria continues unabated on Long Island. Since I’m retired and Donna is 12 minutes from work, we look to be good for at least a week for things to straighten out.
For those of you who live in someplace that is sane, here is a video I took yesterday – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7t2l7tNNnE&feature=share&list=UUfzVYdiy4nGULF4VUCGwwIw
2:47 pm on November 3rd, 2012
If it is has that is needed, they should visit Tenzing after he’s had a slim Jim.
2:48 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Gas not has that is needed. Gah! Damn Ipaw.
2:54 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Wondered what the Kat you were talking about, Bella.
OleyHowlers, saw your facebook page. ANOTHER storm? sigh. Now I’ve got to look it up for MA.
Okay, here’s a site for those who are interested in finding out about Michael Emerson.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0256237
3:03 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Terry: Are those cars running as they wait in line? What’s the update on your tree? Is is firewood yet?
Masquers: Pudding! That’ll cure me.
3:07 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Terry: Your last video reminds Someone here of the even/odd days in the 70’s. Employees were even allowed to leave mid-day to wait forever in a long, long line at the gas pump.
SnowBella: We always knew Tenzing could be counted on in a crisis. lol.
3:23 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Mr.Staff sent me this picture of the overnight precipitation and the winter “look” of the garden.
3:25 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Weird day. Still haven’t caught up on everything. Got up early, went to the v e t for meds, went to the grocery store. No lines until Starbucks. Jeeze Louise, and you can’t get out of the car line! I felt I had hit a wormhole and was in a gas line in NJ or LI.
My sister was here and we had a nice lunch. Went to the small elementary school where they were having a craft show for our Family organization.
Came home and have been trying NOT to nap.
Now it is time for “The Man with One Red Shoe”. A good (and early) Tom Hanks flick.
3:49 pm on November 3rd, 2012
T&G and Bear: You’re making me laugh. Thank you. I keep forgetting to watch Person of Interest and it is not on On Demand.
3:57 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Trivia note: Michael Emerson is best friends with fellow Lost actor Terry O’Quinn, who can now be seen Sunday nights on 666 Park Avenue.
Dawson: Happy to be of assistance. What kind of pudding would you like?
4:05 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Where oh where has that little Pug gone?
Oh where oh where can he be?
With his tail so curled,
And his snorts so gruff,
Oh where oh where can he be?
4:09 pm on November 3rd, 2012
B: We here know a lot of trivia but not much of importance.
Person of Interest seems to be one of the very few shows that is not ON DEMAND. Normally this wouldn’t be a concern, but with YSAS in an acting role and having to wait until Season 2 comes out on DVD, it is now a major issue.
Melanie: Love Tom Hanks in The Man With One Red Shoe! It has been years since we last watched it and would be fun to see again.
Tupper&Gilly: Twirling little bits of paper with his Friend no doubt. No, wait…his Friend is probably still at the Busy Place.
4:27 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Rebecca, I will post another pic of the kitchen later on, but may wait till the new counter top is installed in about a month. Goal is to have it done, plus kitchen, den and liv. rooms painted before knee surgery in Jan. Don’t think there will be any ladder work for a bit after that.
4:49 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Barb&Magpie: How long is the expected recup time after the surgery? You have a very ambitious project ahead and with the holidays coming up too.
Staff: Do you have snow in Mpls?
Melanie: Nap whenever you feel the need. Just ask the Pack.
4:58 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Home!…Someone is finally home after all her running around today…grunt!… All she did was spend money all day long. And what do I have to show for it? Kibble! And loads of it. Teaties, not so much….grunt!…She splurged on some joint greenies for ole Beau because of his wonky knees…sniff!grumble!
Marnie!…We are going to watch an old Hitchcock film called Marnie now…wheeze!…Tippie Hedren is one of our favorite old-time actesses…cough!
4:59 pm on November 3rd, 2012
I woke up this morning in Ellicottville to a snowstorm. It didn’t last long but it’s a start. Now I’m home with no snow, blue sky and sunshine.
5:02 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Sammie!…You sure get around..sniff!…Buts its always back and forth…heh!heh!
5:04 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Quote!…”Curiosity killed the Kat, but for a while I was a suspect.” Steven Wright
5:08 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Bear: What is 666 Park Avenue about?
I liked the movie Marnie.
5:08 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Quote!…”I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”
Steven Wright
5:19 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Quote!…”I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” – Steven Wright…heh!heh!…This one really cracks me up and I can’t even tell you why.
5:23 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Marnie!…I love how the main character (Tippie) thinks that coloring her hair is the perfect disguise…heh!heh!
5:25 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Dawson – the tree people came two days late, but I think they did a pretty good job. From what I understand, the people in line turn off their cars until they are actually called upon to move. We’re in a position to get through at least a week of this nonsense without buying any more gas.
I’d recommend the original French version of one red shoe. Hilarious, with a memorable sound track.
5:43 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Hi Rio! I like your SW jokes, and I especially enjoyed your poetry last night.
Siber-H, I am so glad that you are much better today.
Shiek, I am happy that you are feeling much better!
Awesome Dawson, tuck the quilt tight, and get better soon!
Belle Starr: I have a question. Is the puppy that your two-legged holding on the November calendar page you?
I was very sad to learn today that my friend Zelda the Gentle Giant has taken the journey to the Rainbow Bridge. sob!
5:46 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Airborn!…My friend would swear in a court of law that that stuff works….grunt!…Have you heard me complain about her having a cold or flu this year or last year at all…nope!…It’s because she takes Airborn when the first symtoms rear their ugly snotty nose…heh!
5:48 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Rose!…Hi!…snort!
Staff!…That photo looks like it could have been taken in January or February…wheeze!shudder!…I hate that stuff!
5:53 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Stover!…Just so you know, Marnie is a Free Movie ON DEMAND if you want to watch it….snort!….We are also going to watch The Man Who Knew Too Much, named after one of the Chet and Bernie books…chuffle!
6:04 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Thanks Rio. I may watch it tomorrow.
6:05 pm on November 3rd, 2012
We loved Marnie, probably our favorite Tippi Hendron movie. Hitchcock sort of ruined her career shortly after that.
Bear, It will be about 10 days from surgery till Barb will be back home. Then another few weeks of rehab. Doc said by 12 weeks she will feel pretty good, but to expect a full year till she is 100% normal. Probably no ladder climbing for 6 months.
6:14 pm on November 3rd, 2012
B: 666 Park Avenue is a modern day Gothic tale which takes place at an upscale New York Apartment building. A Midwestern couple hired as managers soon find themselves involved in more than they bargained for. Terry O’Quinn and Vanessa Williams star.
Hitchcock manipulated more than one of his “Girls”.
6:18 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Barb, may your knees feel decades younger!
Tippi Hedren . . I read Donna Andrews’ series with Meg Langslow. One of her books, “We’ll Always Have Parrots” has an actress that semi-retired and had a tiger preserve. I’ve always wondered if Andrews got the idea for that character from Hedren.
6:20 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Rio! What version of “The Man Who Knew Too Much” are you going to watch?
6:39 pm on November 3rd, 2012
I’ve been trying to get YSAS on 666 Park Avenue. No joy yet.
I was also going to say something else, but it’s gone . .
What was that joke this morning? I’m beginning to resemble that remark.
TTFN
6:48 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Walk!…We are back!…wheeze!…Its very nice out today so we did a long walk….cough!sneeze!
Version!…Rose, why of course we are going to watch the original version. What other version could there be by Hitchcock?…grunt!
6:55 pm on November 3rd, 2012
When I got back home today, I went prancing into the house. “Hi everybody, I’m home!” Dead silence because nobody was home to greet me and tell me how they missed me. Now you guys can see what kind of family I have to put up with.
7:01 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Quote!…”Would you like some bourbon to brush your teeth?” – Sean Connery – Marnie…chorkel!
7:22 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Here is one of the best collections of Steven Wright quotes. Remember – hermits have no peer pressure:
http://www.notso.com/wright.htm
Good night Chet.
7:23 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Rio! Didn’t. Know if you are watching the 1935 version with Leslie Banks and Peter Lorre, or the 1956 version with James Stewart and Doris Day. Que sera, sera…..
7:27 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Melanie, Will have to go to the library and look for We’ll Always Have Parrots. Loved the Donna Andrews book you sent to us.
Time to turn in. Night all.
7:34 pm on November 3rd, 2012
There is actually a HBO special feature now out about Hitchcock and Tippi Hendron. We only saw part of; it was quite good but a bit gruesome, especially the filming of the “scene” from The Birds. There is also a great line when she heard that Sean Connery would be starring with her in Marnie. Not a particularly favorable portrayal of Hitchcock though.
Wookie
7:39 pm on November 3rd, 2012
In what way did Hitchcock ruin Hendron’s career?
Thank you Bear.
7:47 pm on November 3rd, 2012
We are not that big on Steve Wright here, although the link that Terry posted was quite funny. They sort of reminded my dad of Tom Swifties, which were big in the 60’s and 70’s. Tom Swift never just said anything simply, but always with a descriptive adverb preceding it or following it (I think I got that right, didn’t I, B?). For example, ” I just got a new wool sweater,” Tom said sheepishly. My dad’s all time favorite though was “I just lost at Russian roulette,” Tom said absent-mindedly.
Wookie
7:53 pm on November 3rd, 2012
We are not that big on Steve Wright here, although the link that Terry posted was quite funny. They sort of reminded my dad of Tom Swifties, which were big in the 60’s and 70’s. Tom Swift never just said anything simply, but always with a descriptive adverb preceding it or following it (I think I got that right, didn’t I, B?). For example, ” I just got a new wool sweater,” Tom said sheepishly. My dad’s all time favorite though was “I just lost at Russian r-o-u-l-e-t-t-e,” Tom said absent-mindedly.
Wookie. (trying again; I just got moderated, maybe because of the gamboling term I used)
7:55 pm on November 3rd, 2012
We are watching The Time Traveler’s Wife a personal favorite of mine. Heh.
Good Night, Sleep Tight – Bear
8:08 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Bear,
Nope, no snow in Minneapolis. We did have a few flakes about a week ago but they melted when they hit the ground. There are a very few trees that still have leaves. Most of them are off though. It did get a lot colder this weekend, but no snow yet.
8:42 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Ha ha Wookie. “I dont like crocodiles” said Captain Hook off handedly.
8:44 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Wookie!…A Double-D Dawson on purpose!…heh!heh!
8:45 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Word!…OH my word those are funny Sammie and Wookie….heh!…I almost laughed, but I didn’t….snorkel!
8:53 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Career!…I’m also interested in how the great Hitchcock ruined Tippie’s career…sniff!…Seems like he made her career instead of ending it, but what do I, a mere pug, know about the doings of a great director and an actress…grunt!
9:14 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Evidently Hitchcock was interested in Hendron. When she refused his romantic advances, he kept her under contact, wouldn’t put her in movies, but wouldn’t let her go elsewhere for several years. She was basically in a lockdown. He was known to be quite controlling.
9:16 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Controlling!…I have no idea what that means…sniff!…Directing-wise Hitchcock can (could) do no wrong in my book, but as a man, he had serious problems being normal, whatever that is…grunt!
9:22 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Marnie!…We are still watching Marnie because someone got interrupted by a very long phone call…grunt!…She paused the movie so I could not watch it. Now we are watching it again and marveling at how the wardrobe is back in style…heh!…Beautiful suits, thin ties, the dresses and skirts are all very stylish…heh!heh!
9:24 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Tomorrow our time stamp on the blog will be correct.
9:44 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Sammie!…This time-stamp thing is very important to you, isn’t it?…sniff!…Why? Why does it matter what time stamp is on the blog?…wheeze!…I just figure everyone has been up 2 hours earlier than I have been each day until I go to bed 2 hours later than they did…heh!heh!…Unless of course, well never mind, it all gets confusing…sniff!
9:55 pm on November 3rd, 2012
It is confusing to me too. When you are supposed to take certain pills every 12 hours and then they change the hours I get all mixed up. I don’t know why my brain can’t do this. It ought to be simple. I try to move 1/2 hour tonight and then 1/2 hour tomorrow morning but…
So I took my evening pills 1/2 hour before I needed to and then tomorrow I will take them at the regular time and somehow (I hope) that will be correct. Maybe. I am still not sure.
9:59 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Staff!…Oh dear. This time changing business is for the Birds…grump!… Now my friend will not be coming home until it is dark outside, so therefore…sniff!…So therefore, we will not be going on our evening brutal*ish walks in the dark…hmmmmm….This whole time change thing may be for the best after-all…chuffle!
10:13 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Just got in from 2 hours of shoveling my driveway yet AGAIN.
Bear: The Time Traveller’s Wife (the book) is my absolute favorite. The movie was pretty good also.
10:17 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Time!…Facinating stuff!…snort!…Can someone here order the “Time Travelors Wife” thru Netflix?…grunt!…If the Bear and the Hobbit both endorse it, then it must be very good indeed…heh!
10:49 pm on November 3rd, 2012
Marches!…Well time as I know it marches on and now I’m told I have to go to bed even though I can sleep in one hour later tomorrow with no consequences…wheeze!…What??
Goodnight! … All!…hey, i just remembered something, this month is Turkey Month!….WOOOOOOO!!…heh!
11:52 pm on November 3rd, 2012
We didn’t go to New Jersey, but Mom took us on another long trip instead. Three of us were crammed into the Prius for a 3 hour drive. We are still trying to straighten out our bodies.
Just finished watching our team win a real nail-biter. Mom thought she was having a heart attack because her heart was racing so bad and her chest hurt. Once the game ended, nappily, she felt better. It was some sort of miracle.
Wose, we are very sorry to learn about Zelda. From what you have told us, she was a wonderful girl.
11:54 pm on November 3rd, 2012
ummmm… That would be happily, not nappily. That was some sort of Freudian slip because it is way past our bedtime.
Good night.
12:29 am on November 4th, 2012
OHs, so happy to hear that Shiek is doing better! That boy just keeps getting better for your Mom because he knows how much she loves him!
1:20 am on November 4th, 2012
Peace and comfort for those who love and are grieving Zelda’s loss.
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